Coming to America, Part the Third.

[Quality Start Machine]

I'm thinking that I'm going to do a Wrigley tour on Thursday 2nd or Friday 3rd August.  Anybody fancy coming with me?

So that's a "no", then, is it?  Fine, screw you guys.

I'd be for it were the Murtons in town, but they'll be locked up... uh... at camp in Michigan that week.

Wait... you're not doing something because you DON'T have the kids?

Chuck is Bizarrodad.

The Eldest Murton has wanted to go for a long time. The schedule of tours has never worked our with when we can go.  Were I to go without him, he'd kill me.  And, frankly, it's probably not a thing to do twice.

1) Do it the first time for yourself.
2) Do not tell him you went on one.
3) Do it the second time for your son's benefit.
4) Sell Tonker a commercial loan to open his haggis emporium in Lincoln Square.
5) ???
6) Profit.

Or is that not how it works?

I would very much be interested in a haggis emporium.

Haggis is the Anglo-Saxon version of kishka.

Or it would be, if it originated from the Angles or the Saxons.

Scots are technically neither, yes?

Well, the truth is, of course, that these days we're all so mixed up that most Scots have at least a whiff of the Anglo-Saxon about them.  Nonetheless, Scots can distinguish themselves from the English by the fact that we were never invaded by the Angles or the Saxons (or the Romans, for that matter) and as such, remained relatively pure Gaels or Picts (Celts) for a long, long time.

Isn't "pure" another word for "inbred?"

Scotland is the Alabama of Great Britain.

[Tonker]

Right, chaps: the time is nigh.  Tonkfest 2012^TM is but a couple of weeks away and at the risk of offending those of you who don't have kids and can still live day-to-day, I'd like to get something planned for Sunday 29th July.

I can offer you three things:

1. STL @ CHC, 2:20 ET first pitch.

2. My attendance.

3. One way or another, beer.

So, who's up for what that day?  Anybody?  Bar?  Rooftop?  I'd like to avoid actually making you lot go to Wrigley on my account, so let's not do that.  I'll probably try to go the ballpark by myself (or with a small, specially selected band of masochists) later in the week, anyway, and once will definitely be enough this time.

I know you'd probably rather not watch SPORTZ and drink BEER, but tell yourself you're doing it for me.  Because that's just the sort of bloke you are.

[Slaky]

Right, chaps: the time is nigh.  Tonkfest 2012^TM is but a couple of weeks away and at the risk of offending those of you who don't have kids and can still live day-to-day, I'd like to get something planned for Sunday 29th July.

I can offer you three things:

1. STL @ CHC, 2:20 ET first pitch.

2. My attendance.

3. One way or another, beer.

So, who's up for what that day?  Anybody?  Bar?  Rooftop?  I'd like to avoid actually making you lot go to Wrigley on my account, so let's not do that.  I'll probably try to go the ballpark by myself (or with a small, specially selected band of masochists) later in the week, anyway, and once will definitely be enough this time.

I know you'd probably rather not watch SPORTZ and drink BEER, but tell yourself you're doing it for me.  Because that's just the sort of bloke you are.

I am a free man through July so you give me a time and a place and I will be there.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I'm a tentative "in" for the 29th.

[Gilgamesh]

I'll probably be a no on the Cubs game, but I'd be down for golf and/or a bar of sorts.

[Quality Start Machine]

Right, chaps: the time is nigh.  Tonkfest 2012^TM is but a couple of weeks away and at the risk of offending those of you who don't have kids and can still live day-to-day, I'd like to get something planned for Sunday 29th July.

I can offer you three things:

1. STL @ CHC, 2:20 ET first pitch.

2. My attendance.

3. One way or another, beer.

So, who's up for what that day?  Anybody?  Bar?  Rooftop?  I'd like to avoid actually making you lot go to Wrigley on my account, so let's not do that.  I'll probably try to go the ballpark by myself (or with a small, specially selected band of masochists) later in the week, anyway, and once will definitely be enough this time.

I know you'd probably rather not watch SPORTZ and drink BEER, but tell yourself you're doing it for me.  Because that's just the sort of bloke you are.

I'd like to suggest a beer garden, if not a rooftop.

[Tonker]

Right, chaps: the time is nigh.  Tonkfest 2012^TM is but a couple of weeks away and at the risk of offending those of you who don't have kids and can still live day-to-day, I'd like to get something planned for Sunday 29th July.

I can offer you three things:

1. STL @ CHC, 2:20 ET first pitch.

2. My attendance.

3. One way or another, beer.

So, who's up for what that day?  Anybody?  Bar?  Rooftop?  I'd like to avoid actually making you lot go to Wrigley on my account, so let's not do that.  I'll probably try to go the ballpark by myself (or with a small, specially selected band of masochists) later in the week, anyway, and once will definitely be enough this time.

I know you'd probably rather not watch SPORTZ and drink BEER, but tell yourself you're doing it for me.  Because that's just the sort of bloke you are.

I'd like to suggest a beer garden, if not a rooftop.

Honestly, I really don't mind.  Whatever you guys want to do - just not Wrigley itself.

[Internet Apex]

I live right by the ballpark and I like beer and sportz and men.

[morpheus]

I believe I can do Sunday the 29th as well... what other festivities are planned for the weekend?

[Oleg]

Right, chaps: the time is nigh.  Tonkfest 2012^TM is but a couple of weeks away and at the risk of offending those of you who don't have kids and can still live day-to-day, I'd like to get something planned for Sunday 29th July.

I can offer you three things:

1. STL @ CHC, 2:20 ET first pitch.

2. My attendance.

3. One way or another, beer.

So, who's up for what that day?  Anybody?  Bar?  Rooftop?  I'd like to avoid actually making you lot go to Wrigley on my account, so let's not do that.  I'll probably try to go the ballpark by myself (or with a small, specially selected band of masochists) later in the week, anyway, and once will definitely be enough this time.

I know you'd probably rather not watch SPORTZ and drink BEER, but tell yourself you're doing it for me.  Because that's just the sort of bloke you are.

I am a free man through July so you give me a time and a place and I will be there.

Ditto.  Except replace 'July' with '2012'.  At least.

[Internet Apex]

Right, chaps: the time is nigh.  Tonkfest 2012^TM is but a couple of weeks away and at the risk of offending those of you who don't have kids and can still live day-to-day, I'd like to get something planned for Sunday 29th July.

I can offer you three things:

1. STL @ CHC, 2:20 ET first pitch.

2. My attendance.

3. One way or another, beer.

So, who's up for what that day?  Anybody?  Bar?  Rooftop?  I'd like to avoid actually making you lot go to Wrigley on my account, so let's not do that.  I'll probably try to go the ballpark by myself (or with a small, specially selected band of masochists) later in the week, anyway, and once will definitely be enough this time.

I know you'd probably rather not watch SPORTZ and drink BEER, but tell yourself you're doing it for me.  Because that's just the sort of bloke you are.

I am a free man through July so you give me a time and a place and I will be there.

Ditto.  Except replace 'July' with '2012'.  At least.

With all the exercising and clean living you've been doing? Only a matter of time before you find a good woman who's willing to usurp all of your free time and make you miserable whenever she's not naked or in front of a hot stove. I'm setting the over/under at 2.5 months until you're dead to us all except for snapshots of your dinner plate and bike riding itineraries on the bookfaces.

[Quality Start Machine]

I believe I can do Sunday the 29th as well... what other festivities are planned for the weekend?

Friday night boozeup?

[Tonker]

I believe I can do Sunday the 29th as well... what other festivities are planned for the weekend?

Friday night boozeup?

Yeah, I'll be arriving late afternoon and will be itching to moon some barstaff, so if anybody's around for a swift half after work on Friday evening, I'll be up for that.

[Oleg]

I believe I can do Sunday the 29th as well... what other festivities are planned for the weekend?

Friday night boozeup?

Yeah, I'll be arriving late afternoon and will be itching to moon some barstaff, so if anybody's around for a swift half after work on Friday evening, I'll be up for that.

Golfing with a hangover on Saturday morning?  Is there any other way to golf?

[Tonker]

I believe I can do Sunday the 29th as well... what other festivities are planned for the weekend?

Friday night boozeup?

Yeah, I'll be arriving late afternoon and will be itching to moon some barstaff, so if anybody's around for a swift half after work on Friday evening, I'll be up for that.

Golfing with a hangover on Saturday morning?  Is there any other way to golf?

Meh, golfing with a hangover's for pussies.  I'll be aiming for "still drunk".