Please Add Joyful Schadenfreude Here!!!

[Quality Start Machine]

Andy MacPhail's Baltiore Orioles currently sport the worst record in baseball (12-27)

Where have we seen this before?  I recall one time during the 0-14 losing streak in '97 and he coincidentally had a prearranged public/press outing and had to extemporaneously answer for his PANKness which was, as a result, more bloodlustily satisfying.  Anyway, the Cubs suck,  I'll take comfort in this.  It's all I have right now.

I'll take comfort in it when Hendry joins his old pal's organization and commences to drink himself to death while scouting the bus leagues.

Maybe that was a little strong.

Or at least take down the fucking "Jim Hendry Way" sign at the corner of Northwest Highway and Touhy Avenue in downtown Park Ridge. 

I pass that fucking thing every goddamn day on my way in to the office.  I pass the one on NW Highway and Oakton, are there really two of these up in the city?  I know he lives here, but fuck...

BTW- i am loving all the suburb love on the board today.  I feel less lame for going to TGI Fridays last night.

Did you double-date with CT? He's there most weekends, when he's not at the Olive Garden.

I seriously went on a double date to T.G.I.Friday's on Sunday night.  And I used a coupon.

That's the worst story I've ever heard in my life.  And I've heard like 4 of Pen's stories.

Shush, you. the rest of us are riveted.

Now then...how many drinks started with the name of a fruit and ended in "tini"?

[BH]

Andy MacPhail's Baltiore Orioles currently sport the worst record in baseball (12-27)

Where have we seen this before?  I recall one time during the 0-14 losing streak in '97 and he coincidentally had a prearranged public/press outing and had to extemporaneously answer for his PANKness which was, as a result, more bloodlustily satisfying.  Anyway, the Cubs suck,  I'll take comfort in this.  It's all I have right now.

I'll take comfort in it when Hendry joins his old pal's organization and commences to drink himself to death while scouting the bus leagues.

Maybe that was a little strong.

Or at least take down the fucking "Jim Hendry Way" sign at the corner of Northwest Highway and Touhy Avenue in downtown Park Ridge. 

I pass that fucking thing every goddamn day on my way in to the office.  I pass the one on NW Highway and Oakton, are there really two of these up in the city?  I know he lives here, but fuck...

BTW- i am loving all the suburb love on the board today.  I feel less lame for going to TGI Fridays last night.

Did you double-date with CT? He's there most weekends, when he's not at the Olive Garden.

I seriously went on a double date to T.G.I.Friday's on Sunday night.  And I used a coupon.

That's the worst story I've ever heard in my life.  And I've heard like 4 of Pen's stories.

I don't think most chain restaurants like applebees "cook" their food, they reheat it or they flash fry stuff, it's mostly frozen food.  
At least that's what I've been told by chef's I know.

Not going too far on a limb here, but assume someone on this board has worked at one of these fine establishments, can we get a confirmation?

[CT III]

Andy MacPhail's Baltiore Orioles currently sport the worst record in baseball (12-27)

Where have we seen this before?  I recall one time during the 0-14 losing streak in '97 and he coincidentally had a prearranged public/press outing and had to extemporaneously answer for his PANKness which was, as a result, more bloodlustily satisfying.  Anyway, the Cubs suck,  I'll take comfort in this.  It's all I have right now.

I'll take comfort in it when Hendry joins his old pal's organization and commences to drink himself to death while scouting the bus leagues.

Maybe that was a little strong.

Or at least take down the fucking "Jim Hendry Way" sign at the corner of Northwest Highway and Touhy Avenue in downtown Park Ridge. 

I pass that fucking thing every goddamn day on my way in to the office.  I pass the one on NW Highway and Oakton, are there really two of these up in the city?  I know he lives here, but fuck...

BTW- i am loving all the suburb love on the board today.  I feel less lame for going to TGI Fridays last night.

Did you double-date with CT? He's there most weekends, when he's not at the Olive Garden.

I seriously went on a double date to T.G.I.Friday's on Sunday night.  And I used a coupon.

Did you have the potato skins?

No, but a sampler was shared by all parties.

After all that pizza you ate at Mullen's?

[flannj]

Andy MacPhail's Baltiore Orioles currently sport the worst record in baseball (12-27)

Where have we seen this before?  I recall one time during the 0-14 losing streak in '97 and he coincidentally had a prearranged public/press outing and had to extemporaneously answer for his PANKness which was, as a result, more bloodlustily satisfying.  Anyway, the Cubs suck,  I'll take comfort in this.  It's all I have right now.

I'll take comfort in it when Hendry joins his old pal's organization and commences to drink himself to death while scouting the bus leagues.

Maybe that was a little strong.

Or at least take down the fucking "Jim Hendry Way" sign at the corner of Northwest Highway and Touhy Avenue in downtown Park Ridge. 

I pass that fucking thing every goddamn day on my way in to the office.  I pass the one on NW Highway and Oakton, are there really two of these up in the city?  I know he lives here, but fuck...

BTW- i am loving all the suburb love on the board today.  I feel less lame for going to TGI Fridays last night.

Did you double-date with CT? He's there most weekends, when he's not at the Olive Garden.

I seriously went on a double date to T.G.I.Friday's on Sunday night.  And I used a coupon.

Did you have the potato skins?

No, but a sampler was shared by all parties.

And the entree?

[Kermit IV]

Andy MacPhail's Baltiore Orioles currently sport the worst record in baseball (12-27)

Where have we seen this before?  I recall one time during the 0-14 losing streak in '97 and he coincidentally had a prearranged public/press outing and had to extemporaneously answer for his PANKness which was, as a result, more bloodlustily satisfying.  Anyway, the Cubs suck,  I'll take comfort in this.  It's all I have right now.

I'll take comfort in it when Hendry joins his old pal's organization and commences to drink himself to death while scouting the bus leagues.

Maybe that was a little strong.

Or at least take down the fucking "Jim Hendry Way" sign at the corner of Northwest Highway and Touhy Avenue in downtown Park Ridge. 

I pass that fucking thing every goddamn day on my way in to the office.  I pass the one on NW Highway and Oakton, are there really two of these up in the city?  I know he lives here, but fuck...

BTW- i am loving all the suburb love on the board today.  I feel less lame for going to TGI Fridays last night.

Did you double-date with CT? He's there most weekends, when he's not at the Olive Garden.

I seriously went on a double date to T.G.I.Friday's on Sunday night.  And I used a coupon.

Did you have the potato skins?

No, but a sampler was shared by all parties.

After all that pizza you ate at Mullen's?

That's why we shared.  I love Mullen's on Sundays.  $54 bill for, what, 10 people?

HOORAY, SUBURBS!!!

[Kermit IV]

Andy MacPhail's Baltiore Orioles currently sport the worst record in baseball (12-27)

Where have we seen this before?  I recall one time during the 0-14 losing streak in '97 and he coincidentally had a prearranged public/press outing and had to extemporaneously answer for his PANKness which was, as a result, more bloodlustily satisfying.  Anyway, the Cubs suck,  I'll take comfort in this.  It's all I have right now.

I'll take comfort in it when Hendry joins his old pal's organization and commences to drink himself to death while scouting the bus leagues.

Maybe that was a little strong.

Or at least take down the fucking "Jim Hendry Way" sign at the corner of Northwest Highway and Touhy Avenue in downtown Park Ridge. 

I pass that fucking thing every goddamn day on my way in to the office.  I pass the one on NW Highway and Oakton, are there really two of these up in the city?  I know he lives here, but fuck...

BTW- i am loving all the suburb love on the board today.  I feel less lame for going to TGI Fridays last night.

Did you double-date with CT? He's there most weekends, when he's not at the Olive Garden.

I seriously went on a double date to T.G.I.Friday's on Sunday night.  And I used a coupon.

That's the worst story I've ever heard in my life.  And I've heard like 4 of Pen's stories.

You should definitely try to fight this story, then cry, then black out.

[CT III]

Andy MacPhail's Baltiore Orioles currently sport the worst record in baseball (12-27)

Where have we seen this before?  I recall one time during the 0-14 losing streak in '97 and he coincidentally had a prearranged public/press outing and had to extemporaneously answer for his PANKness which was, as a result, more bloodlustily satisfying.  Anyway, the Cubs suck,  I'll take comfort in this.  It's all I have right now.

I'll take comfort in it when Hendry joins his old pal's organization and commences to drink himself to death while scouting the bus leagues.

Maybe that was a little strong.

Or at least take down the fucking "Jim Hendry Way" sign at the corner of Northwest Highway and Touhy Avenue in downtown Park Ridge. 

I pass that fucking thing every goddamn day on my way in to the office.  I pass the one on NW Highway and Oakton, are there really two of these up in the city?  I know he lives here, but fuck...

BTW- i am loving all the suburb love on the board today.  I feel less lame for going to TGI Fridays last night.

Did you double-date with CT? He's there most weekends, when he's not at the Olive Garden.

I seriously went on a double date to T.G.I.Friday's on Sunday night.  And I used a coupon.

Did you have the potato skins?

No, but a sampler was shared by all parties.

After all that pizza you ate at Mullen's?

That's why we shared.  I love Mullen's on Sundays.  $54 bill for, what, 10 people?

HOORAY, SUBURBS!!!

Yeah, someone at Mullen's made a serious miscalculation on pricing for Sunday.  $2 Smithwick's drafts?  More please.

[PenPho]

Andy MacPhail's Baltiore Orioles currently sport the worst record in baseball (12-27)

Where have we seen this before?  I recall one time during the 0-14 losing streak in '97 and he coincidentally had a prearranged public/press outing and had to extemporaneously answer for his PANKness which was, as a result, more bloodlustily satisfying.  Anyway, the Cubs suck,  I'll take comfort in this.  It's all I have right now.

I'll take comfort in it when Hendry joins his old pal's organization and commences to drink himself to death while scouting the bus leagues.

Maybe that was a little strong.

Or at least take down the fucking "Jim Hendry Way" sign at the corner of Northwest Highway and Touhy Avenue in downtown Park Ridge. 

I pass that fucking thing every goddamn day on my way in to the office.  I pass the one on NW Highway and Oakton, are there really two of these up in the city?  I know he lives here, but fuck...

BTW- i am loving all the suburb love on the board today.  I feel less lame for going to TGI Fridays last night.

Did you double-date with CT? He's there most weekends, when he's not at the Olive Garden.

I seriously went on a double date to T.G.I.Friday's on Sunday night.  And I used a coupon.

That's the worst story I've ever heard in my life.  And I've heard like 4 of Pen's stories.

Sorry that you couldn't recognize the tragic humor of the "Yammer Termination" story.