Twins SPLOOGEFEST

[Quality Start Machine]

May 4, 1984, the Oakland A's Dave Kingman hit a ball that disappeared through a drainage hole in the Teflon roof. The ball never came down, and Kingman was given a ground-rule double. The next day, the Twins devised a plan in which, before Kingman's first at-bat, a ball would drop from the roof so that Twins first baseman Mickey Hatcher could make the catch. As Kingman stepped into the batter's box, the ball knuckled its way down, bounced and hit Hatcher in the groin, sending him to the turf. "Kingman looked at me and said, 'What's wrong with you?' " says Hatcher, now the LA Angels batting coach.

I have no idea what the point of this story is, but why the hell wasn't Hatcher wearing a cup?

Point of story: Nut shots are always funny.

Re: Hatcher and the cup: Ever been hit in the cup by a baseball travelling at a decent speed? It'll still make you puke, just won't turn your nuts to puree.

No, whenever I see a ball traveling at a decent speed toward my testicles, I use a different part of my body to stop it.

As a catcher/first baseman for a lot of my baseball life, I can say it's not always possible.

When you're a shitty fielder like Mickey Hatcher, even less so.

Did the coach mind that you wore pleated jeans?

I wore denim capris. They look more like baseball pants.

[Kermit, B.]

May 4, 1984, the Oakland A's Dave Kingman hit a ball that disappeared through a drainage hole in the Teflon roof. The ball never came down, and Kingman was given a ground-rule double. The next day, the Twins devised a plan in which, before Kingman's first at-bat, a ball would drop from the roof so that Twins first baseman Mickey Hatcher could make the catch. As Kingman stepped into the batter's box, the ball knuckled its way down, bounced and hit Hatcher in the groin, sending him to the turf. "Kingman looked at me and said, 'What's wrong with you?' " says Hatcher, now the LA Angels batting coach.

I have no idea what the point of this story is, but why the hell wasn't Hatcher wearing a cup?

Point of story: Nut shots are always funny.

Re: Hatcher and the cup: Ever been hit in the cup by a baseball travelling at a decent speed? It'll still make you puke, just won't turn your nuts to puree.

No, whenever I see a ball traveling at a decent speed toward my testicles, I use a different part of my body to stop it.

As a catcher/first baseman for a lot of my baseball life, I can say it's not always possible.

When you're a shitty fielder like Mickey Hatcher, even less so.

Being a catcher/firstbaseman for most of my baseball life, I have to agree with Fork.

I've been a first baseman my entire life and have never been hit in the balls.  I guess it helps that I'm good at it.

[Philberto]

May 4, 1984, the Oakland A's Dave Kingman hit a ball that disappeared through a drainage hole in the Teflon roof. The ball never came down, and Kingman was given a ground-rule double. The next day, the Twins devised a plan in which, before Kingman's first at-bat, a ball would drop from the roof so that Twins first baseman Mickey Hatcher could make the catch. As Kingman stepped into the batter's box, the ball knuckled its way down, bounced and hit Hatcher in the groin, sending him to the turf. "Kingman looked at me and said, 'What's wrong with you?' " says Hatcher, now the LA Angels batting coach.

I have no idea what the point of this story is, but why the hell wasn't Hatcher wearing a cup?

Point of story: Nut shots are always funny.

Re: Hatcher and the cup: Ever been hit in the cup by a baseball travelling at a decent speed? It'll still make you puke, just won't turn your nuts to puree.

No, whenever I see a ball traveling at a decent speed toward my testicles, I use a different part of my body to stop it.

As a catcher/first baseman for a lot of my baseball life, I can say it's not always possible.

When you're a shitty fielder like Mickey Hatcher, even less so.

Being a catcher/firstbaseman for most of my baseball life, I have to agree with Fork.

I've been a first baseman my entire life and have never been hit in the balls.  I guess it helps that I'm good at it.

We get it, you're Hee Seop Choi

[SKO]

May 4, 1984, the Oakland A's Dave Kingman hit a ball that disappeared through a drainage hole in the Teflon roof. The ball never came down, and Kingman was given a ground-rule double. The next day, the Twins devised a plan in which, before Kingman's first at-bat, a ball would drop from the roof so that Twins first baseman Mickey Hatcher could make the catch. As Kingman stepped into the batter's box, the ball knuckled its way down, bounced and hit Hatcher in the groin, sending him to the turf. "Kingman looked at me and said, 'What's wrong with you?' " says Hatcher, now the LA Angels batting coach.

I have no idea what the point of this story is, but why the hell wasn't Hatcher wearing a cup?

Point of story: Nut shots are always funny.

Re: Hatcher and the cup: Ever been hit in the cup by a baseball travelling at a decent speed? It'll still make you puke, just won't turn your nuts to puree.

No, whenever I see a ball traveling at a decent speed toward my testicles, I use a different part of my body to stop it.

As a catcher/first baseman for a lot of my baseball life, I can say it's not always possible.

When you're a shitty fielder like Mickey Hatcher, even less so.

Intrepid Reader BNC Fork:
None of you statfaggots know a god damn thing about baseball until you take a two hopper right in the sack. It's the kind of sadistic pleasure only people who actually PLAY the game would know.

[Dr. Nguyen Van Falk]

May 4, 1984, the Oakland A's Dave Kingman hit a ball that disappeared through a drainage hole in the Teflon roof. The ball never came down, and Kingman was given a ground-rule double. The next day, the Twins devised a plan in which, before Kingman's first at-bat, a ball would drop from the roof so that Twins first baseman Mickey Hatcher could make the catch. As Kingman stepped into the batter's box, the ball knuckled its way down, bounced and hit Hatcher in the groin, sending him to the turf. "Kingman looked at me and said, 'What's wrong with you?' " says Hatcher, now the LA Angels batting coach.

I have no idea what the point of this story is, but why the hell wasn't Hatcher wearing a cup?

Point of story: Nut shots are always funny.

Re: Hatcher and the cup: Ever been hit in the cup by a baseball travelling at a decent speed? It'll still make you puke, just won't turn your nuts to puree.

No, whenever I see a ball traveling at a decent speed toward my testicles, I use a different part of my body to stop it.

As a catcher/first baseman for a lot of my baseball life, I can say it's not always possible.

When you're a shitty fielder like Mickey Hatcher, even less so.

Intrepid Reader BNC Fork:
None of you statfaggots know a god damn thing about baseball until you take a two hopper right in the sack. It's the kind of sadistic pleasure only people who actually PLAY the game would know.

But how long did it take him to rehab his sack?

And how did this compare to Barrett and/or Pie's time spent sidelined by nut pain?

[CT III]

May 4, 1984, the Oakland A's Dave Kingman hit a ball that disappeared through a drainage hole in the Teflon roof. The ball never came down, and Kingman was given a ground-rule double. The next day, the Twins devised a plan in which, before Kingman's first at-bat, a ball would drop from the roof so that Twins first baseman Mickey Hatcher could make the catch. As Kingman stepped into the batter's box, the ball knuckled its way down, bounced and hit Hatcher in the groin, sending him to the turf. "Kingman looked at me and said, 'What's wrong with you?' " says Hatcher, now the LA Angels batting coach.

I have no idea what the point of this story is, but why the hell wasn't Hatcher wearing a cup?

Point of story: Nut shots are always funny.

Re: Hatcher and the cup: Ever been hit in the cup by a baseball travelling at a decent speed? It'll still make you puke, just won't turn your nuts to puree.

No, whenever I see a ball traveling at a decent speed toward my testicles, I use a different part of my body to stop it.

As a catcher/first baseman for a lot of my baseball life, I can say it's not always possible.

When you're a shitty fielder like Mickey Hatcher, even less so.

Being a catcher/firstbaseman for most of my baseball life, I have to agree with Fork.

I've been a first baseman my entire life and have never been hit in the balls.  I guess it helps that I'm good at it.

I think you're lying.

[Quality Start Machine]

May 4, 1984, the Oakland A's Dave Kingman hit a ball that disappeared through a drainage hole in the Teflon roof. The ball never came down, and Kingman was given a ground-rule double. The next day, the Twins devised a plan in which, before Kingman's first at-bat, a ball would drop from the roof so that Twins first baseman Mickey Hatcher could make the catch. As Kingman stepped into the batter's box, the ball knuckled its way down, bounced and hit Hatcher in the groin, sending him to the turf. "Kingman looked at me and said, 'What's wrong with you?' " says Hatcher, now the LA Angels batting coach.

I have no idea what the point of this story is, but why the hell wasn't Hatcher wearing a cup?

Point of story: Nut shots are always funny.

Re: Hatcher and the cup: Ever been hit in the cup by a baseball travelling at a decent speed? It'll still make you puke, just won't turn your nuts to puree.

No, whenever I see a ball traveling at a decent speed toward my testicles, I use a different part of my body to stop it.

As a catcher/first baseman for a lot of my baseball life, I can say it's not always possible.

When you're a shitty fielder like Mickey Hatcher, even less so.

Being a catcher/firstbaseman for most of my baseball life, I have to agree with Fork.

I've been a first baseman my entire life and have never been hit in the balls.  I guess it helps that I'm good at it.

I don't think I ever took one at first base. But any catcher who says they never took a foul ball off the cup is full of shit.

[Kermit, B.]

May 4, 1984, the Oakland A's Dave Kingman hit a ball that disappeared through a drainage hole in the Teflon roof. The ball never came down, and Kingman was given a ground-rule double. The next day, the Twins devised a plan in which, before Kingman's first at-bat, a ball would drop from the roof so that Twins first baseman Mickey Hatcher could make the catch. As Kingman stepped into the batter's box, the ball knuckled its way down, bounced and hit Hatcher in the groin, sending him to the turf. "Kingman looked at me and said, 'What's wrong with you?' " says Hatcher, now the LA Angels batting coach.

I have no idea what the point of this story is, but why the hell wasn't Hatcher wearing a cup?

Point of story: Nut shots are always funny.

Re: Hatcher and the cup: Ever been hit in the cup by a baseball travelling at a decent speed? It'll still make you puke, just won't turn your nuts to puree.

No, whenever I see a ball traveling at a decent speed toward my testicles, I use a different part of my body to stop it.

As a catcher/first baseman for a lot of my baseball life, I can say it's not always possible.

When you're a shitty fielder like Mickey Hatcher, even less so.

Being a catcher/firstbaseman for most of my baseball life, I have to agree with Fork.

I've been a first baseman my entire life and have never been hit in the balls.  I guess it helps that I'm good at it.

I think you're lying.

Good to see your Ripken-esque streak of being wrong is still intact.  Did I do that right?

[Andy]

May 4, 1984, the Oakland A's Dave Kingman hit a ball that disappeared through a drainage hole in the Teflon roof. The ball never came down, and Kingman was given a ground-rule double. The next day, the Twins devised a plan in which, before Kingman's first at-bat, a ball would drop from the roof so that Twins first baseman Mickey Hatcher could make the catch. As Kingman stepped into the batter's box, the ball knuckled its way down, bounced and hit Hatcher in the groin, sending him to the turf. "Kingman looked at me and said, 'What's wrong with you?' " says Hatcher, now the LA Angels batting coach.

I have no idea what the point of this story is, but why the hell wasn't Hatcher wearing a cup?

Point of story: Nut shots are always funny.

Re: Hatcher and the cup: Ever been hit in the cup by a baseball travelling at a decent speed? It'll still make you puke, just won't turn your nuts to puree.

No, whenever I see a ball traveling at a decent speed toward my testicles, I use a different part of my body to stop it.

As a catcher/first baseman for a lot of my baseball life, I can say it's not always possible.

When you're a shitty fielder like Mickey Hatcher, even less so.

Being a catcher/firstbaseman for most of my baseball life, I have to agree with Fork.

I've been a first baseman my entire life and have never been hit in the balls.  I guess it helps that I'm good at it.

If you were so good at being hit in the balls it would have happened to you.  Wait, what are you saying?

[Dr. Nguyen Van Falk]

Can't we have one thread that doesn't end with us digging up a corpse bragging about our amateur sports careers?

[BH]

Can't we have one thread that doesn't end with us digging up a corpse bragging about our amateur sports careers?

Yes. Let's not relive Thrill's athletic accolades once again.

[Quality Start Machine]

Can't we have one thread that doesn't end with usKerm digging up a corpse bragging about our amateur sports careers having tiny balls?

[Philberto]

Can't we have one thread that doesn't end with us digging up a corpse bragging about our amateur sports careers?

Yes. Let's not relive Thrill's athletic accolades once again.

I would think his only accolades would include throwing a football at a funeral procession for a fallen soldier

[Dr. Nguyen Van Falk]

Can't we have one thread that doesn't end with us digging up a corpse bragging about our amateur sports careers?

Yes. Let's not relive Thrill's athletic accolades once again.

Have I ever told you about the time we couldn't get into our locker room after a game because the cops were in there chatting with a teammate who had two-handed his stick across the back of an opponent's neck after the whistle?

[BH]

Can't we have one thread that doesn't end with us digging up a corpse bragging about our amateur sports careers?

Yes. Let's not relive Thrill's athletic accolades once again.

Have I ever told you about the time we couldn't get into our locker room after a game because the cops were in there chatting with a teammate who had two-handed his stick across the back of an opponent's neck after the whistle?

Why would the art club need a locker room? Was it for the shower bonding?