2010 WORLD CUP - SOCCER IS GHEY.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I tried to avoid any news about yesterday's game until I could watch it myself. But, in spite of myself, I still managed to hear a couple things that were enough to suggest that the US advanced. (Notably, the first of these was something I read in the shoutbox before closing my browser. I mean, yeah, everyone over there thinks soccer is totally gay. The gayest. But rest assured that they're following it. They're talking about it. Seems they can't help themselves. The gay... it's like a virus.)

But anyways, as I finally watched the game this morning, I found myself not all that concerned with any of the near misses either way, or even Dempsey's disallowed goal. 80-some minutes in, though, I started wondering if I'd misinterpreted the things I'd read and heard and started to get a bit nervous.

Quite honestly, IAN's hilljack protestations and TDubbs' predictably uninspired parries aside, the 90+ scoreless minutes in this game are a perfect case in point for why "low scoring" doesn't necessarily mean "boring."

Sure, if you don't give a shit about the final result, all that fast kicking, low scoring and ties (you bet!) wouldn't look like action to you.

If you actually have an emotional stake in who wins, though, nil-nil makes it all the more nerve-wracking. If one goal wins it, any one of the 19 shots taken by either side could be the difference between watching the US advance to the knockout stage or going home.

Even having an inkling about the outcome, my stomach was tying itself up in knots by the end. If I had been a long-suffering US soccer fan watching it live, I'd have most likely suffered a nervous breakdown by minute 89, after watching cross after cross fruitlessly fly through the boxes at both ends in a very open game that saw big rushes and counterattacks from beginning to end.

And then, boom... there's Landon Donovan, who I gather is a pretty big douchebag and who I gather came into the World Cup with a stigma of being overrated but damned if he didn't come up huge for a second straight game. It was one hell of a payoff.

[Slaky]

Does performance in one WC have any bearing on the next one, as far as seeds or brackets go, or is it determined by International play closer to the event?

Thanks,I'll hang up and wait for your answer.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2014_FIFA_World_Cup_qualification

Brazil is already in by virtue of hosting the games. They would have qualified anyway because they're fucking Brazil.

You can see on the link how the continental qualifications are run. Each continent does something slightly different than the others due to size and amount of countries competing.

[Canadouche]

I think one of the best parts of the World Cup is the Scottish analyst who appears between games.  I'm pretty sure that not even the recap host can understand what the guy is saying.

[Slaky]

Even non-believers can enjoy this link:

http://www.fanaticos.com/2010/06/23/asi-narro-andres-cantor-el-gol-de-landon-donovan/?sms_ss=twitter

Andres Cantor calling Donovan's goal a.k.a. The Goal That Some People Got Really Excited About While Others Remained Steadfastly Uninterested And Possibly Hostile Toward.

Catchy name, Yes?

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Even non-believers can enjoy this link:

http://www.fanaticos.com/2010/06/23/asi-narro-andres-cantor-el-gol-de-landon-donovan/?sms_ss=twitter

Andres Cantor calling Donovan's goal a.k.a. The Goal That Some People Got Really Excited About While Others Remained Steadfastly Uninterested And Possibly Hostile Toward Around The World

Catchy name, Yes?

Isn't that required?'d

[Slaky]

This is pretty excellent too - http://deadspin.com/5571222/a-childrens-treasury-of-drunk-people-screaming-about-donovans-goal

[J. Walter Weatherman]

This is pretty excellent too - http://deadspin.com/5571222/a-childrens-treasury-of-drunk-people-screaming-about-donovans-goal

That's a whole lot of homos on one page.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

[Brownie]

OK, North Korea lost 3-0. Can someone help that squad defect, because they are NOT going to want to go home.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

OK, North Korea lost 3-0.

An imperialist lie if I've ever seen one.

http://twitter.com/DPRK_FA

[CT III]

OK, North Korea lost 3-0. Can someone help that squad defect, because they are NOT going to want to go home.

Aren't they all Japanese anyway?  I think it would terribly unfair to send actual Norks to the competition, since their simple, agrarian lifestyle would likely mean they are all in peak physical condition.

[Canadouche]

OK, North Korea lost 3-0.

An imperialist lie if I've ever seen one.

http://twitter.com/DPRK_FA

Fun Filtered.  What does it say?

[Saul Goodman]

OK, North Korea lost 3-0.

An imperialist lie if I've ever seen one.

http://twitter.com/DPRK_FA

Fun Filtered.  What does it say?

Everything I dreamed it would.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

OK, North Korea lost 3-0. Can someone help that squad defect, because they are NOT going to want to go home.

Aren't they all Japanese anyway?  I think it would terribly unfair to send actual Norks to the competition, since their simple, agrarian lifestyle would likely mean they are all in peak physical condition.

Two of them are Japanese-born and play professionally in Japan, while their Korean-born captain plays for a club in Russia. The rest are Korean-born Koreans who choose to play in the best Korea in the world.

It's quite a tribute to the Norks' natural in-born sense of efficiency that it took a mere three imperialist stooges to bring down Dear Leader's team of historical materialist destiny from within.

[BH]

OK, North Korea lost 3-0. Can someone help that squad defect, because they are NOT going to want to go home.

In north korea, they actually reported that they beat brazil 4-0.