Which former Padre will pitch again?

[Slaky]

What makes you think Prior would want to come back?

1) The Cubs are in the Major Leagues.
2) Their checks clear.
3) Negotiating something "fair" with the Cubs' front office seems to be easier done than said.

On the other hand:

1) He's a cunt.
2) He's probably still asshurt about the way the first relationship ended.
3) He's a cunt.

Okay, I'll bite.  Why, exactly, do you think he's a cunt?  When they finally opened him up, his shoulder apparently looked like roast beef.  I'm not saying he'd be better than any of their starters right now, but, yes, I'd like to see the Cubs take a flyer on him.  And now I'd like it doubly so knowing that it would piss you off.

Because it makes me feel better.

True Story: If the Slogger went back that far, you would see Apex and Weebs crying in the SBox the night the Cubs finally said goodbye to Prior.

And CT and I taking the "Fuck Mark Prior" stance.

Just saying.

I'm on board the FMP stance. He's probably not a huge pussy but I don't give a shit. I'm not trying to be his friend or his image bodyguard. He was a Cub with more promise than any Cub ever and he burned out while giving us a major tease. He didn't bother to go the Brien Taylor route and just never, ever prove his talent. He dominated the league. Then - nothing.

So fuck him. Good news for Mark is he doesn't have to worry about ditching any autograph signings now that he's a total has been.

[Ivy6]

I'm on board the FMP stance. He's probably not a huge pussy but I don't give a shit. I'm not trying to be his friend or his image bodyguard. He was a Cub with more promise than any Cub ever and he burned out while giving us a major tease. everything he had during the 2003 stretch/postseason, pitching his absolute ass off for 3 months.  He didn't bother to go the Brien Taylor route and just never, ever prove his talent. He dominated the league. Then - nothing.

So fuck him. Good news for Mark is he doesn't have to worry about ditching any autograph signings now that he's a total has been.

Oh and boofuckinghoo he left a goddamn signing early the day before making his first start off of the DL. What a pussyshit, manufactued reason to hate a guy. THINK ABOUT THE POOR EBAYERS WHO'S SIGNED ROOKIE CARD WILL THEY SELL FOR $20 NOW.

[PenPho]

I'm on board the FMP stance. He's probably not a huge pussy but I don't give a shit. I'm not trying to be his friend or his image bodyguard. He was a Cub with more promise than any Cub ever and he burned out while giving us a major tease. everything he had during the 2003 stretch/postseason, pitching his absolute ass off for 3 months.  He didn't bother to go the Brien Taylor route and just never, ever prove his talent. He dominated the league. Then - nothing.

So fuck him. Good news for Mark is he doesn't have to worry about ditching any autograph signings now that he's a total has been.

Oh and boofuckinghoo he left a goddamn signing early the day before making his first start off of the DL. What a pussyshit, manufactued reason to hate a guy. THINK ABOUT THE POOR EBAYERS WHO'S SIGNED ROOKIE CARD WILL THEY SELL FOR $20 NOW.

We're supposed to like him because he pitched his ass off for 3 months?

Just clarifying.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I'm on board the FMP stance. He's probably not a huge pussy but I don't give a shit. I'm not trying to be his friend or his image bodyguard. He was a Cub with more promise than any Cub ever and he burned out while giving us a major tease. everything he had during the 2003 stretch/postseason, pitching his absolute ass off for 3 months.  He didn't bother to go the Brien Taylor route and just never, ever prove his talent. He dominated the league. Then - nothing.

So fuck him. Good news for Mark is he doesn't have to worry about ditching any autograph signings now that he's a total has been.

Oh and boofuckinghoo he left a goddamn signing early the day before making his first start off of the DL. What a pussyshit, manufactued reason to hate a guy. THINK ABOUT THE POOR EBAYERS WHO'S SIGNED ROOKIE CARD WILL THEY SELL FOR $20 NOW.

We're supposed to like him because he pitched his ass off for 3 months?

Just clarifying.

Or at least appreciate the key role he played in (for better or worse) the greatest moment(s) we've seen as Cubs fans in the past two decades.

(You know, before the constant slow motion barrage of towel drills to our nuts.)

[Armchair_QB]

If it wasn't for Mark Prior Dusty Baker would not have had the opportunity to fuck up a 3-2 NLCS lead with two home games to close it out.

[Slaky]

I'm on board the FMP stance. He's probably not a huge pussy but I don't give a shit. I'm not trying to be his friend or his image bodyguard. He was a Cub with more promise than any Cub ever and he burned out while giving us a major tease. everything he had during the 2003 stretch/postseason, pitching his absolute ass off for 3 months.  He didn't bother to go the Brien Taylor route and just never, ever prove his talent. He dominated the league. Then - nothing.

So fuck him. Good news for Mark is he doesn't have to worry about ditching any autograph signings now that he's a total has been.

Oh and boofuckinghoo he left a goddamn signing early the day before making his first start off of the DL. What a pussyshit, manufactued reason to hate a guy. THINK ABOUT THE POOR EBAYERS WHO'S SIGNED ROOKIE CARD WILL THEY SELL FOR $20 NOW.

It's calling PILING ON. Look it up.

[Eli]

I'm on board the FMP stance. He's probably not a huge pussy but I don't give a shit. I'm not trying to be his friend or his image bodyguard. He was a Cub with more promise than any Cub ever and he burned out while giving us a major tease. everything he had during the 2003 stretch/postseason, pitching his absolute ass off for 3 months.  He didn't bother to go the Brien Taylor route and just never, ever prove his talent. He dominated the league. Then - nothing.

So fuck him. Good news for Mark is he doesn't have to worry about ditching any autograph signings now that he's a total has been.

Oh and boofuckinghoo he left a goddamn signing early the day before making his first start off of the DL. What a pussyshit, manufactued reason to hate a guy. THINK ABOUT THE POOR EBAYERS WHO'S SIGNED ROOKIE CARD WILL THEY SELL FOR $20 NOW.

We're supposed to like him because he pitched his ass off for 3 months?

Just clarifying.

He pitched his shoulder ass off for about 4 years, if that's any better to you.

[Internet Apex]

I just didn't like his body language or his facial expressions. He never looked at the pictures on the sidelines with the coaches after he gave up 450-foot missiles.

[Internet Apex]

I'm on board the FMP stance. He's probably not a huge pussy but I don't give a shit. I'm not trying to be his friend or his image bodyguard. He was a Cub with more promise than any Cub ever and he burned out while giving us a major tease. everything he had during the 2003 stretch/postseason, pitching his absolute ass off for 3 months.  He didn't bother to go the Brien Taylor route and just never, ever prove his talent. He dominated the league. Then - nothing.

So fuck him. Good news for Mark is he doesn't have to worry about ditching any autograph signings now that he's a total has been.

Oh and boofuckinghoo he left a goddamn signing early the day before making his first start off of the DL. What a pussyshit, manufactued reason to hate a guy. THINK ABOUT THE POOR EBAYERS WHO'S SIGNED ROOKIE CARD WILL THEY SELL FOR $20 NOW.

We're supposed to like him because he pitched his ass off for 3 months?

Just clarifying.

He pitched his shoulder ass off for about 4 years, if that's any better to you.

We're supposed to like him because he pitched his ass off for about 4 years?

Just clarifying.

[Oleg]

I'm on board the FMP stance. He's probably not a huge pussy but I don't give a shit. I'm not trying to be his friend or his image bodyguard. He was a Cub with more promise than any Cub ever and he burned out while giving us a major tease. everything he had during the 2003 stretch/postseason, pitching his absolute ass off for 3 months.  He didn't bother to go the Brien Taylor route and just never, ever prove his talent. He dominated the league. Then - nothing.

So fuck him. Good news for Mark is he doesn't have to worry about ditching any autograph signings now that he's a total has been.

Oh and boofuckinghoo he left a goddamn signing early the day before making his first start off of the DL. What a pussyshit, manufactued reason to hate a guy. THINK ABOUT THE POOR EBAYERS WHO'S SIGNED ROOKIE CARD WILL THEY SELL FOR $20 NOW.

We're supposed to like him because he pitched his ass off for 3 months?

Just clarifying.

He pitched his shoulder ass off for about 4 years, if that's any better to you.

We're supposed to like him because he pitched his ass off for about 4 years?

Just clarifying.

You're not supposed to do anything but be black and die.  Wait...

The fact is, Mark Prior was a fucking man in '03 and '04.  I don't even give a shit that he did steroids.  That fucker was the best pitcher in the NL those two years.  I can as bitter as anyone about those two years, but Mark Prior was not the problem.

If you want to hate him for getting hurt, fine.  I think he can piss off as far as I'm concerned.  But to just simply deny his awesomeness is as dumb as hating Greg Maddux because he got literally shit on by Larry Himes.

[Internet Apex]

I'm on board the FMP stance. He's probably not a huge pussy but I don't give a shit. I'm not trying to be his friend or his image bodyguard. He was a Cub with more promise than any Cub ever and he burned out while giving us a major tease. everything he had during the 2003 stretch/postseason, pitching his absolute ass off for 3 months.  He didn't bother to go the Brien Taylor route and just never, ever prove his talent. He dominated the league. Then - nothing.

So fuck him. Good news for Mark is he doesn't have to worry about ditching any autograph signings now that he's a total has been.

Oh and boofuckinghoo he left a goddamn signing early the day before making his first start off of the DL. What a pussyshit, manufactued reason to hate a guy. THINK ABOUT THE POOR EBAYERS WHO'S SIGNED ROOKIE CARD WILL THEY SELL FOR $20 NOW.

We're supposed to like him because he pitched his ass off for 3 months?

Just clarifying.

He pitched his shoulder ass off for about 4 years, if that's any better to you.

We're supposed to like him because he pitched his ass off for about 4 years?

Just clarifying.

You're not supposed to do anything but be black and die.  Wait...

The fact is, Mark Prior was a fucking man in '03 and '04.  I don't even give a shit that he did steroids.  That fucker was the best pitcher in the NL those two years.  I can as bitter as anyone about those two years, but Mark Prior was not the problem.

If you want to hate him for getting hurt, fine.  I think he can piss off as far as I'm concerned.  But to just simply deny his awesomeness is as dumb as hating Greg Maddux because he got literally shit on by Larry Himes.

I was always more of a Glendon Rusch guy.

[Oleg]

I'm on board the FMP stance. He's probably not a huge pussy but I don't give a shit. I'm not trying to be his friend or his image bodyguard. He was a Cub with more promise than any Cub ever and he burned out while giving us a major tease. everything he had during the 2003 stretch/postseason, pitching his absolute ass off for 3 months.  He didn't bother to go the Brien Taylor route and just never, ever prove his talent. He dominated the league. Then - nothing.

So fuck him. Good news for Mark is he doesn't have to worry about ditching any autograph signings now that he's a total has been.

Oh and boofuckinghoo he left a goddamn signing early the day before making his first start off of the DL. What a pussyshit, manufactued reason to hate a guy. THINK ABOUT THE POOR EBAYERS WHO'S SIGNED ROOKIE CARD WILL THEY SELL FOR $20 NOW.

We're supposed to like him because he pitched his ass off for 3 months?

Just clarifying.

He pitched his shoulder ass off for about 4 years, if that's any better to you.

We're supposed to like him because he pitched his ass off for about 4 years?

Just clarifying.

You're not supposed to do anything but be black and die.  Wait...

The fact is, Mark Prior was a fucking man in '03 and '04.  I don't even give a shit that he did steroids.  That fucker was the best pitcher in the NL those two years.  I can as bitter as anyone about those two years, but Mark Prior was not the problem.

If you want to hate him for getting hurt, fine.  I think he can piss off as far as I'm concerned.  But to just simply deny his awesomeness is as dumb as hating Greg Maddux because he got literally shit on by Larry Himes.

I was always more of a Glendon Rusch guy.

You would be.

[Canadouche]

I'm on board the FMP stance. He's probably not a huge pussy but I don't give a shit. I'm not trying to be his friend or his image bodyguard. He was a Cub with more promise than any Cub ever and he burned out while giving us a major tease. everything he had during the 2003 stretch/postseason, pitching his absolute ass off for 3 months.  He didn't bother to go the Brien Taylor route and just never, ever prove his talent. He dominated the league. Then - nothing.

So fuck him. Good news for Mark is he doesn't have to worry about ditching any autograph signings now that he's a total has been.

Oh and boofuckinghoo he left a goddamn signing early the day before making his first start off of the DL. What a pussyshit, manufactued reason to hate a guy. THINK ABOUT THE POOR EBAYERS WHO'S SIGNED ROOKIE CARD WILL THEY SELL FOR $20 NOW.

We're supposed to like him because he pitched his ass off for 3 months?

Just clarifying.

He pitched his shoulder ass off for about 4 years, if that's any better to you.

We're supposed to like him because he pitched his ass off for about 4 years?

Just clarifying.

You're not supposed to do anything but be black and die.  Wait...

The fact is, Mark Prior was a fucking man in '03 and '04.  I don't even give a shit that he did steroids.  That fucker was the best pitcher in the NL those two years.  I can as bitter as anyone about those two years, but Mark Prior was not the problem.

If you want to hate him for getting hurt, fine.  I think he can piss off as far as I'm concerned.  But to just simply deny his awesomeness is as dumb as hating Greg Maddux because he got literally shit on by Larry Himes.

Watching Prior pitch in '04 was excruciating.  How many games did he leave early because he hurt himself again?

I'm with you otherwise, Oleg.  Prior in '03 was awe-inspiring.  Truly amazing.  But I think I'd rather never own a Porsche than to drive one for a week, only to see it totaled and towed away.

[Oleg]

I'm on board the FMP stance. He's probably not a huge pussy but I don't give a shit. I'm not trying to be his friend or his image bodyguard. He was a Cub with more promise than any Cub ever and he burned out while giving us a major tease. everything he had during the 2003 stretch/postseason, pitching his absolute ass off for 3 months.  He didn't bother to go the Brien Taylor route and just never, ever prove his talent. He dominated the league. Then - nothing.

So fuck him. Good news for Mark is he doesn't have to worry about ditching any autograph signings now that he's a total has been.

Oh and boofuckinghoo he left a goddamn signing early the day before making his first start off of the DL. What a pussyshit, manufactued reason to hate a guy. THINK ABOUT THE POOR EBAYERS WHO'S SIGNED ROOKIE CARD WILL THEY SELL FOR $20 NOW.

We're supposed to like him because he pitched his ass off for 3 months?

Just clarifying.

He pitched his shoulder ass off for about 4 years, if that's any better to you.

We're supposed to like him because he pitched his ass off for about 4 years?

Just clarifying.

You're not supposed to do anything but be black and die.  Wait...

The fact is, Mark Prior was a fucking man in '03 and '04.  I don't even give a shit that he did steroids.  That fucker was the best pitcher in the NL those two years.  I can as bitter as anyone about those two years, but Mark Prior was not the problem.

If you want to hate him for getting hurt, fine.  I think he can piss off as far as I'm concerned.  But to just simply deny his awesomeness is as dumb as hating Greg Maddux because he got literally shit on by Larry Himes.

Watching Prior pitch in '04 was excruciating.  How many games did he leave early because he hurt himself again?

I'm with you otherwise, Oleg.  Prior in '03 was awe-inspiring.  Truly amazing.  But I think I'd rather never own a Porsche than to drive one for a week, only to see it totaled and towed away.

You're right.  I guess I emant '02 and '03.

[Yeti]

BRING MARK PRIOR BACK