Pizza Pizza

[SKO]

http://foodspin.deadspin.com/jon-stewart-rips-chicago-pizza-a-new-saucehole-1464376414

What is happening on the interwebs?   The next civil war is about to start over Chicago deep dish or the tomato sauce poured on a soggy piece of the New York Times Sunday Magazine.
http://jezebel.com/pizza-wars-will-no-one-defend-the-deep-dish-1464583529

I have no idea who any of those people are, but I like pizza.

Pizza is great. Thick, thin, medium. Sauce, cheese, bread. It's a great combo. I celebrate it in most if not all forms.

Any form except Totino's. Rolls or za, that shit is awful.

Look if there's a better Friday night then sitting in my underpants drinking bourbon and eating totino's pizza rolls and swallowing sadness.....well...I really need to find it.

jesus Christ RV hates Totino's pizza rolls? Are you...is this...Paul? I...

What the fuck

I don't know how a man can hate pizza rolls.  They don't pretend to be anything more than they are. You're not ordering them at a fancy restaurant. You want something greasy and you feel adventurous. Will this bite destroy my taste buds in a river of cheesy, saucy magma? Will I break a tooth on that one that always has the frozen center no matter how hot the others are? Is it worth the risk? YOU DAMN WELL KNOW IT IS

There are two valid reasons to eat pizza rolls: you are 12 years old, or you are drunk blacked out and hungry and at someone's house who for unknown reasons chose to buy pizza rolls instead of frozen pizza while presumably sober. There is no shame in either.

Agreed with slight modifications. Why stock up on pizza rolls when frozen pizza is available?

You can only eat 1 or 2 frozen pizzas. You can eat close to 100 pizza rolls.

Isn't the appeal of the pizza roll that you can just toss 15 of them in microwave for 2 minutes and not mess with all that pre-heating and cooking?

Yes. The appeal of pizza rolls is that it's the quickest way to shove a greasy pocket of cheese and meat into my foodhole. This may be too lowbrow for RV, but the rest of us live in America where this is an ideal to strive toward.

[R-V]

http://foodspin.deadspin.com/jon-stewart-rips-chicago-pizza-a-new-saucehole-1464376414

What is happening on the interwebs?   The next civil war is about to start over Chicago deep dish or the tomato sauce poured on a soggy piece of the New York Times Sunday Magazine.
http://jezebel.com/pizza-wars-will-no-one-defend-the-deep-dish-1464583529

I have no idea who any of those people are, but I like pizza.

Pizza is great. Thick, thin, medium. Sauce, cheese, bread. It's a great combo. I celebrate it in most if not all forms.

Any form except Totino's. Rolls or za, that shit is awful.

Look if there's a better Friday night then sitting in my underpants drinking bourbon and eating totino's pizza rolls and swallowing sadness.....well...I really need to find it.

jesus Christ RV hates Totino's pizza rolls? Are you...is this...Paul? I...

What the fuck

I don't know how a man can hate pizza rolls.  They don't pretend to be anything more than they are. You're not ordering them at a fancy restaurant. You want something greasy and you feel adventurous. Will this bite destroy my taste buds in a river of cheesy, saucy magma? Will I break a tooth on that one that always has the frozen center no matter how hot the others are? Is it worth the risk? YOU DAMN WELL KNOW IT IS

There are two valid reasons to eat pizza rolls: you are 12 years old, or you are drunk blacked out and hungry and at someone's house who for unknown reasons chose to buy pizza rolls instead of frozen pizza while presumably sober. There is no shame in either.

Agreed with slight modifications. Why stock up on pizza rolls when frozen pizza is available?

You can only eat 1 or 2 frozen pizzas. You can eat close to 100 pizza rolls.

Isn't the appeal of the pizza roll that you can just toss 15 of them in microwave for 2 minutes and not mess with all that pre-heating and cooking?

Yes. The appeal of pizza rolls is that it's the quickest way to shove a greasy pocket of cheese and meat into my foodhole. This may be too lowbrow for RV, but the rest of us live in America where this is an ideal to strive toward.

White Castle sliders come in convenient lowbrow microwaveable form if you need an appetizer while waiting the interminable 20 minutes for your za to /preheat cook.

[Quality Start Machine]

http://foodspin.deadspin.com/jon-stewart-rips-chicago-pizza-a-new-saucehole-1464376414

What is happening on the interwebs?   The next civil war is about to start over Chicago deep dish or the tomato sauce poured on a soggy piece of the New York Times Sunday Magazine.
http://jezebel.com/pizza-wars-will-no-one-defend-the-deep-dish-1464583529

I have no idea who any of those people are, but I like pizza.

Pizza is great. Thick, thin, medium. Sauce, cheese, bread. It's a great combo. I celebrate it in most if not all forms.

Any form except Totino's. Rolls or za, that shit is awful.

Look if there's a better Friday night then sitting in my underpants drinking bourbon and eating totino's pizza rolls and swallowing sadness.....well...I really need to find it.

jesus Christ RV hates Totino's pizza rolls? Are you...is this...Paul? I...

What the fuck

Agreed.  Pizza rolls are fucking awesome.

I'm surprised that Huey isn't extolling the virtues of pizza puffs, since they are as Chicagoan as Italian Beef.

[Slaky]

http://foodspin.deadspin.com/jon-stewart-rips-chicago-pizza-a-new-saucehole-1464376414

What is happening on the interwebs?   The next civil war is about to start over Chicago deep dish or the tomato sauce poured on a soggy piece of the New York Times Sunday Magazine.
http://jezebel.com/pizza-wars-will-no-one-defend-the-deep-dish-1464583529

I have no idea who any of those people are, but I like pizza.

Pizza is great. Thick, thin, medium. Sauce, cheese, bread. It's a great combo. I celebrate it in most if not all forms.

Any form except Totino's. Rolls or za, that shit is awful.

Look if there's a better Friday night then sitting in my underpants drinking bourbon and eating totino's pizza rolls and swallowing sadness.....well...I really need to find it.

jesus Christ RV hates Totino's pizza rolls? Are you...is this...Paul? I...

What the fuck

I don't know how a man can hate pizza rolls.  They don't pretend to be anything more than they are. You're not ordering them at a fancy restaurant. You want something greasy and you feel adventurous. Will this bite destroy my taste buds in a river of cheesy, saucy magma? Will I break a tooth on that one that always has the frozen center no matter how hot the others are? Is it worth the risk? YOU DAMN WELL KNOW IT IS

There are two valid reasons to eat pizza rolls: you are 12 years old, or you are drunk blacked out and hungry and at someone's house who for unknown reasons chose to buy pizza rolls instead of frozen pizza while presumably sober. There is no shame in either.

Agreed with slight modifications. Why stock up on pizza rolls when frozen pizza is available?

You can only eat 1 or 2 frozen pizzas. You can eat close to 100 pizza rolls.

Baby shit comes in small pieces too. I bet the average stomach could hold a lot of baby shit.

Lord knows I've tried

[Tonker]

http://foodspin.deadspin.com/jon-stewart-rips-chicago-pizza-a-new-saucehole-1464376414

What is happening on the interwebs?   The next civil war is about to start over Chicago deep dish or the tomato sauce poured on a soggy piece of the New York Times Sunday Magazine.
http://jezebel.com/pizza-wars-will-no-one-defend-the-deep-dish-1464583529

I have no idea who any of those people are, but I like pizza.

Pizza is great. Thick, thin, medium. Sauce, cheese, bread. It's a great combo. I celebrate it in most if not all forms.

Any form except Totino's. Rolls or za, that shit is awful.

Look if there's a better Friday night then sitting in my underpants drinking bourbon and eating totino's pizza rolls and swallowing sadness.....well...I really need to find it.

jesus Christ RV hates Totino's pizza rolls? Are you...is this...Paul? I...

What the fuck

I don't know how a man can hate pizza rolls.  They don't pretend to be anything more than they are. You're not ordering them at a fancy restaurant. You want something greasy and you feel adventurous. Will this bite destroy my taste buds in a river of cheesy, saucy magma? Will I break a tooth on that one that always has the frozen center no matter how hot the others are? Is it worth the risk? YOU DAMN WELL KNOW IT IS

There are two valid reasons to eat pizza rolls: you are 12 years old, or you are drunk blacked out and hungry and at someone's house who for unknown reasons chose to buy pizza rolls instead of frozen pizza while presumably sober. There is no shame in either.

Agreed with slight modifications. Why stock up on pizza rolls when frozen pizza is available?

You can only eat 1 or 2 frozen pizzas. You can eat close to 100 pizza rolls.

Baby shit comes in small pieces too. I bet the average stomach could hold a lot of baby shit.

Lord knows I've tried

I did once have a baby shit/beef jerky misunderstanding that didn't end well.

[BH]

http://foodspin.deadspin.com/jon-stewart-rips-chicago-pizza-a-new-saucehole-1464376414

What is happening on the interwebs?   The next civil war is about to start over Chicago deep dish or the tomato sauce poured on a soggy piece of the New York Times Sunday Magazine.
http://jezebel.com/pizza-wars-will-no-one-defend-the-deep-dish-1464583529

I have no idea who any of those people are, but I like pizza.

Pizza is great. Thick, thin, medium. Sauce, cheese, bread. It's a great combo. I celebrate it in most if not all forms.

Any form except Totino's. Rolls or za, that shit is awful.

Look if there's a better Friday night then sitting in my underpants drinking bourbon and eating totino's pizza rolls and swallowing sadness.....well...I really need to find it.

jesus Christ RV hates Totino's pizza rolls? Are you...is this...Paul? I...

What the fuck

I don't know how a man can hate pizza rolls.  They don't pretend to be anything more than they are. You're not ordering them at a fancy restaurant. You want something greasy and you feel adventurous. Will this bite destroy my taste buds in a river of cheesy, saucy magma? Will I break a tooth on that one that always has the frozen center no matter how hot the others are? Is it worth the risk? YOU DAMN WELL KNOW IT IS

There are two valid reasons to eat pizza rolls: you are 12 years old, or you are drunk blacked out and hungry and at someone's house who for unknown reasons chose to buy pizza rolls instead of frozen pizza while presumably sober. There is no shame in either.

Agreed with slight modifications. Why stock up on pizza rolls when frozen pizza is available?

You can only eat 1 or 2 frozen pizzas. You can eat close to 100 pizza rolls.

Baby shit comes in small pieces too. I bet the average stomach could hold a lot of baby shit.

Lord knows I've tried

I did once have a baby shit/beef jerky misunderstanding that didn't end well.

Probably better than parsnip crisps.

[Tonker]

http://foodspin.deadspin.com/jon-stewart-rips-chicago-pizza-a-new-saucehole-1464376414

What is happening on the interwebs?   The next civil war is about to start over Chicago deep dish or the tomato sauce poured on a soggy piece of the New York Times Sunday Magazine.
http://jezebel.com/pizza-wars-will-no-one-defend-the-deep-dish-1464583529

I have no idea who any of those people are, but I like pizza.

Pizza is great. Thick, thin, medium. Sauce, cheese, bread. It's a great combo. I celebrate it in most if not all forms.

Any form except Totino's. Rolls or za, that shit is awful.

Look if there's a better Friday night then sitting in my underpants drinking bourbon and eating totino's pizza rolls and swallowing sadness.....well...I really need to find it.

jesus Christ RV hates Totino's pizza rolls? Are you...is this...Paul? I...

What the fuck

I don't know how a man can hate pizza rolls.  They don't pretend to be anything more than they are. You're not ordering them at a fancy restaurant. You want something greasy and you feel adventurous. Will this bite destroy my taste buds in a river of cheesy, saucy magma? Will I break a tooth on that one that always has the frozen center no matter how hot the others are? Is it worth the risk? YOU DAMN WELL KNOW IT IS

There are two valid reasons to eat pizza rolls: you are 12 years old, or you are drunk blacked out and hungry and at someone's house who for unknown reasons chose to buy pizza rolls instead of frozen pizza while presumably sober. There is no shame in either.

Agreed with slight modifications. Why stock up on pizza rolls when frozen pizza is available?

You can only eat 1 or 2 frozen pizzas. You can eat close to 100 pizza rolls.

Baby shit comes in small pieces too. I bet the average stomach could hold a lot of baby shit.

Lord knows I've tried

I did once have a baby shit/beef jerky misunderstanding that didn't end well.

Probably better than parsnip crisps.

Mate, those parsnip crisps were unbelievably good.

[Slaky]

http://foodspin.deadspin.com/jon-stewart-rips-chicago-pizza-a-new-saucehole-1464376414

What is happening on the interwebs?   The next civil war is about to start over Chicago deep dish or the tomato sauce poured on a soggy piece of the New York Times Sunday Magazine.
http://jezebel.com/pizza-wars-will-no-one-defend-the-deep-dish-1464583529

I have no idea who any of those people are, but I like pizza.

Pizza is great. Thick, thin, medium. Sauce, cheese, bread. It's a great combo. I celebrate it in most if not all forms.

Any form except Totino's. Rolls or za, that shit is awful.

Look if there's a better Friday night then sitting in my underpants drinking bourbon and eating totino's pizza rolls and swallowing sadness.....well...I really need to find it.

jesus Christ RV hates Totino's pizza rolls? Are you...is this...Paul? I...

What the fuck

I don't know how a man can hate pizza rolls.  They don't pretend to be anything more than they are. You're not ordering them at a fancy restaurant. You want something greasy and you feel adventurous. Will this bite destroy my taste buds in a river of cheesy, saucy magma? Will I break a tooth on that one that always has the frozen center no matter how hot the others are? Is it worth the risk? YOU DAMN WELL KNOW IT IS

There are two valid reasons to eat pizza rolls: you are 12 years old, or you are drunk blacked out and hungry and at someone's house who for unknown reasons chose to buy pizza rolls instead of frozen pizza while presumably sober. There is no shame in either.

Agreed with slight modifications. Why stock up on pizza rolls when frozen pizza is available?

You can only eat 1 or 2 frozen pizzas. You can eat close to 100 pizza rolls.

Baby shit comes in small pieces too. I bet the average stomach could hold a lot of baby shit.

Lord knows I've tried

I did once have a baby shit/beef jerky misunderstanding that didn't end well.

why didn't you kill yourself

[Bort]

http://foodspin.deadspin.com/jon-stewart-rips-chicago-pizza-a-new-saucehole-1464376414

What is happening on the interwebs?   The next civil war is about to start over Chicago deep dish or the tomato sauce poured on a soggy piece of the New York Times Sunday Magazine.
http://jezebel.com/pizza-wars-will-no-one-defend-the-deep-dish-1464583529

I have no idea who any of those people are, but I like pizza.

Pizza is great. Thick, thin, medium. Sauce, cheese, bread. It's a great combo. I celebrate it in most if not all forms.

Any form except Totino's. Rolls or za, that shit is awful.

Look if there's a better Friday night then sitting in my underpants drinking bourbon and eating totino's pizza rolls and swallowing sadness.....well...I really need to find it.

jesus Christ RV hates Totino's pizza rolls? Are you...is this...Paul? I...

What the fuck

I don't know how a man can hate pizza rolls.  They don't pretend to be anything more than they are. You're not ordering them at a fancy restaurant. You want something greasy and you feel adventurous. Will this bite destroy my taste buds in a river of cheesy, saucy magma? Will I break a tooth on that one that always has the frozen center no matter how hot the others are? Is it worth the risk? YOU DAMN WELL KNOW IT IS

There are two valid reasons to eat pizza rolls: you are 12 years old, or you are drunk blacked out and hungry and at someone's house who for unknown reasons chose to buy pizza rolls instead of frozen pizza while presumably sober. There is no shame in either.

Agreed with slight modifications. Why stock up on pizza rolls when frozen pizza is available?

You can only eat 1 or 2 frozen pizzas. You can eat close to 100 pizza rolls.

Baby shit comes in small pieces too. I bet the average stomach could hold a lot of baby shit.

Lord knows I've tried

I did once have a baby shit/beef jerky misunderstanding that didn't end well.

why didn't you kill yourself

To be fair, that's a valid question to ask anyone here.

[Quality Start Machine]

So where does everyone fall on Bagel Bites?

[CBStew]

So where does everyone fall on Bagel Bites?

I don't even know what that is.   I do know that it says in Leviticus that Noah's Bagels are an abomination.

[Slaky]

So where does everyone fall on Bagel Bites?

They're fine but since the sauce and cheese aren't protected by something like, let's say Totino's magic delicious blanket of crust, mouth injuries are more common.

[Quality Start Machine]

So where does everyone fall on Bagel Bites?

They're fine but since the sauce and cheese aren't protected by something like, let's say Totino's magic delicious blanket of crust, mouth injuries are more common.

Which brings us back to the technological wonders of foldable slices of pizza.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

I take the time to bake my pizza rolls the one time of year I eat them.  Fuck the microwave.  And RV.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

So where does everyone fall on Bagel Bites?

They're fine but since the sauce and cheese aren't protected by something like, let's say Totino's magic delicious blanket of crust, mouth injuries are more common.

Which brings us back to the technological wonders of foldable slices of pizza.

Which brings us back to self-righteous New Yorkers...