2010-11 Chicago Bears: The Last Time You'll See Utler Alive

[Yeti]

Everyone relax. Martz wanted Cutler to get sacked to put our line in difficult situations, to make them better.

That's not what he's saying at all. He's saying the Bears left Chris Williams and everyone else to block their guys one on one in order to determine who can handle it. Obviously they'll have to design some different protections to keep Williams from being beat like a drum all season long, but if there's anytime you're just going to leave a guy on an island to see what he can do, it's the preseason.

So we can look forward to finding out if the franchise left tackle we drafted in the first round can pass block without any help?

I'm not sure I want to find out the answer.

This is the kind of progressive thinking that has rocketed the Bears to the top of the NFL.

I didn't say the answer would be good. I just said they were trying to Get an answer. But that's okay, As long as Forte and Manumaleuna triple team William's guy on every down Cutler should have at least a second or two to dump it off to Olsen in the flat for four yards. Assuming Olsen catches the damn thing. He'll immediately be brought down by a cornerback that he's got 6 inches and 75 pounds on, but hey, at least Martz is using the tight end.

I think I understand now why Olsen dropped so far in the draft. Because he's a giant vagina when it comes to breaking tackles.

Giant vaginas are usually a positive in my book.

[SKO]

Everyone relax. Martz wanted Cutler to get sacked to put our line in difficult situations, to make them better.

That's not what he's saying at all. He's saying the Bears left Chris Williams and everyone else to block their guys one on one in order to determine who can handle it. Obviously they'll have to design some different protections to keep Williams from being beat like a drum all season long, but if there's anytime you're just going to leave a guy on an island to see what he can do, it's the preseason.

So we can look forward to finding out if the franchise left tackle we drafted in the first round can pass block without any help?

I'm not sure I want to find out the answer.

This is the kind of progressive thinking that has rocketed the Bears to the top of the NFL.

I didn't say the answer would be good. I just said they were trying to Get an answer. But that's okay, As long as Forte and Manumaleuna triple team William's guy on every down Cutler should have at least a second or two to dump it off to Olsen in the flat for four yards. Assuming Olsen catches the damn thing. He'll immediately be brought down by a cornerback that he's got 6 inches and 75 pounds on, but hey, at least Martz is using the tight end.

I think I understand now why Olsen dropped so far in the draft. Because he's a giant vagina when it comes to breaking tackles.

He also couldn't block a bull rush by B.C. But then, who among us could?

Or that he routinely drops passes that hit him square on the hands. It's one of those three things. Perhaps a combination of All three? But that would be lunacy.

[R-V]

Everyone relax. Martz wanted Cutler to get sacked to put our line in difficult situations, to make them better.

That's not what he's saying at all. He's saying the Bears left Chris Williams and everyone else to block their guys one on one in order to determine who can handle it. Obviously they'll have to design some different protections to keep Williams from being beat like a drum all season long, but if there's anytime you're just going to leave a guy on an island to see what he can do, it's the preseason.

So we can look forward to finding out if the franchise left tackle we drafted in the first round can pass block without any help?

I'm not sure I want to find out the answer.

This is the kind of progressive thinking that has rocketed the Bears to the top of the NFL.

I didn't say the answer would be good. I just said they were trying to Get an answer. But that's okay, As long as Forte and Manumaleuna triple team William's guy on every down Cutler should have at least a second or two to dump it off to Olsen in the flat for four yards. Assuming Olsen catches the damn thing. He'll immediately be brought down by a cornerback that he's got 6 inches and 75 pounds on, but hey, at least Martz is using the tight end.

I think I understand now why Olsen dropped so far in the draft. Because he's a giant vagina when it comes to breaking tackles.

He also couldn't block a bull rush by B.C. But then, who among us could?

Or that he routinely drops passes that hit him square on the hands. It's one of those three things. Perhaps a combination of All three? But that would be lunacy.

Fuck. I'm already distraught over this goddamn horseshit team.

[Yeti]

Everyone relax. Martz wanted Cutler to get sacked to put our line in difficult situations, to make them better.

That's not what he's saying at all. He's saying the Bears left Chris Williams and everyone else to block their guys one on one in order to determine who can handle it. Obviously they'll have to design some different protections to keep Williams from being beat like a drum all season long, but if there's anytime you're just going to leave a guy on an island to see what he can do, it's the preseason.

So we can look forward to finding out if the franchise left tackle we drafted in the first round can pass block without any help?

I'm not sure I want to find out the answer.

This is the kind of progressive thinking that has rocketed the Bears to the top of the NFL.

I didn't say the answer would be good. I just said they were trying to Get an answer. But that's okay, As long as Forte and Manumaleuna triple team William's guy on every down Cutler should have at least a second or two to dump it off to Olsen in the flat for four yards. Assuming Olsen catches the damn thing. He'll immediately be brought down by a cornerback that he's got 6 inches and 75 pounds on, but hey, at least Martz is using the tight end.

I think I understand now why Olsen dropped so far in the draft. Because he's a giant vagina when it comes to breaking tackles.

He also couldn't block a bull rush by B.C. But then, who among us could?

From my great experience, those guys kinda suck.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Everyone relax. Martz wanted Cutler to get sacked to put our line in difficult situations, to make them better.

That's not what he's saying at all. He's saying the Bears left Chris Williams and everyone else to block their guys one on one in order to determine who can handle it. Obviously they'll have to design some different protections to keep Williams from being beat like a drum all season long, but if there's anytime you're just going to leave a guy on an island to see what he can do, it's the preseason.

So we can look forward to finding out if the franchise left tackle we drafted in the first round can pass block without any help?

I'm not sure I want to find out the answer.

This is the kind of progressive thinking that has rocketed the Bears to the top of the NFL.

I didn't say the answer would be good. I just said they were trying to Get an answer. But that's okay, As long as Forte and Manumaleuna triple team William's guy on every down Cutler should have at least a second or two to dump it off to Olsen in the flat for four yards. Assuming Olsen catches the damn thing. He'll immediately be brought down by a cornerback that he's got 6 inches and 75 pounds on, but hey, at least Martz is using the tight end.

I get that and I understand. But if you want to find out if your stud LT can block anybody it's probably a good idea not to do it when your franchise QB is still in the game.

So you're only gonna test him against other teams' scrubs?

[SKO]

Everyone relax. Martz wanted Cutler to get sacked to put our line in difficult situations, to make them better.

That's not what he's saying at all. He's saying the Bears left Chris Williams and everyone else to block their guys one on one in order to determine who can handle it. Obviously they'll have to design some different protections to keep Williams from being beat like a drum all season long, but if there's anytime you're just going to leave a guy on an island to see what he can do, it's the preseason.

So we can look forward to finding out if the franchise left tackle we drafted in the first round can pass block without any help?

I'm not sure I want to find out the answer.

This is the kind of progressive thinking that has rocketed the Bears to the top of the NFL.

I didn't say the answer would be good. I just said they were trying to Get an answer. But that's okay, As long as Forte and Manumaleuna triple team William's guy on every down Cutler should have at least a second or two to dump it off to Olsen in the flat for four yards. Assuming Olsen catches the damn thing. He'll immediately be brought down by a cornerback that he's got 6 inches and 75 pounds on, but hey, at least Martz is using the tight end.

I think I understand now why Olsen dropped so far in the draft. Because he's a giant vagina when it comes to breaking tackles.

He also couldn't block a bull rush by B.C. But then, who among us could?

Or that he routinely drops passes that hit him square on the hands. It's one of those three things. Perhaps a combination of All three? But that would be lunacy.

Fuck. I'm already distraught over this goddamn horseshit team.

Hey now, I'm just explaining why Greg Olsen is a cuaker. There's still some hope for the rest of this team. Even when Cutler was getting shellacked he still managed to move the ball pretty effectively and Matt Forte ran like a man possessed. The defense got a lot of pressure after that first drive. Let's be reasonable and wait until Week 2 before we start calling for blood in the streets.

[Slaky]

It's preseason. Last year they were 3-1. The Lions were 4-0. You all sound like a bunch of Mike Mulligans.

Not a compliment.

[Yeti]

It's preseason. Last year they were 3-1. The Lions were 4-0. You all sound like a bunch of Mike Mulligans.

Not a compliment.

They need to clear their throats like the disgusting farm animals they are

EDIT: wow

[Eli]

It's preseason. Last year they were 3-1. The Lions were 4-0. You all sound like a bunch of Mike Mulligans. pantywaists shrieking like a common Flanders.

What I was starting to post until I saw while you were typing a new reply has been posted'd.

They're going to score 550 points and go 8-8 13-3.  Get excited.

[SKO]

It's preseason. Last year they were 3-1. The Lions were 4-0. You all sound like a bunch of Mike Mulligans.

Not a compliment.

They need to clear their thoughts like the disgusting farm animals they are

There's actually nothing I've been concerned about this preseason outside of Major Wright's injury possibly leading to yet another round of the Danieal Manning Experiment and Chris Williams on Saturday. The rest of the starter's haven't embarassed themselves. That's good enough for me. I just really hate Greg Fucking Olsen.

[Armchair_QB]

Everyone relax. Martz wanted Cutler to get sacked to put our line in difficult situations, to make them better.

That's not what he's saying at all. He's saying the Bears left Chris Williams and everyone else to block their guys one on one in order to determine who can handle it. Obviously they'll have to design some different protections to keep Williams from being beat like a drum all season long, but if there's anytime you're just going to leave a guy on an island to see what he can do, it's the preseason.

So we can look forward to finding out if the franchise left tackle we drafted in the first round can pass block without any help?

I'm not sure I want to find out the answer.

This is the kind of progressive thinking that has rocketed the Bears to the top of the NFL.

I didn't say the answer would be good. I just said they were trying to Get an answer. But that's okay, As long as Forte and Manumaleuna triple team William's guy on every down Cutler should have at least a second or two to dump it off to Olsen in the flat for four yards. Assuming Olsen catches the damn thing. He'll immediately be brought down by a cornerback that he's got 6 inches and 75 pounds on, but hey, at least Martz is using the tight end.

I get that and I understand. But if you want to find out if your stud LT can block anybody it's probably a good idea not to do it when your franchise QB is still in the game.

So you're only gonna test him against other teams' scrubs?

No, I'm going to put Caleb Hanie behind the starting O-line to get his ass kicked by the first team. That's what he's here for.

[R-V]

It's preseason. Last year they were 3-1. The Lions were 4-0. You all sound like a bunch of Mike Mulligans. pantywaists shrieking like a common Flanders.

What I was starting to post until I saw while you were typing a new reply has been posted'd.

They're going to score 550 points and go 8-8 13-3.  Get excited.

I'm sure I'll swing over to that line of thinking by this afternoon or so. With Williams getting beat like a drum, Olsen being a gash, and the Cubs being a sinkhole of despair with a regular Jeff Baker and a bizarro Jeff Baker, I'm a sad panda about my local sports teams in general.

[Internet Apex]

I'm not convinced that, despite Martz and Tice's very soothing words of reassurance, that they are going to be able to block anybody, especially when games count and defensive schemes get more exotic. I use the word exotic because I don't know exactly what other teams might do to them. When I think of exoticness I think of purple vaginas. That's what this team reminds me of. A purple vagina. It looks great, feels great, tastes great. Hell it is great.

But can it block anybody?

[R-V]

Well now I'm feeling optimistic.

In a league run by dynamic owners like Jerry Jones in Dallas, Daniel Snyder in Washington and Robert Kraft in New England, the Bears are financial flatliners. In this year's FORBES NFL valuations  the Bears rank ninth, worth $1.07 billion, the lowest-ranked big market team, and are behind even the small-fry Baltimore Ravens. On the field they've recently been just as mediocre, compiling a 111--129 record since 1995. No NFL team has done less with more.

But Jones did more than just take on debt. He created new revenue streams for the Cowboys from premium seating, sponsorship and naming rights. Snyder is executing a similar plan, making his Redskins the league's second-most-profitable team, right behind the Cowboys, with an operating income of $104 million. Even the old-school Giants teamed up with the Jets to privately finance a $1.6 billion stadium that will host the 2014 Super Bowl, the first to be played outdoors in a cold-weather city.

The Bears? Their crowning achievement is the 2003 renovation of ancient Soldier Field. It was a punt that essentially gave the iconic stadium to the city. "The Bears are one of the least innovative teams in the NFL," says Marc Ganis, the president of Chicago consultancy SportsCorp.

Even in the revenues that are unshared with the rest of the NFL, the Bears have been laggards. The Patriots have half of Chicago's metropolitan population (4.5 million versus Chicago's 9.6 million). Yet New England made an estimated $12.8 million in local broadcast revenues (TV and radio) last year, compared to the Bears' $8.3 million. If the Bears have been good at anything, it's at keeping payroll down. Since forbes began tracking team values in 1998, the Bears have never made the NFL's top ten for paying talent.

[Internet Apex]

Well now I'm feeling optimistic.

In a league run by dynamic owners like Jerry Jones in Dallas, Daniel Snyder in Washington and Robert Kraft in New England, the Bears are financial flatliners. In this year's FORBES NFL valuations  the Bears rank ninth, worth $1.07 billion, the lowest-ranked big market team, and are behind even the small-fry Baltimore Ravens. On the field they've recently been just as mediocre, compiling a 111--129 record since 1995. No NFL team has done less with more.

But Jones did more than just take on debt. He created new revenue streams for the Cowboys from premium seating, sponsorship and naming rights. Snyder is executing a similar plan, making his Redskins the league's second-most-profitable team, right behind the Cowboys, with an operating income of $104 million. Even the old-school Giants teamed up with the Jets to privately finance a $1.6 billion stadium that will host the 2014 Super Bowl, the first to be played outdoors in a cold-weather city.

The Bears? Their crowning achievement is the 2003 renovation of ancient Soldier Field. It was a punt that essentially gave the iconic stadium to the city. "The Bears are one of the least innovative teams in the NFL," says Marc Ganis, the president of Chicago consultancy SportsCorp.

Even in the revenues that are unshared with the rest of the NFL, the Bears have been laggards. The Patriots have half of Chicago's metropolitan population (4.5 million versus Chicago's 9.6 million). Yet New England made an estimated $12.8 million in local broadcast revenues (TV and radio) last year, compared to the Bears' $8.3 million. If the Bears have been good at anything, it's at keeping payroll down. Since forbes began tracking team values in 1998, the Bears have never made the NFL's top ten for paying talent.

(ANGER)