The Jeff Samardzija Defenestration Thread

[R-V]

He is under contract for 2011 at $3.5 million and, for 2012 $6.5 million.

Seriously.

The 2012 year is a team option.  Man, the Cubs got lucky there.  Hendry musta screwed up and got his normal players option clause backwards.

Don't forget the no-trade.

Jeff Samardzija rhp

5 years/$10M (2007-11), plus 2012 & 2013 club options
signed Major League contract with Cubs 1/07, giving up football
$2M signing bonus
10:$3M
no-trade clause
total value may reach $16.5M with exercise of options
must return bonus & much of remaining $10M if he returns to football
drafted 2006 (5-149) (Notre Dame)
signed 6/06, $1M signing bonus (may increase to $7.25M if Samardzija chooses to play baseball over football)
agent: Mark Rodgers
ML service: 0.152

I'm pretty sure the 7ER in 1 AAA inning is a no trade clause on its own.

:high five:

Reading his contract details made me really mad.

Yeah, reading can be pretty frustrating sometimes.

Why so butthurt, Kermit?

Are Huey and I the only two on the board not allowed to crack wise without being called "butthurt"?  Just checking.

Wait a minute, I'm pretty sure Huey invented the term butthurt.  Or at least popularized its use around here.

That red-faced potato eater is going to be pretty butthurt when he finds out he didn't get credit for inventing butthurt.

[Slaky]

He is under contract for 2011 at $3.5 million and, for 2012 $6.5 million.

Seriously.

The 2012 year is a team option.  Man, the Cubs got lucky there.  Hendry musta screwed up and got his normal players option clause backwards.

Don't forget the no-trade.

Jeff Samardzija rhp

5 years/$10M (2007-11), plus 2012 & 2013 club options
signed Major League contract with Cubs 1/07, giving up football
$2M signing bonus
10:$3M
no-trade clause
total value may reach $16.5M with exercise of options
must return bonus & much of remaining $10M if he returns to football
drafted 2006 (5-149) (Notre Dame)
signed 6/06, $1M signing bonus (may increase to $7.25M if Samardzija chooses to play baseball over football)
agent: Mark Rodgers
ML service: 0.152

I'm pretty sure the 7ER in 1 AAA inning is a no trade clause on its own.

:high five:

Reading his contract details made me really mad.

Yeah, reading can be pretty frustrating sometimes.

Why so butthurt, Kermit?

Are Huey and I the only two on the board not allowed to crack wise without being called "butthurt"?  Just checking.

Wait a minute, I'm pretty sure Huey invented the term butthurt.  Or at least popularized its use around here.

That red-faced potato eater is going to be pretty butthurt when he finds out he didn't get credit for inventing butthurt.

Get ready for a lengthy rant from the Anti-Hemingway.

[BH]

He is under contract for 2011 at $3.5 million and, for 2012 $6.5 million.

Seriously.

The 2012 year is a team option.  Man, the Cubs got lucky there.  Hendry musta screwed up and got his normal players option clause backwards.

Don't forget the no-trade.

Jeff Samardzija rhp

5 years/$10M (2007-11), plus 2012 & 2013 club options
signed Major League contract with Cubs 1/07, giving up football
$2M signing bonus
10:$3M
no-trade clause
total value may reach $16.5M with exercise of options
must return bonus & much of remaining $10M if he returns to football
drafted 2006 (5-149) (Notre Dame)
signed 6/06, $1M signing bonus (may increase to $7.25M if Samardzija chooses to play baseball over football)
agent: Mark Rodgers
ML service: 0.152

I'm pretty sure the 7ER in 1 AAA inning is a no trade clause on its own.

:high five:

Reading his contract details made me really mad.

Yeah, reading can be pretty frustrating sometimes.

Why so butthurt, Kermit?

Are Huey and I the only two on the board not allowed to crack wise without being called "butthurt"?  Just checking.

Wait a minute, I'm pretty sure Huey invented the term butthurt.  Or at least popularized its use around here.

That red-faced potato eater is going to be pretty butthurt when he finds out he didn't get credit for inventing butthurt.

Get ready for a lengthy rant from the Anti-Hemingway.

GarbanzoBeansButthurt was huey's I believe.

[CT III]

He is under contract for 2011 at $3.5 million and, for 2012 $6.5 million.

Seriously.

The 2012 year is a team option.  Man, the Cubs got lucky there.  Hendry musta screwed up and got his normal players option clause backwards.

Don't forget the no-trade.

Jeff Samardzija rhp

5 years/$10M (2007-11), plus 2012 & 2013 club options
signed Major League contract with Cubs 1/07, giving up football
$2M signing bonus
10:$3M
no-trade clause
total value may reach $16.5M with exercise of options
must return bonus & much of remaining $10M if he returns to football
drafted 2006 (5-149) (Notre Dame)
signed 6/06, $1M signing bonus (may increase to $7.25M if Samardzija chooses to play baseball over football)
agent: Mark Rodgers
ML service: 0.152

I'm pretty sure the 7ER in 1 AAA inning is a no trade clause on its own.

:high five:

Reading his contract details made me really mad.

Yeah, reading can be pretty frustrating sometimes.

Why so butthurt, Kermit?

Are Huey and I the only two on the board not allowed to crack wise without being called "butthurt"?  Just checking.

Wait a minute, I'm pretty sure Huey invented the term butthurt.  Or at least popularized its use around here.

That red-faced potato eater is going to be pretty butthurt when he finds out he didn't get credit for inventing butthurt.

Truer words have never been typed.

[MAD]

He is under contract for 2011 at $3.5 million and, for 2012 $6.5 million.

Seriously.

The 2012 year is a team option.  Man, the Cubs got lucky there.  Hendry musta screwed up and got his normal players option clause backwards.

Don't forget the no-trade.

Jeff Samardzija rhp

5 years/$10M (2007-11), plus 2012 & 2013 club options
signed Major League contract with Cubs 1/07, giving up football
$2M signing bonus
10:$3M
no-trade clause
total value may reach $16.5M with exercise of options
must return bonus & much of remaining $10M if he returns to football
drafted 2006 (5-149) (Notre Dame)
signed 6/06, $1M signing bonus (may increase to $7.25M if Samardzija chooses to play baseball over football)
agent: Mark Rodgers
ML service: 0.152

I'm pretty sure the 7ER in 1 AAA inning is a no trade clause on its own.

:high five:

Reading his contract details made me really mad.

Yeah, reading can be pretty frustrating sometimes.

Why so butthurt, Kermit?

Are Huey and I the only two on the board not allowed to crack wise without being called "butthurt"?  Just checking.

Wait a minute, I'm pretty sure Huey invented the term butthurt.  Or at least popularized its use around here.

That red-faced potato eater is going to be pretty butthurt when he finds out he didn't get credit for inventing butthurt.

Truer words have never been typed.

It was Apex, you turds, and the term is "asshurt"

[Richard Chuggar]

He is under contract for 2011 at $3.5 million and, for 2012 $6.5 million.

Seriously.

The 2012 year is a team option.  Man, the Cubs got lucky there.  Hendry musta screwed up and got his normal players option clause backwards.

Don't forget the no-trade.

Jeff Samardzija rhp

5 years/$10M (2007-11), plus 2012 & 2013 club options
signed Major League contract with Cubs 1/07, giving up football
$2M signing bonus
10:$3M
no-trade clause
total value may reach $16.5M with exercise of options
must return bonus & much of remaining $10M if he returns to football
drafted 2006 (5-149) (Notre Dame)
signed 6/06, $1M signing bonus (may increase to $7.25M if Samardzija chooses to play baseball over football)
agent: Mark Rodgers
ML service: 0.152

I'm pretty sure the 7ER in 1 AAA inning is a no trade clause on its own.

:high five:

Reading his contract details made me really mad.

Yeah, reading can be pretty frustrating sometimes.

Why so butthurt, Kermit?

Are Huey and I the only two on the board not allowed to crack wise without being called "butthurt"?  Just checking.

Wait a minute, I'm pretty sure Huey invented the term butthurt.  Or at least popularized its use around here.

That red-faced potato eater is going to be pretty butthurt when he finds out he didn't get credit for inventing butthurt.

Truer words have never been typed.

It was Apex, you turds, and the term is "asshurt"

Don't get all butthurt b/c we can't remember who came up with the term butthurt. 

You fat sweaty alcoholic potato sucking fuckturd.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

He is under contract for 2011 at $3.5 million and, for 2012 $6.5 million.

Seriously.

The 2012 year is a team option.  Man, the Cubs got lucky there.  Hendry musta screwed up and got his normal players option clause backwards.

Don't forget the no-trade.

Jeff Samardzija rhp

5 years/$10M (2007-11), plus 2012 & 2013 club options
signed Major League contract with Cubs 1/07, giving up football
$2M signing bonus
10:$3M
no-trade clause
total value may reach $16.5M with exercise of options
must return bonus & much of remaining $10M if he returns to football
drafted 2006 (5-149) (Notre Dame)
signed 6/06, $1M signing bonus (may increase to $7.25M if Samardzija chooses to play baseball over football)
agent: Mark Rodgers
ML service: 0.152

I'm pretty sure the 7ER in 1 AAA inning is a no trade clause on its own.

:high five:

Reading his contract details made me really mad.

Yeah, reading can be pretty frustrating sometimes.

Why so butthurt, Kermit?

Are Huey and I the only two on the board not allowed to crack wise without being called "butthurt"?  Just checking.

Wait a minute, I'm pretty sure Huey invented the term butthurt.  Or at least popularized its use around here.

That red-faced potato eater is going to be pretty butthurt when he finds out he didn't get credit for inventing butthurt.

Truer words have never been typed.

It was Apex, you turds, and the term is "asshurt"

Go park your tortured ass on a block of ice and cry us a river, you big fancy bogtrotter.

[R-V]

He is under contract for 2011 at $3.5 million and, for 2012 $6.5 million.

Seriously.

The 2012 year is a team option.  Man, the Cubs got lucky there.  Hendry musta screwed up and got his normal players option clause backwards.

Don't forget the no-trade.

Jeff Samardzija rhp

5 years/$10M (2007-11), plus 2012 & 2013 club options
signed Major League contract with Cubs 1/07, giving up football
$2M signing bonus
10:$3M
no-trade clause
total value may reach $16.5M with exercise of options
must return bonus & much of remaining $10M if he returns to football
drafted 2006 (5-149) (Notre Dame)
signed 6/06, $1M signing bonus (may increase to $7.25M if Samardzija chooses to play baseball over football)
agent: Mark Rodgers
ML service: 0.152

I'm pretty sure the 7ER in 1 AAA inning is a no trade clause on its own.

:high five:

Reading his contract details made me really mad.

Yeah, reading can be pretty frustrating sometimes.

Why so butthurt, Kermit?

Are Huey and I the only two on the board not allowed to crack wise without being called "butthurt"?  Just checking.

Wait a minute, I'm pretty sure Huey invented the term butthurt.  Or at least popularized its use around here.

That red-faced potato eater is going to be pretty butthurt when he finds out he didn't get credit for inventing butthurt.

Truer words have never been typed.

It was Apex, you turds, and the term is "asshurt"

Did you change it to butthurt to prevent BC from fainting and crushing the messageboard?

[Powdered Toast Man]

I still want to know why Kermit is so butthurt.

On second thought, I'll just forget about it and offer up this:

[Internet Apex]

I still want to know why Kermit is so butthurt.

On second thought, I'll just forget about it and offer up this:

Is there a fart wafting out of that bottle? Is it Bud Wheat?

[Powdered Toast Man]

I still want to know why Kermit is so butthurt.

On second thought, I'll just forget about it and offer up this:

Is there a fart wafting out of that bottle? Is it Bud Wheat?

That's the cool, clean taste of refreshment.  HERE WE GO!

[Kermit IV]

This thread got so awesome.  You're welcome, butthurt dickwads.

[morpheus]

Bump.  http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/chi-cubs-to-decline-samardzija-option-resign-at-lower-salary-20111031,0,534385.story

[Bort]

Bump.  http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/chi-cubs-to-decline-samardzija-option-resign-at-lower-salary-20111031,0,534385.story

I'm willing to give Theo a family discount on a lightly used FIREBARN.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Bump.  http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/chi-cubs-to-decline-samardzija-option-resign-at-lower-salary-20111031,0,534385.story

I'm willing to give Theo a family discount on a lightly used FIREBARN.

We get it. All Jews are related.