Spring Has Sprung 2010

[SKO]

I'm willing to bet I was the only watching Chicago Tribune Live this afternoon (maybe Dolan was) so I'll explain. They had Chuck Garfein interview the recently departed Kevin Millar. Essentially, Garfein fawned over him like a pre-teen girl would fawn over someone that wasn't a pudwhack. Then they had a discussion involving KC Johnson (who I like), Teddy Greensti and David Schuster (who I hate with the passion of three billion Theriots) where the basic agreement was that Millar was the obvious choice over Fuld, Tracy and Kittle II because of his quotability and of course because he helped break a curse in Boston. Yes, those are the reasons you keep a baseball player.

These people are paid to write and talk about sports.

I feel like I'm living in a world of retarded people.

I think Kevin Millar might have been a brilliant ploy by Jim Hendry and Lou Piniella to make sure the media busied themselves writing puff pieces and seeking a quote from that assbag rather than grilling them over things like Bradley, the bullpen, the possibility of a fire sale if the team fails, etc.

[R-V]

Teddy Greensti

That's a winner.

I feel like I'm living in a world of retarded people.

Sometimes I get mad at my dad for saying things like "so and so isn't clutch" or "you gotta love guys like Theriot" but I guess it's not really his fault. Guys that are his and Pen's age have spent the majority of their lives with shitheels like Schuster and Garfien and Phil FuckingRogers as their only source of sports analysis. I'm just glad that the internet exists so I can avoid shelfturds like those guys and yet still keep up with the goings on of my teams.

[SKO]

Teddy Greensti

That's a winner.

I feel like I'm living in a world of retarded people.

Sometimes I get mad at my dad for saying things like "so and so isn't clutch" or "you gotta love guys like Theriot" but I guess it's not really his fault. Guys that are his and Pen's age have spent the majority of their lives with shitheels like Schuster and Garfien and Phil FuckingRogers as their only source of sports analysis. I'm just glad that the internet exists so I can avoid shelfturds like those guys and yet still keep up with the goings on of my teams.

Exactly. My dad's the same way. It's bred into 'em. They're God-fearing, hard-working, 'Mericans and damnit they like they're ballplayers scrappy, their beer cold, and their lawns free of God damned kids.

[Pre]

These people are paid to write and talk about sports.

I really wonder what the local sports writers/tv douches make, because I really don't
think it's very much.  I envision the jobs as inconvenient hours with mediocre pay and
full of dealing with awful people and even more awful network suits.  There's a lot of
jobs that sound idyllic, but in actuality I would never trade my current soulless job for
(I'm not BCing here, my current job is a good situation, but it's not watching and
discussing sports.)

I just finished reading (well, listening to anyways) a book about the Brooklyn Dodgers
for no apparent reason because I don't like the Dodgers and I hate New Yorkers
talking about themselves in their too-ignorant-to-be-solipsistic inanity, but I picked it
up over the winter when I'm weak for anything baseball related.  Anyways, the real
interesting thing to me was all these fans being interviewed just complained about
how once blacks started going to the games the fans couldn't appreciate the
Dodger's Symphony they had playing between innings or how much they loved
Hank Greenberg because he was Jewish.  And that's when I realized that the game
has always had the same idiot fans and that there never was a golden era of baseball,
unless it was in the 1800s and then who gives a fuck because no one knows anything
about it.

And, well, I'll say I because I'd hate to start presuming for everyone with a we, but I
think I've fallen too far into the counter culture rage against the idiots all I am is a rat
in a cubicle thing and I'm letting my hatred of people who don't actually enjoy
_baseball_ ruin my ability to enjoy it myself.  

Fuck that all, this year I'm enjoying baseball.  I'm leaving regressing to the mean, and
the fact that it's almost always a bad idea to bunt or steal, and the idea that the idea
of clutch hitting is a myth at home and I'm going to cheer on my favorites and clap for
Silva if he manages to get through an inning without shitting himself and enjoy the games
they win and enjoy exciting plays, and maybe even make an occasional excuse when
they lose.  I'm going to believe in hot streaks (but never players being due for a hit,
because that one is just dumb) and when it's close and late I hope to fuck that Ramirez
is at the plate.  I'm going to go ahead and believe they can win the Central.

I'm still not singing the guest conducted 7th inning stretch.

[SKO]

These people are paid to write and talk about sports.

I really wonder what the local sports writers/tv douches make, because I really don't
think it's very much.  I envision the jobs as inconvenient hours with mediocre pay and
full of dealing with awful people and even more awful network suits.  There's a lot of
jobs that sound idyllic, but in actuality I would never trade my current soulless job for
(I'm not BCing here, my current job is a good situation, but it's not watching and
discussing sports.)

I just finished reading (well, listening to anyways) a book about the Brooklyn Dodgers
for no apparent reason because I don't like the Dodgers and I hate New Yorkers
talking about themselves in their too-ignorant-to-be-solipsistic inanity, but I picked it
up over the winter when I'm weak for anything baseball related.  Anyways, the real
interesting thing to me was all these fans being interviewed just complained about
how once blacks started going to the games the fans couldn't appreciate the
Dodger's Symphony they had playing between innings or how much they loved
Hank Greenberg because he was Jewish.  And that's when I realized that the game
has always had the same idiot fans and that there never was a golden era of baseball,
unless it was in the 1800s and then who gives a fuck because no one knows anything
about it.

And, well, I'll say I because I'd hate to start presuming for everyone with a we, but I
think I've fallen too far into the counter culture rage against the idiots all I am is a rat
in a cubicle thing and I'm letting my hatred of people who don't actually enjoy
_baseball_ ruin my ability to enjoy it myself.  

Fuck that all, this year I'm enjoying baseball.  I'm leaving regressing to the mean, and
the fact that it's almost always a bad idea to bunt or steal, and the idea that the idea
of clutch hitting is a myth at home and I'm going to cheer on my favorites and clap for
Silva if he manages to get through an inning without shitting himself and enjoy the games
they win and enjoy exciting plays, and maybe even make an occasional excuse when
they lose.  I'm going to believe in hot streaks (but never players being due for a hit,
because that one is just dumb) and when it's close and late I hope to fuck that Ramirez
is at the plate.  I'm going to go ahead and believe they can win the Central.

I'm still not singing the guest conducted 7th inning stretch.

Don't sell the farm, Pre.

[Saul Goodman]

MSNBC fired David Shuster?

Edit - Whoa.  I guess I don't listen to the Score very often.

[Internet Apex]

Teddy Greensti

That's a winner.

I feel like I'm living in a world of retarded people.

Sometimes I get mad at my dad for saying things like "so and so isn't clutch" or "you gotta love guys like Theriot" but I guess it's not really his fault. Guys that are his and Pen's age have spent the majority of their lives with shitheels like Schuster and Garfien and Phil FuckingRogers as their only source of sports analysis. I'm just glad that the internet exists so I can avoid shelfturds like those guys and yet still keep up with the goings on of my teams.

Exactly. My dad's the same way. It's bred into 'em. They're God-fearing, hard-working, 'Mericans and damnit they like they're ballplayers scrappy, their beer cold, and their lawns free of God damned kids.

THI

[Kermit IV]

Teddy Greensti

That's a winner.

I feel like I'm living in a world of retarded people.

Sometimes I get mad at my dad for saying things like "so and so isn't clutch" or "you gotta love guys like Theriot" but I guess it's not really his fault. Guys that are his and Pen's age have spent the majority of their lives with shitheels like Schuster and Garfien and Phil FuckingRogers as their only source of sports analysis. I'm just glad that the internet exists so I can avoid shelfturds like those guys and yet still keep up with the goings on of my teams.

Awesome.

[Bort]

Teddy Greensti

That's a winner.

I feel like I'm living in a world of retarded people.

Sometimes I get mad at my dad for saying things like "so and so isn't clutch" or "you gotta love guys like Theriot" but I guess it's not really his fault. Guys that are his and Pen's age have spent the majority of their lives with shitheels like Schuster and Garfien and Phil FuckingRogers as their only source of sports analysis. I'm just glad that the internet exists so I can avoid shelfturds like those guys and yet still keep up with the goings on of my teams.

Awesome.

[Tdubbs]We get it, you want to have RV's babies.[/TDubbs]

[R-V]

Teddy Greensti

That's a winner.

I feel like I'm living in a world of retarded people.

Sometimes I get mad at my dad for saying things like "so and so isn't clutch" or "you gotta love guys like Theriot" but I guess it's not really his fault. Guys that are his and Pen's age have spent the majority of their lives with shitheels like Schuster and Garfien and Phil FuckingRogers as their only source of sports analysis. I'm just glad that the internet exists so I can avoid shelfturds like those guys and yet still keep up with the goings on of my teams.

Awesome.

[Tdubbs]We get it, you want to have RV's babies.[/TDubbs]

You are the lowest form of internet partial birth abortion.

[Bort]

Teddy Greensti

That's a winner.

I feel like I'm living in a world of retarded people.

Sometimes I get mad at my dad for saying things like "so and so isn't clutch" or "you gotta love guys like Theriot" but I guess it's not really his fault. Guys that are his and Pen's age have spent the majority of their lives with shitheels like Schuster and Garfien and Phil FuckingRogers as their only source of sports analysis. I'm just glad that the internet exists so I can avoid shelfturds like those guys and yet still keep up with the goings on of my teams.

Awesome.

[Tdubbs]We get it, you want to have RV's babies.[/TDubbs]

You are the lowest form of internet partial birth abortion.

Yeti?

[R-V]

Teddy Greensti

That's a winner.

I feel like I'm living in a world of retarded people.

Sometimes I get mad at my dad for saying things like "so and so isn't clutch" or "you gotta love guys like Theriot" but I guess it's not really his fault. Guys that are his and Pen's age have spent the majority of their lives with shitheels like Schuster and Garfien and Phil FuckingRogers as their only source of sports analysis. I'm just glad that the internet exists so I can avoid shelfturds like those guys and yet still keep up with the goings on of my teams.

Exactly. My dad's the same way. It's bred into 'em. They're God-fearing, hard-working, 'Mericans and damnit they like they're ballplayers scrappy, their beer cold, and their lawns free of God damned kids.

As if on que, the Tribune posted a couple stories for our dads that Pre should stay away from if he wants to maintain his sunny disposition.

There were no major injuries except Angel Guzman's shoulder tear, no real controversies except for a couple of pronouncements by ex-Cub Milton Bradley in the New York Times and on ESPN, and virtually no questions about the Billy Goat, the 102-year drought or Alfonso Soriano batting leadoff.

No major injuries if you don't count that season-ending one to your 8th inning setup guy.

One name was conspicuously missing when Tom Gorzelanny talked about how much Greg Maddux and his veteran teammates have helped him this spring. He mentioned Ryan Dempster and the rehabilitating Ted Lilly specifically, but not the supposed staff leader, Carlos Zambrano.

But baseball's best players have often been its most selfish -- something they rarely teach you in Little League.

[PenFoe]

Teddy Greensti

That's a winner.

I feel like I'm living in a world of retarded people.

Sometimes I get mad at my dad for saying things like "so and so isn't clutch" or "you gotta love guys like Theriot" but I guess it's not really his fault. Guys that are his and Pen's age have spent the majority of their lives with shitheels like Schuster and Garfien and Phil FuckingRogers as their only source of sports analysis. I'm just glad that the internet exists so I can avoid shelfturds like those guys and yet still keep up with the goings on of my teams.

Exactly. My dad's the same way. It's bred into 'em. They're God-fearing, hard-working, 'Mericans and damnit they like they're ballplayers scrappy, their beer cold, and their lawns free of God damned kids.

As if on que, the Tribune posted a couple stories for our dads that Pre should stay away from if he wants to maintain his sunny disposition.

There were no major injuries except Angel Guzman's shoulder tear, no real controversies except for a couple of pronouncements by ex-Cub Milton Bradley in the New York Times and on ESPN, and virtually no questions about the Billy Goat, the 102-year drought or Alfonso Soriano batting leadoff.

No major injuries if you don't count that season-ending one to your 8th inning setup guy.

One name was conspicuously missing when Tom Gorzelanny talked about how much Greg Maddux and his veteran teammates have helped him this spring. He mentioned Ryan Dempster and the rehabilitating Ted Lilly specifically, but not the supposed staff leader, Carlos Zambrano.

But baseball's best players have often been its most selfish -- something they rarely teach you in Little League.

All this other awfulness aside...who ever considered Carlos Zambrano the "staff leader"?

[Slaky]

Teddy Greensti

That's a winner.

I feel like I'm living in a world of retarded people.

Sometimes I get mad at my dad for saying things like "so and so isn't clutch" or "you gotta love guys like Theriot" but I guess it's not really his fault. Guys that are his and Pen's age have spent the majority of their lives with shitheels like Schuster and Garfien and Phil FuckingRogers as their only source of sports analysis. I'm just glad that the internet exists so I can avoid shelfturds like those guys and yet still keep up with the goings on of my teams.

Exactly. My dad's the same way. It's bred into 'em. They're God-fearing, hard-working, 'Mericans and damnit they like they're ballplayers scrappy, their beer cold, and their lawns free of God damned kids.

As if on que, the Tribune posted a couple stories for our dads that Pre should stay away from if he wants to maintain his sunny disposition.

There were no major injuries except Angel Guzman's shoulder tear, no real controversies except for a couple of pronouncements by ex-Cub Milton Bradley in the New York Times and on ESPN, and virtually no questions about the Billy Goat, the 102-year drought or Alfonso Soriano batting leadoff.

No major injuries if you don't count that season-ending one to your 8th inning setup guy.

One name was conspicuously missing when Tom Gorzelanny talked about how much Greg Maddux and his veteran teammates have helped him this spring. He mentioned Ryan Dempster and the rehabilitating Ted Lilly specifically, but not the supposed staff leader, Carlos Zambrano.

But baseball's best players have often been its most selfish -- something they rarely teach you in Little League.

All this other awfulness aside...who ever considered Carlos Zambrano the "staff leader"?

If he's not out there giving sage advice, what good is he? I don't measure a pitcher by his statistics, rather by lives touched with genuine wisdom.

How many LTWGW is Zambrano going to have this year? Not enough, Pen. Not enough.

[Shooter]

Teddy Greensti

That's a winner.

I feel like I'm living in a world of retarded people.

Sometimes I get mad at my dad for saying things like "so and so isn't clutch" or "you gotta love guys like Theriot" but I guess it's not really his fault. Guys that are his and Pen's age have spent the majority of their lives with shitheels like Schuster and Garfien and Phil FuckingRogers as their only source of sports analysis. I'm just glad that the internet exists so I can avoid shelfturds like those guys and yet still keep up with the goings on of my teams.

Exactly. My dad's the same way. It's bred into 'em. They're God-fearing, hard-working, 'Mericans and damnit they like they're ballplayers scrappy, their beer cold, and their lawns free of God damned kids.

As if on que, the Tribune posted a couple stories for our dads that Pre should stay away from if he wants to maintain his sunny disposition.

There were no major injuries except Angel Guzman's shoulder tear, no real controversies except for a couple of pronouncements by ex-Cub Milton Bradley in the New York Times and on ESPN, and virtually no questions about the Billy Goat, the 102-year drought or Alfonso Soriano batting leadoff.

No major injuries if you don't count that season-ending one to your 8th inning setup guy.

One name was conspicuously missing when Tom Gorzelanny talked about how much Greg Maddux and his veteran teammates have helped him this spring. He mentioned Ryan Dempster and the rehabilitating Ted Lilly specifically, but not the supposed staff leader, Carlos Zambrano.

But baseball's best players have often been its most selfish -- something they rarely teach you in Little League.

All this other awfulness aside...who ever considered Carlos Zambrano the "staff leader"?

If he's not out their giving sage advice, what good is he? I don't measure a pitcher by his statistics, rather by lives touched with genuine wisdom.

He touched a lot of people.