2010-11 Cubs Offseason: I, For One, Welcome Our New .196-Hitting Overlord

[Internet Apex]

I don't see a problem with signing Nick Johnson as long as Hendry can sign somebody else to play the other 120 games a year at first base...

[Bort]

Remember when there was a possibility the Cubs might make a good signing in the offseason? Yeah, me neither.

[Richard Chuggar]

I thought this was about Nick Swisher. 

[Waco Kid]

Yeah, Slak...Nick Johnson of 12 games per year fame and glass legs and knees and that's what Hendry is focusing on the likes of?  Fuck that noise.  Like Penis said, try Hawpe or even LaRoach.  Why would you pay Nick Johnson anything but peanuts to play for you at this point?

Because Hendry is a dope, the Ricketts are dopes, and Crane Kenney is a dope. It is as Slaky says, once the stiffs Hendry has signed power their way to 100 losses Jumbo will finally be fired.

[Yeti]

Yeah, Slak...Nick Johnson of 12 games per year fame and glass legs and knees and that's what Hendry is focusing on the likes of?  Fuck that noise.  Like Penis said, try Hawpe or even LaRoach.  Why would you pay Nick Johnson anything but peanuts to play for you at this point?

Because Hendry is a dope, the Ricketts are dopes, and Crane Kenney is a dope. It is as Slaky says, once the stiffs Hendry has signed power their way to 100 losses Jumbo will finally be fired.

No wonder Oleg and Wheezer like the Cubs

[Chuck to Chuck]

Yeah, Slak...Nick Johnson of 12 games per year fame and glass legs and knees and that's what Hendry is focusing on the likes of?  Fuck that noise.  Like Penis said, try Hawpe or even LaRoach.  Why would you pay Nick Johnson anything but peanuts to play for you at this point?

Because Hendry is a dope, the Ricketts are dopes, and Crane Kenney is a dope. It is as Slaky says, once the stiffs Hendry has signed power their way to 100 losses Jumbo will finally be fired.

I'm not so sure about that.  Are the Ricketts really that stupid to risk another year of declining TV ratings and attendance instead of eating $5 million in GM salary today?

There's a real possibility that the kid Ricketts' (who are lucky sperm club charter members) think that Hendry really knows what he's doing.  Hendry may be here for a long time.

[Powdered Toast Man]

I retract my statements if you meant to type "butt swill."

Eat crow, bro.

[R-V]

Maybe Anhell can fill in when Nick Johnson's out.

The Cubs also announced that right-handed reliever Angel Guzman has been outrighted off the 40-man roster, becoming a free agent. Guzman and the Cubs have agreed on a minor-league contract for 2011 with an invite to spring training as a nonroster man. The once-promising Guzman has suffered through a host of injuries during his career. Shoulder surgery derailed his 2010 season before it even started.

[Kermit IV]

First basemen
Garrett Atkins (31)
Lance Berkman (35) - Type B
Russell Branyan (35)
Jorge Cantu (29)
Adam Dunn (31) - Type A
Troy Glaus (34)
Eric Hinske (33)
Aubrey Huff (34) - Type B
Nick Johnson (32)
Paul Konerko (35) - Type A
Mark Kotsay (35)
Adam LaRoche (31) - Type B
Derrek Lee (35) - Type A
Melvin Mora (39)
Xavier Nady (32)
Lyle Overbay (34)
Carlos Pena (33) - Type B
Robb Quinlan (34)
Fernando Tatis (36)
Mike Sweeney (37)
Ty Wigginton (33)

Who on this list gives anyone here a raging chub?

There are a lot of old-ass dudes on that list.

[PenPho]

First basemen
Garrett Atkins (31)
Lance Berkman (35) - Type B
Russell Branyan (35)
Jorge Cantu (29)
Adam Dunn (31) - Type A
Troy Glaus (34)
Eric Hinske (33)
Aubrey Huff (34) - Type B
Nick Johnson (32)
Paul Konerko (35) - Type A
Mark Kotsay (35)
Adam LaRoche (31) - Type B
Derrek Lee (35) - Type A
Melvin Mora (39)
Xavier Nady (32)
Lyle Overbay (34)
Carlos Pena (33) - Type B
Robb Quinlan (34)
Fernando Tatis (36)
Mike Sweeney (37)
Ty Wigginton (33)

Who on this list gives anyone here a raging chub?

There are a lot of old-ass dudes on that list.

Yeah, but based on games played, Nick Johnson could pass for 23-24.

[R-V]

So when does all the free agent and trade stuff start? I want some new players that I can temporarily positive about for a few hours before remembering that this franchise is a rotten sinkhole of despair.

[Armchair_QB]

So when does all the free agent and trade stuff start? I want some new players that I can temporarily positive about for a few hours before remembering that this franchise is a rotten sinkhole of despair.

They will sign Kerry Wood next week. Does that help?

[Chuck to Chuck]

So when does all the free agent and trade stuff start? I want some new players that I can temporarily positive about for a few hours before remembering that this franchise is a rotten sinkhole of despair.

2013.

Well, for the Cubs anyway.

[Slaky]

WRONG RIGHTED.

[Saul Goodman]

O NOES!!!11