2009-10 Bears Season: Utler, 'Uther 'Uckers

[Slaky]

Can we simply set Jake Utler on awesome, Matt Forte on "2008 Vintage," the wide receivers on "Able to Start for a SEC School," and the offensive line on "Not shitty?"

Don't forget to set the defense to "2006 1985" while we're at it.

As long as we're aiming high'd.

Great, we've fixed the Bears. That wasn't so hard.

Now about those Cubs...

[Eli]

Can we simply set Jake Utler on awesome, Matt Forte on "2008 Vintage," the wide receivers on "Able to Start for a SEC School," and the offensive line on "Not shitty?"

Don't forget to set the defense to "2006 1985" while we're at it.

As long as we're aiming high'd.

Great, we've fixed the Bears. That wasn't so hard.

Now about those Cubs...

Just set 'em to 2008 2007 2003 1998 1984 1969 1945 1929 1908.

[Dr. Nguyen Van Falk]

Can we simply set Jake Utler on awesome, Matt Forte on "2008 Vintage," the wide receivers on "Able to Start for a SEC School," and the offensive line on "Not shitty?"

Don't forget to set the defense to "2006 1985" while we're at it.

As long as we're aiming high'd.

Great, we've fixed the Bears. That wasn't so hard.

Now about those Cubs...

Just set 'em to 2008 2007 2003 1998 1984 1969 1945 1929 1908.

Has it really been that long?

[MAD]

Can we simply set Jake Utler on awesome, Matt Forte on "2008 Vintage," the wide receivers on "Able to Start for a SEC School," and the offensive line on "Not shitty?"

Don't forget to set the defense to "2006 1985" while we're at it.

As long as we're aiming high'd.

Great, we've fixed the Bears. That wasn't so hard.

Now about those Cubs...

Just set 'em to 2008 2007 2003 1998 1984 1969 1945 1929 1908.

Why does Eli hate the 1989, 1938, 1935, 1932 and 1918 Cubs so much?

[PenFoe]

Can we simply set Jake Utler on awesome, Matt Forte on "2008 Vintage," the wide receivers on "Able to Start for a SEC School," and the offensive line on "Not shitty?"

Don't forget to set the defense to "2006 1985" while we're at it.

As long as we're aiming high'd.

Great, we've fixed the Bears. That wasn't so hard.

Now about those Cubs...

Just set 'em to 2008 2007 2003 1998 1984 1969 1945 1929 1908.

Why does Eli hate the 1989, 1938, 1935, 1932 and 1918 Cubs so much?

Because they didn't win the World Series?

[Weebs]

Looks like the Bears are going to have to re-sign Ogunleye.

[CT III]

Looks like the Bears are going to have to re-sign Ogunleye.

Or Dan Bauzin.

[Internet Apex]

I wonder if Adams had heart trouble because he was doing something edgy to try and bulk up. If that turns out to be the case, the Bears are going to take a serious P.R. hit. That hit should be spread around though. Nobody seems to give a shit who takes what where football players are concerned, while Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa are treated like child rapists. Damn if I can understand any of it but a man is dead. Let's wait and see how this all plays out.

[Rob_Goldman]

Biggs tweeted it appears to have been cardiac arrest due to an enlarged heart.

[Slaky]

An EKG detects these things. Hadn't he had one in the recent past? I would assume so. Is there treatment for such a condition?

[Weebs]

An EKG detects these things. Hadn't he had one in the recent past? I would assume so. Is there treatment for such a condition?

I think a heart transplant is the only thing that can be done.  Granted, I'm basing this almost exclusively on what I remember from watching John Q.

[Dr. Nguyen Van Falk]

An EKG detects these things. Hadn't he had one in the recent past? I would assume so. Is there treatment for such a condition?

I think a heart transplant is the only thing that can be done.  Granted, I'm basing this almost exclusively on what I remember from watching John Q.

I heard Adams had a donor heart lined up last week, when tragedy struck.

Also: Weebs isn't right...

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/enlarged-heart/DS01129

While having an enlarged heart may not always be preventable, it's usually treatable. Treatment for enlarged heart is aimed at correcting the underlying cause. Treatment for an enlarged heart can include medications, medical procedures or surgery.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/enlarged-heart/DS01129/DSECTION=treatments-and-drugs

[Weebs]

An EKG detects these things. Hadn't he had one in the recent past? I would assume so. Is there treatment for such a condition?

I think a heart transplant is the only thing that can be done.  Granted, I'm basing this almost exclusively on what I remember from watching John Q.

I heard Adams had a donor heart lined up last week, when tragedy struck.

Also: Weebs isn't right...

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/enlarged-heart/DS01129

While having an enlarged heart may not always be preventable, it's usually treatable. Treatment for enlarged heart is aimed at correcting the underlying cause. Treatment for an enlarged heart can include medications, medical procedures or surgery.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/enlarged-heart/DS01129/DSECTION=treatments-and-drugs

Well then Denzel went to some unnecessarily-extreme measures for his son.

[Eli]

Steroids can cause an enlarged heart.

[CT III]

But hey, we've still got Dusty Dvorachek!