I admit it...

[Slaky]

...I kind of wish no one on the Cubs would wear 34 again after Kerry.

I know that's both stupid and meatball and I don't care.

I like when people say "I really like Kerry Wood" and the response is "he was actually not that good here are some stats."

Go fuck yourself.

He really had an interesting career, which contained 2 iconic moments-- the 20 K game in '98 and becoming the first pitcher since Orville Overall in 1908 to win the deciding game of a postseason series.

He also walked the immortal Brian Banks to lead off the 5th inning of Game 7 after his team went and got the lead for him (after he originally shit the tub in the 1st inning) which paved the way for the end.  I wouldn't be me if I didn't hang on to the particular strain of butthurt.

On balance I loved the guy.  However, people seriously getting upset that someone else wears his number?  Bitch, please.  Stop being such Cubbie fans.

I don't care that someone's wearing his number. Someone mentioned it would be kind of neat if the de facto ace always wore 34 as a tradition or something. Not that it'll happen.

Anyway I loved and still love Kerry Wood so eat shit.

[PenFoe]

Anyway I loved and still love Kerry Wood so eat shit.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

...I kind of wish no one on the Cubs would wear 34 again after Kerry.

I know that's both stupid and meatball and I don't care.

I like when people say "I really like Kerry Wood" and the response is "he was actually not that good here are some stats."

Go fuck yourself.

He really had an interesting career, which contained 2 iconic moments-- the 20 K game in '98 and becoming the first pitcher since Orville Overall in 1908 to win the deciding game of a postseason series.

He also walked the immortal Brian Banks to lead off the 5th inning of Game 7 after his team went and got the lead for him (after he originally shit the tub in the 1st inning) which paved the way for the end.  I wouldn't be me if I didn't hang on to the particular strain of butthurt.

On balance I loved the guy.  However, people seriously getting upset that someone else wears his number?  Bitch, please.  Stop being such Cubbie fans.

I don't care that someone's wearing his number. Someone mentioned it would be kind of neat if the de facto ace always wore 34 as a tradition or something. Not that it'll happen.

Anyway I loved and still love Kerry Wood so eat shit.

I'd rather eat shit than wrap myself up in that idiotic idea.  

[Slaky]

...I kind of wish no one on the Cubs would wear 34 again after Kerry.

I know that's both stupid and meatball and I don't care.

I like when people say "I really like Kerry Wood" and the response is "he was actually not that good here are some stats."

Go fuck yourself.

He really had an interesting career, which contained 2 iconic moments-- the 20 K game in '98 and becoming the first pitcher since Orville Overall in 1908 to win the deciding game of a postseason series.

He also walked the immortal Brian Banks to lead off the 5th inning of Game 7 after his team went and got the lead for him (after he originally shit the tub in the 1st inning) which paved the way for the end.  I wouldn't be me if I didn't hang on to the particular strain of butthurt.

On balance I loved the guy.  However, people seriously getting upset that someone else wears his number?  Bitch, please.  Stop being such Cubbie fans.

I don't care that someone's wearing his number. Someone mentioned it would be kind of neat if the de facto ace always wore 34 as a tradition or something. Not that it'll happen.

Anyway I loved and still love Kerry Wood so eat shit.

I'd rather eat shit than wrap myself up in that idiotic idea.  

You are a riddle wrapped in an enigma.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

...I kind of wish no one on the Cubs would wear 34 again after Kerry.

I know that's both stupid and meatball and I don't care.

I like when people say "I really like Kerry Wood" and the response is "he was actually not that good here are some stats."

Go fuck yourself.

He really had an interesting career, which contained 2 iconic moments-- the 20 K game in '98 and becoming the first pitcher since Orville Overall in 1908 to win the deciding game of a postseason series.

He also walked the immortal Brian Banks to lead off the 5th inning of Game 7 after his team went and got the lead for him (after he originally shit the tub in the 1st inning) which paved the way for the end.  I wouldn't be me if I didn't hang on to the particular strain of butthurt.

On balance I loved the guy.  However, people seriously getting upset that someone else wears his number?  Bitch, please.  Stop being such Cubbie fans.

I don't care that someone's wearing his number. Someone mentioned it would be kind of neat if the de facto ace always wore 34 as a tradition or something. Not that it'll happen.

Anyway I loved and still love Kerry Wood so eat shit.

I'd rather eat shit than wrap myself up in that idiotic idea.  

You are a riddle wrapped in an enigma.

Nah, I think maybe I just have an unhealthy aversion to nostalgia.

[Bort]

Anyway I loved and still love Kerry Wood so eat shit.

[Quality Start Machine]

...I kind of wish no one on the Cubs would wear 34 again after Kerry.

I know that's both stupid and meatball and I don't care.

I like when people say "I really like Kerry Wood" and the response is "he was actually not that good here are some stats."

Go fuck yourself.

He really had an interesting career, which contained 2 iconic moments-- the 20 K game in '98 and becoming the first pitcher since Orville Overall in 1908 to win the deciding game of a postseason series.

He also walked the immortal Brian Banks to lead off the 5th inning of Game 7 after his team went and got the lead for him (after he originally shit the tub in the 1st inning) which paved the way for the end.  I wouldn't be me if I didn't hang on to the particular strain of butthurt.

On balance I loved the guy.  However, people seriously getting upset that someone else wears his number?  Bitch, please.  Stop being such Cubbie fans.

I don't care that someone's wearing his number. Someone mentioned it would be kind of neat if the de facto ace always wore 34 as a tradition or something. Not that it'll happen.

Anyway I loved and still love Kerry Wood so eat shit.

I'd rather eat shit than wrap myself up in that idiotic idea.  

You are a riddle wrapped in an enigma.

Nah, I think maybe I just have an unhealthy aversion to nostalgia.

(waits for Huey's next mention of some 80-years-ago Chicago shit)

[Eli]

...I kind of wish no one on the Cubs would wear 34 again after Kerry.

I know that's both stupid and meatball and I don't care.

I like when people say "I really like Kerry Wood" and the response is "he was actually not that good here are some stats."

Go fuck yourself.

He really had an interesting career, which contained 2 iconic moments-- the 20 K game in '98 and becoming the first pitcher since Orville Overall in 1908 to win the deciding game of a postseason series.

He also walked the immortal Brian Banks to lead off the 5th inning of Game 7 after his team went and got the lead for him (after he originally shit the tub in the 1st inning) which paved the way for the end.  I wouldn't be me if I didn't hang on to the particular strain of butthurt.

On balance I loved the guy.  However, people seriously getting upset that someone else wears his number?  Bitch, please.  Stop being such Cubbie fans.

I don't care that someone's wearing his number. Someone mentioned it would be kind of neat if the de facto ace always wore 34 as a tradition or something. Not that it'll happen.

Anyway I loved and still love Kerry Wood so eat shit.

I'd rather eat shit than wrap myself up in that idiotic idea.  

You are a riddle wrapped in an enigma.

Nah, I think maybe I just have an unhealthy aversion to nostalgia.

(waits for Huey's next mention of some 80-years-ago Chicago shit)

Exactly.

[ChuckD]

...I kind of wish no one on the Cubs would wear 34 again after Kerry.

I know that's both stupid and meatball and I don't care.

I like when people say "I really like Kerry Wood" and the response is "he was actually not that good here are some stats."

Go fuck yourself.

He really had an interesting career, which contained 2 iconic moments-- the 20 K game in '98 and becoming the first pitcher since Orville Overall in 1908 to win the deciding game of a postseason series.

He also walked the immortal Brian Banks to lead off the 5th inning of Game 7 after his team went and got the lead for him (after he originally shit the tub in the 1st inning) which paved the way for the end.  I wouldn't be me if I didn't hang on to the particular strain of butthurt.

On balance I loved the guy.  However, people seriously getting upset that someone else wears his number?  Bitch, please.  Stop being such Cubbie fans.

I don't care that someone's wearing his number. Someone mentioned it would be kind of neat if the de facto ace always wore 34 as a tradition or something. Not that it'll happen.

Anyway I loved and still love Kerry Wood so eat shit.

That's all good and well during these salad days.

But think about 10 years from now. After the prophecies of Waterworld prove true and Wrigley's under 2 feet of water and we're all floating around on sailyboatblimps and fighting off the murderous sailyboatblimp raiders. After all the baseball pitchers developed arm cancer from those cheap Chinese-grown elbow ligaments and Congress outlawed the breaking ball and then baseball altogether as a result.

You're sitting around watching the pirate broadcast of a Cubs game played in some undisclosed location deep beneath the surface. The Cubs are trotting out a cyborg cobbled together out of the reanimated carcasses of Steve Trachsel and Willie Banks and on the back of his silver spandex Cubs uniform is a 34 because that bucket of parts is the best they could manage.

All that 34 tradition nonsense is going to do is make you realize how much better your life would be if they had a legitimate ace.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

...I kind of wish no one on the Cubs would wear 34 again after Kerry.

I know that's both stupid and meatball and I don't care.

I like when people say "I really like Kerry Wood" and the response is "he was actually not that good here are some stats."

Go fuck yourself.

He really had an interesting career, which contained 2 iconic moments-- the 20 K game in '98 and becoming the first pitcher since Orville Overall in 1908 to win the deciding game of a postseason series.

He also walked the immortal Brian Banks to lead off the 5th inning of Game 7 after his team went and got the lead for him (after he originally shit the tub in the 1st inning) which paved the way for the end.  I wouldn't be me if I didn't hang on to the particular strain of butthurt.

On balance I loved the guy.  However, people seriously getting upset that someone else wears his number?  Bitch, please.  Stop being such Cubbie fans.

I don't care that someone's wearing his number. Someone mentioned it would be kind of neat if the de facto ace always wore 34 as a tradition or something. Not that it'll happen.

Anyway I loved and still love Kerry Wood so eat shit.

I'd rather eat shit than wrap myself up in that idiotic idea.  

You are a riddle wrapped in an enigma.

Nah, I think maybe I just have an unhealthy aversion to nostalgia.

(waits for Huey's next mention of some 80-years-ago Chicago shit)

I'm nostalgic for the '84 Cubs.  My favorite players were Leon Durham, Jody Davis, and Keith Moreland.  But I could give two shits about anyone wearing their goddamn uniform number.

Well except Durham's.  Nobody gets to wear Bull's number because it's already retired.

[Quality Start Machine]

...I kind of wish no one on the Cubs would wear 34 again after Kerry.

I know that's both stupid and meatball and I don't care.

I like when people say "I really like Kerry Wood" and the response is "he was actually not that good here are some stats."

Go fuck yourself.

He really had an interesting career, which contained 2 iconic moments-- the 20 K game in '98 and becoming the first pitcher since Orville Overall in 1908 to win the deciding game of a postseason series.

He also walked the immortal Brian Banks to lead off the 5th inning of Game 7 after his team went and got the lead for him (after he originally shit the tub in the 1st inning) which paved the way for the end.  I wouldn't be me if I didn't hang on to the particular strain of butthurt.

On balance I loved the guy.  However, people seriously getting upset that someone else wears his number?  Bitch, please.  Stop being such Cubbie fans.

I don't care that someone's wearing his number. Someone mentioned it would be kind of neat if the de facto ace always wore 34 as a tradition or something. Not that it'll happen.

Anyway I loved and still love Kerry Wood so eat shit.

I'd rather eat shit than wrap myself up in that idiotic idea.  

You are a riddle wrapped in an enigma.

Nah, I think maybe I just have an unhealthy aversion to nostalgia.

(waits for Huey's next mention of some 80-years-ago Chicago shit)

I'm nostalgic for the '84 Cubs.  My favorite players were Leon Durham, Jody Davis, and Keith Moreland.  But I could give two shits about anyone wearing their goddamn uniform number.

Well except Durham's.  Nobody gets to wear Bull's number because it's already retired.

Bull wearing 10 was fitting, since it looked like a rail next to a pile of blow.

[Wheezer]

... Judy Gross is pretty hot.

[Tonker]

Anyway I loved and still love Kerry Wood so eat shit.

[Quality Start Machine]

Anyway I loved and still love Kerry Wood so eat shit.

[InternetApex]

Can I continue to love Kerry Wood and still hate the dumb-as-balls "ACE WARES TURTYFOUR" idea? As someone still asshurt that they retired Greg Maddux's 31, I find that notion appalling.