The Walking Dead

[Gilgamesh]

I like Glenn because he's useful and I like Maggie but really, only because she's hot.

Apparently among the normal rules of ordinary life in civil society that went out the window in the zombie apocalypse was "don't stick your dick in crazy."

Plus think of how much more interesting it would be if they were traveling rather than spending time playing hide and go seek with a dead girl.

Would it, though?

I mean, I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with staging so much of the season around the search for Sophia in and of itself. At this point she's almost incidental to what's actually been going on. A sort of MacGuffin,

Would the show automatically be more interesting if they were running into zombies On The Road To Ft. Benning rather than on excursions away from Maggie's Farm?

Would the school full of FEMA zombies or Daryl hallucinating about Merle be more awesome, or would Lori be less irritating, if only everyone had just piled into Dale's Winnebago first and hit the road?

The problem, as RV says, is the writing itself. The dialogue is stolid, the characterizations often dull.

So far it looks like the total overhaul of the writing staff over the summer hasn't really paid off.

EXCLUSIVE: Glen Mazzara has closed a deal to join AMC's breakout hit The Walking Dead as a writing executive producer and No.2 to creator/ executive producer/ director Frank Darabont for the show's upcoming second season. He is in the process of putting together a staff of about 5 writers.

The move comes 3 months after the writing staff for The Walking Dead's first season was disbanded, including then-No. 2 to Darabont, writing executive producer Charles "Chic" Eglee (most of the writers were let go, Eglee joined another project, FX's Powers). At the time, Durabont was exploring the idea of forgoing a writing staff altogether in favor of using freelancers. In the end, the show is reverting to the traditional writing staff model with a staff comparable or a little bigger in size to Season 1 whose order was for 6 episodes vs. 13 for Season 2. One of the 6 episodes of Walking Dead's first season was written on freelance basis by Mazzara. The Shield alum Mazzara recently served as showrunner on the first season of Starz's Crash and the second season of Hawthorne.

I feel like Darabont and Kirkman should just take over and write every fucking episode themselves at this point. That, or poach some writers from Justified.

On the plus side, here are a few things that I was afraid the writers were going to totally fucking drag out:

1) Lori's secret pregnancy

2) Lori's Shane issue

3) Shane's Otis/evil bohunk issue

And all three were more or less tackled head on by the end of last night's episode. So, hopefully we can forget about Lori's Rick drama now, and maybe Shane's life as not-a-good-dude can actually start to go places as the Bohunk Darkness overtakes him.

But someone really needs to die soon.

Dale's a real fucking mindreader, huh?

The sooner that annoying fucker and the wife get bitten, the better.  All they do is whine.

He shouldn't be more than a background character but, whining aside, I kind of like Dale.

Kill Lori. Kill Sophia's mom. Hell, kill Sophia.

I too am grateful that they wrapped up these potential storylines before they got out of hand.

However, save me the abortion/euthanisa overtones and give me more Bohunk/Andrea humping, Dale's death (I hope), and Maggie/Glenn shag scenes.

Zombies added in would help.

[Wheezer]

"Seasoned harlots know that Plan B is two tiny white round pills, like Barbie sized communion wafers."

[Kermit IV]

Someone has to get Kerm's back, here. This is a lot of wasted potential right here. Instead of killing off all of these unlikeable characters we're spending each week finding out just how right we were that they're irredeemable pieces of shit.

I like Glenn because he's useful and I like Maggie but really, only because she's hot. The scene where she suddenly got all worked up about Glenn being a leader and not realizing it yet was an After School Special kind of hokey out-of-nowhere melodrama. "Listen Glenn, we've known each other for three days and you may have fucked me because I let you because I thought we were going to die and also I loved zombies until that one tried to eat my arm but you killed it and I LOVE YOU. DONT YOU GO DYIN ON ME!"

Damn, and I liked Maggie.

Also, Horse Doctor and his Psycho Farm is getting real fucking old. These people should be on the run trying to find out if there is any hope outside of Buttfuck, GA but instead they're sitting around trying to find Susan Powter's fucking daughter. Shane said it himself: in the regular, civilized world they give up on this kid after 72 hours. They think she survived out there? And they're all getting crippled while they try to find her. They'd save a lot of time if they'd just have Bohunk put a live chamber in Ms. Powter's skull, leave her behind for zedhead bait and hit the fucking road. Think of all the gas they could  get from the cars along the road.

Plus think of how much more interesting it would be if they were traveling rather than spending time playing hide and go seek with a dead girl.

I'll keep watching, though.

This show fucking sucks.  It's sad that a show about zombies can be so aggressively BORING.  I have no idea why I'm still watching, but it's sort of fun watching such bad writing made so much worse by terrible acting.  The scene where Rick and Lori were deciding whether or not to have the kid was pure agony.  Also, THIS.



If AMC is so desperate for a zombie show, just have Gus reappear on Breaking Bad next year.  I'LL WATCH THAT.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

So, apparently Otis captured himself a fresh 12-year-old female zombie just before Rick and Carl showed up on the doorstep of Greene Farm.

And, given the way he runs his farm with a folksy iron fist, Hershel certainly must have known all along.

What a dick.

[Richard Chuggar]

So, apparently Otis captured himself a fresh 12-year-old female zombie just before Rick and Carl showed up on the doorstep of Greene Farm.

And, given the way he runs his farm with a folksy iron fist, Hershel certainly must have known all along.

What a dick.

They should have shot Dale too.  What a bitch.

[R-V]

Someone has to get Kerm's back, here. This is a lot of wasted potential right here. Instead of killing off all of these unlikeable characters we're spending each week finding out just how right we were that they're irredeemable pieces of shit.

I like Glenn because he's useful and I like Maggie but really, only because she's hot. The scene where she suddenly got all worked up about Glenn being a leader and not realizing it yet was an After School Special kind of hokey out-of-nowhere melodrama. "Listen Glenn, we've known each other for three days and you may have fucked me because I let you because I thought we were going to die and also I loved zombies until that one tried to eat my arm but you killed it and I LOVE YOU. DONT YOU GO DYIN ON ME!"

Damn, and I liked Maggie.

Also, Horse Doctor and his Psycho Farm is getting real fucking old. These people should be on the run trying to find out if there is any hope outside of Buttfuck, GA but instead they're sitting around trying to find Susan Powter's fucking daughter. Shane said it himself: in the regular, civilized world they give up on this kid after 72 hours. They think she survived out there? And they're all getting crippled while they try to find her. They'd save a lot of time if they'd just have Bohunk put a live chamber in Ms. Powter's skull, leave her behind for zedhead bait and hit the fucking road. Think of all the gas they could  get from the cars along the road.

Plus think of how much more interesting it would be if they were traveling rather than spending time playing hide and go seek with a dead girl.

I'll keep watching, though.

I agree with everything in this post. The writing on this show is awful. If you've got writers of Mad Men or Breaking Bad quality you can have entire episodes of people sitting around with their thumbs up their asses and it'll still be entertaining, but that's not the case on this show.

At this point the only way they could redeem the wheel-spinning Sophia search is if she walks into camp as a zombie and her mom blows her head off. That's the kind of depraved action I'm jonesing for.

Well it was Rick instead of Weepy Mom, but I'll take it, especially considering the level of Bohunk Madness we saw. Nice to see something finally happen after several weeks of boring.

[flannj]

Someone has to get Kerm's back, here. This is a lot of wasted potential right here. Instead of killing off all of these unlikeable characters we're spending each week finding out just how right we were that they're irredeemable pieces of shit.

I like Glenn because he's useful and I like Maggie but really, only because she's hot. The scene where she suddenly got all worked up about Glenn being a leader and not realizing it yet was an After School Special kind of hokey out-of-nowhere melodrama. "Listen Glenn, we've known each other for three days and you may have fucked me because I let you because I thought we were going to die and also I loved zombies until that one tried to eat my arm but you killed it and I LOVE YOU. DONT YOU GO DYIN ON ME!"

Damn, and I liked Maggie.

Also, Horse Doctor and his Psycho Farm is getting real fucking old. These people should be on the run trying to find out if there is any hope outside of Buttfuck, GA but instead they're sitting around trying to find Susan Powter's fucking daughter. Shane said it himself: in the regular, civilized world they give up on this kid after 72 hours. They think she survived out there? And they're all getting crippled while they try to find her. They'd save a lot of time if they'd just have Bohunk put a live chamber in Ms. Powter's skull, leave her behind for zedhead bait and hit the fucking road. Think of all the gas they could  get from the cars along the road.

Plus think of how much more interesting it would be if they were traveling rather than spending time playing hide and go seek with a dead girl.

I'll keep watching, though.

I agree with everything in this post. The writing on this show is awful. If you've got writers of Mad Men or Breaking Bad quality you can have entire episodes of people sitting around with their thumbs up their asses and it'll still be entertaining, but that's not the case on this show.

At this point the only way they could redeem the wheel-spinning Sophia search is if she walks into camp as a zombie and her mom blows her head off. That's the kind of depraved action I'm jonesing for.

Well it was Rick instead of Weepy Mom, but I'll take it, especially considering the level of Bohunk Madness we saw. Nice to see something finally happen after several weeks of boring.

Take aim at a slow moving zombie from 20 feet away with a 12 ga. and you hit him in the shoulder?
Man those people are some bad shots.

[Kermit IV]

Someone has to get Kerm's back, here. This is a lot of wasted potential right here. Instead of killing off all of these unlikeable characters we're spending each week finding out just how right we were that they're irredeemable pieces of shit.

I like Glenn because he's useful and I like Maggie but really, only because she's hot. The scene where she suddenly got all worked up about Glenn being a leader and not realizing it yet was an After School Special kind of hokey out-of-nowhere melodrama. "Listen Glenn, we've known each other for three days and you may have fucked me because I let you because I thought we were going to die and also I loved zombies until that one tried to eat my arm but you killed it and I LOVE YOU. DONT YOU GO DYIN ON ME!"

Damn, and I liked Maggie.

Also, Horse Doctor and his Psycho Farm is getting real fucking old. These people should be on the run trying to find out if there is any hope outside of Buttfuck, GA but instead they're sitting around trying to find Susan Powter's fucking daughter. Shane said it himself: in the regular, civilized world they give up on this kid after 72 hours. They think she survived out there? And they're all getting crippled while they try to find her. They'd save a lot of time if they'd just have Bohunk put a live chamber in Ms. Powter's skull, leave her behind for zedhead bait and hit the fucking road. Think of all the gas they could  get from the cars along the road.

Plus think of how much more interesting it would be if they were traveling rather than spending time playing hide and go seek with a dead girl.

I'll keep watching, though.

I agree with everything in this post. The writing on this show is awful. If you've got writers of Mad Men or Breaking Bad quality you can have entire episodes of people sitting around with their thumbs up their asses and it'll still be entertaining, but that's not the case on this show.

At this point the only way they could redeem the wheel-spinning Sophia search is if she walks into camp as a zombie and her mom blows her head off. That's the kind of depraved action I'm jonesing for.

Well it was Rick instead of Weepy Mom, but I'll take it, especially considering the level of Bohunk Madness we saw. Nice to see something finally happen after several weeks of boring.

I was mildly impressed that the writers had the balls to write the "realistic" ending for Sophia.  Now can they PLEASE leave the goddamn farm?

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Someone has to get Kerm's back, here. This is a lot of wasted potential right here. Instead of killing off all of these unlikeable characters we're spending each week finding out just how right we were that they're irredeemable pieces of shit.

I like Glenn because he's useful and I like Maggie but really, only because she's hot. The scene where she suddenly got all worked up about Glenn being a leader and not realizing it yet was an After School Special kind of hokey out-of-nowhere melodrama. "Listen Glenn, we've known each other for three days and you may have fucked me because I let you because I thought we were going to die and also I loved zombies until that one tried to eat my arm but you killed it and I LOVE YOU. DONT YOU GO DYIN ON ME!"

Damn, and I liked Maggie.

Also, Horse Doctor and his Psycho Farm is getting real fucking old. These people should be on the run trying to find out if there is any hope outside of Buttfuck, GA but instead they're sitting around trying to find Susan Powter's fucking daughter. Shane said it himself: in the regular, civilized world they give up on this kid after 72 hours. They think she survived out there? And they're all getting crippled while they try to find her. They'd save a lot of time if they'd just have Bohunk put a live chamber in Ms. Powter's skull, leave her behind for zedhead bait and hit the fucking road. Think of all the gas they could  get from the cars along the road.

Plus think of how much more interesting it would be if they were traveling rather than spending time playing hide and go seek with a dead girl.

I'll keep watching, though.

I agree with everything in this post. The writing on this show is awful. If you've got writers of Mad Men or Breaking Bad quality you can have entire episodes of people sitting around with their thumbs up their asses and it'll still be entertaining, but that's not the case on this show.

At this point the only way they could redeem the wheel-spinning Sophia search is if she walks into camp as a zombie and her mom blows her head off. That's the kind of depraved action I'm jonesing for.

Well it was Rick instead of Weepy Mom, but I'll take it, especially considering the level of Bohunk Madness we saw. Nice to see something finally happen after several weeks of boring.

I was mildly impressed that the writers had the balls to write the "realistic" ending for Sophia.  Now can they PLEASE leave the goddamn farm?

I doubt they'll be sticking around too much longer in the wake of last night's Massacre of the Innocents.

[R-V]

Someone has to get Kerm's back, here. This is a lot of wasted potential right here. Instead of killing off all of these unlikeable characters we're spending each week finding out just how right we were that they're irredeemable pieces of shit.

I like Glenn because he's useful and I like Maggie but really, only because she's hot. The scene where she suddenly got all worked up about Glenn being a leader and not realizing it yet was an After School Special kind of hokey out-of-nowhere melodrama. "Listen Glenn, we've known each other for three days and you may have fucked me because I let you because I thought we were going to die and also I loved zombies until that one tried to eat my arm but you killed it and I LOVE YOU. DONT YOU GO DYIN ON ME!"

Damn, and I liked Maggie.

Also, Horse Doctor and his Psycho Farm is getting real fucking old. These people should be on the run trying to find out if there is any hope outside of Buttfuck, GA but instead they're sitting around trying to find Susan Powter's fucking daughter. Shane said it himself: in the regular, civilized world they give up on this kid after 72 hours. They think she survived out there? And they're all getting crippled while they try to find her. They'd save a lot of time if they'd just have Bohunk put a live chamber in Ms. Powter's skull, leave her behind for zedhead bait and hit the fucking road. Think of all the gas they could  get from the cars along the road.

Plus think of how much more interesting it would be if they were traveling rather than spending time playing hide and go seek with a dead girl.

I'll keep watching, though.

I agree with everything in this post. The writing on this show is awful. If you've got writers of Mad Men or Breaking Bad quality you can have entire episodes of people sitting around with their thumbs up their asses and it'll still be entertaining, but that's not the case on this show.

At this point the only way they could redeem the wheel-spinning Sophia search is if she walks into camp as a zombie and her mom blows her head off. That's the kind of depraved action I'm jonesing for.

Well it was Rick instead of Weepy Mom, but I'll take it, especially considering the level of Bohunk Madness we saw. Nice to see something finally happen after several weeks of boring.

I was mildly impressed that the writers had the balls to write the "realistic" ending for Sophia.  Now can they PLEASE leave the goddamn farm?

I doubt they'll be sticking around too much longer in the wake of last night's Massacre of the Innocents.

We should start cataloguing the instances of bad writing on this show. Here's a start:

- Dale is presumably supposed to be the Fatherly Figure Who Maintains His Humanity in Spite of All These Zombies that we in the audience should sympathize with, and yet he comes off as totally unlikeable. I found myself hoping that Bohunk would just shoot him in the beard during their Swamp Rendezvous.

- I still know absolutely nothing about T Dawg (hell, I don't even know if it's spelled T Dog or T Dogg).

- Bohunk is supposed to be the One Who Understands the Danger of Zombies, yet he was sticking his sweaty bohunk face right up in the barnhole. Huh?

And yet I'll spend many more minutes writing and thinking about this show than the superior Boardwalk Empire. WHY?!

[Slaky]

We were finally able to watch this last night. It didn't really redeem much for me and based on the Twitter reaction I think I was expecting something much more shocking than that. I figured they'd wrap up the Sophia stuff but it just seemed hammy the way she happened to be the last zombie to come out of the barn. Would have been cooler if she came out in the middle of the chaos and while everyone was in shock over what had become of her, the other zombies, who don't feel emotions or pause to reflect on heavy moments, manage to mangle some flesh. Preferably Hershel or Jamie Lite Curtis. When the fuck does a woman decide that a grey buzzcut is a good look? Screw you lady.

Anyway, the "preview" which told us almost nothing showed them mostly in the woods or still on the farm. There's no way Hershel didn't know about Sophia the whole time but here's the thing - they were leading those two zombies into the barn, were they not? Clearly, when they shoved them into the barn, had Shane not thrown a hissy fit, Rick would have noticed the zombified remains of Sophia. So there's another example of shit writing.

F minus.

The only way we're going to see improvement in this show is if they get picked up for a third season (have they already?) and can start from scratch with new, talented writers and a bigger budget. It's clear they've already shot most, if not all of the second half of this season so that's pretty much in the turrlet.

[Kermit IV]

A-pluses for both R-V's and Slak's posts, but I still think the shittiest example of "writing" was when the Bohunk-fucking blonde turned from a skittish, suicidal pussy to a BOOM! head-shottin', cold-blooded, zombie-killin' MACHINE in literally ten seconds.  I honestly think Falling Skies was written better than this pile, and Falling Skies was (is?) godawful.

[Kermit IV]

When you boil the entire SOPHIA HUNT down to less than two minutes, it's still boring and shitty.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I honestly think Falling Skies was written better than this pile, and Falling Skies was (is?) godawful.

It's funny you should say that.

I made it to episode two of that one. Godawful indeed.

Also: apparently it's "is".

[J. Walter Weatherman]

When you boil the entire SOPHIA HUNT down to less than two minutes, it's still boring and shitty.

I'm on record as saying that this season has offered a lot of boring TV thanks to some regrettably shitty writing, but that's retarded.

Anything will be boring if you edit together two minutes of its most boring parts.