The Jeff Samardzija Defenestration Thread

[InternetApex]

Some random dude on Twitter is tweeting at anyone and everyone that his friend knows Snork or whatever and the Cubs are going to announce at 4/$65 mil deal this week:

https://twitter.com/ZlaticAlex/with_replies

I'm mostly posting it to antagonize Bort, not because I really believe it.

His conversation with AL has the making of something truly special.  HE WANTS DETAILS DAMNIT!

Conversely, I would be pretty happy with 4/65 for Snork.

My favorite was that guy having to explain to Al the ins and outs of how DMs work.

But yes, I agree that 4/$65 would be a nice value for Shark, especially if you buy the idea that Cooper messed him up and Bosio can fix him.

The only way this deal is good for the Cubs is if there's a guarantee Bosio is here for the entirety of it.

I'm not sure why he wouldn't be.

Somebody could offer him more money, or maybe he wants a managing gig?

But if the Cubs are going to invest that kind of dough based upon a pitcher's success with a pitching coach, shouldn't they also protect the investment by giving Bosio a deal to match in terms of length?

What if Snork still sucks?

[Bort]

Some random dude on Twitter is tweeting at anyone and everyone that his friend knows Snork or whatever and the Cubs are going to announce at 4/$65 mil deal this week:

https://twitter.com/ZlaticAlex/with_replies

I'm mostly posting it to antagonize Bort, not because I really believe it.

His conversation with AL has the making of something truly special.  HE WANTS DETAILS DAMNIT!

Conversely, I would be pretty happy with 4/65 for Snork.

My favorite was that guy having to explain to Al the ins and outs of how DMs work.

But yes, I agree that 4/$65 would be a nice value for Shark, especially if you buy the idea that Cooper messed him up and Bosio can fix him.

The only way this deal is good for the Cubs is if there's a guarantee Bosio is here for the entirety of it.

I'm not sure why he wouldn't be.

Somebody could offer him more money, or maybe he wants a managing gig?

But if the Cubs are going to invest that kind of dough based upon a pitcher's success with a pitching coach, shouldn't they also protect the investment by giving Bosio a deal to match in terms of length?

What if Snork still sucks?

What if fish still swim?

[flannj]

Some random dude on Twitter is tweeting at anyone and everyone that his friend knows Snork or whatever and the Cubs are going to announce at 4/$65 mil deal this week:

https://twitter.com/ZlaticAlex/with_replies

I'm mostly posting it to antagonize Bort, not because I really believe it.

His conversation with AL has the making of something truly special.  HE WANTS DETAILS DAMNIT!

Conversely, I would be pretty happy with 4/65 for Snork.

My favorite was that guy having to explain to Al the ins and outs of how DMs work.

But yes, I agree that 4/$65 would be a nice value for Shark, especially if you buy the idea that Cooper messed him up and Bosio can fix him.

The only way this deal is good for the Cubs is if there's a guarantee Bosio is here for the entirety of it.

I'm not sure why he wouldn't be.

Somebody could offer him more money, or maybe he wants a managing gig?

But if the Cubs are going to invest that kind of dough based upon a pitcher's success with a pitching coach, shouldn't they also protect the investment by giving Bosio a deal to match in terms of length?

What if Snork still sucks?

What if fish still swim?

Wait, now they need a swimming coach?

[Oleg]

Some random dude on Twitter is tweeting at anyone and everyone that his friend knows Snork or whatever and the Cubs are going to announce at 4/$65 mil deal this week:

https://twitter.com/ZlaticAlex/with_replies

I'm mostly posting it to antagonize Bort, not because I really believe it.

His conversation with AL has the making of something truly special.  HE WANTS DETAILS DAMNIT!

Conversely, I would be pretty happy with 4/65 for Snork.

My favorite was that guy having to explain to Al the ins and outs of how DMs work.

But yes, I agree that 4/$65 would be a nice value for Shark, especially if you buy the idea that Cooper messed him up and Bosio can fix him.

The only way this deal is good for the Cubs is if there's a guarantee Bosio is here for the entirety of it.

I'm not sure why he wouldn't be.

Somebody could offer him more money, or maybe he wants a managing gig?

But if the Cubs are going to invest that kind of dough based upon a pitcher's success with a pitching coach, shouldn't they also protect the investment by giving Bosio a deal to match in terms of length?

What if Snork still sucks?

Well, objectively speaking, as much as everyone may hate him, he doesn't actually suck.

[SKO]

Some random dude on Twitter is tweeting at anyone and everyone that his friend knows Snork or whatever and the Cubs are going to announce at 4/$65 mil deal this week:

https://twitter.com/ZlaticAlex/with_replies

I'm mostly posting it to antagonize Bort, not because I really believe it.

His conversation with AL has the making of something truly special.  HE WANTS DETAILS DAMNIT!

Conversely, I would be pretty happy with 4/65 for Snork.

My favorite was that guy having to explain to Al the ins and outs of how DMs work.

But yes, I agree that 4/$65 would be a nice value for Shark, especially if you buy the idea that Cooper messed him up and Bosio can fix him.

The only way this deal is good for the Cubs is if there's a guarantee Bosio is here for the entirety of it.

I'm not sure why he wouldn't be.

Somebody could offer him more money, or maybe he wants a managing gig?

But if the Cubs are going to invest that kind of dough based upon a pitcher's success with a pitching coach, shouldn't they also protect the investment by giving Bosio a deal to match in terms of length?

What if Snork still sucks?

Well, objectively speaking, as much as everyone may hate him, he doesn't actually suck.

His 2015 was fairly sucky. It's just a matter of whether you believe he's more 2014 Snork or 2015 Snork.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Some random dude on Twitter is tweeting at anyone and everyone that his friend knows Snork or whatever and the Cubs are going to announce at 4/$65 mil deal this week:

https://twitter.com/ZlaticAlex/with_replies

I'm mostly posting it to antagonize Bort, not because I really believe it.

His conversation with AL has the making of something truly special.  HE WANTS DETAILS DAMNIT!

Conversely, I would be pretty happy with 4/65 for Snork.

My favorite was that guy having to explain to Al the ins and outs of how DMs work.

But yes, I agree that 4/$65 would be a nice value for Shark, especially if you buy the idea that Cooper messed him up and Bosio can fix him.

The only way this deal is good for the Cubs is if there's a guarantee Bosio is here for the entirety of it.

I'm not sure why he wouldn't be.

Somebody could offer him more money, or maybe he wants a managing gig?

But if the Cubs are going to invest that kind of dough based upon a pitcher's success with a pitching coach, shouldn't they also protect the investment by giving Bosio a deal to match in terms of length?

What if Snork still sucks?

Well, objectively speaking, as much as everyone may hate him, he doesn't actually suck.

His 2015 was fairly sucky. It's just a matter of whether you believe he's more 2014 Snork or 2015 Snork.

His career as a starter:



He's a pile of meh.

[InternetApex]

Some random dude on Twitter is tweeting at anyone and everyone that his friend knows Snork or whatever and the Cubs are going to announce at 4/$65 mil deal this week:

https://twitter.com/ZlaticAlex/with_replies

I'm mostly posting it to antagonize Bort, not because I really believe it.

His conversation with AL has the making of something truly special.  HE WANTS DETAILS DAMNIT!

Conversely, I would be pretty happy with 4/65 for Snork.

My favorite was that guy having to explain to Al the ins and outs of how DMs work.

But yes, I agree that 4/$65 would be a nice value for Shark, especially if you buy the idea that Cooper messed him up and Bosio can fix him.

The only way this deal is good for the Cubs is if there's a guarantee Bosio is here for the entirety of it.

I'm not sure why he wouldn't be.

Somebody could offer him more money, or maybe he wants a managing gig?

But if the Cubs are going to invest that kind of dough based upon a pitcher's success with a pitching coach, shouldn't they also protect the investment by giving Bosio a deal to match in terms of length?

What if Snork still sucks?

Well, objectively speaking, as much as everyone may hate him, he doesn't actually suck.

This really pisses me off. I need a moment.



He was awful in 2015. If he repeats that performance he still sucks. I used a question mark in my post because I don't know what he's going to do this year. The fact that 2015 happened and we have no more recent data, nor any indication of a hidden injury means that right now on November 25, 2015, Snork fucking sucks. He is the worst. He is the white Edwin Jackson. He is Kanye West's fans. He is Rahm Emanuel's decision-making process. He is the gun lobby. He is Cubfaninwhereverthefuck.

Until he isn't.

[Eli]

Some random dude on Twitter is tweeting at anyone and everyone that his friend knows Snork or whatever and the Cubs are going to announce at 4/$65 mil deal this week:

https://twitter.com/ZlaticAlex/with_replies

I'm mostly posting it to antagonize Bort, not because I really believe it.

His conversation with AL has the making of something truly special.  HE WANTS DETAILS DAMNIT!

Conversely, I would be pretty happy with 4/65 for Snork.

My favorite was that guy having to explain to Al the ins and outs of how DMs work.

But yes, I agree that 4/$65 would be a nice value for Shark, especially if you buy the idea that Cooper messed him up and Bosio can fix him.

The only way this deal is good for the Cubs is if there's a guarantee Bosio is here for the entirety of it.

I'm not sure why he wouldn't be.

Somebody could offer him more money, or maybe he wants a managing gig?

But if the Cubs are going to invest that kind of dough based upon a pitcher's success with a pitching coach, shouldn't they also protect the investment by giving Bosio a deal to match in terms of length?

What if Snork still sucks?

Well, objectively speaking, as much as everyone may hate him, he doesn't actually suck.

His 2015 was fairly sucky. It's just a matter of whether you believe he's more 2014 Snork or 2015 Snork.

His career as a starter:



He's a pile of meh.

800+ innings of a 3.69 FIP isn't meh.

[SKO]

Some random dude on Twitter is tweeting at anyone and everyone that his friend knows Snork or whatever and the Cubs are going to announce at 4/$65 mil deal this week:

https://twitter.com/ZlaticAlex/with_replies

I'm mostly posting it to antagonize Bort, not because I really believe it.

His conversation with AL has the making of something truly special.  HE WANTS DETAILS DAMNIT!

Conversely, I would be pretty happy with 4/65 for Snork.

My favorite was that guy having to explain to Al the ins and outs of how DMs work.

But yes, I agree that 4/$65 would be a nice value for Shark, especially if you buy the idea that Cooper messed him up and Bosio can fix him.

The only way this deal is good for the Cubs is if there's a guarantee Bosio is here for the entirety of it.

I'm not sure why he wouldn't be.

Somebody could offer him more money, or maybe he wants a managing gig?

But if the Cubs are going to invest that kind of dough based upon a pitcher's success with a pitching coach, shouldn't they also protect the investment by giving Bosio a deal to match in terms of length?

What if Snork still sucks?

Well, objectively speaking, as much as everyone may hate him, he doesn't actually suck.

His 2015 was fairly sucky. It's just a matter of whether you believe he's more 2014 Snork or 2015 Snork.

His career as a starter:



He's a pile of meh.

800+ innings of a 3.69 FIP isn't meh.

Yeah, and it's been shown that his numbers in 2015, while bad even if you're just looking at peripherals, were hurt very badly by the White Sox hilarious awful defense, and certainly the defenses behind him at the nadir of the rebuilding years for the Cubs weren't great either.

[InternetApex]

Some random dude on Twitter is tweeting at anyone and everyone that his friend knows Snork or whatever and the Cubs are going to announce at 4/$65 mil deal this week:

https://twitter.com/ZlaticAlex/with_replies

I'm mostly posting it to antagonize Bort, not because I really believe it.

His conversation with AL has the making of something truly special.  HE WANTS DETAILS DAMNIT!

Conversely, I would be pretty happy with 4/65 for Snork.

My favorite was that guy having to explain to Al the ins and outs of how DMs work.

But yes, I agree that 4/$65 would be a nice value for Shark, especially if you buy the idea that Cooper messed him up and Bosio can fix him.

The only way this deal is good for the Cubs is if there's a guarantee Bosio is here for the entirety of it.

I'm not sure why he wouldn't be.

Somebody could offer him more money, or maybe he wants a managing gig?

But if the Cubs are going to invest that kind of dough based upon a pitcher's success with a pitching coach, shouldn't they also protect the investment by giving Bosio a deal to match in terms of length?

What if Snork still sucks?

Well, objectively speaking, as much as everyone may hate him, he doesn't actually suck.

His 2015 was fairly sucky. It's just a matter of whether you believe he's more 2014 Snork or 2015 Snork.

His career as a starter:



He's a pile of meh.

800+ innings of a 3.69 FIP isn't meh.

Yeah, that's like Brandon McCarthy, Bronson Arroyo territory.

*consults imaginary physician regarding air boner lasting more than four hours*

[SKO]

Some random dude on Twitter is tweeting at anyone and everyone that his friend knows Snork or whatever and the Cubs are going to announce at 4/$65 mil deal this week:

https://twitter.com/ZlaticAlex/with_replies

I'm mostly posting it to antagonize Bort, not because I really believe it.

His conversation with AL has the making of something truly special.  HE WANTS DETAILS DAMNIT!

Conversely, I would be pretty happy with 4/65 for Snork.

My favorite was that guy having to explain to Al the ins and outs of how DMs work.

But yes, I agree that 4/$65 would be a nice value for Shark, especially if you buy the idea that Cooper messed him up and Bosio can fix him.

The only way this deal is good for the Cubs is if there's a guarantee Bosio is here for the entirety of it.

I'm not sure why he wouldn't be.

Somebody could offer him more money, or maybe he wants a managing gig?

But if the Cubs are going to invest that kind of dough based upon a pitcher's success with a pitching coach, shouldn't they also protect the investment by giving Bosio a deal to match in terms of length?

What if Snork still sucks?

Well, objectively speaking, as much as everyone may hate him, he doesn't actually suck.

His 2015 was fairly sucky. It's just a matter of whether you believe he's more 2014 Snork or 2015 Snork.

His career as a starter:



He's a pile of meh.

800+ innings of a 3.69 FIP isn't meh.

Yeah, that's like Brandon McCarthy, Bronson Arroyo territory.

*consults imaginary physician regarding air boner lasting more than four hours*

Brandon McCarthy has never managed to put together multiple 200 inning seasons, and actually is a pretty good pitcher when healthy, which is almost never. Which is actually part of Snork's appeal, because it turns out that when investing a lot of money in a pitcher it helps to invest it in one who doesn't get hurt a lot.

[InternetApex]

Some random dude on Twitter is tweeting at anyone and everyone that his friend knows Snork or whatever and the Cubs are going to announce at 4/$65 mil deal this week:

https://twitter.com/ZlaticAlex/with_replies

I'm mostly posting it to antagonize Bort, not because I really believe it.

His conversation with AL has the making of something truly special.  HE WANTS DETAILS DAMNIT!

Conversely, I would be pretty happy with 4/65 for Snork.

My favorite was that guy having to explain to Al the ins and outs of how DMs work.

But yes, I agree that 4/$65 would be a nice value for Shark, especially if you buy the idea that Cooper messed him up and Bosio can fix him.

The only way this deal is good for the Cubs is if there's a guarantee Bosio is here for the entirety of it.

I'm not sure why he wouldn't be.

Somebody could offer him more money, or maybe he wants a managing gig?

But if the Cubs are going to invest that kind of dough based upon a pitcher's success with a pitching coach, shouldn't they also protect the investment by giving Bosio a deal to match in terms of length?

What if Snork still sucks?

Well, objectively speaking, as much as everyone may hate him, he doesn't actually suck.

His 2015 was fairly sucky. It's just a matter of whether you believe he's more 2014 Snork or 2015 Snork.

His career as a starter:



He's a pile of meh.

800+ innings of a 3.69 FIP isn't meh.

Yeah, that's like Brandon McCarthy, Bronson Arroyo territory.

*consults imaginary physician regarding air boner lasting more than four hours*

Brandon McCarthy has never managed to put together multiple 200 inning seasons, and actually is a pretty good pitcher when healthy, which is almost never. Which is actually part of Snork's appeal, because it turns out that when investing a lot of money in a pitcher it helps to invest it in one who doesn't get hurt a lot.

Look here, kiddo. I have an agenda. And if you think you're going to derail this train with your inexplicable bullshit toleration and fuzzy laptop science, pack a lunch.

[Eli]

Yeah, that's like Brandon McCarthy, Bronson Arroyo territory.

I know what joke you're making and I DON'T CARE BECAUSE

*takes deep breath*

That's actually a lot better than McCarthy and Arroyo.

[Saul Goodman]

Some random dude on Twitter is tweeting at anyone and everyone that his friend knows Snork or whatever and the Cubs are going to announce at 4/$65 mil deal this week:

https://twitter.com/ZlaticAlex/with_replies

I'm mostly posting it to antagonize Bort, not because I really believe it.

His conversation with AL has the making of something truly special.  HE WANTS DETAILS DAMNIT!

Conversely, I would be pretty happy with 4/65 for Snork.

My favorite was that guy having to explain to Al the ins and outs of how DMs work.

But yes, I agree that 4/$65 would be a nice value for Shark, especially if you buy the idea that Cooper messed him up and Bosio can fix him.

The only way this deal is good for the Cubs is if there's a guarantee Bosio is here for the entirety of it.

I'm not sure why he wouldn't be.

Somebody could offer him more money, or maybe he wants a managing gig?

But if the Cubs are going to invest that kind of dough based upon a pitcher's success with a pitching coach, shouldn't they also protect the investment by giving Bosio a deal to match in terms of length?

What if Snork still sucks?

Well, objectively speaking, as much as everyone may hate him, he doesn't actually suck.

His 2015 was fairly sucky. It's just a matter of whether you believe he's more 2014 Snork or 2015 Snork.

His career as a starter:



He's a pile of meh.

800+ innings of a 3.69 FIP isn't meh.

Yeah, that's like Brandon McCarthy, Bronson Arroyo territory.

*consults imaginary physician regarding air boner lasting more than four hours*

Brandon McCarthy has never managed to put together multiple 200 inning seasons, and actually is a pretty good pitcher when healthy, which is almost never. Which is actually part of Snork's appeal, because it turns out that when investing a lot of money in a pitcher it helps to invest it in one who doesn't get hurt a lot.

Look here, kiddo. I have an agenda. And if you think you're going to derail this train with your inexplicable bullshit toleration and fuzzy laptop science, pack a lunch.

I don't want Snork back either. The White Sox might have broken him, and I just don't like him. Don't ruin this unbelievably likable team with his lame ass. Especially after refusing to understand what the Cubs were trying to do.

[Bort]

The important thing to remember is that Snork is awful even if he isn't. Fuck him sideways with a rusty sledgehammer.