Pizza Pizza

[Quality Start Machine]

So where does everyone fall on Bagel Bites?

They're fine but since the sauce and cheese aren't protected by something like, let's say Totino's magic delicious blanket of crust, mouth injuries are more common.

Which brings us back to the technological wonders of foldable slices of pizza.

Which brings us back to self-righteous New Yorkers...

I folded my little PARTY CUT squares before I lived there.

[BH]

So where does everyone fall on Bagel Bites?

They're fine but since the sauce and cheese aren't protected by something like, let's say Totino's magic delicious blanket of crust, mouth injuries are more common.

Which brings us back to the technological wonders of foldable slices of pizza.

Which brings us back to self-righteous New Yorkers...

I folded my little PARTY CUT squares before I lived there.

You've spent time in New York? I'd like to hear more.

[Bort]

So where does everyone fall on Bagel Bites?

They're fine but since the sauce and cheese aren't protected by something like, let's say Totino's magic delicious blanket of crust, mouth injuries are more common.

Which brings us back to the technological wonders of foldable slices of pizza.

Which brings us back to self-righteous New Yorkers...

I folded my little PARTY CUT squares before I lived there.

You've spent time in New York? I'd like to hear more.

That seems about as likely as CT being attacked by hornets.

[Slaky]

I take the time to bake my pizza rolls the one time of year I eat them.  Fuck the microwave.  And RV.

If you have the time, pizza rolls in the oven are right up there with anything you'd get at an Achatz restaurant.

[Internet Apex]

http://foodspin.deadspin.com/jon-stewart-rips-chicago-pizza-a-new-saucehole-1464376414

What is happening on the interwebs?   The next civil war is about to start over Chicago deep dish or the tomato sauce poured on a soggy piece of the New York Times Sunday Magazine.
http://jezebel.com/pizza-wars-will-no-one-defend-the-deep-dish-1464583529

I have no idea who any of those people are, but I like pizza.

Pizza is great. Thick, thin, medium. Sauce, cheese, bread. It's a great combo. I celebrate it in most if not all forms.

Any form except Totino's. Rolls or za, that shit is awful.

Look if there's a better Friday night then sitting in my underpants drinking bourbon and eating totino's pizza rolls and swallowing sadness.....well...I really need to find it.

jesus Christ RV hates Totino's pizza rolls? Are you...is this...Paul? I...

What the fuck

I don't know how a man can hate pizza rolls.  They don't pretend to be anything more than they are. You're not ordering them at a fancy restaurant. You want something greasy and you feel adventurous. Will this bite destroy my taste buds in a river of cheesy, saucy magma? Will I break a tooth on that one that always has the frozen center no matter how hot the others are? Is it worth the risk? YOU DAMN WELL KNOW IT IS

There are two valid reasons to eat pizza rolls: you are 12 years old, or you are drunk blacked out and hungry and at someone's house who for unknown reasons chose to buy pizza rolls instead of frozen pizza while presumably sober. There is no shame in either.

Agreed with slight modifications. Why stock up on pizza rolls when frozen pizza is available?

You can only eat 1 or 2 frozen pizzas. You can eat close to 100 pizza rolls.

Isn't the appeal of the pizza roll that you can just toss 15 of them in microwave for 2 minutes and not mess with all that pre-heating and cooking?

Yes. The appeal of pizza rolls is that it's the quickest way to shove a greasy pocket of cheese and meat into my foodhole. This may be too lowbrow for RV, but the rest of us live in America where this is an ideal to strive toward.

White Castle sliders come in convenient lowbrow microwaveable form if you need an appetizer while waiting the interminable 20 minutes for your za to /preheat cook.

Yeah. And I fuck with those too. There's a small grocery across from the place I work and they sell pizza rolls, microwavable White Castles and Frankarellious. Am I a filthy, disgusting animal? You bet your sweet, tasty little ass I am.

[Internet Apex]

I just made a decision: I'm not going to care if people put down Chicago-style deep dish pizza anymore. Instead I'm going to eat more of it. New York style pizza is delicious. But the idea that it's better than Chicago pizza doesn't make sense. It's too thick? What? If you think that, you don't really like pizza. It's like saying the baseball season is too long. Well, you don't really like baseball. Kristina Hendricks is too fat? You don't really like women. This is easy.

[PenFoe]

I just made a decision: I'm not going to care if people put down Chicago-style deep dish pizza anymore. Instead I'm going to eat more of it. New York style pizza is delicious. But the idea that it's better than Chicago pizza doesn't make sense. It's too thick? What? If you think that, you don't really like pizza. It's like saying the baseball season is too long. Well, you don't really like baseball. Kristina Hendricks is too fat? You don't really like women. This is easy.

I like to picture you drinking a Jolt Cola when you wrote this.

The only thing better than something you like is excessive amounts of something you like. 

[Slaky]

I just made a decision: I'm not going to care if people put down Chicago-style deep dish pizza anymore. Instead I'm going to eat more of it. New York style pizza is delicious. But the idea that it's better than Chicago pizza doesn't make sense. It's too thick? What? If you think that, you don't really like pizza. It's like saying the baseball season is too long. Well, you don't really like baseball. Kristina Hendricks is too fat? You don't really like women. This is easy.

This is the best damn thing you've ever written

[Internet Apex]

I just made a decision: I'm not going to care if people put down Chicago-style deep dish pizza anymore. Instead I'm going to eat more of it. New York style pizza is delicious. But the idea that it's better than Chicago pizza doesn't make sense. It's too thick? What? If you think that, you don't really like pizza. It's like saying the baseball season is too long. Well, you don't really like baseball. Kristina Hendricks is too fat? You don't really like women. This is easy.

This is the best damn thing you've ever written

Well, fuck.

[Tonker]

I just made a decision: I'm not going to care if people put down Chicago-style deep dish pizza anymore. Instead I'm going to eat more of it. New York style pizza is delicious. But the idea that it's better than Chicago pizza doesn't make sense. It's too thick? What? If you think that, you don't really like pizza. It's like saying the baseball season is too long. Well, you don't really like baseball. Kristina Hendricks is too fat? You don't really like women. This is easy.

This is the best damn thing you've ever written

Well, fuck.

Don't get carried away.  "Well, fuck." is the second best damn thing you've ever written.  It's not a long list.

[Eli]

I just made a decision: I'm not going to care if people put down Chicago-style deep dish pizza anymore. Instead I'm going to eat more of it. New York style pizza is delicious. But the idea that it's better than Chicago pizza doesn't make sense. It's too thick? What? If you think that, you don't really like pizza. It's like saying the baseball season is too long. Well, you don't really like baseball. Kristina Hendricks is too fat? You don't really like women. This is easy.

Yeah, the whole debate is dumb at its core. New York pizza is awesome. Chicago pizza is awesome. Pizza is awesome.*

* Except St. Louis style pizza because WTF.

[Saul Goodman]

I just made a decision: I'm not going to care if people put down Chicago-style deep dish pizza anymore. Instead I'm going to eat more of it. New York style pizza is delicious. But the idea that it's better than Chicago pizza doesn't make sense. It's too thick? What? If you think that, you don't really like pizza. It's like saying the baseball season is too long. Well, you don't really like baseball. Kristina Hendricks is too fat? You don't really like women. This is easy.

Yeah, the whole debate is dumb at its core. New York pizza is awesome. Chicago pizza is awesome. Pizza is awesome.*

* Except St. Louis style pizza because WTF.

St. Louis-style everything sucks.  Fact.

[PenFoe]

I just made a decision: I'm not going to care if people put down Chicago-style deep dish pizza anymore. Instead I'm going to eat more of it. New York style pizza is delicious. But the idea that it's better than Chicago pizza doesn't make sense. It's too thick? What? If you think that, you don't really like pizza. It's like saying the baseball season is too long. Well, you don't really like baseball. Kristina Hendricks is too fat? You don't really like women. This is easy.

Yeah, the whole debate is dumb at its core. New York pizza is awesome. Chicago pizza is awesome. Pizza is awesome.*

* Except St. Louis style pizza because WTF.

St. Louis-style everything sucks.  Fact.

Up until this very moment, I did not know there was even such a thing as St. Louis style pizza.

And, now having read about it - no mozzarella? 

St. Louis, you really suck.

[Quality Start Machine]

I just made a decision: I'm not going to care if people put down Chicago-style deep dish pizza anymore. Instead I'm going to eat more of it. New York style pizza is delicious. But the idea that it's better than Chicago pizza doesn't make sense. It's too thick? What? If you think that, you don't really like pizza. It's like saying the baseball season is too long. Well, you don't really like baseball. Kristina Hendricks is too fat? You don't really like women. This is easy.

Yeah, the whole debate is dumb at its core. New York pizza is awesome. Chicago pizza is awesome. Pizza is awesome.*

* Except St. Louis style pizza because WTF.

St. Louis-style everything sucks.  Fact.

Up until this very moment, I did not know there was even such a thing as St. Louis style pizza.

And, now having read about it - no mozzarella? 

St. Louis, you really suck.

This is the city that inflicts the St. Paul Sandwich upon their own.

[Tony]

I just made a decision: I'm not going to care if people put down Chicago-style deep dish pizza anymore. Instead I'm going to eat more of it. New York style pizza is delicious. But the idea that it's better than Chicago pizza doesn't make sense. It's too thick? What? If you think that, you don't really like pizza. It's like saying the baseball season is too long. Well, you don't really like baseball. Kristina Hendricks is too fat? You don't really like women. This is easy.

Yeah, the whole debate is dumb at its core. New York pizza is awesome. Chicago pizza is awesome. Pizza is awesome.*

* Except St. Louis style pizza because WTF.

St. Louis-style everything sucks.  Fact.

Up until this very moment, I did not know there was even such a thing as St. Louis style pizza.

And, now having read about it - no mozzarella? 

St. Louis, you really suck.

This is the city that inflicts the St. Paul Sandwich upon their own.

Off to google.... St. Paul Sandwich.... um what? That doesn't look tasty at all.

St. Louis did give us Chuck Berry, but that's about it.