The Jeff Samardzija Defenestration Thread

[Bort]

Why can't you people just let me fucking hate Snork in peace?

I'm so entertained by your SnorkHate that losing it will be the only thing I'm bummed about when they offload the douchebag.

DPD:

I promise to still hate him, wherever he lands.

[Eli]

Why can't you people just let me fucking hate Snork in peace?

I'm so entertained by your SnorkHate that losing it will be the only thing I'm bummed about when they offload the douchebag.

I'll be bummed about the Cubs losing a very good player but I'm weird like that.

THIS is the bridge too far in your handwringing and couch-fainting about the Cubs this season?

All I said was I'll be bummed to see a good player leave the team.

[Bort]

Why can't you people just let me fucking hate Snork in peace?

I'm so entertained by your SnorkHate that losing it will be the only thing I'm bummed about when they offload the douchebag.

I'll be bummed about the Cubs losing a very good player but I'm weird like that.

THIS is the bridge too far in your handwringing and couch-fainting about the Cubs this season?

All I said was I'll be bummed to see a good player leave the team.

Let me have my hate. It's all I have left.

[Quality Start Machine]

Why can't you people just let me fucking hate Snork in peace?

I'm so entertained by your SnorkHate that losing it will be the only thing I'm bummed about when they offload the douchebag.

I'll be bummed about the Cubs losing a very good player but I'm weird like that.

THIS is the bridge too far in your handwringing and couch-fainting about the Cubs this season?

All I said was I'll be bummed to see a good player leave the team.

Let me have my hate. It's all I have left.

I just hope they move him before the regression hits.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Why can't you people just let me fucking hate Snork in peace?

I'm so entertained by your SnorkHate that losing it will be the only thing I'm bummed about when they offload the douchebag.

I'll be bummed about the Cubs losing a very good player but I'm weird like that.

THIS is the bridge too far in your handwringing and couch-fainting about the Cubs this season?

All I said was I'll be bummed to see a good player leave the team.

Good thing when Snork leaves you won't be bummed.

[Eli]

I just hope they move him before the regression hits.

He'll certainly regress in ERA, but his advanced stats like FIP, xFIP are basically right where they have for the past 500 innings or so (which is really good).

[Eli]

Why can't you people just let me fucking hate Snork in peace?

I'm so entertained by your SnorkHate that losing it will be the only thing I'm bummed about when they offload the douchebag.

I'll be bummed about the Cubs losing a very good player but I'm weird like that.

THIS is the bridge too far in your handwringing and couch-fainting about the Cubs this season?

All I said was I'll be bummed to see a good player leave the team.

Good thing when Snork leaves you won't be bummed.

OK.

[CBStew]

Why can't you people just let me fucking hate Snork in peace?

I'm so entertained by your SnorkHate that losing it will be the only thing I'm bummed about when they offload the douchebag.

I'll be bummed about the Cubs losing a very good player but I'm weird like that.

THIS is the bridge too far in your handwringing and couch-fainting about the Cubs this season?

All I said was I'll be bummed to see a good player leave the team.

Let me have my hate. It's all I have left.

I just hope they move him before the regression hits.

...any pitching needy team that passes on him is going to regret it.

[PenFoe]

Why can't you people just let me fucking hate Snork in peace?

I'm so entertained by your SnorkHate that losing it will be the only thing I'm bummed about when they offload the douchebag.

I'll be bummed about the Cubs losing a very good player but I'm weird like that.

THIS is the bridge too far in your handwringing and couch-fainting about the Cubs this season?

All I said was I'll be bummed to see a good player leave the team.

Let me have my hate. It's all I have left.

I just hope they move him before the regression hits.

...any pitching needy team that passes on him is going to regret it.

The Cubs are pretty pitching needy.

[Yeti]

Why can't you people just let me fucking hate Snork in peace?

I'm so entertained by your SnorkHate that losing it will be the only thing I'm bummed about when they offload the douchebag.

I'll be bummed about the Cubs losing a very good player but I'm weird like that.

THIS is the bridge too far in your handwringing and couch-fainting about the Cubs this season?

All I said was I'll be bummed to see a good player leave the team.

Good thing when Snork leaves you won't be bummed.

OK.

Chuck: still the worst

[Quality Start Machine]

I just hope they move him before the regression hits.

He'll certainly regress in ERA, but his advanced stats like FIP, xFIP are basically right where they have for the past 500 innings or so (which is really good).

They better move him before June 1.

[Slaky]

I just hope they move him before the regression hits.

He'll certainly regress in ERA, but his advanced stats like FIP, xFIP are basically right where they have for the past 500 innings or so (which is really good).

They better move him before June 1.

I mean, you're right. They should move him ASAP if that's the plan.

[Tinker to Evers to Chance]

I just hope they move him before the regression hits.

He'll certainly regress in ERA, but his advanced stats like FIP, xFIP are basically right where they have for the past 500 innings or so (which is really good).

I think he'll still be good when the Cubs are contending, so I want him to stay.

Put me on Team Snork.

[Shooter]

I'm wondering when Mooney turned heel.

When he realized that his job entails writing about this shitty, uninteresting team for seven months straight?

Eight months, if you count the postseason.

[Bort]

I just hope they move him before the regression hits.

He'll certainly regress in ERA, but his advanced stats like FIP, xFIP are basically right where they have for the past 500 innings or so (which is really good).

I think he'll still be good when the Cubs are contending, so I want him to stay.

Put me on Team Snork.

You are no longer the Minister of War of the Bortatorship.