The 2010 Cubs Free Agent and Roster Moves Thread: SAVEENG OUR KUBBEEZ!!11

[Saul Goodman]

Zzzzzzzz...though it sounds like it's going to be a lot easier for me to get kicked out of Wrigley.

The Rickettses GET IT.  They UNDERSTAND.  Who is your favorite associate?  Mine is Ryan Theriot.  Such a hard worker.  Associate of the Month for April.  You heard it here first.

[Wheezer]

Zzzzzzzz...though it sounds like it's going to be a lot easier for me to get kicked out of Wrigley.

14) Their will be a customized "Wrigley Grass Seed" developed by Scott's that will be available in stores this summer.

I'm thinking a Phalaris species might work in this respect.

[Dr. Nguyen Van Falk]

Zzzzzzzz...though it sounds like it's going to be a lot easier for me to get kicked out of Wrigley.

6) The food options at the concession stands are being greatly expanded and a "Cubs Hot Dog" is being created ala the famous "Dodger Dog" that is sold in Los Angeles.

These "Frankfurter" sausages of yours may fly out in Hollywood, Mister, but around these part folks don't much cotton to ethnic food. Leave that bastard stuff to the Heinies and the Huns, thank you very much. I don't care how "famous" they may be.

[Eli]

Zzzzzzzz...though it sounds like it's going to be a lot easier for me to get kicked out of Wrigley.

I didn't see anything in that article about 2010 Cubs Anal.

[Internet Apex]

Zzzzzzzz...though it sounds like it's going to be a lot easier for me to get kicked out of Wrigley.

I didn't see anything in that article about 2010 Cubs Anal.

It says they're going to have people monitoring every aspect of the fan experience, inside and out. I don't know what you think that means, but I can only guess that includes some 2010 Cubs Anal.

10) The Cubs will soon announce the hiring of a Chief Hospitality Officer or Director of Game Day Entertainment and that person's job will be to make sure that every aspect of a fan's experience is held to the highest standards of excellence. There will be uniformed "team ambassadors" who will be monitoring every part of the "Cubs Universe" on game day. Whether a fan takes the train, parks their car in a surrounding lot, rides their bicycle, or takes a bus to the area surrounding the stadium there will be Cubs ambassadors monitoring everything that a fan experiences and trouble shooting any problems that are brought to their attention.

[Quality Start Machine]

Zzzzzzzz...though it sounds like it's going to be a lot easier for me to get kicked out of Wrigley.

Windows under the right field bleachers? What can possibly go wrong?

[Dr. Nguyen Van Falk]

Zzzzzzzz...though it sounds like it's going to be a lot easier for me to get kicked out of Wrigley.

Windows under the right field bleachers? What can possibly go wrong?

Um, windows looking on the batting cages, in a room available for private rental...

4) The area underneath the right field bleachers will be turned into a party area with one way glass allowing the fans who are renting the area to watch players take batting practice in the existing batting cages.

So, to answer your question: probably nothing.

[morpheus]

Zzzzzzzz...though it sounds like it's going to be a lot easier for me to get kicked out of Wrigley.

6) The food options at the concession stands are being greatly expanded and a "Cubs Hot Dog" is being created ala the famous "Dodger Dog" that is sold in Los Angeles.

These "Frankfurter" sausages of yours may fly out in Hollywood, Mister, but around these part folks don't much cotton to ethnic food. Leave that bastard stuff to the Heinies and the Huns, thank you very much. I don't care how "famous" they may be.

Will the Cubs Hot Dog come with catsup?

[Slaky]

Zzzzzzzz...though it sounds like it's going to be a lot easier for me to get kicked out of Wrigley.

I didn't see anything in that article about 2010 Cubs Anal.

It says they're going to have people monitoring every aspect of the fan experience, inside and out. I don't know what you think that means, but I can only guess that includes some 2010 Cubs Anal.

10) The Cubs will soon announce the hiring of a Chief Hospitality Officer or Director of Game Day Entertainment and that person's job will be to make sure that every aspect of a fan's experience is held to the highest standards of excellence. There will be uniformed "team ambassadors" who will be monitoring every part of the "Cubs Universe" on game day. Whether a fan takes the train, parks their car in a surrounding lot, rides their bicycle, or takes a bus to the area surrounding the stadium there will be Cubs ambassadors monitoring everything that a fan experiences and trouble shooting any problems that are brought to their attention.

Read: more octogenarian security people.

[R-V]

Zzzzzzzz...though it sounds like it's going to be a lot easier for me to get kicked out of Wrigley.

6) The food options at the concession stands are being greatly expanded and a "Cubs Hot Dog" is being created ala the famous "Dodger Dog" that is sold in Los Angeles.

These "Frankfurter" sausages of yours may fly out in Hollywood, Mister, but around these part folks don't much cotton to ethnic food. Leave that bastard stuff to the Heinies and the Huns, thank you very much. I don't care how "famous" they may be.

Will the Cubs Hot Dog come with catsup?

Will they still let me put additional catsup on top of the included catsup? I don't want to be stuck with some lousy standard-issue amount of catsup on my frankfurter.

[Waco Kid]

Zzzzzzzz...though it sounds like it's going to be a lot easier for me to get kicked out of Wrigley.

I didn't see anything in that article about 2010 Cubs Anal.

It says they're going to have people monitoring every aspect of the fan experience, inside and out. I don't know what you think that means, but I can only guess that includes some 2010 Cubs Anal.

10) The Cubs will soon announce the hiring of a Chief Hospitality Officer or Director of Game Day Entertainment and that person's job will be to make sure that every aspect of a fan's experience is held to the highest standards of excellence. There will be uniformed "team ambassadors" who will be monitoring every part of the "Cubs Universe" on game day. Whether a fan takes the train, parks their car in a surrounding lot, rides their bicycle, or takes a bus to the area surrounding the stadium there will be Cubs ambassadors monitoring everything that a fan experiences and trouble shooting any problems that are brought to their attention.

I take it that this includes an ambassador on the field to troubleshoot any problems there as well. Certainly Fat Silva serving up a bad outing would lessen my fan experience.

[CT III]

10) The Cubs will soon announce the hiring of a Chief Hospitality Officer or Director of Game Day Entertainment and that person's job will be to make sure that every aspect of a fan's experience is held to the highest standards of excellence. There will be uniformed "team ambassadors" who will be monitoring every part of the "Cubs Universe" on game day. Whether a fan takes the train, parks their car in a surrounding lot, rides their bicycle, or takes a bus to the area surrounding the stadium there will be Cubs ambassadors monitoring everything that a fan experiences and trouble shooting any problems that are brought to their attention.

A Chief Hospitality Officer OR a Director of Game Day Entertainment?  Why not both?  Ricketts is too damn cheap!

[Dr. Nguyen Van Falk]

Zzzzzzzz...though it sounds like it's going to be a lot easier for me to get kicked out of Wrigley.

6) The food options at the concession stands are being greatly expanded and a "Cubs Hot Dog" is being created ala the famous "Dodger Dog" that is sold in Los Angeles.

These "Frankfurter" sausages of yours may fly out in Hollywood, Mister, but around these part folks don't much cotton to ethnic food. Leave that bastard stuff to the Heinies and the Huns, thank you very much. I don't care how "famous" they may be.

Will the Cubs Hot Dog come with catsup?

Will they still let me put additional catsup on top of the included catsup? I don't want to be stuck with some lousy standard-issue amount of catsup on my frankfurter.

You'll be able to purchase additional ketchup packets from your aisle's Cubs Ambassador.

And rest assured that Huey won't be there to bitch about it now that the Rickettses are finally banning the Irish.

[Brownie]

It'll be great. A fun, antiseptic day at Wrigley Field. You'll want to take the wife and kids to do all these things except that it's too freaking expensive to do so, fun will be outlawed, getting there's a pain in the ass, and in the final analysis the kids for which the experience is about to get "friendlier" (those under the age of 8) would just as soon go see the Schaumburg Flyers and might actually believe you when you tell him the blond-haired third baseman for Schaumburg is Aramis Ramirez and the 19-year-old first baseman for Duluth is Albert Pujols.

[R-V]

It'll be great. A fun, antiseptic day at Wrigley Field. You'll want to take the wife and kids to do all these things except that it's too freaking expensive to do so, fun will be outlawed, getting there's a pain in the ass, and in the final analysis the kids for which the experience is about to get "friendlier" (those under the age of 8) would just as soon go see the Schaumburg Flyers and might actually believe you when you tell him the blond-haired third baseman for Schaumburg is Aramis Ramirez and the 19-year-old first baseman for Duluth is Albert Pujols.

Which of these changes are going to make the place any less fun or more antiseptic or more expensive than it already is?

They're cleaning up the shitters, putting in more TVs, adding some natural light to the place, maybe offering some better food, and allowing kids to get autographs and run bases. The rest of it is either window dressing or PR bullshit or improvements to luxury stuff that only morph can afford anyway. Tickets have been expensive for awhile now, and they'd be dumb not to keep raising the prices as long as they're selling out.

Maybe I'm being too sincere here, but I don't think anything the Ricketts are doing is making a Schaumburg game any more attractive than it was 3 years ago.