I admit it...

[Quality Start Machine]

I've told this before but Troy Glaus was very annoyed I didn't recognize Troy Glaus.

That's still one of my favorites.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

It's a secondhand story, but any of you guys who have played softball for Cody's would know this guy (Pappas), who played on a competitive softball team for Leo Burnett in the mid-90's--so competitive in fact that they traveled down to Arizona to play in a tournament.  While there, they were out at the bar and ran into Darrell Evans.  Evans--at this point out of the game close to a decade-- was apparently rather happy to be recognized by this group of 20-something guys....until Pappas said, "Remember when you got picked off third base in the playoffs against the Twins?".  He was referring to a back-breaking  gaffe committed by Evans that killed Detroit's momentum in the LCS in 1987 and as soon as it was mentioned Evans' mood changed and he disengaged from the group.

A few days later they saw him again and this time multiple guys brought it up again and Evans apparently lost his shit.  

An asshole move by a bunch of drunk 20-something smart asses, sure, but it still makes me laugh.

[PenFoe]

I've told this before but Troy Glaus was very annoyed I didn't recognize Troy Glaus.

Kris Bryant would never pull that shit.

[Quality Start Machine]

It's a secondhand story, but any of you guys who have played softball for Cody's would know this guy (Pappas), who played on a competitive softball team for Leo Burnett in the mid-90's--so competitive in fact that they traveled down to Arizona to play in a tournament.  While there, they were out at the bar and ran into Darrell Evans.  Evans--at this point out of the game close to a decade-- was apparently rather happy to be recognized by this group of 20-something guys....until Pappas said, "Remember when you got picked off third base in the playoffs against the Twins?".  He was referring to a back-breaking  gaffe committed by Evans that killed Detroit's momentum in the LCS in 1987 and as soon as it was mentioned Evans' mood changed and he disengaged from the group.

A few days later they saw him again and this time multiple guys brought it up again and Evans apparently lost his shit.  

An asshole move by a bunch of drunk 20-something smart asses, sure, but it still makes me laugh.

Speaking of Pappas...you going to get Milt into a Huard-sized fit of rage this weekend?

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

It's a secondhand story, but any of you guys who have played softball for Cody's would know this guy (Pappas), who played on a competitive softball team for Leo Burnett in the mid-90's--so competitive in fact that they traveled down to Arizona to play in a tournament.  While there, they were out at the bar and ran into Darrell Evans.  Evans--at this point out of the game close to a decade-- was apparently rather happy to be recognized by this group of 20-something guys....until Pappas said, "Remember when you got picked off third base in the playoffs against the Twins?".  He was referring to a back-breaking  gaffe committed by Evans that killed Detroit's momentum in the LCS in 1987 and as soon as it was mentioned Evans' mood changed and he disengaged from the group.

A few days later they saw him again and this time multiple guys brought it up again and Evans apparently lost his shit.  

An asshole move by a bunch of drunk 20-something smart asses, sure, but it still makes me laugh.

Speaking of Pappas...you going to get Milt into a Huard-sized fit of rage this weekend?

No sir--not only is that too easy (something something fish in a barrel) but I've already done it before.  

Also I will not be attending the festivities in any event.

[CT III]

Tom Thayer once handed me some sandwiches.  We talked about Illini football for like 12 seconds.  He likes Ron Turner (or did then).

[Quality Start Machine]

Spice Adams hugged my wife out of sympathy when he found out she's allergic to something in bacon.

[CBStew]

I've told this before but Troy Glaus was very annoyed I didn't recognize Troy Glaus.

Who's he?

[CBStew]

Spice Adams hugged my wife out of sympathy when he found out she's allergic to something in bacon.

Who's he?

[InternetApex]

Spice Adams hugged my wife out of sympathy when he found out she's allergic to something in bacon.

Who's he?

A big fat guy who used to play defensive line for the Bears. He's on TV here now.

[CBStew]

Spice Adams hugged my wife out of sympathy when he found out she's allergic to something in bacon.

Who's he?

A big fat guy who used to play defensive line for the Bears. He's on TV here now.

Thank you for not taking me seriously about Troy Glaus.  But seriously, who is Troy Glaus?

[Saul Goodman]

Spice Adams hugged my wife out of sympathy when he found out she's allergic to something in bacon.

Who's he?

A big fat guy who used to play defensive line for the Bears. He's on TV here now.

Thank you for not taking me seriously about Troy Glaus.  But seriously, who is Troy Glaus?

He's what Kris Bryant should have been.

[CT III]

Spice Adams hugged my wife out of sympathy when he found out she's allergic to something in bacon.

Who's he?

A big fat guy who used to play defensive line for the Bears. He's on TV here now.

Which must outrage Huey to no end.

[flannj]

...if the Cubs officially make Ryne Sandberg a Cubs Ambassador, I really want to rent out a suite for a game for Desipiots. Just because I'd love to see how disgusted he'd be at having to glad-hand us.

My guess is he'd neither know nor care who we are.

He'd probably be mostly annoyed at me acting like a dumber, and possibly fatter, Chris Farley when talking to my childhood hero.

"Remember that game where you hit those home runs? That was awesome."

I was once handed a telephone, without warning, on the other end of which was Matt Le Tissier - who for fans of Southampton FC is like Ryno, Santo and Kerry Wood all rolled into one.  Helpfully, I told him his name - "You're Matt Le Tiss!" - and then found myself completely stumped for words.  After a moment or two of excruciating silence, my mate took pity on me, removed the phone from my hand, had a brief and very pleasant chat ("Your mate doesn't say much, does he?") with MLT, and hung up.

I've since had to get my arse-cheeks surgically unclenched.

Same thing happened to me when I first met Ernie Banks, but then that dude just did all of the talking for me. The ball I had him sign was already signed by Fergie Jenkins and I was able to spit out "yes" when he asked if that was Fergie's signature, and then he just started talking to me about Fergie until I was able to talk like a real human being. If I met Sandberg there's no fucking way I'd tease him about corncob dresses or the Phillies. Fuck that. I'd just want him to sign the goddamn baseball, and then I'd tell everyone about my best friend Ryne Sandberg.

I was star struck when I met Doug Dascenzo at a Cubs Caravan once. I mumbled something stupid and he looked at me like I was an idiot while signing his autograph. I can't imagine how bad I'd be if I met a good player.

I was once taking a piss at Baja Beach Club and realized Calvin Schiraldi was pissing next to me.

And he wasn't even standing on a mound.

I once pissed next to Mark Grace at a bar in Scottsdale. I really wanted to sing "Me and my RC" but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Harry Caray came stumbling out of the head of his restaurant and damn near fell into me and my friend Wolfie with a "Hey, fellas, how ya doin?" Shook his hand, which I'm pretty sure hadn't been washed. Bought him a beer in his own place, got a half hour of Stan Musial stories.

It fucking ruled.

I have no idea what year it was but Mrs. flannj and I ran into Harry at Wrigley after a game. He was on his way down from the booth and we met on one of the ramps. He zeroed in on Mrs. flannj and gave her a "How ya doin honey?" proceeded to hug her, planted a big smooch on her lips while patting her on the ass and all the while chortling away in that Harry style.

I laughed my ass off and Mrs. flannj thought it was awesome.

[ChuckD]

Spice Adams hugged my wife out of sympathy when he found out she's allergic to something in bacon.

Who's he?

A big fat guy who used to play defensive line for the Bears. He's on TV here now.

Thank you for not taking me seriously about Troy Glaus.  But seriously, who is Troy Glaus?

He's what Kris Bryant should have been.

Good point. We should trade Bryant so we don't have to watch Candelario go elsewhere.