Starlin Castro Unbridled Manlove with a Side Order of Sploogetasticism Thread

[CubFaninHydePark]

Awesome lazy throw to fail to end an inning and hand the Marlins another run.

I can't wait for this guy to wear another team's jersey.

[SKO]

You people fucking suck. How did this go unbumped all weekend?

Bump for a massive 2 run game tying homer off Johnny Fucking Cueto on Friday.

Bump for a ninth inning walk off single on Saturday.

Bump for the awesome relay throw that nailed Brandon Philips at home to keep the Reds to one run in the inning on Sunday.

And Bump again for his second walkoff hit in the 11th on Sunday night, the first time a Cubs player had walkoff hits in back to back games since Santo in '66.

On a totally cheesy, stupid note he hit that walkoff as I sat in the darkness beside my dad's bed in his hospital room, thanking God that he was still there to celebrate it with me after his grabber earlier that afternoon, and it was a pretty special moment. I'm gonna remember that one for a while. Thanks, Starlin.

[InternetApex]

You people fucking suck. How did this go unbumped all weekend?

Bump for a massive 2 run game tying homer off Johnny Fucking Cueto on Friday.

Bump for a ninth inning walk off single on Saturday.

Bump for the awesome relay throw that nailed Brandon Philips at home to keep the Reds to one run in the inning on Sunday.

And Bump again for his second walkoff hit in the 11th on Sunday night, the first time a Cubs player had walkoff hits in back to back games since Santo in '66.

On a totally cheesy, stupid note he hit that walkoff as I sat in the darkness beside my dad's bed in his hospital room, thanking God that he was still there to celebrate it with me after his grabber earlier that afternoon, and it was a pretty special moment. I'm gonna remember that one for a while. Thanks, Starlin.

*runs around apartment in underwear*

[Quality Start Machine]

You people fucking suck. How did this go unbumped all weekend?

Bump for a massive 2 run game tying homer off Johnny Fucking Cueto on Friday.

Bump for a ninth inning walk off single on Saturday.

Bump for the awesome relay throw that nailed Brandon Philips at home to keep the Reds to one run in the inning on Sunday.

And Bump again for his second walkoff hit in the 11th on Sunday night, the first time a Cubs player had walkoff hits in back to back games since Santo in '66.

On a totally cheesy, stupid note he hit that walkoff as I sat in the darkness beside my dad's bed in his hospital room, thanking God that he was still there to celebrate it with me after his grabber earlier that afternoon, and it was a pretty special moment. I'm gonna remember that one for a while. Thanks, Starlin.

*runs around apartment in underwear*

*tosses Ape his Golden State onesie*

[Tonker]

You people fucking suck. How did this go unbumped all weekend?

Bump for a massive 2 run game tying homer off Johnny Fucking Cueto on Friday.

Bump for a ninth inning walk off single on Saturday.

Bump for the awesome relay throw that nailed Brandon Philips at home to keep the Reds to one run in the inning on Sunday.

And Bump again for his second walkoff hit in the 11th on Sunday night, the first time a Cubs player had walkoff hits in back to back games since Santo in '66.

On a totally cheesy, stupid note he hit that walkoff as I sat in the darkness beside my dad's bed in his hospital room, thanking God that he was still there to celebrate it with me after his grabber earlier that afternoon, and it was a pretty special moment. I'm gonna remember that one for a while. Thanks, Starlin.

Fucking THIS.  There are still twenty-odd teams who'd be fucking delighted to have a 25-year-old shortstop with best part of a thousand major league hits - more than any other cunt in the bigs since he came up.

Sorry to hear about your old man, SKO: hope he's okay.

[SKO]

You people fucking suck. How did this go unbumped all weekend?

Bump for a massive 2 run game tying homer off Johnny Fucking Cueto on Friday.

Bump for a ninth inning walk off single on Saturday.

Bump for the awesome relay throw that nailed Brandon Philips at home to keep the Reds to one run in the inning on Sunday.

And Bump again for his second walkoff hit in the 11th on Sunday night, the first time a Cubs player had walkoff hits in back to back games since Santo in '66.

On a totally cheesy, stupid note he hit that walkoff as I sat in the darkness beside my dad's bed in his hospital room, thanking God that he was still there to celebrate it with me after his grabber earlier that afternoon, and it was a pretty special moment. I'm gonna remember that one for a while. Thanks, Starlin.

Fucking THIS.  There are still twenty-odd teams who'd be fucking delighted to have a 25-year-old shortstop with best part of a thousand major league hits - more than any other cunt in the bigs since he came up.

Sorry to hear about your old man, SKO: hope he's okay.

I've been as hard on Starlin as anyone and he's still pretty much having a shit season but that was  big weekend for him and dammit I was happy for him. This thread deserved some bumpage.

Dad's doing much better, thank you. Hopefully this will be incentive enough to finally put the cigarettes away.

[Eli]

Fucking THIS.  There are still twenty-odd teams who'd be fucking delighted to have a 25-year-old shortstop with best part of a thousand major league hits - more than any other cunt in the bigs since he came up.

This is something about the Starlin argument that always puzzles me, but why do otherwise-statistically-inclined fans always cite hits and All-Star appearances when defending Castro?

[ChuckD]

Fucking THIS.  There are still twenty-odd teams who'd be fucking delighted to have a 25-year-old shortstop with best part of a thousand major league hits - more than any other cunt in the bigs since he came up.

This is something about the Starlin argument that always puzzles me, but why do otherwise-statistically-inclined fans always cite hits and All-Star appearances when defending Castro?

Because getting hits is better than not getting hits.

[InternetApex]

Fucking THIS.  There are still twenty-odd teams who'd be fucking delighted to have a 25-year-old shortstop with best part of a thousand major league hits - more than any other cunt in the bigs since he came up.

This is something about the Starlin argument that always puzzles me, but why do otherwise-statistically-inclined fans always cite hits and All-Star appearances when defending Castro?

Because getting hits is better than not getting hits.

And All-Star appearances speak to the quality or lack thereof at the position league-wide and where Starlin fits into that mix. Really good question though, Eli.

[Oleg]

Fucking THIS.  There are still twenty-odd teams who'd be fucking delighted to have a 25-year-old shortstop with best part of a thousand major league hits - more than any other cunt in the bigs since he came up.

This is something about the Starlin argument that always puzzles me, but why do otherwise-statistically-inclined fans always cite hits and All-Star appearances when defending Castro?

Because getting hits is better than not getting hits.

This is a little too Juan Pierre-ish for my liking.

[Eli]

Fucking THIS.  There are still twenty-odd teams who'd be fucking delighted to have a 25-year-old shortstop with best part of a thousand major league hits - more than any other cunt in the bigs since he came up.

This is something about the Starlin argument that always puzzles me, but why do otherwise-statistically-inclined fans always cite hits and All-Star appearances when defending Castro?

Because getting hits is better than not getting hits.

And All-Star appearances speak to the quality or lack thereof at the position league-wide and where Starlin fits into that mix. Really good question though, Eli.

As this year's American League voting has proven.

[Tonker]

Fucking THIS.  There are still twenty-odd teams who'd be fucking delighted to have a 25-year-old shortstop with best part of a thousand major league hits - more than any other cunt in the bigs since he came up.

This is something about the Starlin argument that always puzzles me, but why do otherwise-statistically-inclined fans always cite hits and All-Star appearances when defending Castro?

Because getting hits is better than not getting hits.

Right.  And if you have more hits than absolutely everybody else over a five-year period, I'd say that's a reasonable indicator that you're not a complete disaster, offensively speaking.  Indeed, I challenge you to show me any player in history who meets that criterion and wasn't offensively productive.

[ChuckD]

Fucking THIS.  There are still twenty-odd teams who'd be fucking delighted to have a 25-year-old shortstop with best part of a thousand major league hits - more than any other cunt in the bigs since he came up.

This is something about the Starlin argument that always puzzles me, but why do otherwise-statistically-inclined fans always cite hits and All-Star appearances when defending Castro?

Because getting hits is better than not getting hits.

Right.  And if you have more hits than absolutely everybody else over a five-year period, I'd say that's a reasonable indicator that you're not a complete disaster, offensively speaking.  Indeed, I challenge you to show me any player in history who meets that criterion and wasn't offensively productive.

I can think of one, but you're not going to like it.

[Tonker]

Go on, then...

(With proof, natch)

[Eli]

Fucking THIS.  There are still twenty-odd teams who'd be fucking delighted to have a 25-year-old shortstop with best part of a thousand major league hits - more than any other cunt in the bigs since he came up.

This is something about the Starlin argument that always puzzles me, but why do otherwise-statistically-inclined fans always cite hits and All-Star appearances when defending Castro?

Because getting hits is better than not getting hits.

Right.  And if you have more hits than absolutely everybody else over a five-year period, I'd say that's a reasonable indicator that you're not a complete disaster, offensively speaking.  Indeed, I challenge you to show me any player in history who meets that criterion and wasn't offensively productive.

I can think of one, but you're not going to like it.

Juan Pierre, right?