I admit it...

[Quality Start Machine]

...if the Cubs officially make Ryne Sandberg a Cubs Ambassador, I really want to rent out a suite for a game for Desipiots. Just because I'd love to see how disgusted he'd be at having to glad-hand us.

My guess is he'd neither know nor care who we are.

He'd probably be mostly annoyed at me acting like a dumber, and possibly fatter, Chris Farley when talking to my childhood hero.

"Remember that game where you hit those home runs? That was awesome."

I was once handed a telephone, without warning, on the other end of which was Matt Le Tissier - who for fans of Southampton FC is like Ryno, Santo and Kerry Wood all rolled into one.  Helpfully, I told him his name - "You're Matt Le Tiss!" - and then found myself completely stumped for words.  After a moment or two of excruciating silence, my mate took pity on me, removed the phone from my hand, had a brief and very pleasant chat ("Your mate doesn't say much, does he?") with MLT, and hung up.

I've since had to get my arse-cheeks surgically unclenched.

Same thing happened to me when I first met Ernie Banks, but then that dude just did all of the talking for me. The ball I had him sign was already signed by Fergie Jenkins and I was able to spit out "yes" when he asked if that was Fergie's signature, and then he just started talking to me about Fergie until I was able to talk like a real human being. If I met Sandberg there's no fucking way I'd tease him about corncob dresses or the Phillies. Fuck that. I'd just want him to sign the goddamn baseball, and then I'd tell everyone about my best friend Ryne Sandberg.

I was star struck when I met Doug Dascenzo at a Cubs Caravan once. I mumbled something stupid and he looked at me like I was an idiot while signing his autograph. I can't imagine how bad I'd be if I met a good player.

I was once taking a piss at Baja Beach Club and realized Calvin Schiraldi was pissing next to me.

And he wasn't even standing on a mound.

I once pissed next to Mark Grace at a bar in Scottsdale. I really wanted to sing "Me and my RC" but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Harry Caray came stumbling out of the head of his restaurant and damn near fell into me and my friend Wolfie with a "Hey, fellas, how ya doin?" Shook his hand, which I'm pretty sure hadn't been washed. Bought him a beer in his own place, got a half hour of Stan Musial stories.

It fucking ruled.

I have no idea what year it was but Mrs. flannj and I ran into Harry at Wrigley after a game. He was on his way down from the booth and we met on one of the ramps. He zeroed in on Mrs. flannj and gave her a "How ya doin honey?" proceeded to hug her, planted a big smooch on her lips while patting her on the ass and all the while chortling away in that Harry style.

I laughed my ass off and Mrs. flannj thought it was awesome.

If Dwyer were still alive he could tell us the Grimace story again.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

I have no problem voting for Hillary Clinton for President.

[PenFoe]

I have no problem voting for Hillary Clinton for President.

Because of your support for her or because of who you'd be voting against?

[Oleg]

I have no problem voting for Hillary Clinton for President.

Because of your support for her or because of who you'd be voting against?

I, for one, don't think she's so bad.  Not perfect but I can definitely come up with reasons to vote for her instead of against the GOP.  Not that I need much to vote against the GOP.

[Oleg]

I once met Bob Mould and couldn't even muster a "Hello".  I was seriously star struck.  Pretty much the only time that's ever happened.

[PenFoe]

I have no problem voting for Hillary Clinton for President.

Because of your support for her or because of who you'd be voting against?

I, for one, don't think she's so bad.  Not perfect but I can definitely come up with reasons to vote for her instead of against the GOP.  Not that I need much to vote against the GOP.

Hence my question, in this judgement free space here.  Trying to gauge if he actually supports her or just finds her a much better alternative.

Personally, I think she's vile.  Maybe 5% better than Trump in terms of character (though I clearly favor her policies.)

[SKO]

I think Hillary's a loathsome, conniving, realpolitik-abusing shitheel but she's definitely got actual policies and a relatively left-centrist position most of us can accept, whereas the entire GOP field is full of awful to god-awful human beings with awful to god-awful policies. I think Rubio is the only one that only disgusts me rather than actively terrifies me.

[CBStew]

I have no problem voting for Hillary Clinton for President.

Because of your support for her or because of who you'd be voting against?

I, for one, don't think she's so bad.  Not perfect but I can definitely come up with reasons to vote for her instead of against the GOP.  Not that I need much to vote against the GOP.

Hence my question, in this judgement free space here.  Trying to gauge if he actually supports her or just finds her a much better alternative.

Personally, I think she's vile.  Maybe 5% better than Trump in terms of character (though I clearly favor her policies.)

Bernie Sanders is my man.  He represents my demographic.  A not so tall Jewish guy in his seventies.  What's not to like?

[Canadouche]

I have no problem voting for Hillary Clinton for President.

Because of your support for her or because of who you'd be voting against?

I, for one, don't think she's so bad.  Not perfect but I can definitely come up with reasons to vote for her instead of against the GOP.  Not that I need much to vote against the GOP.

Hence my question, in this judgement free space here.  Trying to gauge if he actually supports her or just finds her a much better alternative.

Personally, I think she's vile.  Maybe 5% better than Trump in terms of character (though I clearly favor her policies.)

Bernie Sanders is my man.  He represents my demographic.  A not so tall Jewish guy in his seventies.  What's not to like?

I'm really concerned that he might be in the pocket of that teacher who gave $900 to his campaign.

[Quality Start Machine]

I have no problem voting for Hillary Clinton for President.

Because of your support for her or because of who you'd be voting against?

I, for one, don't think she's so bad.  Not perfect but I can definitely come up with reasons to vote for her instead of against the GOP.  Not that I need much to vote against the GOP.

Hence my question, in this judgement free space here.  Trying to gauge if he actually supports her or just finds her a much better alternative.

Personally, I think she's vile.  Maybe 5% better than Trump in terms of character (though I clearly favor her policies.)

The fact that Trump is running as a full-on Fascist and is polling well might be the worst reflection of this country we've ever had.

[PenFoe]

I have no problem voting for Hillary Clinton for President.

Because of your support for her or because of who you'd be voting against?

I, for one, don't think she's so bad.  Not perfect but I can definitely come up with reasons to vote for her instead of against the GOP.  Not that I need much to vote against the GOP.

Hence my question, in this judgement free space here.  Trying to gauge if he actually supports her or just finds her a much better alternative.

Personally, I think she's vile.  Maybe 5% better than Trump in terms of character (though I clearly favor her policies.)

The fact that Trump is running as a full-on Fascist and is polling well might be the worst reflection of this country we've ever had.

Yeah, I don't disagree at all with this. 

It's the worst possible reflection of the U.S. I can possibly imagine.

I would vote for 4-8 more years of W before voting for at least half the GOP field.   

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

I have no problem voting for Hillary Clinton for President.

Because of your support for her or because of who you'd be voting against?

I, for one, don't think she's so bad.  Not perfect but I can definitely come up with reasons to vote for her instead of against the GOP.  Not that I need much to vote against the GOP.

Hence my question, in this judgement free space here.  Trying to gauge if he actually supports her or just finds her a much better alternative.

Personally, I think she's vile.  Maybe 5% better than Trump in terms of character (though I clearly favor her policies.)

She doesn't bother me at all.  Unlike in 2004 with Kerry, I can vote for her without holding my nose. I would support her because she's intelligent, experienced and not batshit crazy, and of course I tend to agree with her politics.   The only people in the GOP who don't make my skin crawl are Christie and Rubio (and maybe Kasich) and I wouldn't hesitate to vote for Hillary over any of them.  Also, if Bernie Sanders wins the primary, we're probably doomed because I don't see how he gets elected in the general election.

Maybe, now that I think about it, part of Hillary's appeal to me is exactly how crazy she makes other people.  The reaction she gets from many white males is so outsized, visceral and frothing-at-the-mouth that it'd make the reception Obama got from these folks tame by comparison.

But I honestly think she'd make a good president.

[Eli]

I have no problem voting for Hillary Clinton for President.

Because of your support for her or because of who you'd be voting against?

I, for one, don't think she's so bad.  Not perfect but I can definitely come up with reasons to vote for her instead of against the GOP.  Not that I need much to vote against the GOP.

Hence my question, in this judgement free space here.  Trying to gauge if he actually supports her or just finds her a much better alternative.

Personally, I think she's vile.  Maybe 5% better than Trump in terms of character (though I clearly favor her policies.)

She doesn't bother me at all.  Unlike in 2004 with Kerry, I can vote for her without holding my nose. I would support her because she's intelligent, experienced and not batshit crazy, and of course I tend to agree with her politics.   The only people in the GOP who don't make my skin crawl are Christie and Rubio (and maybe Kasich) and I wouldn't hesitate to vote for Hillary over any of them.  Also, if Bernie Sanders wins the primary, we're probably doomed because I don't see how he gets elected in the general election.

Maybe, now that I think about it, part of Hillary's appeal to me is exactly how crazy she makes other people.  The reaction she gets from many white males is so outsized, visceral and frothing-at-the-mouth that it'd make the reception Obama got from these folks tame by comparison.

But I honestly think she'd make a good president.

She probably wouldn't doom the country to ruin like Trump would. But I also don't think she'd accomplish anything important or noteworthy. This is where we're at with the current crop of candidates.

[Canadouche]

I still think that Trump's entire candidacy is some kind of twisted social experiment. Based on his long history of being a democrat/supporter of liberals, I believe he is taking his stances with the intention of being as incendiary as possible. As each incendiary comment results in people supporting him more, he is simply turning up the dial to see how far he can go before people start to pull back.

I don't believe he has a chance in hell of being elected, but even if he did... I suspect he'd be a stealth moderate. However, while I suspect that, I would rather the country not risk it.

[R-V]

I still think that Trump's entire candidacy is some kind of twisted social experiment. Based on his long history of being a democrat/supporter of liberals, I believe he is taking his stances with the intention of being as incendiary as possible. As each incendiary comment results in people supporting him more, he is simply turning up the dial to see how far he can go before people start to pull back.

I don't believe he has a chance in hell of being elected, but even if he did... I suspect he'd be a stealth moderate. However, while I suspect that, I would rather the country not risk it.

Is this a joke at Huey's expense? If it is, well played. If it's not, uh...