2010-11 Cubs Offseason: I, For One, Welcome Our New .196-Hitting Overlord

[PenPho]

If this is serious, I fucking quit.

No you won't.

[Internet Apex]

If this is serious, I fucking quit.

No you won't.

I don't want them to sign Adam Dunn or Derrek Lee. So who does that leave us? The likes of Nick teh Stick. Give him a one-year deal, after which Aramis and Fukudome come off the books, Vitters might be ready. I don't really have a problem with this. Or I don't care or something.

[Eli]

If this is serious, I fucking quit.

LDA will be thrilled.

[Powdered Toast Man]

If this is serious, I fucking quit.

No you won't.

I don't want them to sign Adam Dunn or Derrek Lee. So who does that leave us? The likes of Nick teh Stick. Give him a one-year deal, after which Aramis and Fukudome come off the books, Vitters might be ready. I don't really have a problem with this. Or I don't care or something.

There's always next next year.

[Gilgamesh]

If this is serious, I fucking quit.

No you won't.

I don't want them to sign Adam Dunn or Derrek Lee. So who does that leave us? The likes of Nick teh Stick. Give him a one-year deal, after which Aramis and Fukudome come off the books, Vitters might be ready. I don't really have a problem with this. Or I don't care or something.

There's always next next year.

or never.

[Internet Apex]

First basemen
Garrett Atkins (31)
Lance Berkman (35) - Type B
Russell Branyan (35)
Jorge Cantu (29)
Adam Dunn (31) - Type A
Troy Glaus (34)
Eric Hinske (33)
Aubrey Huff (34) - Type B
Nick Johnson (32)
Paul Konerko (35) - Type A
Mark Kotsay (35)
Adam LaRoche (31) - Type B
Derrek Lee (35) - Type A
Melvin Mora (39)
Xavier Nady (32)
Lyle Overbay (34)
Carlos Pena (33) - Type B
Robb Quinlan (34)
Fernando Tatis (36)
Mike Sweeney (37)
Ty Wigginton (33)

Who on this list gives anyone here a raging chub?

[PenPho]

First basemen
Garrett Atkins (31)
Lance Berkman (35) - Type B
Russell Branyan (35)
Jorge Cantu (29)
Adam Dunn (31) - Type A
Troy Glaus (34)
Eric Hinske (33)
Aubrey Huff (34) - Type B
Nick Johnson (32)
Paul Konerko (35) - Type A
Mark Kotsay (35)
Adam LaRoche (31) - Type B
Derrek Lee (35) - Type A
Melvin Mora (39)
Xavier Nady (32)
Lyle Overbay (34)
Carlos Pena (33) - Type B
Robb Quinlan (34)
Fernando Tatis (36)
Mike Sweeney (37)
Ty Wigginton (33)

Who on this list gives anyone here a raging chub?

There's a pretty big difference between raging chub and "not Nick Johnson."

There's a couple guys on that list that aren't awful options (Dunn, Pena, Konerko), and a bunch of crappy guys, and then there's Nick Johnson and his 74 games/year.

[PenPho]

First basemen
Garrett Atkins (31)
Lance Berkman (35) - Type B
Russell Branyan (35)
Jorge Cantu (29)
Adam Dunn (31) - Type A
Troy Glaus (34)
Eric Hinske (33)
Aubrey Huff (34) - Type B
Nick Johnson (32)
Paul Konerko (35) - Type A
Mark Kotsay (35)
Adam LaRoche (31) - Type B
Derrek Lee (35) - Type A
Melvin Mora (39)
Xavier Nady (32)
Lyle Overbay (34)
Carlos Pena (33) - Type B
Robb Quinlan (34)
Fernando Tatis (36)
Mike Sweeney (37)
Ty Wigginton (33)

Who on this list gives anyone here a raging chub?

There's a pretty big difference between raging chub and "not Nick Johnson."

There's a couple guys on that list that aren't awful options (Dunn, Pena, Konerko), and a bunch of crappy guys, and then there's Nick Johnson and his 74 games/year.

DPD.

Also, he's not listed at 1B, but Brad Hawpe (que IAN's LSU Boner) seems like he's going to potentially make the switch to 1B and could be an option. 

Not a great option, but an option nonetheless.

Also, I think Adam LaRoche is a decent choice as well, in that he's a fairly "safe" way to go and wouldn't be very expensive.

[Internet Apex]

First basemen
Garrett Atkins (31)
Lance Berkman (35) - Type B
Russell Branyan (35)
Jorge Cantu (29)
Adam Dunn (31) - Type A
Troy Glaus (34)
Eric Hinske (33)
Aubrey Huff (34) - Type B
Nick Johnson (32)
Paul Konerko (35) - Type A
Mark Kotsay (35)
Adam LaRoche (31) - Type B
Derrek Lee (35) - Type A
Melvin Mora (39)
Xavier Nady (32)
Lyle Overbay (34)
Carlos Pena (33) - Type B
Robb Quinlan (34)
Fernando Tatis (36)
Mike Sweeney (37)
Ty Wigginton (33)

Who on this list gives anyone here a raging chub?

There's a pretty big difference between raging chub and "not Nick Johnson."

There's a couple guys on that list that aren't awful options (Dunn, Pena, Konerko), and a bunch of crappy guys, and then there's Nick Johnson and his 74 games/year.

DPD.

Also, he's not listed at 1B, but Brad Hawpe (que IAN's LSU Boner) seems like he's going to potentially make the switch to 1B and could be an option. 

Not a great option, but an option nonetheless.

Also, I think Adam LaRoche is a decent choice as well, in that he's a fairly "safe" way to go and wouldn't be very expensive.

I'd be fine with Hawpe or LaRoche. I doubt Konerko would be worth his asking price - not to the Cubs anyway. Is Berkman that terrible now? Would he request a shit ton? Seems like a decent stopgap.

[PenPho]

First basemen
Garrett Atkins (31)
Lance Berkman (35) - Type B
Russell Branyan (35)
Jorge Cantu (29)
Adam Dunn (31) - Type A
Troy Glaus (34)
Eric Hinske (33)
Aubrey Huff (34) - Type B
Nick Johnson (32)
Paul Konerko (35) - Type A
Mark Kotsay (35)
Adam LaRoche (31) - Type B
Derrek Lee (35) - Type A
Melvin Mora (39)
Xavier Nady (32)
Lyle Overbay (34)
Carlos Pena (33) - Type B
Robb Quinlan (34)
Fernando Tatis (36)
Mike Sweeney (37)
Ty Wigginton (33)

Who on this list gives anyone here a raging chub?

There's a pretty big difference between raging chub and "not Nick Johnson."

There's a couple guys on that list that aren't awful options (Dunn, Pena, Konerko), and a bunch of crappy guys, and then there's Nick Johnson and his 74 games/year.

DPD.

Also, he's not listed at 1B, but Brad Hawpe (que IAN's LSU Boner) seems like he's going to potentially make the switch to 1B and could be an option. 

Not a great option, but an option nonetheless.

Also, I think Adam LaRoche is a decent choice as well, in that he's a fairly "safe" way to go and wouldn't be very expensive.

I'd be fine with Hawpe or LaRoche. I doubt Konerko would be worth his asking price - not to the Cubs anyway. Is Berkman that terrible now? Would he request a shit ton? Seems like a decent stopgap.

Your lack of hate for long-time divisional foes is appalling.

[Slaky]

If this is serious, I fucking quit.

It's blocked here - what is it?

[Internet Apex]

First basemen
Garrett Atkins (31)
Lance Berkman (35) - Type B
Russell Branyan (35)
Jorge Cantu (29)
Adam Dunn (31) - Type A
Troy Glaus (34)
Eric Hinske (33)
Aubrey Huff (34) - Type B
Nick Johnson (32)
Paul Konerko (35) - Type A
Mark Kotsay (35)
Adam LaRoche (31) - Type B
Derrek Lee (35) - Type A
Melvin Mora (39)
Xavier Nady (32)
Lyle Overbay (34)
Carlos Pena (33) - Type B
Robb Quinlan (34)
Fernando Tatis (36)
Mike Sweeney (37)
Ty Wigginton (33)

Who on this list gives anyone here a raging chub?

There's a pretty big difference between raging chub and "not Nick Johnson."

There's a couple guys on that list that aren't awful options (Dunn, Pena, Konerko), and a bunch of crappy guys, and then there's Nick Johnson and his 74 games/year.

DPD.

Also, he's not listed at 1B, but Brad Hawpe (que IAN's LSU Boner) seems like he's going to potentially make the switch to 1B and could be an option. 

Not a great option, but an option nonetheless.

Also, I think Adam LaRoche is a decent choice as well, in that he's a fairly "safe" way to go and wouldn't be very expensive.

I'd be fine with Hawpe or LaRoche. I doubt Konerko would be worth his asking price - not to the Cubs anyway. Is Berkman that terrible now? Would he request a shit ton? Seems like a decent stopgap.

Your lack of hate for long-time divisional foes is appalling.

Ok, so Nick Johnson it is.

[PenPho]

If this is serious, I fucking quit.

It's blocked here - what is it?

It's something as bad as this.
Unless you're Andy and you hate Kerry Wood.

[Internet Apex]

If this is serious, I fucking quit.

It's blocked here - what is it?

It's something as bad as this.
Unless you're Andy and you hate Kerry Wood.

HGH is a helluva drug.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

If this is serious, I fucking quit.

It's blocked here - what is it?

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, Cubs general manager Jim Hendry is focusing "on the likes" of free agent first baseman Nick Johnson this winter.