The 2010 Cubs Free Agent and Roster Moves Thread: SAVEENG OUR KUBBEEZ!!11

[Waco Kid]

Kenny gets his man.

"The White Sox acquired Juan Pierre from the Dodgers for two minor league pitchers, according to Yahoo's Tim Brown. The Dodgers will take on roughly half of Pierre salary."

OZZIEBALL!

[Dr. Nguyen Van Falk]

I don't think he meant Mike Rowe looks like Crane Kenney - I think he means there's some other guy in it. However this begs the question - why is Kerm watching commercials so closely? Go get a sandwich. Take a piss. Do something!

Fast forward?

I was going to say that but I assume Kerm was seeing these commercials when he was watching sports.

Also, fast forwarding advertising is like stealing bread from the mouths of PenFoe's family.

[PenFoe]

I don't think he meant Mike Rowe looks like Crane Kenney - I think he means there's some other guy in it. However this begs the question - why is Kerm watching commercials so closely? Go get a sandwich. Take a piss. Do something!

Fast forward?

I was going to say that but I assume Kerm was seeing these commercials when he was watching sports.

Also, fast forwarding advertising is like stealing bread from the mouths of PenFoe's family.

It's all fun and games until BabyPen is roaming the streets of Phoenix begging for strained sweet potatoes and breast milk.

[Kermit, B.]

I don't think he meant Mike Rowe looks like Crane Kenney - I think he means there's some other guy in it. However this begs the question - why is Kerm watching commercials so closely? Go get a sandwich. Take a piss. Do something!

Fast forward?

I was going to say that but I assume Kerm was seeing these commercials when he was watching sports.

Indeed.

[Richard Chuggar]

I don't think he meant Mike Rowe looks like Crane Kenney - I think he means there's some other guy in it. However this begs the question - why is Kerm watching commercials so closely? Go get a sandwich. Take a piss. Do something!

Fast forward?

I was going to say that but I assume Kerm was seeing these commercials when he was watching sports.

Also, fast forwarding advertising is like stealing bread from the mouths of PenFoe's family.

It's all fun and games until BabyPen is roaming the streets of Phoenix begging for strained sweet potatoes and breast milk.

Wouldn't one of PenFoe's commercials have to actually make it on the air for this to happen?

[PenFoe]

I don't think he meant Mike Rowe looks like Crane Kenney - I think he means there's some other guy in it. However this begs the question - why is Kerm watching commercials so closely? Go get a sandwich. Take a piss. Do something!

Fast forward?

I was going to say that but I assume Kerm was seeing these commercials when he was watching sports.

Also, fast forwarding advertising is like stealing bread from the mouths of PenFoe's family.

It's all fun and games until BabyPen is roaming the streets of Phoenix begging for strained sweet potatoes and breast milk.

Wouldn't one of PenFoe's commercials have to actually make it on the air for this to happen?

You wouldn't have seen them, our products' demographics don't reach the "TV shows targeted towards 13 year old girls" crowd.

[Dr. Nguyen Van Falk]

I don't think he meant Mike Rowe looks like Crane Kenney - I think he means there's some other guy in it. However this begs the question - why is Kerm watching commercials so closely? Go get a sandwich. Take a piss. Do something!

Fast forward?

I was going to say that but I assume Kerm was seeing these commercials when he was watching sports.

Also, fast forwarding advertising is like stealing bread from the mouths of PenFoe's family.

It's all fun and games until BabyPen is roaming the streets of Phoenix begging for strained sweet potatoes and breast milk.

Wouldn't one of PenFoe's commercials have to actually make it on the air for this to happen?

You wouldn't have seen them, our products' demographics don't reach the "TV shows targeted towards 13 year old girls" crowd.

Also: the romantic-pussies-with-deaf-girlfriends-at-christmas demo.

[PenFoe]

I don't think he meant Mike Rowe looks like Crane Kenney - I think he means there's some other guy in it. However this begs the question - why is Kerm watching commercials so closely? Go get a sandwich. Take a piss. Do something!

Fast forward?

I was going to say that but I assume Kerm was seeing these commercials when he was watching sports.

Also, fast forwarding advertising is like stealing bread from the mouths of PenFoe's family.

It's all fun and games until BabyPen is roaming the streets of Phoenix begging for strained sweet potatoes and breast milk.

Wouldn't one of PenFoe's commercials have to actually make it on the air for this to happen?

You wouldn't have seen them, our products' demographics don't reach the "TV shows targeted towards 13 year old girls" crowd.

Also: the romantic-pussies-with-deaf-girlfriends-at-christmas demo.

They may as well make a sequel to that spot where the guy is packing 12 inches.

[Yeti]

So, if the Cubs don't sign Byrd, then they can't really trade Bradley. Ankiel or Podsednik in center? Fuck that shit.

[Slaky]

So, if the Cubs don't sign Byrd, then they can't really trade Bradley. Ankiel or Podsednik in center? Fuck that shit.

What about his 76 OPS+ from last year doesn't appeal to you?

[Yeti]

So, if the Cubs don't sign Byrd, then they can't really trade Bradley. Ankiel or Podsednik in center? Fuck that shit.

What about his 76 OPS+ from last year doesn't appeal to you?

The only thing I can say about Ankiel is that he takes after Hancock and can run wrecklessly into a stationary object.

(I was at that game and it looked pretty painful)

[Chuck to Chuck]

So, if the Cubs don't sign Byrd, then they can't really trade Bradley. Ankiel or Podsednik in center? Fuck that shit.

Ernie Banks: The Cubs In 10, Will Suck Again.

[PenFoe]

Inevitable.

According to FOXSports.com, the Cubs are stepping up their pursuit of free agent outfielder Marlon Byrd.

The Cubs will have to look at alternatives now that they lost out on Mike Cameron, who agreed to terms with Boston this week. Byrd, 32, batted .283/.329/.479 with 20 homers, 89 RBI and 43 doubles in '09. If he signs with Chicago, he'll be reunited with his former hitting coach Rudy Jaramillo. It's believed that Cubs will need to shed some payroll -- most likely through a Milton Bradley trade -- before any additional spending takes place.

[Powdered Toast Man]

Inevitable.

According to FOXSports.com, the Cubs are stepping up their pursuit of free agent outfielder Marlon Byrd.

The Cubs will have to look at alternatives now that they lost out on Mike Cameron, who agreed to terms with Boston this week. Byrd, 32, batted .283/.329/.479 with 20 homers, 89 RBI and 43 doubles in '09. If he signs with Chicago, he'll be reunited with his former hitting coach Rudy Jaramillo. It's believed that Cubs will need to shed some payroll -- most likely through a Milton Bradley trade -- before any additional spending takes place.

I'm no statfaggatron, but those are better than Cameron's numbers.  And Byrd's younger.  Is there a faggy stat that confirms me wanting the Cubs to sign Cameron over Byrd?

[Slaky]

Inevitable.

According to FOXSports.com, the Cubs are stepping up their pursuit of free agent outfielder Marlon Byrd.

The Cubs will have to look at alternatives now that they lost out on Mike Cameron, who agreed to terms with Boston this week. Byrd, 32, batted .283/.329/.479 with 20 homers, 89 RBI and 43 doubles in '09. If he signs with Chicago, he'll be reunited with his former hitting coach Rudy Jaramillo. It's believed that Cubs will need to shed some payroll -- most likely through a Milton Bradley trade -- before any additional spending takes place.

I'm no statfaggatron, but those are better than Cameron's numbers.  And Byrd's younger.  Is there a faggy stat that confirms me wanting the Cubs to sign Cameron over Byrd?

Let's just keep Milt. Come on, make it so.