2010-11 Cubs Offseason: I, For One, Welcome Our New .196-Hitting Overlord

[Yeti]

First basemen
Garrett Atkins (31)
Lance Berkman (35) - Type B
Russell Branyan (35)
Jorge Cantu (29)
Adam Dunn (31) - Type A
Troy Glaus (34)
Eric Hinske (33)
Aubrey Huff (34) - Type B
Nick Johnson (32)
Paul Konerko (35) - Type A
Mark Kotsay (35)
Adam LaRoche (31) - Type B
Derrek Lee (35) - Type A
Melvin Mora (39)
Xavier Nady (32)
Lyle Overbay (34)
Carlos Pena (33) - Type B
Robb Quinlan (34)
Fernando Tatis (36)
Mike Sweeney (37)
Ty Wigginton (33)

Who on this list gives anyone here a raging chub?

There's a pretty big difference between raging chub and "not Nick Johnson."

There's a couple guys on that list that aren't awful options (Dunn, Pena, Konerko), and a bunch of crappy guys, and then there's Nick Johnson and his 74 games/year.

DPD.

Also, he's not listed at 1B, but Brad Hawpe (que IAN's LSU Boner) seems like he's going to potentially make the switch to 1B and could be an option. 

Not a great option, but an option nonetheless.

Also, I think Adam LaRoche is a decent choice as well, in that he's a fairly "safe" way to go and wouldn't be very expensive.

I'd be fine with Hawpe or LaRoche. I doubt Konerko would be worth his asking price - not to the Cubs anyway. Is Berkman that terrible now? Would he request a shit ton? Seems like a decent stopgap.

Your lack of hate for long-time divisional foes is appalling.

Ok, so Nick Johnson it is.

1B is settled. What's up next on our offseason docket?

[Slaky]

If this is serious, I fucking quit.

It's blocked here - what is it?

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, Cubs general manager Jim Hendry is focusing "on the likes" of free agent first baseman Nick Johnson this winter.

If, of all things, that is what leaves you long for the Cubs as an organization (speaking to IAN here) then I really don't know what to tell you.

[Bort]

If this is serious, I fucking quit.

It's blocked here - what is it?

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, Cubs general manager Jim Hendry is focusing "on the likes" of free agent first baseman Nick Johnson this winter.

If, of all things, that is what leaves you long for the Cubs as an organization (speaking to IAN here) then I really don't know what to tell you.

Leaves you the whole long?

[PenPho]

If this is serious, I fucking quit.

It's blocked here - what is it?

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, Cubs general manager Jim Hendry is focusing "on the likes" of free agent first baseman Nick Johnson this winter.

If, of all things, that is what leaves you long for the Cubs as an organization (speaking to IAN here) then I really don't know what to tell you.

Leaves you the whole long?

Me leave you long time.

[Yeti]

If this is serious, I fucking quit.

It's blocked here - what is it?

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, Cubs general manager Jim Hendry is focusing "on the likes" of free agent first baseman Nick Johnson this winter.

If, of all things, that is what leaves you long for the Cubs as an organization (speaking to IAN here) then I really don't know what to tell you.

Leaves you the whole long?

Me leave you long time.

FAGGOT

[Slaky]

If this is serious, I fucking quit.

It's blocked here - what is it?

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, Cubs general manager Jim Hendry is focusing "on the likes" of free agent first baseman Nick Johnson this winter.

If, of all things, that is what leaves you long for the Cubs as an organization (speaking to IAN here) then I really don't know what to tell you.

Leaves you the whole long?

I thought that sentence made sense.

[Bort]

If this is serious, I fucking quit.

It's blocked here - what is it?

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, Cubs general manager Jim Hendry is focusing "on the likes" of free agent first baseman Nick Johnson this winter.

If, of all things, that is what leaves you long for the Cubs as an organization (speaking to IAN here) then I really don't know what to tell you.

Leaves you the whole long?

I thought that sentence made sense.

It does, but not in English.

[Powdered Toast Man]

Yeah, Slak...Nick Johnson of 12 games per year fame and glass legs and knees and that's what Hendry is focusing on the likes of?  Fuck that noise.  Like Penis said, try Hawpe or even LaRoach.  Why would you pay Nick Johnson anything but peanuts to play for you at this point?

[Slaky]

If this is serious, I fucking quit.

It's blocked here - what is it?

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, Cubs general manager Jim Hendry is focusing "on the likes" of free agent first baseman Nick Johnson this winter.

If, of all things, that is what leaves you long for the Cubs as an organization (speaking to IAN here) then I really don't know what to tell you.

Leaves you the whole long?

I thought that sentence made sense.

It does, but not in English.

I feel like I'm talking to myself today anyway - I'll type in whatever damn language I want.

Yeah, Slak...Nick Johnson of 12 games per year fame and glass legs and knees and that's what Hendry is focusing on the likes of?  Fuck that noise.  Like Penis said, try Hawpe or even LaRoach.  Why would you pay Nick Johnson anything but peanuts to play for you at this point?

Because if the Cubs are going to be infuriating they shouldn't try to hide it anymore. Besides if Jimbo signs a bunch stiffs that all get hurt and hit .175 the Cubs will have a new GM.

[Powdered Toast Man]

You're a thinker, Slak.

ETA:  I just see the Nick Johnson idea as him not even trying to field a decent team.  I know no one's signed yet or anything and this is probalby all hearsay, but still.

[Quality Start Machine]

Yeah, Slak...Nick Johnson of 12 games per year fame and glass legs and knees and that's what Hendry is focusing on the likes of?  Fuck that noise.  Like Penis said, try Hawpe or even LaRoach.  Why would you pay Nick Johnson anything but peanuts to play for you at this point?

You can pay him the styrofoam peanuts he comes packed in.

[Slaky]

You're a thinker, Slak.

ETA:  I just see the Nick Johnson idea as him not even trying to field a decent team.  I know no one's signed yet or anything and this is probalby all hearsay, but still.

Isn't this the most pointless offseason you can remember? They don't have any money and they are going to have virtually the same team. The best free agents are out of the question. So what's the point? We're going to be hoping that the players we already have somehow all have career years. Does anyone think Marlon Byrd will repeat what he did last year? Does it matter if he does?

Christ, John Grabow is still on this team. John Grabow!

Wow, I don't think I'm going to watch baseball next year.

[Eli]

but still.

But still what?  After all the bullshit the Cubs have foisted upon you in your lifetime, you're threatening to quit the Cubs because of an early-November Rotoworld blurb based on a Sun-Times article that doesn't even have a byline and offers unspecified "indications" that Hendry doesn't have the budget to sign a major free agent so he may instead go after "the likes of" cheaper first basemen such as Nick Johnson IF the medical reports play out OK.  But still what?

[Eli]

I retract my statements if you meant to type "butt swill."

[Armchair_QB]

I don't see a problem with signing Nick Johnson as long as Hendry can sign somebody else to play the other 120 games a year at first base...