Let's look forward to the Viking Dongpocalypse

[MAD]

Let's say the Colts win the Super Bowl. Peyton Manning: best QB of all time?

Intrepid Reader:  Joe Montana

Nope.  Now I'm going to go upstairs and masturbate

Back to this. I'm assuming you're basing it on Super Bowl wins? I shouldn't have mentioned the Super Bowl, team accomplishments aren't really the best way to judge individual players.

If you had to win one game, would you take Montana in his prime over Manning in his prime?

Joe won a lot of games other than SB games.  As good as Manning is (and he's real good) I think I would go with Montana.  He always seemed to win the big games.

Whatever. Montana was a rag-armed little fruit. Manning is a 6'6 sharpshooter with a brain like the terminator.

Wait, you were joking, were'nt you? I'm going to bed.

Also, I'd give Montana just the slightest edge in the supporting cast and coaching categories.

Shouldn't Johnny Unitas enter this conversation somewhere, or does StatFAGGOTry preclude that?

Set your watches to TEC in 3... 2...

Johnny U is TEC's haircut icon.

Change your name to Joke Explainer.

If Fork didn't explain the jokes, Huey would be more lost than that other guy who is already the most lost.

I actually used the "Now there's a haircut you could set your watch too" line Sunday night (with sophisticated witnesses, natch) so pick on some other PANK.

"too"?

That's how the writers on "The Simpsons" had it.  True story.

Now go eat dingleberries.

[Quality Start Machine]

Let's say the Colts win the Super Bowl. Peyton Manning: best QB of all time?

Intrepid Reader:  Joe Montana

Nope.  Now I'm going to go upstairs and masturbate

Back to this. I'm assuming you're basing it on Super Bowl wins? I shouldn't have mentioned the Super Bowl, team accomplishments aren't really the best way to judge individual players.

If you had to win one game, would you take Montana in his prime over Manning in his prime?

Joe won a lot of games other than SB games.  As good as Manning is (and he's real good) I think I would go with Montana.  He always seemed to win the big games.

Whatever. Montana was a rag-armed little fruit. Manning is a 6'6 sharpshooter with a brain like the terminator.

Wait, you were joking, were'nt you? I'm going to bed.

Also, I'd give Montana just the slightest edge in the supporting cast and coaching categories.

Shouldn't Johnny Unitas enter this conversation somewhere, or does StatFAGGOTry preclude that?

Set your watches to TEC in 3... 2...

Johnny U is TEC's haircut icon.

Change your name to Joke Explainer.

If Fork didn't explain the jokes, Huey would be more lost than that other guy who is already the most lost.

I actually used the "Now there's a haircut you could set your watch too" line Sunday night (with sophisticated witnesses, natch) so pick on some other PANK.

"too"?

That's how the writers on "The Simpsons" had it.  True story.

Now go eat dingleberries.

When I want any shit from you, I'll pop the top off that beer can of a head you've got and scoop it out, you fuck.

[MAD]

Let's say the Colts win the Super Bowl. Peyton Manning: best QB of all time?

Intrepid Reader:  Joe Montana

Nope.  Now I'm going to go upstairs and masturbate

Back to this. I'm assuming you're basing it on Super Bowl wins? I shouldn't have mentioned the Super Bowl, team accomplishments aren't really the best way to judge individual players.

If you had to win one game, would you take Montana in his prime over Manning in his prime?

Joe won a lot of games other than SB games.  As good as Manning is (and he's real good) I think I would go with Montana.  He always seemed to win the big games.

Whatever. Montana was a rag-armed little fruit. Manning is a 6'6 sharpshooter with a brain like the terminator.

Wait, you were joking, were'nt you? I'm going to bed.

Also, I'd give Montana just the slightest edge in the supporting cast and coaching categories.

Shouldn't Johnny Unitas enter this conversation somewhere, or does StatFAGGOTry preclude that?

Set your watches to TEC in 3... 2...

Johnny U is TEC's haircut icon.

Change your name to Joke Explainer.

If Fork didn't explain the jokes, Huey would be more lost than that other guy who is already the most lost.

I actually used the "Now there's a haircut you could set your watch too" line Sunday night (with sophisticated witnesses, natch) so pick on some other PANK.

"too"?

That's how the writers on "The Simpsons" had it.  True story.

Now go eat dingleberries.

When I want any shit from you, I'll pop the top off that beer can of a head you've got and scoop it out, you fuck.

I'M THIRTY EIGHT YEARS OLD!  I'M NOT GOING TO FIGHT YOU!

[SKO]

Let's say the Colts win the Super Bowl. Peyton Manning: best QB of all time?

Intrepid Reader:  Joe Montana

Nope.  Now I'm going to go upstairs and masturbate

Back to this. I'm assuming you're basing it on Super Bowl wins? I shouldn't have mentioned the Super Bowl, team accomplishments aren't really the best way to judge individual players.

If you had to win one game, would you take Montana in his prime over Manning in his prime?

Joe won a lot of games other than SB games.  As good as Manning is (and he's real good) I think I would go with Montana.  He always seemed to win the big games.

Whatever. Montana was a rag-armed little fruit. Manning is a 6'6 sharpshooter with a brain like the terminator.

Wait, you were joking, were'nt you? I'm going to bed.

Also, I'd give Montana just the slightest edge in the supporting cast and coaching categories.

Shouldn't Johnny Unitas enter this conversation somewhere, or does StatFAGGOTry preclude that?

Set your watches to TEC in 3... 2...

Johnny U is TEC's haircut icon.

Change your name to Joke Explainer.

If Fork didn't explain the jokes, Huey would be more lost than that other guy who is already the most lost.

I actually used the "Now there's a haircut you could set your watch too" line Sunday night (with sophisticated witnesses, natch) so pick on some other PANK.

"too"?

That's how the writers on "The Simpsons" had it.  True story.

Now go eat dingleberries.

When I want any shit from you, I'll pop the top off that beer can of a head you've got and scoop it out, you fuck.

I'M THIRTY EIGHT YEARS OLD!  I'M NOT GOING TO FIGHT YOU!

Using some statfaggotry that factors in the era and whatnot, here's a list of (statistically speaking) greatest qbs of all time- http://www.pro-football-reference.com/blog/?p=3378 (this was made before this season, however, and Manning, Favre, and a few others obviously have done well enough to boost their rankings probably)


If you don't feel like reading all that- here's the top ten without postseason stats included-
1. Manning
2. Marino
3. Young
4. Montana
5. Tarkenton
6. Fouts
7. Ken Anderson
8. Johnny Unitas
9. SID LUCKMAN
10. Sammy Baugh

With postseason stats included:

1. Montana
2. Manning
3. Marino
4. Young
5. Luckman
6. Tarkenton
7. Ken Anderson (this surprised the hell out of me)
8. Fouts
9. Unitas
10. Favre.

[BH]

Let's say the Colts win the Super Bowl. Peyton Manning: best QB of all time?

Intrepid Reader:  Joe Montana

Nope.  Now I'm going to go upstairs and masturbate

Back to this. I'm assuming you're basing it on Super Bowl wins? I shouldn't have mentioned the Super Bowl, team accomplishments aren't really the best way to judge individual players.

If you had to win one game, would you take Montana in his prime over Manning in his prime?

Joe won a lot of games other than SB games.  As good as Manning is (and he's real good) I think I would go with Montana.  He always seemed to win the big games.

Whatever. Montana was a rag-armed little fruit. Manning is a 6'6 sharpshooter with a brain like the terminator.

Wait, you were joking, were'nt you? I'm going to bed.

Also, I'd give Montana just the slightest edge in the supporting cast and coaching categories.

Shouldn't Johnny Unitas enter this conversation somewhere, or does StatFAGGOTry preclude that?

Set your watches to TEC in 3... 2...

Johnny U is TEC's haircut icon.

Change your name to Joke Explainer.

If Fork didn't explain the jokes, Huey would be more lost than that other guy who is already the most lost.

I actually used the "Now there's a haircut you could set your watch too" line Sunday night (with sophisticated witnesses, natch) so pick on some other PANK.

"too"?

That's how the writers on "The Simpsons" had it.  True story.

Now go eat dingleberries.

When I want any shit from you, I'll pop the top off that beer can of a head you've got and scoop it out, you fuck.

I'M THIRTY EIGHT YEARS OLD!  I'M NOT GOING TO FIGHT YOU!

Using some statfaggotry that factors in the era and whatnot, here's a list of (statistically speaking) greatest qbs of all time- http://www.pro-football-reference.com/blog/?p=3378 (this was made before this season, however, and Manning, Favre, and a few others obviously have done well enough to boost their rankings probably)


If you don't feel like reading all that- here's the top ten without postseason stats included-
1. Manning
2. Marino
3. Young
4. Montana
5. Tarkenton
6. Fouts
7. Ken Anderson
8. Johnny Unitas
9. SID LUCKMAN
10. Sammy Baugh

With postseason stats included:

1. Montana
2. Manning
3. Marino
4. Young
5. Luckman
6. Tarkenton
7. Ken Anderson (this surprised the hell out of me)
8. Fouts
9. Unitas
10. Favre.

Eli or Peyton? Cooper?

[SKO]

Danieal.

[R-V]

Update

CBS urged to scrap anti-abortion Super Bowl ad featuring Tebow

An oldie but a goodie from Focus on the Family, on dequeening your young uns:

Meanwhile, the boy's father has to do his part. He needs to mirror and affirm his son's maleness. He can play rough-and-tumble games with his son, in ways that are decidedly different from the games he would play with a little girl. He can help his son learn to throw and catch a ball. He can teach him to pound a square wooden peg into a square hole in a pegboard. He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger.

[PenFoe]

If you don't feel like reading all that- here's the top ten without postseason stats included-
1. Manning
2. Marino
3. Young
4. Montana
5. Tarkenton
6. Fouts
7. Ken Anderson
8. Johnny Unitas
9. SID LUCKMAN
10. Sammy Baugh

With postseason stats included:

1. Montana
2. Manning
3. Marino
4. Young
5. Luckman
6. Tarkenton
7. Ken Anderson (this surprised the hell out of me)
8. Fouts
9. Unitas
10. Favre.

Seems like somewhere on one of those lists, Tom Brady's name should appear.

[SKO]

If you don't feel like reading all that- here's the top ten without postseason stats included-
1. Manning
2. Marino
3. Young
4. Montana
5. Tarkenton
6. Fouts
7. Ken Anderson
8. Johnny Unitas
9. SID LUCKMAN
10. Sammy Baugh

With postseason stats included:

1. Montana
2. Manning
3. Marino
4. Young
5. Luckman
6. Tarkenton
7. Ken Anderson (this surprised the hell out of me)
8. Fouts
9. Unitas
10. Favre.

Seems like somewhere on one of those lists, Tom Brady's name should appear.

Eh. Outside of his 2007 season his numbers have never been that exceptional, at least not for this era, and his early postseason numbers weren't that spectacular, as they had a fairly conservative offense in 2001 and the postseason failures since 2005 have brought the overall numbers down.

[KarryLing]

I'm glad Jared Allen prefaces this by saying he's not gay, because I'm not convinced.

"Everything but my backside loves you, but if you come back, I will let you slap my rear end every single day.  In no way gay at all, but I will take that stinging pain and I will eat it every day."

http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2010/01/29/an-offer-favre-may-not-be-able-to-refuse/

[CT III]

BUMP

NFL minicamps began today.  Which means that it was the perfect time for Brett Favre to tell the Vikings that his ankle
still hurts and he'll need surgery if he's going to play this year.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=5150940

Awesome.

[Slaky]

BUMP

NFL minicamps began today.  Which means that it was the perfect time for Brett Favre to tell the Vikings that his ankle
still hurts and he'll need surgery if he's going to play this year.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=5150940

Awesome.

I love everything about this thread. I'm a goddamn genius.

[Waco Kid]

BUMP

NFL minicamps began today.  Which means that it was the perfect time for Brett Favre to tell the Vikings that his ankle
still hurts and he'll need surgery if he's going to play this year.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=5150940

Awesome.

Favre had the best statistical season of his career and advanced the Vikings to the NFC Championship Game in the Superdome, where he was brutalized by the Saints defense. His final pass of the season was intercepted with the Vikings in scoring position and seemingly poised to win the game.

Instead, Favre's pass for Sidney Rice was intercepted in the final minutes, and the Vikings were defeated in overtime without Favre touching the football.

A favorite part of the article for me.

[fiveouts]

"Hey ESPN-I'm hurt and it will take a HERCULEAN effort by me to return to the game I love so much and always play with such joy (patent pending).  Prepare your stroke stories accordingly."

I'd call this fuck transparent if so many people weren't stupid enough to believe him. 

[Brownie]

"Hey ESPN-I'm hurt and it will take a HERCULEAN effort by me to return to the game I love so much and always play with such joy (patent pending).  Prepare your stroke stories accordingly."

I'd call this fuck transparent if so many people weren't stupid enough to believe him. 

This column is written by an ESPN writer who wants to go by the name Cynical.

I expect him to be out of a job by Aug. 1