Starlin Castro Unbridled Manlove with a Side Order of Sploogetasticism Thread

[Pre]

Yeah, if you're insecure enough that you're afraid that a random stranger out of a crowd of 40,000+ drunk morans is going to take a gander at your warhammer and get some secret Chad urge that he has to repress by calling some other dude a faggot, you should probably just stop going to public restrooms, period. Frankly I like that I can go to a venue that large and still take less than 5 minutes to get from seat to pisser and back. Saves me the time I need to hurl as many racial epithets as possible at Milton Bradley.

I don't mind the troughs at all, but the newer stadium setups with more,
smaller bathrooms definitely leads to generally lower seat-piss-seat time across
all the set of seats.  That said, I'd rather they spend the money on minor
league development.

[Oleg]

Yeah, if you're insecure enough that you're afraid that a random stranger out of a crowd of 40,000+ drunk morans is going to take a gander at your warhammer and get some secret Chad urge that he has to repress by calling some other dude a faggot, you should probably just stop going to public restrooms, period. Frankly I like that I can go to a venue that large and still take less than 5 minutes to get from seat to pisser and back. Saves me the time I need to hurl as many racial epithets as possible at Milton Bradley.

So you finally learn how to hail a cab and you're a Big Man, is that it?

Okay, fine. I didn't hail the fucking cab. The guy I was travelling with called the cab. The secret's out. I'm not as cool as you all thought I was. Are you happy now, CT? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

Fuckin hayseed.

[Jon]

Yeah, if you're insecure enough that you're afraid that a random stranger out of a crowd of 40,000+ drunk morans is going to take a gander at your warhammer and get some secret Chad urge that he has to repress by calling some other dude a faggot, you should probably just stop going to public restrooms, period. Frankly I like that I can go to a venue that large and still take less than 5 minutes to get from seat to pisser and back. Saves me the time I need to hurl as many racial epithets as possible at Milton Bradley.

So you finally learn how to hail a cab and you're a Big Man, is that it?

Okay, fine. I didn't hail the fucking cab. The guy I was travelling with called the cab. The secret's out. I'm not as cool as you all thought I was. Are you happy now, CT? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

Fuckin hayseed.

I'm pretty sure CT will never be happy until they bring Prell back in the glass bottle.

[CT III]

Yeah, if you're insecure enough that you're afraid that a random stranger out of a crowd of 40,000+ drunk morans is going to take a gander at your warhammer and get some secret Chad urge that he has to repress by calling some other dude a faggot, you should probably just stop going to public restrooms, period. Frankly I like that I can go to a venue that large and still take less than 5 minutes to get from seat to pisser and back. Saves me the time I need to hurl as many racial epithets as possible at Milton Bradley.

So you finally learn how to hail a cab and you're a Big Man, is that it?

Okay, fine. I didn't hail the fucking cab. The guy I was travelling with called the cab. The secret's out. I'm not as cool as you all thought I was. Are you happy now, CT? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

Fuckin hayseed.

I'm pretty sure CT will never be happy until they bring Prell back in the glass bottle.

Until then, I remain deeply cynical.

[Quality Start Machine]

Yeah, if you're insecure enough that you're afraid that a random stranger out of a crowd of 40,000+ drunk morans is going to take a gander at your warhammer and get some secret Chad urge that he has to repress by calling some other dude a faggot, you should probably just stop going to public restrooms, period. Frankly I like that I can go to a venue that large and still take less than 5 minutes to get from seat to pisser and back. Saves me the time I need to hurl as many racial epithets as possible at Milton Bradley.

It's not insecurity. I'm just looking for an excuse to piss on Apex's leg.

[Powdered Toast Man]

Yeah, if you're insecure enough that you're afraid that a random stranger out of a crowd of 40,000+ drunk morans is going to take a gander at your warhammer and get some secret Chad urge that he has to repress by calling some other dude a faggot, you should probably just stop going to public restrooms, period. Frankly I like that I can go to a venue that large and still take less than 5 minutes to get from seat to pisser and back. Saves me the time I need to hurl as many racial epithets as possible at Milton Bradley.

It's not insecurity. I'm just looking for an excuse to piss on Apex's leg.

I successfully hailed a cab in Chicago.  IT WAS AWESOME.  It was my first cab ride.

[Yeti]

Yeah, if you're insecure enough that you're afraid that a random stranger out of a crowd of 40,000+ drunk morans is going to take a gander at your warhammer and get some secret Chad urge that he has to repress by calling some other dude a faggot, you should probably just stop going to public restrooms, period. Frankly I like that I can go to a venue that large and still take less than 5 minutes to get from seat to pisser and back. Saves me the time I need to hurl as many racial epithets as possible at Milton Bradley.

It's not insecurity. I'm just looking for an excuse to piss on Apex's leg.

I successfully hailed a cab in Chicago.  IT WAS AWESOME.  It was my first cab ride.

My first cab ride entailed improper lane usage, speeding, and running a red light. Couple that with the head I got from Tdubbs and CT's coat, it was a great experience.

[Eli]

My first cab ride entailed improper lane usage, speeding, and running a red light.

Obviously, that's every cab ride.

[Dr. Nguyen Van Falk]

Yeah, if you're insecure enough that you're afraid that a random stranger out of a crowd of 40,000+ drunk morans is going to take a gander at your warhammer and get some secret Chad urge that he has to repress by calling some other dude a faggot, you should probably just stop going to public restrooms, period. Frankly I like that I can go to a venue that large and still take less than 5 minutes to get from seat to pisser and back. Saves me the time I need to hurl as many racial epithets as possible at Milton Bradley.

It's not insecurity. I'm just looking for an excuse to piss on Apex's leg.

I successfully hailed a cab in Chicago.  IT WAS AWESOME.  It was my first cab ride.

So there's hope that some day you'll figure out how the "Quote" button works, too?

[Gilgamesh]

Yeah, if you're insecure enough that you're afraid that a random stranger out of a crowd of 40,000+ drunk morans is going to take a gander at your warhammer and get some secret Chad urge that he has to repress by calling some other dude a faggot, you should probably just stop going to public restrooms, period. Frankly I like that I can go to a venue that large and still take less than 5 minutes to get from seat to pisser and back. Saves me the time I need to hurl as many racial epithets as possible at Milton Bradley.

It's not insecurity. I'm just looking for an excuse to piss on Apex's leg.

I successfully hailed a cab in Chicago.  IT WAS AWESOME.  It was my first cab ride.

So there's hope that some day you'll figure out how the "Quote" button works, too?

It is a small button, after all.  And it's hidden in the corner.

[MAD]

Yeah, if you're insecure enough that you're afraid that a random stranger out of a crowd of 40,000+ drunk morans is going to take a gander at your warhammer and get some secret Chad urge that he has to repress by calling some other dude a faggot, you should probably just stop going to public restrooms, period. Frankly I like that I can go to a venue that large and still take less than 5 minutes to get from seat to pisser and back. Saves me the time I need to hurl as many racial epithets as possible at Milton Bradley.

It's not insecurity. I'm just looking for an excuse to piss on Apex's leg.

I successfully hailed a cab in Chicago.  IT WAS AWESOME.  It was my first cab ride.

So there's hope that some day you'll figure out how the "Quote" button works, too?

It is a small button, after all.  And it's hidden in the corner.

I think the joke isn't so much IAN not knowing how to find the quote button but, rather, mystifyingly quoting something other than that to which he was replying.

[Jon]

Yeah, if you're insecure enough that you're afraid that a random stranger out of a crowd of 40,000+ drunk morans is going to take a gander at your warhammer and get some secret Chad urge that he has to repress by calling some other dude a faggot, you should probably just stop going to public restrooms, period. Frankly I like that I can go to a venue that large and still take less than 5 minutes to get from seat to pisser and back. Saves me the time I need to hurl as many racial epithets as possible at Milton Bradley.

It's not insecurity. I'm just looking for an excuse to piss on Apex's leg.

I successfully hailed a cab in Chicago.  IT WAS AWESOME.  It was my first cab ride.

So there's hope that some day you'll figure out how the "Quote" button works, too?

It is a small button, after all.  And it's hidden in the corner.

I think the joke isn't so much IAN not knowing how to find the quote button but, rather, mystifyingly quoting something other than that to which he was replying.

Listen: IAN has come unstuck in time.

[Dr. Nguyen Van Falk]

Yeah, if you're insecure enough that you're afraid that a random stranger out of a crowd of 40,000+ drunk morans is going to take a gander at your warhammer and get some secret Chad urge that he has to repress by calling some other dude a faggot, you should probably just stop going to public restrooms, period. Frankly I like that I can go to a venue that large and still take less than 5 minutes to get from seat to pisser and back. Saves me the time I need to hurl as many racial epithets as possible at Milton Bradley.

It's not insecurity. I'm just looking for an excuse to piss on Apex's leg.

I successfully hailed a cab in Chicago.  IT WAS AWESOME.  It was my first cab ride.

So there's hope that some day you'll figure out how the "Quote" button works, too?

It is a small button, after all.  And it's hidden in the corner.

I think the joke isn't so much IAN not knowing how to find the quote button but, rather, mystifyingly quoting something other than that to which he was replying.

Listen: IAN has come unstuck in time.

Is that why he ruined a perfectly good joke about Gil's fiancee's menses?

[Jon]

Yeah, if you're insecure enough that you're afraid that a random stranger out of a crowd of 40,000+ drunk morans is going to take a gander at your warhammer and get some secret Chad urge that he has to repress by calling some other dude a faggot, you should probably just stop going to public restrooms, period. Frankly I like that I can go to a venue that large and still take less than 5 minutes to get from seat to pisser and back. Saves me the time I need to hurl as many racial epithets as possible at Milton Bradley.

It's not insecurity. I'm just looking for an excuse to piss on Apex's leg.

I successfully hailed a cab in Chicago.  IT WAS AWESOME.  It was my first cab ride.

So there's hope that some day you'll figure out how the "Quote" button works, too?

It is a small button, after all.  And it's hidden in the corner.

I think the joke isn't so much IAN not knowing how to find the quote button but, rather, mystifyingly quoting something other than that to which he was replying.

Listen: IAN has come unstuck in time.

Is that why he ruined a perfectly good joke about Gil's fiancee's menses?

Wow. I forgot about that one.

[MAD]

Yeah, if you're insecure enough that you're afraid that a random stranger out of a crowd of 40,000+ drunk morans is going to take a gander at your warhammer and get some secret Chad urge that he has to repress by calling some other dude a faggot, you should probably just stop going to public restrooms, period. Frankly I like that I can go to a venue that large and still take less than 5 minutes to get from seat to pisser and back. Saves me the time I need to hurl as many racial epithets as possible at Milton Bradley.

It's not insecurity. I'm just looking for an excuse to piss on Apex's leg.

I successfully hailed a cab in Chicago.  IT WAS AWESOME.  It was my first cab ride.

So there's hope that some day you'll figure out how the "Quote" button works, too?

It is a small button, after all.  And it's hidden in the corner.

I think the joke isn't so much IAN not knowing how to find the quote button but, rather, mystifyingly quoting something other than that to which he was replying.

Listen: IAN has come unstuck in time.

Is that why he ruined a perfectly good joke about Gil's fiancee's menses?

Wow. I forgot about that one.

Greg Olsen sucks.