2009-2010 Blackhawks Lord Stanley Bonertime Thread

[Tony]

Without three of their best players - they've won two in a row. Very nice.

Huet is settling in nicely. And Kane made his case for goal of the month.

I've seen that replay at least a dozen times.  I still have no idea how that puck went in.  That shit was sick.

Fuck, I just saw the Youtube clip.  Jesus H. Christ.

Second...fuck DirecTV.

Yeah what the hell DirecTV! I want my hockee dammit.

Call them and bitch about it.  I had two different friends do that, and they gave them the hockey package (Center Ice, or whatever it's called) for free.

Really? Do you think they'd let me take the Sunday Ticket instead?

[Kermit, B.]

Without three of their best players - they've won two in a row. Very nice.

Huet is settling in nicely. And Kane made his case for goal of the month.

I've seen that replay at least a dozen times.  I still have no idea how that puck went in.  That shit was sick.

Fuck, I just saw the Youtube clip.  Jesus H. Christ.

Second...fuck DirecTV.

Yeah what the hell DirecTV! I want my hockee dammit.

Call them and bitch about it.  I had two different friends do that, and they gave them the hockey package (Center Ice, or whatever it's called) for free.

Really? Do you think they'd let me take the Sunday Ticket instead?

I...doubt it.

[Tony]

Without three of their best players - they've won two in a row. Very nice.

Huet is settling in nicely. And Kane made his case for goal of the month.

I've seen that replay at least a dozen times.  I still have no idea how that puck went in.  That shit was sick.

Fuck, I just saw the Youtube clip.  Jesus H. Christ.

Second...fuck DirecTV.

Yeah what the hell DirecTV! I want my hockee dammit.

Call them and bitch about it.  I had two different friends do that, and they gave them the hockey package (Center Ice, or whatever it's called) for free.

Really? Do you think they'd let me take the Sunday Ticket instead?

I...doubt it.

Damn. I'd actually watch that. I should have said I want my Hawks hockee dammit. Non-Hawk hockey doesn't do it for me.

[Internet Apex]

Without three of their best players - they've won two in a row. Very nice.

Huet is settling in nicely. And Kane made his case for goal of the month.

I've seen that replay at least a dozen times.  I still have no idea how that puck went in.  That shit was sick.

Fuck, I just saw the Youtube clip.  Jesus H. Christ.

Second...fuck DirecTV.

Yeah what the hell DirecTV! I want my hockee dammit.

Call them and bitch about it.  I had two different friends do that, and they gave them the hockey package (Center Ice, or whatever it's called) for free.

Really? Do you think they'd let me take the Sunday Ticket instead?

I...doubt it.

Damn. I'd actually watch that. I should have said I want my Hawks hockee dammit. Non-Hawk hockey doesn't do it for me.

I agree. It's like watching two ugly chicks shower together.

[Tony]

Without three of their best players - they've won two in a row. Very nice.

Huet is settling in nicely. And Kane made his case for goal of the month.

I've seen that replay at least a dozen times.  I still have no idea how that puck went in.  That shit was sick.

Fuck, I just saw the Youtube clip.  Jesus H. Christ.

Second...fuck DirecTV.

Yeah what the hell DirecTV! I want my hockee dammit.

Call them and bitch about it.  I had two different friends do that, and they gave them the hockey package (Center Ice, or whatever it's called) for free.

Really? Do you think they'd let me take the Sunday Ticket instead?

I...doubt it.

Damn. I'd actually watch that. I should have said I want my Hawks hockee dammit. Non-Hawk hockey doesn't do it for me.

I agree. It's like watching two ugly chicks shower together.

Intrepid Reader: Steve Phillips

Sexy.

[Andy]

Call and complain about not being able to watch the UFL on Versus and they'll give you Sunday Ticket for free.

Actually, no, they won't, they'll just laugh at you for asking about the UFL.

[Indolent Reader]

Dish Network tried to give me the ole screwjob on a bill a few months ago, and the result of my complaining was Skinemax for a penny a month.  I must have been breathing heavily on the phone.

[Internet Apex]

Dish Network tried to give me the ole screwjob on a bill a few months ago, and the result of my complaining was Skinemax for a penny a month.  I must have been breathing heavily on the phone.

They show labias on that channel now. Win. Also, flaccid male frontal. It seems there's a limit to how much time those parts can be on the screen before they have to rate it X. You get about 15 seconds of meat curtain and then she's bouncing up and down in his lap with her legs tightly closed. Yay?

When I was about 8 I knew about X-Rated material from my friend's older brothers' magazines, videos etc. And I remember seeing ads for stuff that was rated "XXX." I thought it must be even nastier than the stuff I was currently watching. I couldn't imagine what could be more graphic than the chicks with basketball jugs getting lit up by a gaggle of 12-inch dongs from every angle. My friend theorized that XXX porn was probably ghey porn, which sounded reasonable. Couldn't be enough fair warnings about that type of action. But then what was XX porn made of? I still have no clue.

[ChuckD]

Dish Network tried to give me the ole screwjob on a bill a few months ago, and the result of my complaining was Skinemax for a penny a month.  I must have been breathing heavily on the phone.

They show labias on that channel now. Win. Also, flaccid male frontal. It seems there's a limit to how much time those parts can be on the screen before they have to rate it X. You get about 15 seconds of meat curtain and then she's bouncing up and down in his lap with her legs tightly closed. Yay?

When I was about 8 I knew about X-Rated material from my friend's older brothers' magazines, videos etc. And I remember seeing ads for stuff that was rated "XXX." I thought it must be even nastier than the stuff I was currently watching. I couldn't imagine what could be more graphic than the chicks with basketball jugs getting lit up by a gaggle of 12-inch dongs from every angle. My friend theorized that XXX porn was probably ghey porn, which sounded reasonable. Couldn't be enough fair warnings about that type of action. But then what was XX porn made of? I still have no clue.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X-rated

In the United States, the X-rating originally referred to a non-trademarked rating that indicated a film contained content unsuitable for minors such as extreme violence or explicit sex and thus was for adults only.

When the MPAA film rating system began on November 1, 1968 in the U.S., the X-rating was given to a film by the MPAA if submitted to them or, due to its non-trademarked status, it could be self-applied to a film by a distributor who knew beforehand that their film contained content unsuitable for minors. In the late 1960s to mid 1980s, several mainstream films were released with an X-rating such as Midnight Cowboy, A Clockwork Orange, Fritz the Cat and Last Tango in Paris.

Because the X-rating was not trademarked, anybody could apply it to their films, including pornographers, which many began to do in the 1970s. As pornography began to become chic and more legally tolerated, pornographers placed an X-rating on their films to emphasize the adult nature of them. Some even started using multiple X's (i.e. XX, XXX, etc.) to give the impression that their film contained more graphic sexual content than the simple X-rating. In some cases, the X ratings were applied by reviewers or film scholars, e.g. William Rotsler, who wrote "The XXX-rating means hard-core, the XX-rating is for simulation, and an X-rating is for comparatively cool films." [2]Nothing beyond the simple X-rating has ever been officially recognized by the MPAA.

Because of the heavy use of the X-rating by pornographers, it became associated largely with pornographic films and thus non-pornographic films given a X-rating would have fewer theaters willing to book them and fewer avenues for advertising. This led to a number of films being released unrated sometimes with a warning that the film contained content for adults only. In response, the MPAA eventually agreed in 1990 to a new NC-17 rating that would be trademarked and could only be applied by the MPAA itself.

[Dave B]

WTF is the deal with the Avalanche? Best record in hockey (10-1-2, 22 pts.) and nine of their 13 games have been on the road! And Craig Anderson is their goalie? Shit.

[CT III]

WTF is the deal with the Avalanche? Best record in hockey (10-1-2, 22 pts.) and nine of their 13 games have been on the road! And Craig Anderson is their goalie? Shit.

Like I said: "Holy shit, they suck.  Just go back to Quebec already."

[Dave B]

I have Veterans' Day off and was thinking about making the drive up for the Avs at Hawks. Now I'm kind of scared.

[Slaky]

I have Veterans' Day off and was thinking about making the drive up for the Avs at Hawks. Now I'm kind of scared.

At least one of those three non-wins was handed to them by the beloved.

[CT III]

Eh, I'm going to assume that Anderson's .940 save percentage and sub-2.00 GAA is unsustainable.  Especially if they're going to play him in all 82 games this year.

[Tinker to Evers to Chance]

WTF is the deal with the Avalanche? Best record in hockey (10-1-2, 22 pts.) and nine of their 13 games have been on the road! And Craig Anderson is their goalie? Shit.

Like I said: "Holy shit, they suck.  Just go back to Quebec already."

I like to think that CT's assessment is the sole reason the Avalanche have done so well this year.

So thanks.