How you crappin'?

[Quality Start Machine]

Fortunately for my parents, I never presented any issues in the fecal area.

When I reached my teens, I actually put a bookshelf in the bathroom that was only accessible through my bedroom.

Which was cool, except for when my fucking dad would slip in and steal my MAD magazines.

[Chuck to Chuck]

I was potty trained on or about 2/27/1970. That was the day my baby sister came home from the hosiptal.

"Oh, you gonna bring that thing in the house? Look what *I* can do!

PAY THE FUCK ATTENTION TO ME!!!"

[flannj]

Nobody gives me fucking ice cream when I do a poo on the bog, and yet somehow when I shit myself it's apparently a bad thing and all my fault.  Fuck sake.

still the best joke ever told

[Saul Goodman]

Nobody gives me fucking ice cream when I do a poo on the bog, and yet somehow when I shit myself it's apparently a bad thing and all my fault.  Fuck sake.

Hey, randomly, I was thinking about you the other day. I hope I'm not calling you out or anything, but how's your fitness quest going?

I gained back 20 or so pounds in the last 10 months, but it's coming off again as I starve myself and continue running most days.

That's nice, but how are you crapping though.

[Tonker]

Nobody gives me fucking ice cream when I do a poo on the bog, and yet somehow when I shit myself it's apparently a bad thing and all my fault.  Fuck sake.

Hey, randomly, I was thinking about you the other day. I hope I'm not calling you out or anything, but how's your fitness quest going?

I gained back 20 or so pounds in the last 10 months, but it's coming off again as I starve myself and continue running most days.

Oh, it nearly all went back on again last year.  The time in Asia mostly meant that running was impossible, and I was eating three meals a day in restaurants and drinking every night.  So I'm starting all over again.  I regret nothing.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Nobody gives me fucking ice cream when I do a poo on the bog, and yet somehow when I shit myself it's apparently a bad thing and all my fault.  Fuck sake.

Hey, randomly, I was thinking about you the other day. I hope I'm not calling you out or anything, but how's your fitness quest going?

I gained back 20 or so pounds in the last 10 months, but it's coming off again as I starve myself and continue running most days.

Oh, it nearly all went back on again last year.  The time in Asia mostly meant that running was impossible, and I was eating three meals a day in restaurants and drinking every night.  So I'm starting all over again.  I regret nothing.

Good man.

[Tony]

My kid figured out the pee thing with no problem, but other than a handful of times he won't shit on the potty. We had him in underwear for a couple of weeks but had to go back to diapers because of the poop problem. Now he's decided he doesn't want to stop playing to pee, and since he's got a diaper on again he just says fuck it and pisses in the diaper. So daycare has taken the diaper off totally, forcing him to at least pee in the potty, and hopefully poop too.

A couple of days ago he was playing with his trains when we got home, stopped and stood up, shook his leg until a turd rolled out of his pant leg, and went back to playing like it was nothing.

[Canadouche]

Nobody gives me fucking ice cream when I do a poo on the bog, and yet somehow when I shit myself it's apparently a bad thing and all my fault.  Fuck sake.

Hey, randomly, I was thinking about you the other day. I hope I'm not calling you out or anything, but how's your fitness quest going?

I gained back 20 or so pounds in the last 10 months, but it's coming off again as I starve myself and continue running most days.

Oh, it nearly all went back on again last year.  The time in Asia mostly meant that running was impossible, and I was eating three meals a day in restaurants and drinking every night.  So I'm starting all over again.  I regret nothing.

Yeah, I had enough trouble trying to run daily in the Canadian summer heat and humidity. Fuck trying to run in Asia. I should be back under 200 by this weekend; long term goal is to re-reach 175 and actually stay there this time.

[Canadouche]

My kid figured out the pee thing with no problem, but other than a handful of times he won't shit on the potty. We had him in underwear for a couple of weeks but had to go back to diapers because of the poop problem. Now he's decided he doesn't want to stop playing to pee, and since he's got a diaper on again he just says fuck it and pisses in the diaper. So daycare has taken the diaper off totally, forcing him to at least pee in the potty, and hopefully poop too.

A couple of days ago he was playing with his trains when we got home, stopped and stood up, shook his leg until a turd rolled out of his pant leg, and went back to playing like it was nothing.

Poop for Scoops. Try it out.

[Quality Start Machine]

My kid figured out the pee thing with no problem, but other than a handful of times he won't shit on the potty. We had him in underwear for a couple of weeks but had to go back to diapers because of the poop problem. Now he's decided he doesn't want to stop playing to pee, and since he's got a diaper on again he just says fuck it and pisses in the diaper. So daycare has taken the diaper off totally, forcing him to at least pee in the potty, and hopefully poop too.

A couple of days ago he was playing with his trains when we got home, stopped and stood up, shook his leg until a turd rolled out of his pant leg, and went back to playing like it was nothing.

So young, and already has zero fucks to give.

[Bort]

My kid figured out the pee thing with no problem, but other than a handful of times he won't shit on the potty. We had him in underwear for a couple of weeks but had to go back to diapers because of the poop problem. Now he's decided he doesn't want to stop playing to pee, and since he's got a diaper on again he just says fuck it and pisses in the diaper. So daycare has taken the diaper off totally, forcing him to at least pee in the potty, and hopefully poop too.

A couple of days ago he was playing with his trains when we got home, stopped and stood up, shook his leg until a turd rolled out of his pant leg, and went back to playing like it was nothing.

I commiserate, but also I LOLed at the last sentence.

[Oleg]

My kid figured out the pee thing with no problem, but other than a handful of times he won't shit on the potty. We had him in underwear for a couple of weeks but had to go back to diapers because of the poop problem. Now he's decided he doesn't want to stop playing to pee, and since he's got a diaper on again he just says fuck it and pisses in the diaper. So daycare has taken the diaper off totally, forcing him to at least pee in the potty, and hopefully poop too.

A couple of days ago he was playing with his trains when we got home, stopped and stood up, shook his leg until a turd rolled out of his pant leg, and went back to playing like it was nothing.

#LifeGoals

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

My kid figured out the pee thing with no problem, but other than a handful of times he won't shit on the potty. We had him in underwear for a couple of weeks but had to go back to diapers because of the poop problem. Now he's decided he doesn't want to stop playing to pee, and since he's got a diaper on again he just says fuck it and pisses in the diaper. So daycare has taken the diaper off totally, forcing him to at least pee in the potty, and hopefully poop too.

A couple of days ago he was playing with his trains when we got home, stopped and stood up, shook his leg until a turd rolled out of his pant leg, and went back to playing like it was nothing.

I commiserate, but also I LOLed at the last sentence.

Same.  That's a pro move by junior.

[Chuck to Chuck]

My kid figured out the pee thing with no problem, but other than a handful of times he won't shit on the potty. We had him in underwear for a couple of weeks but had to go back to diapers because of the poop problem. Now he's decided he doesn't want to stop playing to pee, and since he's got a diaper on again he just says fuck it and pisses in the diaper. So daycare has taken the diaper off totally, forcing him to at least pee in the potty, and hopefully poop too.

A couple of days ago he was playing with his trains when we got home, stopped and stood up, shook his leg until a turd rolled out of his pant leg, and went back to playing like it was nothing.

Kid's dehydrated.

[Uncouth Sloth]

30 dollar add-a-bidet:

https://smile.amazon.com/Greenco-Non-Electric-Mechanical-Toilet-Attachment/dp/B01A17T3N6/ref=sr_1_8?s=kitchen-bath&ie=UTF8&qid=1518729269&sr=1-8&keywords=bidet