Fork's Old Jokes In The City 2

[Bort]

Mrs. Cubbieblue and I were returning from a wonderful vacation in Italy in September of 2008. We used our mileage plus to upgrade to business class and found ourselves in these wonderful seats that converted to a bed.  At the foot of the bed there was a tv screen.  The flight attendant brought us our dinners and champagne, and as soon as that was cleared I relaxed and immediately fell asleep.  I awaken.  It is dark.  On my screen there is someone named Carrie and her three friends.  They are speaking a language that I do not understand, or at least saying things that I can't comprehend.  I get disoriented.  I feel queasy.  I get out of my bed/seat and dash for the john.  I barely make it.  I come out of the john and start down the aisle.  I think that I am going to pass out.  Carrie and her friends are still there.  I still can't figure out what they are talking about.  I begin to sweat.  I am cold and clammy.  I try the controls on my armrest, but I am too confused.  Carrie and her friends go on and on.  They are laughing.   I know they are laughing at me.  I manage to fall asleep.  I wake again.  They are still there.  I think that I am going to die.  Through the window I see a sliver of light on the horizon.  Suddenly I hear a voice.  Is it God?  Yes. It is God.   God tells me to bring my seat to a full upright position and that the video program is ending.  I immediately recover.

Going to Desipio without reading a Stewpost is like going to Jerusalem and not wanting to see the Sexateria.

[Waco Kid]

Mrs. Cubbieblue and I were returning from a wonderful vacation in Italy in September of 2008. We used our mileage plus to upgrade to business class and found ourselves in these wonderful seats that converted to a bed.  At the foot of the bed there was a tv screen.  The flight attendant brought us our dinners and champagne, and as soon as that was cleared I relaxed and immediately fell asleep.  I awaken.  It is dark.  On my screen there is someone named Carrie and her three friends.  They are speaking a language that I do not understand, or at least saying things that I can't comprehend.  I get disoriented.  I feel queasy.  I get out of my bed/seat and dash for the john.  I barely make it.  I come out of the john and start down the aisle.  I think that I am going to pass out.  Carrie and her friends are still there.  I still can't figure out what they are talking about.  I begin to sweat.  I am cold and clammy.  I try the controls on my armrest, but I am too confused.  Carrie and her friends go on and on.  They are laughing.   I know they are laughing at me.  I manage to fall asleep.  I wake again.  They are still there.  I think that I am going to die.  Through the window I see a sliver of light on the horizon.  Suddenly I hear a voice.  Is it God?  Yes. It is God.   God tells me to bring my seat to a full upright position and that the video program is ending.  I immediately recover.

Outstanding work here.

[Dr. Nguyen Van Falk]

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=4132715

SATC2 takes everything that I hold dear as a woman and as a human—working hard, contributing to society, not being an entitled cunt like it's my job—and rapes it to death with a stiletto that costs more than my car. It is 146 minutes long, which means that I entered the theater in the bloom of youth and emerged with a family of field mice living in my long, white mustache. This is an entirely inappropriate length for what is essentially a home video of gay men playing with giant Barbie dolls...

... If this is what modern womanhood means, then just fucking veil me and sew up all my holes. Good night.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tim-siedell/a-review-of-emsex-and-the_b_593554.html

Anyway, I bet that's how a lot of Sex and the City fans feel today after seeing Sex and the City 2. I think the girls go to the Middle East or something. At first, in the theater, that may seem new and interesting. But now, after thinking about it a couple of days, you're probably like "WHY DO JEDI KNIGHTS EVEN NEED TO HOLD A LIGHTSABER? WHY DOESN'T YODA USE HIS POWERS TO FIGHT WITH, I DON'T KNOW, 20 OR SO LIGHTSABERS AT A TIME?"