How you crappin'?

[Quality Start Machine]

Maybe they used one of those anti-bacterial wipes and knowing that those aren't supposed to flush, simply folded it up in a newspaper and trashed it. And turning around to realize the fine work they'd done, they left that for you to admire and ponder. For the rest of your life.

That would make it awesome - however knowing where Oleg works, I've seen the same thing and the direct opposite thing too many times to know that your scenario is impossible.

For example, how many times have I walked into a stall only to instinctively recoil in horror at the aftermath of the murder of an entire roll of toilet paper. It sure stinks like someone dooked in there but I'll be damned if I can see anything. It's just paper layered upon paper.

So tell me Desipio - how does this happen? Who wipes their ass with an entire forest and just leaves it there? That's not an art. That's a hate crime.

That is certainly is. If that toilet doesn't have enough strength, that forest along with what's lurking underneath could wind up on the floor chasing you from the bathroom.

My freshman year at Bradley I lived in the basement of the oldest residence hall on campus. The bathroom on our floor had four stalls. Starting during second semester, at least one of those toilets clogged every day and flooded the entire bathroom, but the odd thing was that the flood-toilet changed every day, so no one knew how to avoid it. You'd go into a perfectly clean bathroom, take a seat in what had been the safe toilet the day before, and settle in to do your business. Next thing you know the guy in the stall next to you flushes and the entire floor is filled with a murky brown water. I had to throw away three pairs of flip-flops because of that. Even worse was when I'd be in the shower and you'd come out to a lagoon of shit on the floor and have to figure out how to make it back to the door without dropping any of the towel/clothes/shampoo/soap etc. It was hell. The bastard maintenance guy in charge of our floor would never actually try to fix the toilets either. He'd just clean up the mess and put a sign on whichever stall he thought was malfunctioning that day. He was typically wrong.

I'm working "lagoon of shit" into at least one conversation today.

[Indolent Reader]

My sophomore year of college there was a fellow (or lady) who took sheer and utter delight in pooping in various unconventional places.  These ranged from the simple (bathroom sink) to the gloriously horrific (microwave, which he then turned on afterward).  That's all this thread reminds me of.

The best part was the fact that after the cleaning staff "cleaned" the microwave, they then put it right back.  

[Slaky]

My sophomore year of college there was a fellow (or lady) who took sheer and utter delight in pooping in various unconventional places.  These ranged from the simple (bathroom sink) to the gloriously horrific (microwave, which he then turned on afterward).  That's all this thread reminds me of.

The best part was the fact that after the cleaning staff "cleaned" the microwave, they then put it right back.  

The identity of this person was never discovered? Wow.

[SKO]

Maybe they used one of those anti-bacterial wipes and knowing that those aren't supposed to flush, simply folded it up in a newspaper and trashed it. And turning around to realize the fine work they'd done, they left that for you to admire and ponder. For the rest of your life.

That would make it awesome - however knowing where Oleg works, I've seen the same thing and the direct opposite thing too many times to know that your scenario is impossible.

For example, how many times have I walked into a stall only to instinctively recoil in horror at the aftermath of the murder of an entire roll of toilet paper. It sure stinks like someone dooked in there but I'll be damned if I can see anything. It's just paper layered upon paper.

So tell me Desipio - how does this happen? Who wipes their ass with an entire forest and just leaves it there? That's not an art. That's a hate crime.

That is certainly is. If that toilet doesn't have enough strength, that forest along with what's lurking underneath could wind up on the floor chasing you from the bathroom.

My freshman year at Bradley I lived in the basement of the oldest residence hall on campus. The bathroom on our floor had four stalls. Starting during second semester, at least one of those toilets clogged every day and flooded the entire bathroom, but the odd thing was that the flood-toilet changed every day, so no one knew how to avoid it. You'd go into a perfectly clean bathroom, take a seat in what had been the safe toilet the day before, and settle in to do your business. Next thing you know the guy in the stall next to you flushes and the entire floor is filled with a murky brown water. I had to throw away three pairs of flip-flops because of that. Even worse was when I'd be in the shower and you'd come out to a lagoon of shit on the floor and have to figure out how to make it back to the door without dropping any of the towel/clothes/shampoo/soap etc. It was hell. The bastard maintenance guy in charge of our floor would never actually try to fix the toilets either. He'd just clean up the mess and put a sign on whichever stall he thought was malfunctioning that day. He was typically wrong.

I'm working "lagoon of shit" into at least one conversation today.

I'll be cashing in on the royalty checks, then. It's the same reason George Lucas changed his mind and went with the Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull rather than Indiana Jones and the Lagoon of Shit, which I think would have suited the film better.

[Internet Apex]

Maybe they used one of those anti-bacterial wipes and knowing that those aren't supposed to flush, simply folded it up in a newspaper and trashed it. And turning around to realize the fine work they'd done, they left that for you to admire and ponder. For the rest of your life.

That would make it awesome - however knowing where Oleg works, I've seen the same thing and the direct opposite thing too many times to know that your scenario is impossible.

For example, how many times have I walked into a stall only to instinctively recoil in horror at the aftermath of the murder of an entire roll of toilet paper. It sure stinks like someone dooked in there but I'll be damned if I can see anything. It's just paper layered upon paper.

So tell me Desipio - how does this happen? Who wipes their ass with an entire forest and just leaves it there? That's not an art. That's a hate crime.

That is certainly is. If that toilet doesn't have enough strength, that forest along with what's lurking underneath could wind up on the floor chasing you from the bathroom.

My freshman year at Bradley I lived in the basement of the oldest residence hall on campus. The bathroom on our floor had four stalls. Starting during second semester, at least one of those toilets clogged every day and flooded the entire bathroom, but the odd thing was that the flood-toilet changed every day, so no one knew how to avoid it. You'd go into a perfectly clean bathroom, take a seat in what had been the safe toilet the day before, and settle in to do your business. Next thing you know the guy in the stall next to you flushes and the entire floor is filled with a murky brown water. I had to throw away three pairs of flip-flops because of that. Even worse was when I'd be in the shower and you'd come out to a lagoon of shit on the floor and have to figure out how to make it back to the door without dropping any of the towel/clothes/shampoo/soap etc. It was hell. The bastard maintenance guy in charge of our floor would never actually try to fix the toilets either. He'd just clean up the mess and put a sign on whichever stall he thought was malfunctioning that day. He was typically wrong.

I'm working "lagoon of shit" into at least one conversation today.

Discussion of the Cubs' bullpen seems appropriate.

[Richard Chuggar]

My sophomore year of college there was a fellow (or lady) who took sheer and utter delight in pooping in various unconventional places.  These ranged from the simple (bathroom sink) to the gloriously horrific (microwave, which he then turned on afterward).  That's all this thread reminds me of.

The best part was the fact that after the cleaning staff "cleaned" the microwave, they then put it right back.  

We get it, you're a liar.

[CT III]

My sophomore year of college there was a fellow (or lady) who took sheer and utter delight in pooping in various unconventional places.  These ranged from the simple (bathroom sink) to the gloriously horrific (microwave, which he then turned on afterward).  That's all this thread reminds me of.

The best part was the fact that after the cleaning staff "cleaned" the microwave, they then put it right back.  

We get it, you're a liar.

That stuff never happened at University of Phoenix, eh TDubbs?

[Indolent Reader]

My sophomore year of college there was a fellow (or lady) who took sheer and utter delight in pooping in various unconventional places.  These ranged from the simple (bathroom sink) to the gloriously horrific (microwave, which he then turned on afterward).  That's all this thread reminds me of.

The best part was the fact that after the cleaning staff "cleaned" the microwave, they then put it right back.  

We get it, you're a liar.

I wish.

[PenFoe]

My sophomore year of college there was a fellow (or lady) who took sheer and utter delight in pooping in various unconventional places.  These ranged from the simple (bathroom sink) to the gloriously horrific (microwave, which he then turned on afterward).  That's all this thread reminds me of.

The best part was the fact that after the cleaning staff "cleaned" the microwave, they then put it right back.  

Guy I went to school with took a crap in a bag, put it in one of the dryers and turned it on.
He thought it was the funniest thing ever.

I thought he was an asshole thereafter.

[Tinker to Evers to Chance]

One of my old Army buddies once served in a unit where one of the Soldiers used to take a shit on the Company Commander's HMM-WV.  In broad daylight.

To do this without getting caught, a man has to get on and off the objective in under a minute.

No one ever learned the man's name, but his legend will live on forever.

[Waco Kid]

A friend of ours college used to do what he called power shitting, basically shitting in the least amount of time possible. He would head to the bathroom, crap, wipe, and return somewhere in between 30-40 seconds.

[Jon]

I honestly know surprisingly little about the shitting habits of my coworkers and college roommates. I feel left out.

[PenFoe]

A friend of ours college used to do what he called power shitting, basically shitting in the least amount of time possible. He would head to the bathroom, crap, wipe, and return somewhere in between 30-40 seconds.

I don't get this at all.
I'm a "print out a decent length article" kind of guy.

A few moments of peace, if you ask me.

[Jon]

A friend of ours college used to do what he called power shitting, basically shitting in the least amount of time possible. He would head to the bathroom, crap, wipe, and return somewhere in between 30-40 seconds.

I don't get this at all.
I'm a "print out a decent length article" kind of guy.

A few moments of peace, if you ask me.

Yeah. It seems like a waste of a perfectly good excuse for a break.

[Slaky]

A friend of ours college used to do what he called power shitting, basically shitting in the least amount of time possible. He would head to the bathroom, crap, wipe, and return somewhere in between 30-40 seconds.

I don't get this at all.
I'm a "print out a decent length article" kind of guy.

A few moments of peace, if you ask me.

Yeah. It seems like a waste of a perfectly good excuse for a break.

I can understand powershitting in college. You want to get back to general goodtimery with your friends. Powershitting at work is inexcusable.