All Purpose Big Ten Basketball/NCAA Hoop 2009-10 Thread

[Saul Goodman]

Purdue and Illinois face off Tuesday. I don't think either Apex or I are looking forward to this one.

Well, that sounds like a good time.

Speaking for the whole board, I know we're all anxiously awaiting the postgame analysis.

Bump.

[Slaky]

Purdue and Illinois face off Tuesday. I don't think either Apex or I are looking forward to this one.

Well, that sounds like a good time.

Speaking for the whole board, I know we're all anxiously awaiting the postgame analysis.

Bump.

I'll save you the wait: it was Weber's fault. The end.

[R-V]

Damnit. Getting through this game is going to require more beer than I have on hand. Now Tpex wants one? What? COME ON!1!!!!

Yeah, it must've been tough to watch your team shoot 90% in the 2nd half. Fuck.

I guess that was progression to the mean after shooting 10% for the entirety of a 3-game losing streak. And those were fucking circus shot side of the ass heaves that Illinois was hitting in the final two minutes. Thanks. My fucking heart stopped for 18.4 seconds. I had a talk with my mom while I was dead and she told me to relax, Bob Hummel don't miss free-throws. White boys from Indiana seldom do.

Good night and good luck, octaroons

And now there's a special league for boys just like Bob.

A new professional basketball league boasting rosters made up exclusively of white Americans has its eyes set on Augusta, but the team isn't receiving a warm welcome.

Don "Moose" Lewis, the commissioner of the AABA, said the reasoning behind the league's roster restrictions is not racism.

"There's nothing hatred about what we're doing," he said. "I don't hate anyone of color. But people of white, American-born citizens are in the minority now. Here's a league for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like."

Lewis said he wants to emphasize fundamental basketball instead of "street-ball" played by "people of color." He pointed out recent incidents in the NBA, including Gilbert Arenas' indefinite suspension after bringing guns into the Washington Wizards locker room, as examples of fans' dissatisfaction with the way current professional sports are run.

"Would you want to go to the game and worry about a player flipping you off or attacking you in the stands or grabbing their crotch?" he said. "That's the culture today, and in a free country we should have the right to move ourselves in a better direction."

[Internet Apex]

Oh, my... God.

[Kermit IV]

Purdue and Illinois face off Tuesday. I don't think either Apex or I are looking forward to this one.

Well, that sounds like a good time.

Speaking for the whole board, I know we're all anxiously awaiting the postgame analysis.

Bump.

I'll save you the wait: it was Weber's fault. The end.

Weber was nowhere near as terrible as those REFEREES!

[Quality Start Machine]

Oh, my... God.

When are you trying out?

[Internet Apex]

Oh, my... God.

When are you trying out?

Shit, who do you think I am? Jackie Robinson?

[BC]

Illinois isn't that good.

I enjoyed Erin Andrews.

That's about it.

[BH]

Illinois isn't that good.

I enjoyed Erin Andrews.

That's about it.

[Yeti]

Illinois isn't that good.

I enjoyed Erin Andrews.

That's about it.

THEM DAMNED COSTS!!!! ARRRRRGGHGHGHG!!!!!!two!@#@$

[Internet Apex]

Oh, my... God.

When are you trying out?

Shit, who do you think I am? Jackie Robinson?

I can't wait to hear more about this idea. Because I have some questions.

- What if a person of color who wants to play a fundamental-style game wants to play?

- What if a person is of mixed-race and wants to play?

- What if a hispanic or Indian or Asian wants to play?

- What if a white guy playing in the league suddenly starts dribbling really fancily to get out of trouble and makes a sweet no-look pass to an open teammate? Technical foul?

- And what if that open teammate dunks with one hand? Technical foul?

- I'm assuming trash talk is absolutely out of the question but what about berating refs? Fair game?

It's not just that I don't think these yokels are smart enough to pull this off, but honestly, I don't think anybody could. Forget wondering who the fuck would pay to see it - how do you handle all these questions (and more, come on help me out!)  in the league rules without your head fucking exploding? I know mine is about to burst right now.

[PenFoe]

Oh, my... God.

When are you trying out?

Shit, who do you think I am? Jackie Robinson?

I can't wait to hear more about this idea. Because I have some questions.

- What if a person of color who wants to play a fundamental-style game wants to play?

- What if a person is of mixed-race and wants to play?

- What if a hispanic or Indian or Asian wants to play?

- What if a white guy playing in the league suddenly starts dribbling really fancily to get out of trouble and makes a sweet no-look pass to an open teammate? Technical foul?

- And what if that open teammate dunks with one hand? Technical foul?

- I'm assuming trash talk is absolutely out of the question but what about berating refs? Fair game?

It's not just that I don't think these yokels are smart enough to pull this off, but honestly, I don't think anybody could. Forget wondering who the fuck would pay to see it - how do you handle all these questions (and more, come on help me out!)  in the league rules without your head fucking exploding? I know mine is about to burst right now.

They already have this league...it's called the WNBA.

[Tony]

So Tim Duncan wouldn't be allowed to play, but White Chocolate could? Sounds like a great idea.

[Eli]

- I'm assuming trash talk is absolutely out of the question but what about berating refs? Fair game?

Whining to refs is a long-standing tradition for white guys, so I assume that would be allowed, if not encouraged.

[CT III]

I heard DePaul is interested in joining this league.