I admit it...

[Tonker]

Yes, let's hope Pen never actually gets how player comps work, because this is amusing

Guy: I think Bryant will be the best Cubs' third baseman since Santo, for sure.
Pen: What kind of asshole openly wishes for someone's legs to get amputated?

Guy: Soler reminds me a lot of Roberto Clemente

Pen: *tackles Soler before he can board his next flight*

Guy: That Addison Russell has a lot of Ryne Sandberg in him.
Pen: *Fucks Russell's future wife*

Did I do that right?

Actually had an old guy pull out Ken Hubbs on me a few weeks back when I was talking about the Cubs prospects. "He won ROTY and then he died in a plane crash. Can't put all your eggs into the prospect basket."

Because I guess plane crashes are just a thing Theo should factor into his five year plan.

And only RsOTY can die in plane crashes.

Marshall should have totally had a backup football team on standby.

WE ARE ALSO MARSHALL!

[Saul Goodman]

I just spent 15 minutes online looking to see if I could find out what number Kris' dad Mike wore when he played in the Red Sox system or in college.

I've got baseball cards and team pictures, but none that show the number.

I admit I've lost my mind.

I say either No. 8 or 25, since that's what Troy Glaus wore for most of his career.

He wore #23 at the University of San Diego, then #17 and #19 in the minors. We all know he probably won't wear #23; #17 is taken by the first base coach I think and #19 is Jonathan Harrera.

I'm pulling for #17 since that's my favorite jersey number; I wore it when I was a kid because of Mark Grace and having Bryant take it from faceless nameless first base coach would be ideal. You know, for me again. It's all about me.

Numbers 1-40 not assigned to active players or retired:
1 (Jones)
2 (Mallee)
4 (Martinez)
6
9 (Baez AAA)
12 (pending retirement, FYC)
15 (Denorfia DL)
16
17 (Hyde)
18 (Wada DL)
21 (Lake AAA)
22 (RIP Doubront)
25 (Bosio)
29 (RIP Samardzija)
32 (Beeler DL)
33
35 (Strode)
38 (Turner DL)
40

Place your bets now.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

I just spent 15 minutes online looking to see if I could find out what number Kris' dad Mike wore when he played in the Red Sox system or in college.

I've got baseball cards and team pictures, but none that show the number.

I admit I've lost my mind.

I say either No. 8 or 25, since that's what Troy Glaus wore for most of his career.

He wore #23 at the University of San Diego, then #17 and #19 in the minors. We all know he probably won't wear #23; #17 is taken by the first base coach I think and #19 is Jonathan Harrera.

I'm pulling for #17 since that's my favorite jersey number; I wore it when I was a kid because of Mark Grace and having Bryant take it from faceless nameless first base coach would be ideal. You know, for me again. It's all about me.

Numbers 1-40 not assigned to active players or retired:
1 (Jones)
2 (Mallee)
4 (Martinez)
6
9 (Baez AAA)
12 (pending retirement, FYC)
15 (Denorfia DL)
16
17 (Hyde)
18 (Wada DL)
21 (Lake AAA)
22 (RIP Doubront)
25 (Bosio)
29 (RIP Samardzija)
32 (Beeler DL)
33
35 (Strode)
38 (Turner DL)
40

Place your bets now.

We used to do POLLS around here, c'mon.

Put me down for 17.

[R-V]

...if the Cubs get swept by the Cardinals, I am looking forward to Eli having an EPIC MELTDOWN on the internet when Cubs twitter tells us all to relax, stay calm, control our emotions, and keep the long-term plan in mind since it's only 3 games.

[SKO]

...if the Cubs get swept by the Cardinals, I am looking forward to Eli having an EPIC MELTDOWN on the internet when Cubs twitter tells us all to relax, stay calm, control our emotions, and keep the long-term plan in mind since it's only 3 games.

Actually only two games, with the rainout.

[Powdered Toast Man]

I just spent 15 minutes online looking to see if I could find out what number Kris' dad Mike wore when he played in the Red Sox system or in college.

I've got baseball cards and team pictures, but none that show the number.

I admit I've lost my mind.

I say either No. 8 or 25, since that's what Troy Glaus wore for most of his career.

He wore #23 at the University of San Diego, then #17 and #19 in the minors. We all know he probably won't wear #23; #17 is taken by the first base coach I think and #19 is Jonathan Harrera.

I'm pulling for #17 since that's my favorite jersey number; I wore it when I was a kid because of Mark Grace and having Bryant take it from faceless nameless first base coach would be ideal. You know, for me again. It's all about me.

Numbers 1-40 not assigned to active players or retired:
1 (Jones)
2 (Mallee)
4 (Martinez)
6
9 (Baez AAA)
12 (pending retirement, FYC)
15 (Denorfia DL)
16
17 (Hyde)
18 (Wada DL)
21 (Lake AAA)
22 (RIP Doubront)
25 (Bosio)
29 (RIP Samardzija)
32 (Beeler DL)
33
35 (Strode)
38 (Turner DL)
40

Place your bets now.

We used to do POLLS around here, c'mon.

Put me down for 17.

#17 for me.

[Eli]

...if the Cubs get swept by the Cardinals, I am looking forward to Eli having an EPIC MELTDOWN on the internet when Cubs twitter tells us all to relax, stay calm, control our emotions, and keep the long-term plan in mind since it's only 3 games.

Actually only two games, with the rainout.

Yeah, this is kind of a non-starter. Sorry, RV.

Edit: Also, I think they'll win tonight if they get the game in, so THERE. Arrieta owns the Cardinals.

[R-V]

...if the Cubs get swept by the Cardinals, I am looking forward to Eli having an EPIC MELTDOWN on the internet when Cubs twitter tells us all to relax, stay calm, control our emotions, and keep the long-term plan in mind since it's only 3 games.

Actually only two games, with the rainout.

Yeah, this is kind of a non-starter. Sorry, RV.

Well I was bound to have a shitty post one of these years.

Anyway, I do agree with the point that taking the emotion out of being a sports fan is a bizarre concept. And I have been enjoying your Bleacher Nation subtweets. That's the whole all I was trying to get across.

[CBStew]

...going to the men's room at Wrigley has always been an experience.  And not in a good way.

[Eli]

Anyway, I do agree with the point that taking the emotion out of being a sports fan is a bizarre concept. And I have been enjoying your Bleacher Nation subtweets. That's the whole all I was trying to get across.

I'll try to keep it up, as long as someone finds it entertaining.

And yeah, that's my main point with all my Bleacher Nation subtweeting (which I'm sure he hasn't seen since he's currently on a not-following-me cycle, which has repeated itself no less than 11 times). No one likes a full-time meatball, but this whole "Based primarily on geography, we're rooting for an ever-changing group of people to whom we have no real personal connection -- let's try to be rational about it, OK?" thing is so self-serious. If someone gets pissed off about the team looking bad on Opening Day, it doesn't mean they're less of a fan than you are.

[SKO]

Anyway, I do agree with the point that taking the emotion out of being a sports fan is a bizarre concept. And I have been enjoying your Bleacher Nation subtweets. That's the whole all I was trying to get across.

I'll try to keep it up, as long as someone finds it entertaining.

And yeah, that's my main point with all my Bleacher Nation subtweeting (which I'm sure he hasn't seen since he's currently on a not-following-me cycle, which has repeated itself no less than 11 times). No one likes a full-time meatball, but this whole "Based primarily on geography, we're rooting for an ever-changing group of people to whom we have no real personal connection -- let's try to be rational about it, OK?" thing is so self-serious. If someone gets pissed off about the team looking bad on Opening Day, it doesn't mean they're less of a fan than you are.

I am really kind of reaching the point where I think Brett's just a much smarter Yellon. Maybe he doesn't whip out the banhammer but he gets extremely pissy and defensive if you disagree with him (anyone catch his exchange with Andy a while back when Andy made an Andy comment about Brett opining that "at some point, some injury will happen to the Cubs"? It was cringe worthy), and he does a lot of lecturing and stuff about how people should behave. It's irritating.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Anyway, I do agree with the point that taking the emotion out of being a sports fan is a bizarre concept. And I have been enjoying your Bleacher Nation subtweets. That's the whole all I was trying to get across.

I'll try to keep it up, as long as someone finds it entertaining.

And yeah, that's my main point with all my Bleacher Nation subtweeting (which I'm sure he hasn't seen since he's currently on a not-following-me cycle, which has repeated itself no less than 11 times). No one likes a full-time meatball, but this whole "Based primarily on geography, we're rooting for an ever-changing group of people to whom we have no real personal connection -- let's try to be rational about it, OK?" thing is so self-serious. If someone gets pissed off about the team looking bad on Opening Day, it doesn't mean they're less of a fan than you are.

I am really kind of reaching the point where I think Brett's just a much smarter Yellon. Maybe he doesn't whip out the banhammer but he gets extremely pissy and defensive if you disagree with him (anyone catch his exchange with Andy a while back when Andy made an Andy comment about Brett opining that "at some point, some injury will happen to the Cubs"? It was cringe worthy), and he does a lot of lecturing and stuff about how people should behave. It's irritating.

No, but I'd appreciate a link.

[SKO]

Anyway, I do agree with the point that taking the emotion out of being a sports fan is a bizarre concept. And I have been enjoying your Bleacher Nation subtweets. That's the whole all I was trying to get across.

I'll try to keep it up, as long as someone finds it entertaining.

And yeah, that's my main point with all my Bleacher Nation subtweeting (which I'm sure he hasn't seen since he's currently on a not-following-me cycle, which has repeated itself no less than 11 times). No one likes a full-time meatball, but this whole "Based primarily on geography, we're rooting for an ever-changing group of people to whom we have no real personal connection -- let's try to be rational about it, OK?" thing is so self-serious. If someone gets pissed off about the team looking bad on Opening Day, it doesn't mean they're less of a fan than you are.

I am really kind of reaching the point where I think Brett's just a much smarter Yellon. Maybe he doesn't whip out the banhammer but he gets extremely pissy and defensive if you disagree with him (anyone catch his exchange with Andy a while back when Andy made an Andy comment about Brett opining that "at some point, some injury will happen to the Cubs"? It was cringe worthy), and he does a lot of lecturing and stuff about how people should behave. It's irritating.

No, but I'd appreciate a link.

Start here: https://twitter.com/BleacherNation/status/571733555300212740 but be sure to read his subsequent butthurt tweets and not just his replies to Andy

[PenFoe]

Anyway, I do agree with the point that taking the emotion out of being a sports fan is a bizarre concept. And I have been enjoying your Bleacher Nation subtweets. That's the whole all I was trying to get across.

I'll try to keep it up, as long as someone finds it entertaining.

And yeah, that's my main point with all my Bleacher Nation subtweeting (which I'm sure he hasn't seen since he's currently on a not-following-me cycle, which has repeated itself no less than 11 times). No one likes a full-time meatball, but this whole "Based primarily on geography, we're rooting for an ever-changing group of people to whom we have no real personal connection -- let's try to be rational about it, OK?" thing is so self-serious. If someone gets pissed off about the team looking bad on Opening Day, it doesn't mean they're less of a fan than you are.

Sorry you're a dud, Eli.

[Yeti]

Anyway, I do agree with the point that taking the emotion out of being a sports fan is a bizarre concept. And I have been enjoying your Bleacher Nation subtweets. That's the whole all I was trying to get across.

I'll try to keep it up, as long as someone finds it entertaining.

And yeah, that's my main point with all my Bleacher Nation subtweeting (which I'm sure he hasn't seen since he's currently on a not-following-me cycle, which has repeated itself no less than 11 times). No one likes a full-time meatball, but this whole "Based primarily on geography, we're rooting for an ever-changing group of people to whom we have no real personal connection -- let's try to be rational about it, OK?" thing is so self-serious. If someone gets pissed off about the team looking bad on Opening Day, it doesn't mean they're less of a fan than you are.

I am really kind of reaching the point where I think Brett's just a much smarter Yellon. Maybe he doesn't whip out the banhammer but he gets extremely pissy and defensive if you disagree with him (anyone catch his exchange with Andy a while back when Andy made an Andy comment about Brett opining that "at some point, some injury will happen to the Cubs"? It was cringe worthy), and he does a lot of lecturing and stuff about how people should behave. It's irritating.

No, but I'd appreciate a link.

Start here: https://twitter.com/BleacherNation/status/571733555300212740 but be sure to read his subsequent butthurt tweets and not just his replies to Andy

All I got for that day is

Oh sorry. I didn't mean to rain on your profundity of the inevitable. @BleacherNation

@desipiodotcom You didn't rain, and I wasn't being profound. Hope that helps!

Comments from the day

Apparently I just jinxed a no-hitter by talking about it.

Meh. Some Cubs fans, right now, have a strange sense of invulnerability. Don't want them to explode when someone strains a calf.

Hey, Eli! You may be a dud! https://twitter.com/BleacherNation/status/571735457194745856 I don't feel like searching for the tweets of the deleted user, but:

I change my follows regularly to try and hear from new (possible) Cubs fans. Sometimes, that lands on duds.

EDIT: A proper FACE teaches one to look at the replies while you were posting