The Jeff Samardzija Defenestration Thread

[Slaky]

Jeff is crabby.

"This is an on-field issue for uniform personnel," Samardzija said Wednesday at U.S. Cellular Field. "That's all there is to it. I'm a grown man. I'm 29. I'm not a prospect or 22. I feel good. I think I'm grown up enough and responsible enough to understand when I can go and when I can't go.

I hope his arm literally explodes on his first start after they trade him. I want a doctor to be picking shards of Snork's ulna out of his stupid frat boy face.

It's a pretty dumb comment from him. But he's obviously frustrated and it's hard to blame him for that.

Losing all the games to the Sox is fun. I'd be in a great mood.

[Bort]

Jeff is crabby.

"This is an on-field issue for uniform personnel," Samardzija said Wednesday at U.S. Cellular Field. "That's all there is to it. I'm a grown man. I'm 29. I'm not a prospect or 22. I feel good. I think I'm grown up enough and responsible enough to understand when I can go and when I can't go.

I hope his arm literally explodes on his first start after they trade him. I want a doctor to be picking shards of Snork's ulna out of his stupid frat boy face.

It's a pretty dumb comment from him. But he's obviously frustrated and it's hard to blame him for that.

You'd be amazed how easy it is for me to blame him for things.

[Eli]

Jeff is crabby.

"This is an on-field issue for uniform personnel," Samardzija said Wednesday at U.S. Cellular Field. "That's all there is to it. I'm a grown man. I'm 29. I'm not a prospect or 22. I feel good. I think I'm grown up enough and responsible enough to understand when I can go and when I can't go.

I hope his arm literally explodes on his first start after they trade him. I want a doctor to be picking shards of Snork's ulna out of his stupid frat boy face.

It's a pretty dumb comment from him. But he's obviously frustrated and it's hard to blame him for that.

Losing all the games to the Sox is fun. I'd be in a great mood.

Expanded.

[Slaky]

Jeff is crabby.

"This is an on-field issue for uniform personnel," Samardzija said Wednesday at U.S. Cellular Field. "That's all there is to it. I'm a grown man. I'm 29. I'm not a prospect or 22. I feel good. I think I'm grown up enough and responsible enough to understand when I can go and when I can't go.

I hope his arm literally explodes on his first start after they trade him. I want a doctor to be picking shards of Snork's ulna out of his stupid frat boy face.

It's a pretty dumb comment from him. But he's obviously frustrated and it's hard to blame him for that.

Losing all the games to the Sox is fun. I'd be in a great mood.

Expanded.

Last night with very little hockey on I decided to flip on the cubs for a few minutes after my wife and I finished watching some TEE VEE together. Even my phone updates talking bullshit like "Beckham three-run homer" AGAIN didn't deter me. But when I flipped it on the bases were loaded and the corpse of south side goateed superduperstar Polly K was up. And naturally he lined a fucking bases clearing double. Felt like old times. I was genuinely upset. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why are we doing this?

[motown]

Jeff is crabby.

"This is an on-field issue for uniform personnel," Samardzija said Wednesday at U.S. Cellular Field. "That's all there is to it. I'm a grown man. I'm 29. I'm not a prospect or 22. I feel good. I think I'm grown up enough and responsible enough to understand when I can go and when I can't go.

I hope his arm literally explodes on his first start after they trade him. I want a doctor to be picking shards of Snork's ulna out of his stupid frat boy face.

It's a pretty dumb comment from him. But he's obviously frustrated and it's hard to blame him for that.

Losing all the games to the Sox is fun. I'd be in a great mood.

The quotes read pretty crabby and frustrated, but Samardzija didn't come off that way in the video, much less "telling the Cubs" something they didn't know as the headline implies. This is going to be a long two months until he's traded, isn't it?

[BH]

Jeff is crabby.

"This is an on-field issue for uniform personnel," Samardzija said Wednesday at U.S. Cellular Field. "That's all there is to it. I'm a grown man. I'm 29. I'm not a prospect or 22. I feel good. I think I'm grown up enough and responsible enough to understand when I can go and when I can't go.

I hope his arm literally explodes on his first start after they trade him. I want a doctor to be picking shards of Snork's ulna out of his stupid frat boy face.

It's a pretty dumb comment from him. But he's obviously frustrated and it's hard to blame him for that.

Losing all the games to the Sox is fun. I'd be in a great mood.

The quotes read pretty crabby and frustrated, but Samardzija didn't come off that way in the video, much less "telling the Cubs" something they didn't know as the headline implies. This is going to be a long two months until he's traded, isn't it?

He won't have any trade value after he goes on the DL, so he won't be traded. The cubs holding out trading him the past 2 seasons has to come back to screw them right? These are our kubbeez we are talking about.

[Bort]

Jeff is crabby.

"This is an on-field issue for uniform personnel," Samardzija said Wednesday at U.S. Cellular Field. "That's all there is to it. I'm a grown man. I'm 29. I'm not a prospect or 22. I feel good. I think I'm grown up enough and responsible enough to understand when I can go and when I can't go.

I hope his arm literally explodes on his first start after they trade him. I want a doctor to be picking shards of Snork's ulna out of his stupid frat boy face.

It's a pretty dumb comment from him. But he's obviously frustrated and it's hard to blame him for that.

Losing all the games to the Sox is fun. I'd be in a great mood.

The quotes read pretty crabby and frustrated, but Samardzija didn't come off that way in the video, much less "telling the Cubs" something they didn't know as the headline implies. This is going to be a long two months until he's traded, isn't it?

He won't have any trade value after he goes on the DL, so he won't be traded. The cubs holding out trading him the past 2 seasons has to come back to screw them right? These are our kubbeez we are talking about.

There's always the FIREBARN.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Jeff is crabby.

"This is an on-field issue for uniform personnel," Samardzija said Wednesday at U.S. Cellular Field. "That's all there is to it. I'm a grown man. I'm 29. I'm not a prospect or 22. I feel good. I think I'm grown up enough and responsible enough to understand when I can go and when I can't go.

I hope his arm literally explodes on his first start after they trade him. I want a doctor to be picking shards of Snork's ulna out of his stupid frat boy face.

It's a pretty dumb comment from him. But he's obviously frustrated and it's hard to blame him for that.

Losing all the games to the Sox is fun. I'd be in a great mood.

The quotes read pretty crabby and frustrated, but Samardzija didn't come off that way in the video, much less "telling the Cubs" something they didn't know as the headline implies. This is going to be a long two months until he's traded, isn't it?

If he's crabby and frustrated at anyone, it seems to me that it's at the media for trying to dredge some drama out of this boring shit puddle of a season. They're the ones that grilled Renteria over pitch counts. They're the ones bringing Chris Sale into the discussion.

Gotta love Mooney's framing:

Jeff Samardzija set off some fireworks in a crosstown rivalry that had become way too boring. This seems to happen when the Cubs come to the South Side.

Standing in the visiting clubhouse where Lou Piniella once cursed out Milton Bradley in the tunnel, just off the dugout where Carlos Zambrano attacked Derrek Lee, Samardzija responded to the second-guessing after he threw a career-high 126 pitches in Monday night's loss to the White Sox.

Because a coach confronting a player or two teammates fighting each other are basically the same thing as a pitcher defending his coaches' decisions to the press after a game.

Samardzija took aim at Theo Epstein's front office, exposing the behind-the-scenes tension as the Cubs prepare to eventually trade their Opening Day starter this summer.

He didn't "take aim" at shit. He was asked a direct question about "upper management" and basically brushed it off, more or less telling the reporters to just let it go already.

[Slaky]

Jeff is crabby.

"This is an on-field issue for uniform personnel," Samardzija said Wednesday at U.S. Cellular Field. "That's all there is to it. I'm a grown man. I'm 29. I'm not a prospect or 22. I feel good. I think I'm grown up enough and responsible enough to understand when I can go and when I can't go.

I hope his arm literally explodes on his first start after they trade him. I want a doctor to be picking shards of Snork's ulna out of his stupid frat boy face.

It's a pretty dumb comment from him. But he's obviously frustrated and it's hard to blame him for that.

Losing all the games to the Sox is fun. I'd be in a great mood.

The quotes read pretty crabby and frustrated, but Samardzija didn't come off that way in the video, much less "telling the Cubs" something they didn't know as the headline implies. This is going to be a long two months until he's traded, isn't it?

If he's crabby and frustrated at anyone, it seems to me that it's at the media for trying to dredge some drama out of this boring shit puddle of a season. They're the ones that grilled Renteria over pitch counts. They're the ones bringing Chris Sale into the discussion.

Gotta love Mooney's framing:

Jeff Samardzija set off some fireworks in a crosstown rivalry that had become way too boring. This seems to happen when the Cubs come to the South Side.

Standing in the visiting clubhouse where Lou Piniella once cursed out Milton Bradley in the tunnel, just off the dugout where Carlos Zambrano attacked Derrek Lee, Samardzija responded to the second-guessing after he threw a career-high 126 pitches in Monday night's loss to the White Sox.

Because a coach confronting a player or two teammates fighting each other are basically the same thing as a pitcher defending his coaches' decisions to the press after a game.

Samardzija took aim at Theo Epstein's front office, exposing the behind-the-scenes tension as the Cubs prepare to eventually trade their Opening Day starter this summer.

He didn't "take aim" at shit. He was asked a direct question about "upper management" and basically brushed it off, more or less telling the reporters to just let it go already.

I'm wondering when Mooney turned heel.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I'm wondering when Mooney turned heel.

When he realized that his job entails writing about this shitty, uninteresting team for seven months straight?

[Eli]

I'm wondering when Mooney turned heel.

Probably after 400 games of having to sit and watch and write about this shit.

[Bort]

Why can't you people just let me fucking hate Snork in peace?

[InternetApex]

Why can't you people just let me fucking hate Snork in peace?

I'm so entertained by your SnorkHate that losing it will be the only thing I'm bummed about when they offload the douchebag.

[Eli]

Why can't you people just let me fucking hate Snork in peace?

I'm so entertained by your SnorkHate that losing it will be the only thing I'm bummed about when they offload the douchebag.

I'll be bummed about the Cubs losing a very good player but I'm weird like that.

[Bort]

Why can't you people just let me fucking hate Snork in peace?

I'm so entertained by your SnorkHate that losing it will be the only thing I'm bummed about when they offload the douchebag.

I'll be bummed about the Cubs losing a very good player but I'm weird like that.

THIS is the bridge too far in your handwringing and couch-fainting about the Cubs this season?