Starlin Castro Unbridled Manlove with a Side Order of Sploogetasticism Thread

[Jon]

Yeah, if you're insecure enough that you're afraid that a random stranger out of a crowd of 40,000+ drunk morans is going to take a gander at your warhammer and get some secret Chad urge that he has to repress by calling some other dude a faggot, you should probably just stop going to public restrooms, period. Frankly I like that I can go to a venue that large and still take less than 5 minutes to get from seat to pisser and back. Saves me the time I need to hurl as many racial epithets as possible at Milton Bradley.

It's not insecurity. I'm just looking for an excuse to piss on Apex's leg.

I successfully hailed a cab in Chicago.  IT WAS AWESOME.  It was my first cab ride.

So there's hope that some day you'll figure out how the "Quote" button works, too?

It is a small button, after all.  And it's hidden in the corner.

I think the joke isn't so much IAN not knowing how to find the quote button but, rather, mystifyingly quoting something other than that to which he was replying.

Listen: IAN has come unstuck in time.

Is that why he ruined a perfectly good joke about Gil's fiancee's menses?

Wait. Shouldn't that be moenses?

[Saul Goodman]

NO WAY

8. Chicago Cubs
Last Year's Ranking: 26
Why They Are Here: As bad a year as the Cubs had at the big-league level, that's how good a year they had down on the farm, as 2008 draftees stepped forward, international signees shined, and plenty of others stepped forward. Throw in a first-round draft steal in Brett Jackson, and things are looking very, very up.
Where They Will Be Next Year: Chances are good that all of these players should still be eligible next year, and while I don't see the true star potential in Starlin Castro that others do, it's reasonable to expect good performances from Josh Vitters and Hak-Ju Lee. The aging big-league team needs help now, but this might take awhile.

[Internet Apex]

NO WAY

8. Chicago Cubs
Last Year's Ranking: 26
Why They Are Here: As bad a year as the Cubs had at the big-league level, that's how good a year they had down on the farm, as 2008 draftees stepped forward, international signees shined, and plenty of others stepped forward. Throw in a first-round draft steal in Brett Jackson, and things are looking very, very up.
Where They Will Be Next Year: Chances are good that all of these players should still be eligible next year, and while I don't see the true star potential in Starlin Castro that others do, it's reasonable to expect good performances from Josh Vitters and Hak-Ju Lee. The aging big-league team needs help now, but this might take awhile.

Hak-Ju Lee. Sweet. Somehow someway, we'll come up the most awesome nickname ever for this dude. I'll put the leader in the clubhouse at: Hak-Ju Lee "and make a blog out of her skin."



Go.

[morpheus]

NO WAY

8. Chicago Cubs
Last Year's Ranking: 26
Why They Are Here: As bad a year as the Cubs had at the big-league level, that's how good a year they had down on the farm, as 2008 draftees stepped forward, international signees shined, and plenty of others stepped forward. Throw in a first-round draft steal in Brett Jackson, and things are looking very, very up.
Where They Will Be Next Year: Chances are good that all of these players should still be eligible next year, and while I don't see the true star potential in Starlin Castro that others do, it's reasonable to expect good performances from Josh Vitters and Hak-Ju Lee. The aging big-league team needs help now, but this might take awhile.

Hak-Ju Lee. Sweet. Somehow someway, we'll come up the most awesome nickname ever for this dude. I'll put the leader in the clubhouse at: Hak-Ju Lee "and make a blog out of her skin."



Go.

I think CubbieJu-lee's RSS feed just went off...

[Quality Start Machine]

NO WAY

8. Chicago Cubs
Last Year's Ranking: 26
Why They Are Here: As bad a year as the Cubs had at the big-league level, that's how good a year they had down on the farm, as 2008 draftees stepped forward, international signees shined, and plenty of others stepped forward. Throw in a first-round draft steal in Brett Jackson, and things are looking very, very up.
Where They Will Be Next Year: Chances are good that all of these players should still be eligible next year, and while I don't see the true star potential in Starlin Castro that others do, it's reasonable to expect good performances from Josh Vitters and Hak-Ju Lee. The aging big-league team needs help now, but this might take awhile.

Hak-Ju Lee. Sweet. Somehow someway, we'll come up the most awesome nickname ever for this dude. I'll put the leader in the clubhouse at: Hak-Ju Lee "and make a blog out of her skin."



Go.

I think CubbieJu-lee's RSS feed just went off...

Her alert is the singing fish from the McDonald's commercials.

[Slaky]

Weren't we (as a whole) down on Brett Jackson as a first round pick?

[Quality Start Machine]

Weren't we (as a whole) down on Brett Jackson as a first round pick?

Isn't he supposed to be Korey redux?

[Eli]

Weren't we (as a whole) down on Brett Jackson as a first round pick?

I think almost everyone was.  He struck out so much in college that it seemed like he'd have major contact issues in the pros.  So far, so good though. 

[motown]

In case anyone missed it:

http://www.thecubreporter.com/2010/03/09/alls-wells-hohokam-park

...with Starlin Castro breaking off first, Micah Hoffpauir struck out swinging on a 3-2 pitch, and Castro was called out for sliding past 2nd base (he had the base stolen easily, too). I hate to say this because it's not fair to Castro, but the play brought back nightmares of Ronny Cedeno running the bases.

[Armchair_QB]

In case anyone missed it:

http://www.thecubreporter.com/2010/03/09/alls-wells-hohokam-park

...with Starlin Castro breaking off first, Micah Hoffpauir struck out swinging on a 3-2 pitch, and Castro was called out for sliding past 2nd base (he had the base stolen easily, too). I hate to say this because it's not fair to Castro, but the play brought back nightmares of Ronny Cedeno running the bases.

At least he didn't get thrown out on a walk like RonCe did.

[Quality Start Machine]

In case anyone missed it:

http://www.thecubreporter.com/2010/03/09/alls-wells-hohokam-park

...with Starlin Castro breaking off first, Micah Hoffpauir struck out swinging on a 3-2 pitch, and Castro was called out for sliding past 2nd base (he had the base stolen easily, too). I hate to say this because it's not fair to Castro, but the play brought back nightmares of Ronny Cedeno running the bases.

He qualified the statement by saying it's not fair to Castro to compare him to RonCe. So he's got that going for him, which is nice.

[Slaky]

In case anyone missed it:

http://www.thecubreporter.com/2010/03/09/alls-wells-hohokam-park

...with Starlin Castro breaking off first, Micah Hoffpauir struck out swinging on a 3-2 pitch, and Castro was called out for sliding past 2nd base (he had the base stolen easily, too). I hate to say this because it's not fair to Castro, but the play brought back nightmares of Ronny Cedeno running the bases.

At least he didn't get thrown out on a walk like RonCe did.

Yeah, it's not remotely the same thing. No one can top RonCe's retardity.

[CT III]

In case anyone missed it:

http://www.thecubreporter.com/2010/03/09/alls-wells-hohokam-park

...with Starlin Castro breaking off first, Micah Hoffpauir struck out swinging on a 3-2 pitch, and Castro was called out for sliding past 2nd base (he had the base stolen easily, too). I hate to say this because it's not fair to Castro, but the play brought back nightmares of Ronny Cedeno running the bases.

At least he didn't get thrown out on a walk like RonCe did.

Yeah, it's not remotely the same thing. No one can top RonCe's retardity.

The most surprising thing to me is that the Cub Reporter still exists.

[motown]

In case anyone missed it:

http://www.thecubreporter.com/2010/03/09/alls-wells-hohokam-park

...with Starlin Castro breaking off first, Micah Hoffpauir struck out swinging on a 3-2 pitch, and Castro was called out for sliding past 2nd base (he had the base stolen easily, too). I hate to say this because it's not fair to Castro, but the play brought back nightmares of Ronny Cedeno running the bases.

At least he didn't get thrown out on a walk like RonCe did.

Yeah, it's not remotely the same thing. No one can top RonCe's retardity.

No, it's definitely not Cedeno-level retardity, and Castro certainly doesn't have the same volume of retarded acts as Cedeno to judge from at this point.  I just thought the attempted connection was amusing since I heard it happen live and was wistfully reminded of Cedeno as well.

Perhaps a better retardity comparison is Theriot, yes?

[Dr. Nguyen Van Falk]

Perhaps a better retardity comparison is Theriot, yes?

This.

Though I, too, immediately thought of Ronny.

With the added qualification that it's still early in Spring Training, which is when guys are still working on getting their timing back on things like sliding into bases.