Twatheads Twittering

[ChuckD]

So...yeah, it's not really perceived. The morons are everywhere.  

You're right. They are everywhere. So why waste so much time and energy trying to change their minds?

Why say anything ever

why punctuate sentences

Cheap shot. Shots fired

Do you even internet, bro'd?

That's probably the least sexiest photo of an Asian you've ever posted.

[Yeti]

So...yeah, it's not really perceived. The morons are everywhere.  

You're right. They are everywhere. So why waste so much time and energy trying to change their minds?

Why say anything ever

why punctuate sentences

Cheap shot. Shots fired

Do you even internet, bro'd?

Jesus, Peck:

[Slaky]

I totally get that there are laughs to be had from the Facebook Cubs/Facebook Bears/Best Fans St. Louis stuff. I've certainly laughed at them and probably will laugh more. But I think it's just gotten so boring to read and shame the dumb opinions of people on the Internet. It's just so predictable -- think of a dumb opinion, do a Twitter search and find someone in 5 seconds who's owning that opinion. Just seems like we spend a lot more time focusing on dumb people saying dumb things than all of the smart people out there saying smart things.

So, in summary, I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I'm now better and more enlightened than all of you and I wish I had never tweeted at Dave Kaplan the other night, which is what made this thread get bumped again. Thanks for reading.

tl;dr stop taking the internet so seriously eli

I agree with a lot of that, actually.

[SKO]

I totally get that there are laughs to be had from the Facebook Cubs/Facebook Bears/Best Fans St. Louis stuff. I've certainly laughed at them and probably will laugh more. But I think it's just gotten so boring to read and shame the dumb opinions of people on the Internet. It's just so predictable -- think of a dumb opinion, do a Twitter search and find someone in 5 seconds who's owning that opinion. Just seems like we spend a lot more time focusing on dumb people saying dumb things than all of the smart people out there saying smart things.

So, in summary, I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I'm now better and more enlightened than all of you and I wish I had never tweeted at Dave Kaplan the other night, which is what made this thread get bumped again. Thanks for reading.

tl;dr stop taking the internet so seriously eli

I agree with a lot of that, actually.

This is all well and good but we're discussing Jay Cutler. I'd love to focus on all of the smart things said by smart people about Jay Cutler but exactly 100% of that stuff has been written by me, and my therapist said I need to stop reading my own blog posts so  much because I'm developing textbook narcolepsy or something. I don't know, I wasn't listening. Pen made fun of Jay's hair and I was busy formulating a 10,000 word reply on why Jay's gorgeous mane was third only to Johnny Unitas excellent buzz cut and former University of South Carolina Gamecock Steve Taneyhill's outstanding mullet on the list of great QB hairdos.

[Eli]

I totally get that there are laughs to be had from the Facebook Cubs/Facebook Bears/Best Fans St. Louis stuff. I've certainly laughed at them and probably will laugh more. But I think it's just gotten so boring to read and shame the dumb opinions of people on the Internet. It's just so predictable -- think of a dumb opinion, do a Twitter search and find someone in 5 seconds who's owning that opinion. Just seems like we spend a lot more time focusing on dumb people saying dumb things than all of the smart people out there saying smart things.

So, in summary, I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I'm now better and more enlightened than all of you and I wish I had never tweeted at Dave Kaplan the other night, which is what made this thread get bumped again. Thanks for reading.

tl;dr stop taking the internet so seriously eli

I agree with a lot of that, actually.

This is all well and good but we're discussing Jay Cutler. I'd love to focus on all of the smart things said by smart people about Jay Cutler but exactly 100% of that stuff has been written by me, and my therapist said I need to stop reading my own blog posts so  much because I'm developing textbook narcolepsy or something. I don't know, I wasn't listening. Pen made fun of Jay's hair and I was busy formulating a 10,000 word reply on why Jay's gorgeous mane was third only to Johnny Unitas excellent buzz cut and former University of South Carolina Gamecock Steve Taneyhill's outstanding mullet on the list of great QB hairdos.

Stop defusing things with humor; I'm trying to make your life better here.

[CBStew]

I totally get that there are laughs to be had from the Facebook Cubs/Facebook Bears/Best Fans St. Louis stuff. I've certainly laughed at them and probably will laugh more. But I think it's just gotten so boring to read and shame the dumb opinions of people on the Internet. It's just so predictable -- think of a dumb opinion, do a Twitter search and find someone in 5 seconds who's owning that opinion. Just seems like we spend a lot more time focusing on dumb people saying dumb things than all of the smart people out there saying smart things.

So, in summary, I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I'm now better and more enlightened than all of you and I wish I had never tweeted at Dave Kaplan the other night, which is what made this thread get bumped again. Thanks for reading.

tl;dr stop taking the internet so seriously eli

I agree with a lot of that, actually.

This is all well and good but we're discussing Jay Cutler. I'd love to focus on all of the smart things said by smart people about Jay Cutler but exactly 100% of that stuff has been written by me, and my therapist said I need to stop reading my own blog posts so  much because I'm developing textbook narcolepsy or something. I don't know, I wasn't listening. Pen made fun of Jay's hair and I was busy formulating a 10,000 word reply on why Jay's gorgeous mane was third only to Johnny Unitas excellent buzz cut and former University of South Carolina Gamecock Steve Taneyhill's outstanding mullet on the list of great QB hairdos.

Just stay on your meds.  You'll be fine.

[Shooter]

So Jay is somewhere between the 8th and 14th best QB in the league. I feel like we're all pretty much in general agreement but SKO just wants to rail against the perceived injustices of the Internet.

Depends how many times you count Kap.

[SKO]

I totally get that there are laughs to be had from the Facebook Cubs/Facebook Bears/Best Fans St. Louis stuff. I've certainly laughed at them and probably will laugh more. But I think it's just gotten so boring to read and shame the dumb opinions of people on the Internet. It's just so predictable -- think of a dumb opinion, do a Twitter search and find someone in 5 seconds who's owning that opinion. Just seems like we spend a lot more time focusing on dumb people saying dumb things than all of the smart people out there saying smart things.

So, in summary, I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I'm now better and more enlightened than all of you and I wish I had never tweeted at Dave Kaplan the other night, which is what made this thread get bumped again. Thanks for reading.

tl;dr stop taking the internet so seriously eli

I agree with a lot of that, actually.

This is all well and good but we're discussing Jay Cutler. I'd love to focus on all of the smart things said by smart people about Jay Cutler but exactly 100% of that stuff has been written by me, and my therapist said I need to stop reading my own blog posts so  much because I'm developing textbook narcolepsy or something. I don't know, I wasn't listening. Pen made fun of Jay's hair and I was busy formulating a 10,000 word reply on why Jay's gorgeous mane was third only to Johnny Unitas excellent buzz cut and former University of South Carolina Gamecock Steve Taneyhill's outstanding mullet on the list of great QB hairdos.

Stop defusing things with humor; I'm trying to make your life better here.

Son, we live in a world that is full of meatballs, and a media that strive to give those meatballs validation for their  Jay Cutler hatred with vapid bullshit about clutchitude and eliteness. Someone has to put up walls against these people. Who's gonna do it? Apex? Yeti? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for the hours I've wasted, and you curse the stubbornness of it all. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That all of these hours spent on defending Jay, while mostly futile, have given some of you the resolve you need to wear that shirsey with pride. Hell, I got Penfoe to admit he couldn't argue with putting Jay Cutler in the top ten quarterbacks earlier this summer. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about when you're turning your nose up at the great farting contest that is the internet, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. I use words like adjusted yards per attempt, PFF grade, and DVOA. I use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You probably don't use them because you don't really know what they mean or don't care. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rolls his eyes at the idea of fighting off another Morrissey column, all the while knowing deep down it's okay because "poor SKO will probably handle this." I know damn well you've probably found yourself defending Jay Cutler using statistics and phrases I've put right there in your damn mouth. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up your laptop, and type out your own Cutler post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think about how I spend my time.

[Tonker]

I totally get that there are laughs to be had from the Facebook Cubs/Facebook Bears/Best Fans St. Louis stuff. I've certainly laughed at them and probably will laugh more. But I think it's just gotten so boring to read and shame the dumb opinions of people on the Internet. It's just so predictable -- think of a dumb opinion, do a Twitter search and find someone in 5 seconds who's owning that opinion. Just seems like we spend a lot more time focusing on dumb people saying dumb things than all of the smart people out there saying smart things.

So, in summary, I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I'm now better and more enlightened than all of you and I wish I had never tweeted at Dave Kaplan the other night, which is what made this thread get bumped again. Thanks for reading.

tl;dr stop taking the internet so seriously eli

I agree with a lot of that, actually.

This is all well and good but we're discussing Jay Cutler. I'd love to focus on all of the smart things said by smart people about Jay Cutler but exactly 100% of that stuff has been written by me, and my therapist said I need to stop reading my own blog posts so  much because I'm developing textbook narcolepsy or something. I don't know, I wasn't listening. Pen made fun of Jay's hair and I was busy formulating a 10,000 word reply on why Jay's gorgeous mane was third only to Johnny Unitas excellent buzz cut and former University of South Carolina Gamecock Steve Taneyhill's outstanding mullet on the list of great QB hairdos.

Stop defusing things with humor; I'm trying to make your life better here.

Son, we live in a world that is full of meatballs, and a media that strive to give those meatballs validation for their  Jay Cutler hatred with vapid bullshit about clutchitude and eliteness. Someone has to put up walls against these people. Who's gonna do it? Apex? Yeti? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for the hours I've wasted, and you curse the stubbornness of it all. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That all of these hours spent on defending Jay, while mostly futile, have given some of you the resolve you need to wear that shirsey with pride. Hell, I got Penfoe to admit he couldn't argue with putting Jay Cutler in the top ten quarterbacks earlier this summer. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about when you're turning your nose up at the great farting contest that is the internet, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. I use words like adjusted yards per attempt, PFF grade, and DVOA. I use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You probably don't use them because you don't really know what they mean or don't care. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rolls his eyes at the idea of fighting off another Morrissey column, all the while knowing deep down it's okay because "poor SKO will probably handle this." I know damn well you've probably found yourself defending Jay Cutler using statistics and phrases I've put right there in your damn mouth. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up your laptop, and type out your own Cutler post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think about how I spend my time.

[Eli]

Go crazy, SKO:

http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2014/09/10/bernstein-attempted-cutler-makeover-fizzling/

[Chuck to Chuck]

Go crazy, SKO:

http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2014/09/10/bernstein-attempted-cutler-makeover-fizzling/

Saw Jay at a party last night. No smiles. Maybe it's because his wife was there. She makes Oleg look tall.

[Eli]

Go crazy, SKO:

http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2014/09/10/bernstein-attempted-cutler-makeover-fizzling/

Saw Jay at a party last night. No smiles. Maybe it's because his wife was there. She makes Oleg look tall.

Maybe.

[BH]

Are one of you guys maury compson?

[Slaky]

Are one of you guys maury compson?

Fairly certain he is not one of us.

[CT III]

Are one of you guys maury compson?

Fairly certain he is not one of us.

Kind of wish he was though.