Dave B picks his top 10 Cubs of the 00s

[Yeti]

Top 10 Cubs of the 00s

8. Ryan Theriot: He is the first starting shortstop developed in the Cubs' farm system since Shawon Dunston. An overachiever that fans love to root for, Theriot is a career .288 hitter. His best season was in 2008 when he batted .307 and had a .387 on-base percentage. He has been solid defensively and durable the past three seasons, averaging 12 errors and 150 games played.

Fuck them for this one:

10. Mark DeRosa: Though with the team for only a short period of time, he became arguably its most popular player. DeRosa was a key component of the 2007 and '08 division championship teams. He batted .289 with 31 home runs and 159 runs batted in during his two-plus seasons. His versatility and game-altering hits were his forte. And he could still win an election as alderman in Chicago.

[Saul Goodman]

Top 10 Cubs of the 00s

8. Ryan Theriot: He is the first starting shortstop developed in the Cubs' farm system since Shawon Dunston. An overachiever that fans love to root for, Theriot is a career .288 hitter. His best season was in 2008 when he batted .307 and had a .387 on-base percentage. He has been solid defensively and durable the past three seasons, averaging 12 errors and 150 games played.

Fuck them for this one:

10. Mark DeRosa: Though with the team for only a short period of time, he became arguably its most popular player. DeRosa was a key component of the 2007 and '08 division championship teams. He batted .289 with 31 home runs and 159 runs batted in during his two-plus seasons. His versatility and game-altering hits double plays in the playoffs were his forte, along with nailing slumpbusting Trixies. And he could still win an election as alderman in Chicago.

[Waco Kid]

Top 10 Cubs of the 00s

8. Ryan Theriot: He is the first starting shortstop developed in the Cubs' farm system since Shawon Dunston. An overachiever that fans love to root for, Theriot is a career .288 hitter. His best season was in 2008 when he batted .307 and had a .387 on-base percentage. He has been solid defensively and durable the past three seasons, averaging 12 errors and 150 games played.

Fuck them for this one:

10. Mark DeRosa: Though with the team for only a short period of time, he became arguably its most popular player. DeRosa was a key component of the 2007 and '08 division championship teams. He batted .289 with 31 home runs and 159 runs batted in during his two-plus seasons. His versatility, stubble, and game-altering hits were his forte. And he could still win an election as alderman in Chicago.

[Powdered Toast Man]

Top 10 Cubs of the 00s

8. Ryan Theriot: He is the first starting shortstop developed in the Cubs' farm system since Shawon Dunston. An overachiever that fans love to root for, Theriot is a career .288 hitter. His best season was in 2008 when he batted .307 and had a .387 on-base percentage. He has been solid defensively and durable the past three seasons, averaging 12 errors and 150 games played.

Fuck them for this one:

10. Mark DeRosa: Though with the team for only a short period of time, he became arguably its most popular player. DeRosa was a key component of the 2007 and '08 division championship teams. He batted .289 with 31 home runs and 159 runs batted in during his two-plus seasons. His versatility and game-altering hits were his forte. And he could still win an election as alderman in Chicago.

At least Aramis gets some love.  But, how in the hell is Ryan Dempster ahead of Sammy Sosa?

[Yeti]

Top 10 Cubs of the 00s

8. Ryan Theriot: He is the first starting shortstop developed in the Cubs' farm system since Shawon Dunston. An overachiever that fans love to root for, Theriot is a career .288 hitter. His best season was in 2008 when he batted .307 and had a .387 on-base percentage. He has been solid defensively and durable the past three seasons, averaging 12 errors and 150 games played.

Fuck them for this one:

10. Mark DeRosa: Though with the team for only a short period of time, he became arguably its most popular player. DeRosa was a key component of the 2007 and '08 division championship teams. He batted .289 with 31 home runs and 159 runs batted in during his two-plus seasons. His versatility and game-altering hits were his forte. And he could still win an election as alderman in Chicago.

At least Aramis gets some love.  But, how in the hell is Ryan Dempster ahead of Sammy Sosa?

Because Sosa did 'roids. I mean it's not like the others on the list couldn't have. I'd figured Sosa's whiteness would catapult him to the top, though.

[Powdered Toast Man]

Top 10 Cubs of the 00s

8. Ryan Theriot: He is the first starting shortstop developed in the Cubs' farm system since Shawon Dunston. An overachiever that fans love to root for, Theriot is a career .288 hitter. His best season was in 2008 when he batted .307 and had a .387 on-base percentage. He has been solid defensively and durable the past three seasons, averaging 12 errors and 150 games played.

Fuck them for this one:

10. Mark DeRosa: Though with the team for only a short period of time, he became arguably its most popular player. DeRosa was a key component of the 2007 and '08 division championship teams. He batted .289 with 31 home runs and 159 runs batted in during his two-plus seasons. His versatility and game-altering hits were his forte. And he could still win an election as alderman in Chicago.

At least Aramis gets some love.  But, how in the hell is Ryan Dempster ahead of Sammy Sosa?

Because Sosa did 'roids. I mean it's not like the others on the list couldn't have. I'd figured Sosa's whiteness would catapult him to the top, though.

The real crime is that Daryle Ward isn't on this list.  Also, if DeRosa made the list, who missed?  Were Matt Murton and Adam Greenberg 11 and 12?

[Quality Start Machine]

DeRosa over Lilly? Guy's got a fucking death wish.

[Andy]

DeRosa and Theriot over Soriano and Lilly? 

Where's the That's Racist kid?

[SKO]

I can fix this-

1. Hank White
2. Matt Stairs
3. Ricky "The Gut" Gutierrez
4. Randall Simon
5. Delino DeShields
6. "Big" Choi
7. Kenny Lofton (Spark. Plug.)
8. Juan Pierre (200 hits)
9. Matt Stairs on a bad day.
10. Which Benes brother did they have? Put him here.

[Internet Apex]

Serially:

1. Kerry Wood
2. Carlos Zambrano
3. Aramis Ramirez
4. Derek Lee
5. Hank White
6. Who
7. The
8. Fuck
9. Even
10. Cares? 

[Eli]

Serially:

1. Kerry Wood
2. Carlos Zambrano
3. Aramis Ramirez
4. Derek Lee
5. Hank White
6. Who
7. The
8. Fuck
9. Even
10. Cares? 
...
296. Matt Murton

Merry Christmas to Apex'd.

[Kermit, B.]

Top 10 Cubs of the 00s

8. Ryan Theriot: He is the first starting shortstop developed in the Cubs' farm system since Shawon Dunston. An overachiever that fans love to root for, Theriot is a career .288 hitter. His best season was in 2008 when he batted .307 and had a .387 on-base percentage. He has been solid defensively and durable the past three seasons, averaging 12 errors and 150 games played.

Fuck them for this one:

10. Mark DeRosa: Though with the team for only a short period of time, he became arguably its most popular player. DeRosa was a key component of the 2007 and '08 division championship teams. He batted .289 with 31 home runs and 159 runs batted in during his two-plus seasons. His versatility and game-altering hits were his forte. And he could still win an election as alderman in Chicago.

At least Aramis gets some love.  But, how in the hell is Ryan Dempster ahead of Sammy Sosa?

How is Dempster even on the list?

1.  Aramis Ramirez
2.  Carlos Zambrano
3.  Kerry Wood
4.  Derrek Lee
5.  Sammy Sosa (only because he wasn't on the team for long)
6.  Mark Prior
7.  Moises Alou
8.  Carlos Marmol
9.  Jon Lieber
10.  Mark Grace (I don't care if it was only a year; he deserves it over De Fucking Rosa)

[PenFoe]

Top 10 Cubs of the 00s

8. Ryan Theriot: He is the first starting shortstop developed in the Cubs' farm system since Shawon Dunston. An overachiever that fans love to root for, Theriot is a career .288 hitter. His best season was in 2008 when he batted .307 and had a .387 on-base percentage. He has been solid defensively and durable the past three seasons, averaging 12 errors and 150 games played.

Fuck them for this one:

10. Mark DeRosa: Though with the team for only a short period of time, he became arguably its most popular player. DeRosa was a key component of the 2007 and '08 division championship teams. He batted .289 with 31 home runs and 159 runs batted in during his two-plus seasons. His versatility and game-altering hits were his forte. And he could still win an election as alderman in Chicago.

At least Aramis gets some love.  But, how in the hell is Ryan Dempster ahead of Sammy Sosa?

How is Dempster even on the list?

1.  Aramis Ramirez
2.  Carlos Zambrano
3.  Kerry Wood
4.  Derrek Lee
5.  Sammy Sosa (only because he wasn't on the team for long)
6.  Mark Prior
7.  Moises Alou
8.  Carlos Marmol
9.  Jon Lieber
10.  Mark Grace (I don't care if it was only a year; he deserves it over De Fucking Rosa)

lol wat

[Quality Start Machine]

Top 10 Cubs of the 00s

8. Ryan Theriot: He is the first starting shortstop developed in the Cubs' farm system since Shawon Dunston. An overachiever that fans love to root for, Theriot is a career .288 hitter. His best season was in 2008 when he batted .307 and had a .387 on-base percentage. He has been solid defensively and durable the past three seasons, averaging 12 errors and 150 games played.

Fuck them for this one:

10. Mark DeRosa: Though with the team for only a short period of time, he became arguably its most popular player. DeRosa was a key component of the 2007 and '08 division championship teams. He batted .289 with 31 home runs and 159 runs batted in during his two-plus seasons. His versatility and game-altering hits were his forte. And he could still win an election as alderman in Chicago.

At least Aramis gets some love.  But, how in the hell is Ryan Dempster ahead of Sammy Sosa?

How is Dempster even on the list?

1.  Aramis Ramirez
2.  Carlos Zambrano
3.  Kerry Wood
4.  Derrek Lee
5.  Sammy Sosa (only because he wasn't on the team for long)
6.  Mark Prior
7.  Moises Alou
8.  Carlos Marmol
9.  Jon Lieber
10.  Mark Grace (I don't care if it was only a year; he deserves it over De Fucking Rosa)

Sweaty Joe belongs on that list.

[Eli]

Top 10 Cubs of the 00s

8. Ryan Theriot: He is the first starting shortstop developed in the Cubs' farm system since Shawon Dunston. An overachiever that fans love to root for, Theriot is a career .288 hitter. His best season was in 2008 when he batted .307 and had a .387 on-base percentage. He has been solid defensively and durable the past three seasons, averaging 12 errors and 150 games played.

Fuck them for this one:

10. Mark DeRosa: Though with the team for only a short period of time, he became arguably its most popular player. DeRosa was a key component of the 2007 and '08 division championship teams. He batted .289 with 31 home runs and 159 runs batted in during his two-plus seasons. His versatility and game-altering hits were his forte. And he could still win an election as alderman in Chicago.

At least Aramis gets some love.  But, how in the hell is Ryan Dempster ahead of Sammy Sosa?

How is Dempster even on the list?

1.  Aramis Ramirez
2.  Carlos Zambrano
3.  Kerry Wood
4.  Derrek Lee
5.  Sammy Sosa (only because he wasn't on the team for long)
6.  Mark Prior
7.  Moises Alou
8.  Carlos Marmol
9.  Jon Lieber
10.  Mark Grace (I don't care if it was only a year; he deserves it over De Fucking Rosa)

lol wat

Prior crammed more awesomeness into his 2003 season than most Cubs pitchers produced in the entire decade.