I admit it...

[Tony]

So SKO has a heavily pregnant wife, a fucking cat, and is surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit and we're wondering why he's channeled so much anger into each Cub result?

I'm no rocket surgeon but case fuckin closed I get it man. I get it.

Is the "surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit" part supposed to make things better or worse? Because it sounds nice to me.

It depends on what you're allowed to do with the drunk, bisexual, randy sorority sisters* wearing skimpy shit.  It sounds like SKO isn't even supposed to look at them, which is less nice.

*This hasn't been specifically mentioned, but in my head, it's the truth.

He should look at them. He should encourage his cat to run into their rooms all the time.

[SKO]

So SKO has a heavily pregnant wife, a fucking cat, and is surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit and we're wondering why he's channeled so much anger into each Cub result?

I'm no rocket surgeon but case fuckin closed I get it man. I get it.

Is the "surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit" part supposed to make things better or worse? Because it sounds nice to me.

It depends on what you're allowed to do with the drunk, bisexual, randy sorority sisters* wearing skimpy shit.  It sounds like SKO isn't even supposed to look at them, which is less nice.

*This hasn't been specifically mentioned, but in my head, it's the truth.

He should look at them. He should encourage his cat to run into their rooms all the time.

I'm not really fucking quick to cut him off at the pass, no.

[InternetApex]

So SKO has a heavily pregnant wife, a fucking cat, and is surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit and we're wondering why he's channeled so much anger into each Cub result?

I'm no rocket surgeon but case fuckin closed I get it man. I get it.

Is the "surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit" part supposed to make things better or worse? Because it sounds nice to me.

It depends on what you're allowed to do with the drunk, bisexual, randy sorority sisters* wearing skimpy shit.  It sounds like SKO isn't even supposed to look at them, which is less nice.

*This hasn't been specifically mentioned, but in my head, it's the truth.

He should look at them. He should encourage his cat to run into their rooms all the time.

I'm not really fucking quick to cut him off at the pass, no.

I would have problems. The Asian chick in her underwear handing my animal to me would, if discovered, result in jealousy issues that would reverberate in every aspect of my home life. If my girl were pregnant on top of that? I'd do worse than scream about the Cubs all day. I'd probably break my dick in the shower every day and become so tense that nobody could stand to be around me. You go ahead and flame on, bro. Good luck with all that.

[Slaky]

So SKO has a heavily pregnant wife, a fucking cat, and is surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit and we're wondering why he's channeled so much anger into each Cub result?

I'm no rocket surgeon but case fuckin closed I get it man. I get it.

Is the "surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit" part supposed to make things better or worse? Because it sounds nice to me.

It depends on what you're allowed to do with the drunk, bisexual, randy sorority sisters* wearing skimpy shit.  It sounds like SKO isn't even supposed to look at them, which is less nice.

*This hasn't been specifically mentioned, but in my head, it's the truth.

Tonk is right. Looking only goes so far. Looking might actually make it worse and where the fuck can you quietly pound off in a dorm? The stall? What if they don't get LTE in there? It's a fucking disaster.

Everything SKO says is going to be viewed through the lens of tolerance from now on. He's living a fucking Twilight Zone episode.

[InternetApex]

So SKO has a heavily pregnant wife, a fucking cat, and is surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit and we're wondering why he's channeled so much anger into each Cub result?

I'm no rocket surgeon but case fuckin closed I get it man. I get it.

Is the "surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit" part supposed to make things better or worse? Because it sounds nice to me.

It depends on what you're allowed to do with the drunk, bisexual, randy sorority sisters* wearing skimpy shit.  It sounds like SKO isn't even supposed to look at them, which is less nice.

*This hasn't been specifically mentioned, but in my head, it's the truth.

Tonk is right. Looking only goes so far. Looking might actually make it worse and where the fuck can you quietly pound off in a dorm? The stall? What if they don't get LTE in there? It's a fucking disaster.

Everything SKO says is going to be viewed through the lens of tolerance from now on. He's living a fucking Twilight Zone episode.

Living vicariously through SKO right now would be like catching the worst movie you could watch on Showtime late at night. One you aren't sure is a porno or not. But you suspect it might be, because, chicks are in their underwear and how could anything else be this awful. But right when you think there's gonna be tits and secks noises, there's just a cat and a Cubs game and a computer and Edwin Jackson.

Hell, even I have blue balls now.

[SKO]

So SKO has a heavily pregnant wife, a fucking cat, and is surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit and we're wondering why he's channeled so much anger into each Cub result?

I'm no rocket surgeon but case fuckin closed I get it man. I get it.

Is the "surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit" part supposed to make things better or worse? Because it sounds nice to me.

It depends on what you're allowed to do with the drunk, bisexual, randy sorority sisters* wearing skimpy shit.  It sounds like SKO isn't even supposed to look at them, which is less nice.

*This hasn't been specifically mentioned, but in my head, it's the truth.

Tonk is right. Looking only goes so far. Looking might actually make it worse and where the fuck can you quietly pound off in a dorm? The stall? What if they don't get LTE in there? It's a fucking disaster.

Everything SKO says is going to be viewed through the lens of tolerance from now on. He's living a fucking Twilight Zone episode.

To clarify, the dorm bit is a slight meme. We live in a student apartment complex, we have our own bathroom what for the pounding off and stuff.

The rest of this is all depressingly accurate.

[Slaky]

So SKO has a heavily pregnant wife, a fucking cat, and is surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit and we're wondering why he's channeled so much anger into each Cub result?

I'm no rocket surgeon but case fuckin closed I get it man. I get it.

Is the "surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit" part supposed to make things better or worse? Because it sounds nice to me.

It depends on what you're allowed to do with the drunk, bisexual, randy sorority sisters* wearing skimpy shit.  It sounds like SKO isn't even supposed to look at them, which is less nice.

*This hasn't been specifically mentioned, but in my head, it's the truth.

Tonk is right. Looking only goes so far. Looking might actually make it worse and where the fuck can you quietly pound off in a dorm? The stall? What if they don't get LTE in there? It's a fucking disaster.

Everything SKO says is going to be viewed through the lens of tolerance from now on. He's living a fucking Twilight Zone episode.

Living vicariously through SKO right now would be like catching the worst movie you could watch on Showtime late at night. One you aren't sure is a porno or not. But you suspect it might be, because, chicks are in their underwear and how could anything else be this awful. But right when you think there's gonna be tits and secks noises, there's just a cat and a Cubs game and a computer and Edwin Jackson.

Hell, even I have blue balls now.

My bullshit worthless dick is hating every minute of knowing what SKO's life has become. This is a tragedy.

[Tony]

So SKO has a heavily pregnant wife, a fucking cat, and is surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit and we're wondering why he's channeled so much anger into each Cub result?

I'm no rocket surgeon but case fuckin closed I get it man. I get it.

Is the "surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit" part supposed to make things better or worse? Because it sounds nice to me.

It depends on what you're allowed to do with the drunk, bisexual, randy sorority sisters* wearing skimpy shit.  It sounds like SKO isn't even supposed to look at them, which is less nice.

*This hasn't been specifically mentioned, but in my head, it's the truth.

Tonk is right. Looking only goes so far. Looking might actually make it worse and where the fuck can you quietly pound off in a dorm? The stall? What if they don't get LTE in there? It's a fucking disaster.

Everything SKO says is going to be viewed through the lens of tolerance from now on. He's living a fucking Twilight Zone episode.

Living vicariously through SKO right now would be like catching the worst movie you could watch on Showtime late at night. One you aren't sure is a porno or not. But you suspect it might be, because, chicks are in their underwear and how could anything else be this awful. But right when you think there's gonna be tits and secks noises, there's just a cat and a Cubs game and a computer and Edwin Jackson.

Hell, even I have blue balls now.

My bullshit worthless dick is hating every minute of knowing what SKO's life has become. This is a tragedy.

Well if SKO can't find time to pound off in his bathroom now, he sure is hell ain't going to have time after the kid arrives. I suggest you enjoy your freedom now.

[flannj]

So SKO has a heavily pregnant wife, a fucking cat, and is surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit and we're wondering why he's channeled so much anger into each Cub result?

I'm no rocket surgeon but case fuckin closed I get it man. I get it.

Is the "surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit" part supposed to make things better or worse? Because it sounds nice to me.

It depends on what you're allowed to do with the drunk, bisexual, randy sorority sisters* wearing skimpy shit.  It sounds like SKO isn't even supposed to look at them, which is less nice.

*This hasn't been specifically mentioned, but in my head, it's the truth.

Frankly my wife doesn't really care if I look at them, I just can't help but feel like a creepy old man living in a college dorm when I do. Probably because I'm a creepy old man living in a college dorm.

Do you know if you're having a boy or a girl?
Because if it's a girl just wait 21 years and the creepy old man feeling goes through the roof.
I haven't looked directly at a female that's under thirty for a long time.

[Slaky]

So SKO has a heavily pregnant wife, a fucking cat, and is surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit and we're wondering why he's channeled so much anger into each Cub result?

I'm no rocket surgeon but case fuckin closed I get it man. I get it.

Is the "surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit" part supposed to make things better or worse? Because it sounds nice to me.

It depends on what you're allowed to do with the drunk, bisexual, randy sorority sisters* wearing skimpy shit.  It sounds like SKO isn't even supposed to look at them, which is less nice.

*This hasn't been specifically mentioned, but in my head, it's the truth.

Frankly my wife doesn't really care if I look at them, I just can't help but feel like a creepy old man living in a college dorm when I do. Probably because I'm a creepy old man living in a college dorm.

Do you know if you're having a boy or a girl?
Because if it's a girl just wait 21 years and the creepy old man feeling goes through the roof.
I haven't looked directly at a female that's under thirty for a long time.

Shit

[Eli]

So SKO has a heavily pregnant wife, a fucking cat, and is surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit and we're wondering why he's channeled so much anger into each Cub result?

I'm no rocket surgeon but case fuckin closed I get it man. I get it.

Is the "surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit" part supposed to make things better or worse? Because it sounds nice to me.

It depends on what you're allowed to do with the drunk, bisexual, randy sorority sisters* wearing skimpy shit.  It sounds like SKO isn't even supposed to look at them, which is less nice.

*This hasn't been specifically mentioned, but in my head, it's the truth.

Frankly my wife doesn't really care if I look at them, I just can't help but feel like a creepy old man living in a college dorm when I do. Probably because I'm a creepy old man living in a college dorm.

Do you know if you're having a boy or a girl?
Because if it's a girl just wait 21 years and the creepy old man feeling goes through the roof.
I haven't looked directly at a female that's under thirty for a long time.

Shit

I'm probably going to lift shirtless in the garage with the door open and then ask my daughter's friends if they want to go for a run with me.

[flannj]

So SKO has a heavily pregnant wife, a fucking cat, and is surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit and we're wondering why he's channeled so much anger into each Cub result?

I'm no rocket surgeon but case fuckin closed I get it man. I get it.

Is the "surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit" part supposed to make things better or worse? Because it sounds nice to me.

It depends on what you're allowed to do with the drunk, bisexual, randy sorority sisters* wearing skimpy shit.  It sounds like SKO isn't even supposed to look at them, which is less nice.

*This hasn't been specifically mentioned, but in my head, it's the truth.

Frankly my wife doesn't really care if I look at them, I just can't help but feel like a creepy old man living in a college dorm when I do. Probably because I'm a creepy old man living in a college dorm.

Do you know if you're having a boy or a girl?
Because if it's a girl just wait 21 years and the creepy old man feeling goes through the roof.
I haven't looked directly at a female that's under thirty for a long time.

Shit

I'm probably going to lift shirtless in the garage with the door open and then ask my daughter's friends if they want to go for a run with me.

Thank God that movie came out in 1999 because I'm creeped out as hell even thinking about it now.

[Eli]

So SKO has a heavily pregnant wife, a fucking cat, and is surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit and we're wondering why he's channeled so much anger into each Cub result?

I'm no rocket surgeon but case fuckin closed I get it man. I get it.

Is the "surrounded by young girls wearing skimpy shit" part supposed to make things better or worse? Because it sounds nice to me.

It depends on what you're allowed to do with the drunk, bisexual, randy sorority sisters* wearing skimpy shit.  It sounds like SKO isn't even supposed to look at them, which is less nice.

*This hasn't been specifically mentioned, but in my head, it's the truth.

Frankly my wife doesn't really care if I look at them, I just can't help but feel like a creepy old man living in a college dorm when I do. Probably because I'm a creepy old man living in a college dorm.

Do you know if you're having a boy or a girl?
Because if it's a girl just wait 21 years and the creepy old man feeling goes through the roof.
I haven't looked directly at a female that's under thirty for a long time.

Shit

I'm probably going to lift shirtless in the garage with the door open and then ask my daughter's friends if they want to go for a run with me.

Thank God that movie came out in 1999 because I'm creeped out as hell even thinking about it now.

Yes. Movie. I definitely got that idea from a movie.

[Tonker]

Eli made me LOL, loudly.

Do you think SKO understands that a daughter would mean he can't watch pr0n any more, either, because... well, they're all someone's daughter?

[SKO]

Eli made me LOL, loudly.

Do you think SKO understands that a daughter would mean he can't watch pr0n any more, either, because... well, they're all someone's daughter?

Yeah we're having a boy so I'm safe for a while.