Fine Liquor

[Bort]

DPD.

Nice work, Oleg. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/as_afghanistan

You've earned yourself one hell of a time at the Phish show. Enjoy, my friend. (chokes up)

Here's an idea.  How about we don't invade other countries, you fucking Indiana hayseed.

Are you suggesting we invade our own country again? Excellent. SOUTH CAROLINA MUST BE DESTROYED!

I Just learned that South Carolina has drive-through liquor stroes.  You'll destroy it over my dead body.

We have those in Illinois, too. I'm at least burning Charleston, come hell or high water.

They I'll burn whatever cornfield your tarpaper hovel is in, Carpetbagger.

Ooh, look! Big talk from a South Carolinian. I can't see where this would possibly end in disaster four or five years down the road.

And what has your precious Iowa done lately? Gay marriage?

[SKO]

DPD.

Nice work, Oleg. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/as_afghanistan

You've earned yourself one hell of a time at the Phish show. Enjoy, my friend. (chokes up)

Here's an idea.  How about we don't invade other countries, you fucking Indiana hayseed.

Are you suggesting we invade our own country again? Excellent. SOUTH CAROLINA MUST BE DESTROYED!

I Just learned that South Carolina has drive-through liquor stroes.  You'll destroy it over my dead body.

We have those in Illinois, too. I'm at least burning Charleston, come hell or high water.

They I'll burn whatever cornfield your tarpaper hovel is in, Carpetbagger.

Ooh, look! Big talk from a South Carolinian. I can't see where this would possibly end in disaster four or five years down the road.

And what has your precious Iowa done lately? Gay marriage?

Oh go throw on some petticoats and hide from General Sherman.

[Oleg]

DPD.

Nice work, Oleg. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/as_afghanistan

You've earned yourself one hell of a time at the Phish show. Enjoy, my friend. (chokes up)

Here's an idea.  How about we don't invade other countries, you fucking Indiana hayseed.

Are you suggesting we invade our own country again? Excellent. SOUTH CAROLINA MUST BE DESTROYED!

I Just learned that South Carolina has drive-through liquor stroes.  You'll destroy it over my dead body.

We have those in Illinois, too. I'm at least burning Charleston, come hell or high water.

They I'll burn whatever cornfield your tarpaper hovel is in, Carpetbagger.

Ooh, look! Big talk from a South Carolinian. I can't see where this would possibly end in disaster four or five years down the road.

And what has your precious Iowa done lately? Gay marriage?

Oh go throw on some petticoats and hide from General Sherman.

Nothing good can come of this.

[Bort]

DPD.

Nice work, Oleg. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/as_afghanistan

You've earned yourself one hell of a time at the Phish show. Enjoy, my friend. (chokes up)

Here's an idea.  How about we don't invade other countries, you fucking Indiana hayseed.

Are you suggesting we invade our own country again? Excellent. SOUTH CAROLINA MUST BE DESTROYED!

I Just learned that South Carolina has drive-through liquor stroes.  You'll destroy it over my dead body.

We have those in Illinois, too. I'm at least burning Charleston, come hell or high water.

They I'll burn whatever cornfield your tarpaper hovel is in, Carpetbagger.

Ooh, look! Big talk from a South Carolinian. I can't see where this would possibly end in disaster four or five years down the road.

And what has your precious Iowa done lately? Gay marriage?

Oh go throw on some petticoats and hide from General Sherman.

Nothing good can come of this.

Pipe down, Ivan. You're next.

[SKO]

DPD.

Nice work, Oleg. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/as_afghanistan

You've earned yourself one hell of a time at the Phish show. Enjoy, my friend. (chokes up)

Here's an idea.  How about we don't invade other countries, you fucking Indiana hayseed.

Are you suggesting we invade our own country again? Excellent. SOUTH CAROLINA MUST BE DESTROYED!

I Just learned that South Carolina has drive-through liquor stroes.  You'll destroy it over my dead body.

We have those in Illinois, too. I'm at least burning Charleston, come hell or high water.

They I'll burn whatever cornfield your tarpaper hovel is in, Carpetbagger.

Ooh, look! Big talk from a South Carolinian. I can't see where this would possibly end in disaster four or five years down the road.

And what has your precious Iowa done lately? Gay marriage?

Oh go throw on some petticoats and hide from General Sherman.

Nothing good can come of this.

I wholeheartedly disagree.

[Bort]

DPD.

Nice work, Oleg. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/as_afghanistan

You've earned yourself one hell of a time at the Phish show. Enjoy, my friend. (chokes up)

Here's an idea.  How about we don't invade other countries, you fucking Indiana hayseed.

Are you suggesting we invade our own country again? Excellent. SOUTH CAROLINA MUST BE DESTROYED!

I Just learned that South Carolina has drive-through liquor stroes.  You'll destroy it over my dead body.

We have those in Illinois, too. I'm at least burning Charleston, come hell or high water.

They I'll burn whatever cornfield your tarpaper hovel is in, Carpetbagger.

Ooh, look! Big talk from a South Carolinian. I can't see where this would possibly end in disaster four or five years down the road.

And what has your precious Iowa done lately? Gay marriage?

Oh go throw on some petticoats and hide from General Sherman.

Nothing good can come of this.

I wholeheartedly disagree.

I've already run out of thinks to say about your jerkwater burg. Could you tell your close neighbors to do something, anything, historically interesting so that I can mock it?

[Internet Apex]

DPD.

Nice work, Oleg. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/as_afghanistan

You've earned yourself one hell of a time at the Phish show. Enjoy, my friend. (chokes up)

Here's an idea.  How about we don't invade other countries, you fucking Indiana hayseed.

Are you suggesting we invade our own country again? Excellent. SOUTH CAROLINA MUST BE DESTROYED!

I Just learned that South Carolina has drive-through liquor stroes.  You'll destroy it over my dead body.

We have those in Illinois, too. I'm at least burning Charleston, come hell or high water.

They I'll burn whatever cornfield your tarpaper hovel is in, Carpetbagger.

Ooh, look! Big talk from a South Carolinian. I can't see where this would possibly end in disaster four or five years down the road.

And what has your precious Iowa done lately? Gay marriage?

Oh go throw on some petticoats and hide from General Sherman.

Nothing good can come of this.

I wholeheartedly disagree.

I've already run out of thinks to say about your jerkwater burg. Could you tell your close neighbors to do something, anything, historically interesting so that I can mock it?

They produced Kyle Orton. You can have at that if you wish.

[SKO]

DPD.

Nice work, Oleg. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/as_afghanistan

You've earned yourself one hell of a time at the Phish show. Enjoy, my friend. (chokes up)

Here's an idea.  How about we don't invade other countries, you fucking Indiana hayseed.

Are you suggesting we invade our own country again? Excellent. SOUTH CAROLINA MUST BE DESTROYED!

I Just learned that South Carolina has drive-through liquor stroes.  You'll destroy it over my dead body.

We have those in Illinois, too. I'm at least burning Charleston, come hell or high water.

They I'll burn whatever cornfield your tarpaper hovel is in, Carpetbagger.

Ooh, look! Big talk from a South Carolinian. I can't see where this would possibly end in disaster four or five years down the road.

And what has your precious Iowa done lately? Gay marriage?

Oh go throw on some petticoats and hide from General Sherman.

Nothing good can come of this.

I wholeheartedly disagree.

I've already run out of thinks to say about your jerkwater burg. Could you tell your close neighbors to do something, anything, historically interesting so that I can mock it?

We just wanna have fun.

[Bort]

Thinks to say? Bad HUEYBOARD.

[Internet Apex]

Thinks to say? Bad HUEYBOARD.

I just assumed you were already hammed up from those perfect Manhattans. Me I woke up with my contacts in and my clothes still on at 5 a.m. today. Jack Daniels is a hard man. 

[PenPho]

I'm not much into whiskey, but I had a shot of some Irish stuff Monday night that was simply delicious and smooth.  I can't remember what it was called...some Irish name.

Good tequila is really good.

But, the good stuff...

When drinking a mixed drink, any vodka will do, even the cheap shit.  If you're not going to taste it anyway, why bother.  The exception is vodka and soda.  Use at least call vodka for that.  As for hangovers...well, if you're drinking enough mixed drinks to be hungover the next day, fuck off.  Do shots.

When doing shots, do nothing less expensive than Stoli.  In fact, Stoli is pretty much favorite that won't usually kill the wallet.  My dad keeps Svedka around.  Sometimes Three Olives.  Either is fine when not looking to go broke.  This is most certainly NOT sipping vodka.  Keep these strictly for shots.

When drinking martinis or on the rocks, keep to the expensive vodkas.  I prefer Chopin, which is a potato vodka.  Most places don't have that, but they do have Belvedere, which is the grain brother of Chopin.  I usually stick to one of these unless there's something really rare around.  I drink my martinis about as dry as can be.  You can never have too little vermouth.  Grey Goose is fine, but I just simply prefer the Polish stuff.

One more note.  For fuck's sake, do not get your vodka shots chilled, if they are not coming out of the freezer.  If you see a bartender begin to pour your vodka over ice before pouring it to your shot glass, yell at him/her.  It's a fucking crime.  Why would anyone water down their vodka like that?  Just man up and shoot it warm and not watered down.

God damn I love me my vodka.

THI.

SKO, if you want to get drunk in style, this is all you need to know.  Except that, of course, a martini is made with gin, not vodka.  Oleg's a dumb Uke, and so is James Bond.

The only time I've ever gotten a martini I had it with Gin. As far as the colorless spirits go, Gin is tops. Vodka doesn't even compare in my book. Also, light, non-spiced rum is the devil's work.

It really is just a matter of taste.  Nothing against gin, I just really like my vodka.

Which brings up one more point.  If any of you nannies drinking Stoli Orange or some other fruit falvored vodka, go fuck yourself.  Fucking pansies.

Except TDubbs and IAN.  I expect that shit from you assclowns.  But you're still pansies.

We had a guy in my dorm that was an asswipe from New Jersey. He'd do shit like blast Taylor Swift songs at full volume late into the night because he thought it was funny how pissed off people got. He had every flavor of Smirnoff "twist" or whatever the fuck it's called in his room and anytime you ran into him his first question was "dude, you drinkin?" After which he'd precede to detail just how much of his fruity vodka he had consumed to that point. Later on that guy lit a kid's shoe on fire, which set the fire alarm off and sent all of us out into the night at 2 am in the middle of February with 6 inches of snow on the ground. We responded by dipping his bed sheets in the toilet and throwing his actual bed over the top of the stalls to the bathroom. I hope that kid dies. Mainly, however, I hate the fruity vodka that I will forever associate with that assface.

Fucking CT.

[Yeti]

Thinks to say? Bad HUEYBOARD.

Seem

[powen01]

Whisky (no 'e').  Man, where to start?  First of all, if you're drinking neat whisky, it has to be single malt.  If you're not drinking it neat, then Happy Shopper Cooking Whisky is fine.  I'm not generally a big fan of the peaty whiskies (Laphroaig, Lagavulin, Ardbeg and so on) BUT the Ardbeg Supernova, which is apparently the World's peatiest whisky, is exceptional.  I prefer whisky that's come from the seaside and tastes like it - Clynelish is seaweedy and salty and my absolute, absolute favourite.  Highland Park 18 (from Orkney, half way to Norway) is also great - although also quite peaty.  Hmm... turns out, I do like peaty whiskies after all.  Glenlivet is a really good, inexpensive, pretty neutral single malt that is a good place to start if you're not sure... I think somebody mentioned Aberlour earlier, which is also a very serviceable, inexpensive, middle-of-the-road malt.  Try some of the port/sherry/madeira cask finishes that Glenmorangie, for instance, do.  And don't ever, ever try Loch Dhu.  It's a black whisky (it looks like Guinness) and tastes of bananas.  They stopped making it, and I can't blame them.

Just tried some last night.  F'ing fantastic.  Thanks for the recommendation, mate. 

[Tonker]

Whisky (no 'e').  Man, where to start?  First of all, if you're drinking neat whisky, it has to be single malt.  If you're not drinking it neat, then Happy Shopper Cooking Whisky is fine.  I'm not generally a big fan of the peaty whiskies (Laphroaig, Lagavulin, Ardbeg and so on) BUT the Ardbeg Supernova, which is apparently the World's peatiest whisky, is exceptional.  I prefer whisky that's come from the seaside and tastes like it - Clynelish is seaweedy and salty and my absolute, absolute favourite.  Highland Park 18 (from Orkney, half way to Norway) is also great - although also quite peaty.  Hmm... turns out, I do like peaty whiskies after all.  Glenlivet is a really good, inexpensive, pretty neutral single malt that is a good place to start if you're not sure... I think somebody mentioned Aberlour earlier, which is also a very serviceable, inexpensive, middle-of-the-road malt.  Try some of the port/sherry/madeira cask finishes that Glenmorangie, for instance, do.  And don't ever, ever try Loch Dhu.  It's a black whisky (it looks like Guinness) and tastes of bananas.  They stopped making it, and I can't blame them.

Just tried some last night.  F'ing fantastic.  Thanks for the recommendation, mate. 

Uncle Tonk will always see you right.  Good work fella - glad you enjoyed it.

[SKO]

Had some Jim Beam Black last night because it was on sale. Good stuff for a pretty decent price. Not as smooth as your average bourbon. Tasted like a Jim Beam/Jack Daniels fusion, actually. Good for shots.