Jim Memolo Time to be Buyers and Win this Whole Fargin Thing Miracle Thread

[Powdered Toast Man]

You know, Brownie's threads are great morale boosts for me as a Cub fan this time of year.  The optimism, after beating a decent enough team in the Phillies three out of four, was starting to sneack back into my water head.  The Astros come to town and I think it's completely within the realm of possibility to bash their skulls in for three games.

And then, like the righteous hammer of God, the Cubs go and ball up their nut punching fists and hit me square in the dick-n-balls.

Our Cubbiez are a solid 6-16 against the Pirates, Astros and Mariners. If we can travel back in time and flip that to 16-6, they'll be tied with the Reds for 2nd. It's gonna alternate universe hai!

When it comes down to it, who's fault is that?  Is it the manager's, the players' or just some anomalous happenstance?

Pretty sure it's Obama's fault.

Redistrubiting wins to less fortunate teams.

The Pirates and Astros have really benefited from Obamacare.

And it's proof that everyone loses.

[Bort]

You know, Brownie's threads are great morale boosts for me as a Cub fan this time of year.  The optimism, after beating a decent enough team in the Phillies three out of four, was starting to sneack back into my water head.  The Astros come to town and I think it's completely within the realm of possibility to bash their skulls in for three games.

And then, like the righteous hammer of God, the Cubs go and ball up their nut punching fists and hit me square in the dick-n-balls.

Our Cubbiez are a solid 6-16 against the Pirates, Astros and Mariners. If we can travel back in time and flip that to 16-6, they'll be tied with the Reds for 2nd. It's gonna alternate universe hai!

When it comes down to it, who's fault is that?  Is it the manager's, the players' or just some anomalous happenstance?

Pretty sure it's Obama's fault.

Redistrubiting wins to less fortunate teams.

The Pirates and Astros have really benefited from Obamacare.

And it's proof that everyone loses.

None of this will happen if Rand Paul gets elected.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

You know, Brownie's threads are great morale boosts for me as a Cub fan this time of year.  The optimism, after beating a decent enough team in the Phillies three out of four, was starting to sneack back into my water head.  The Astros come to town and I think it's completely within the realm of possibility to bash their skulls in for three games.

And then, like the righteous hammer of God, the Cubs go and ball up their nut punching fists and hit me square in the dick-n-balls.

Our Cubbiez are a solid 6-16 against the Pirates, Astros and Mariners. If we can travel back in time and flip that to 16-6, they'll be tied with the Reds for 2nd. It's gonna alternate universe hai!

When it comes down to it, who's fault is that?  Is it the manager's, the players' or just some anomalous happenstance?

Pretty sure it's Obama's fault.

Redistrubiting wins to less fortunate teams.

The Pirates and Astros have really benefited from Obamacare.

And it's proof that everyone loses.

None of this will happen if Rand Paul gets elected.

Paul-Angle 2012!

[R-V]

If our Cubbiez can hold this lead, they'll move into a tie with the Brewers. Look out, NL Central!

I really need some optimism to counter the crushing despair that comes with the realization that the Cubs are going to have a dipshit owner for the rest of my adult life. If Aramis gets 7 RBIs every day for the rest of the season, what kind of scenarios can the TJputer offer us?

[Armchair_QB]

If our Cubbiez can hold this lead, they'll move into a tie with the Brewers. Look out, NL Central!

I really need some optimism to counter the crushing despair that comes with the realization that the Cubs are going to have a dipshit owner for the rest of my adult life. If Aramis gets 7 RBIs every day for the rest of the season, what kind of scenarios can the TJputer offer us?

Hey, the Illini start two-a-days in a couple of weeks so you have that to look forward to.

[Saul Goodman]

If our Cubbiez can hold this lead, they'll move into a tie with the Brewers. Look out, NL Central!

I really need some optimism to counter the crushing despair that comes with the realization that the Cubs are going to have a dipshit owner for the rest of my adult life. If Aramis gets 7 RBIs every day for the rest of the season, what kind of scenarios can the TJputer offer us?

Hey, the Illini start two-a-days in a couple of weeks so you have that to look forward to.

lol burn

[Powdered Toast Man]

I watched the first couple of innings yesterday to find that the Cubs were being handled by the whitest guy on the Astros, Wesley Wright.  I tuned in a couple hours later to find Aramis is the hottest hitter in beisbol* and the Cubs were hammering Astro pitching.  I'm not going to get all optimistic though.  Nope...I'm not gonna let it hai...

*May or may not actually be true.

[Yeti]

I watched the first couple of innings yesterday to find that the Cubs were being handled by the whitest guy on the Astros, Wesley Wright.  I tuned in a couple hours later to find Aramis is the hottest hitter in beisbol* and the Cubs were hammering Astro pitching.  I'm not going to get all optimistic though.  Nope...I'm not gonna let it hai...

*May or may not actually be true.

With an OPS of 1.3 over the month of July I think he probably is.

[Eli]

I watched the first couple of innings yesterday to find that the Cubs were being handled by the whitest guy on the Astros, Wesley Wright.  I tuned in a couple hours later to find Aramis is the hottest hitter in beisbol* and the Cubs were hammering Astro pitching.  I'm not going to get all optimistic though.  Nope...I'm not gonna let it hai...

*May or may not actually be true.

With an OPS of 1.3 over the month of July I think he probably is.

He is, with Buster Posey right behind him at 1.333.  Also, Soto is 7th at 1.154.  FYPP, indeed.

[Internet Apex]

I watched the first couple of innings yesterday to find that the Cubs were being handled by the whitest guy on the Astros, Wesley Wright.  I tuned in a couple hours later to find Aramis is the hottest hitter in beisbol* and the Cubs were hammering Astro pitching.  I'm not going to get all optimistic though.  Nope...I'm not gonna let it hai...

*May or may not actually be true.

With an OPS of 1.3 over the month of July I think he probably is.

He is, with Buster Posey right behind him at 1.333.  Also, Soto is 7th at 1.154.  FYPP, indeed.

Pee Pee

[Lance Dicksons Arm]

I'm not getting back aboard the positive train until Conductor Slaky assures me that it is safe.

[Internet Apex]

I'd just like to see them play good baseball for the rest of the season. Damn the record or the standings. Just put something resembling decent play together for a couple months and I'm in.

[Powdered Toast Man]

I'd just like to see them play good baseball for the rest of the season. Damn the record or the standings. Just put something resembling decent play together for a couple months and I'm in.

Apex is saying all the things that I'm thinking.

[Bort]

I'd just like to see them play good baseball for the rest of the season. Damn the record or the standings. Just put something resembling decent play together for a couple months and I'm in. Are there any fruits left I haven't had in a beer?

Apex is saying all the things that I'm thinking.

Let's be honest'd.

[Powdered Toast Man]

I'd just like to see them play good baseball for the rest of the season. Damn the record or the standings. Just put something resembling decent play together for a couple months and I'm in. Are there any fruits left I haven't had in a beer?

Apex is saying all the things that I'm thinking.

Let's be honest'd.

I like fruit beer and I don't care who knows it.  There.