Coming to America, Part the Third.

[Tonker]

Casa Nova is at your complete disposal.

Whoa, just snuck in there under the CTA bar, huh?

Cheers, old friend.  You're on the list and, subject to the forthcoming lottery, could well the lucky recipient of a visit from me!  What a time to be alive, eh?

The L is a half block from my house, man.

For someone beseeching the benevolence & hospitality of his Internet friends, Tonker sure is rather shot-cally.

So all of a sudden I'm supposed to be all nice, and friendly, and kind and shit, just because I want something?  You guys would smell that a fucking mile away.

If by some miracle I still have a place, you're completely welcome down in Hyde Park. I even insist upon being the one to sleep on the floor when I have a guest (never did find the leak in the Aerobed, but I manage).

Thanks, Wheez, that's very kind of you - although Hyde Park would be more attractive as a place to stay were it the Sox we were talking about.  Why are you expecting not to have a place, by the way?  Or is that just your customary optimism leaking out?

You're welcome in my upstairs guest room. I can drop you off at the train station on my way to work, and then it's a mere 8-to-14-hour train ride to Chicago depending on how Amtrak feels that day.

It would almost be worth it for that sweet, sweet BBBQ.

[Saul Goodman]

Casa Nova is at your complete disposal.

Whoa, just snuck in there under the CTA bar, huh?

Cheers, old friend.  You're on the list and, subject to the forthcoming lottery, could well the lucky recipient of a visit from me!  What a time to be alive, eh?

The L is a half block from my house, man.

For someone beseeching the benevolence & hospitality of his Internet friends, Tonker sure is rather shot-cally.

So all of a sudden I'm supposed to be all nice, and friendly, and kind and shit, just because I want something?  You guys would smell that a fucking mile away.

If by some miracle I still have a place, you're completely welcome down in Hyde Park. I even insist upon being the one to sleep on the floor when I have a guest (never did find the leak in the Aerobed, but I manage).

Thanks, Wheez, that's very kind of you - although Hyde Park would be more attractive as a place to stay were it the Sox we were talking about.  Why are you expecting not to have a place, by the way?  Or is that just your customary optimism leaking out?

You're welcome in my upstairs guest room. I can drop you off at the train station on my way to work, and then it's a mere 8-to-14-hour train ride to Chicago depending on how Amtrak feels that day.

It would almost be worth it for that sweet, sweet BBBQ.

You could also stay with me. There's an Original Tommy's Hamburgers nearby and convenient flights to Chicago from Bob Hope International/Burbank daily. Only a few hours, easy peasy. I'll wait for you at the airport. Except LAX, if you fly into LAX you're on your own.

[Oleg]

Casa Nova is at your complete disposal.

Whoa, just snuck in there under the CTA bar, huh?

Cheers, old friend.  You're on the list and, subject to the forthcoming lottery, could well the lucky recipient of a visit from me!  What a time to be alive, eh?

The L is a half block from my house, man.

For someone beseeching the benevolence & hospitality of his Internet friends, Tonker sure is rather shot-cally.

So all of a sudden I'm supposed to be all nice, and friendly, and kind and shit, just because I want something?  You guys would smell that a fucking mile away.

We just figured after two world wars, you'd be happy with any American assistance.

Except for your comparison to be valid you'd need to be charging me huge amounts to let me stay.

You'll at least help me change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

I can also use some help changing smoke detector batteries...

I'm pretty sure it's needless to say but you (Tonker not Fork) are more than welcome on my couch or air mattress.  Strangley, I'm pretty sure Fork is much more convenient for the L but I do live around the corner from Rosa's.  And, when the Cubs make it to the WS, I'm pretty sure no one is going to be expecting me at work anyway.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Casa Nova is at your complete disposal.

Whoa, just snuck in there under the CTA bar, huh?

Cheers, old friend.  You're on the list and, subject to the forthcoming lottery, could well the lucky recipient of a visit from me!  What a time to be alive, eh?

The L is a half block from my house, man.

For someone beseeching the benevolence & hospitality of his Internet friends, Tonker sure is rather shot-cally.

So all of a sudden I'm supposed to be all nice, and friendly, and kind and shit, just because I want something?  You guys would smell that a fucking mile away.

We just figured after two world wars, you'd be happy with any American assistance.

Except for your comparison to be valid you'd need to be charging me huge amounts to let me stay.

You'll at least help me change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

I can also use some help changing smoke detector batteries...

I'm pretty sure it's needless to say but you (Tonker not Fork) are more than welcome on my couch or air mattress.  Strangley, I'm pretty sure Fork is much more convenient for the L but I do live around the corner from Rosa's.  And, when the Cubs make it to the WS, I'm pretty sure no one is going to be expecting me at work anyway.

Let's wait and see if your accommodations are up to King Tonker's exacting standards.  If you're lucky, you'll make the cut.

[PenFoe]

Casa Nova is at your complete disposal.

Whoa, just snuck in there under the CTA bar, huh?

Cheers, old friend.  You're on the list and, subject to the forthcoming lottery, could well the lucky recipient of a visit from me!  What a time to be alive, eh?

The L is a half block from my house, man.

For someone beseeching the benevolence & hospitality of his Internet friends, Tonker sure is rather shot-cally.

So all of a sudden I'm supposed to be all nice, and friendly, and kind and shit, just because I want something?  You guys would smell that a fucking mile away.

We just figured after two world wars, you'd be happy with any American assistance.

Except for your comparison to be valid you'd need to be charging me huge amounts to let me stay.

You'll at least help me change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

I can also use some help changing smoke detector batteries...

I'm pretty sure it's needless to say but you (Tonker not Fork) are more than welcome on my couch or air mattress.  Strangley, I'm pretty sure Fork is much more convenient for the L but I do live around the corner from Rosa's.  And, when the Cubs make it to the WS, I'm pretty sure no one is going to be expecting me at work anyway.

Let's wait and see if your accommodations are up to King Tonker's exacting standards.  If you're lucky, you'll make the cut.

Also, if you could buy a car seat for Tonk as well, that would be great.

[Tonker]

Casa Nova is at your complete disposal.

Whoa, just snuck in there under the CTA bar, huh?

Cheers, old friend.  You're on the list and, subject to the forthcoming lottery, could well the lucky recipient of a visit from me!  What a time to be alive, eh?

The L is a half block from my house, man.

For someone beseeching the benevolence & hospitality of his Internet friends, Tonker sure is rather shot-cally.

So all of a sudden I'm supposed to be all nice, and friendly, and kind and shit, just because I want something?  You guys would smell that a fucking mile away.

We just figured after two world wars, you'd be happy with any American assistance.

Except for your comparison to be valid you'd need to be charging me huge amounts to let me stay.

You'll at least help me change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

I can also use some help changing smoke detector batteries...

I'm pretty sure it's needless to say but you (Tonker not Fork) are more than welcome on my couch or air mattress.  Strangley, I'm pretty sure Fork is much more convenient for the L but I do live around the corner from Rosa's.  And, when the Cubs make it to the WS, I'm pretty sure no one is going to be expecting me at work anyway.

Let's wait and see if your accommodations are up to King Tonker's exacting standards.  If you're lucky, you'll make the cut.

I'm optimistic that it won't be as fucking hot as it was last time I crashed on Oleg's couch, which can only be a good thing.  Christ, that was a long night.

[Tonker]

Casa Nova is at your complete disposal.

Whoa, just snuck in there under the CTA bar, huh?

Cheers, old friend.  You're on the list and, subject to the forthcoming lottery, could well the lucky recipient of a visit from me!  What a time to be alive, eh?

The L is a half block from my house, man.

For someone beseeching the benevolence & hospitality of his Internet friends, Tonker sure is rather shot-cally.

So all of a sudden I'm supposed to be all nice, and friendly, and kind and shit, just because I want something?  You guys would smell that a fucking mile away.

We just figured after two world wars, you'd be happy with any American assistance.

Except for your comparison to be valid you'd need to be charging me huge amounts to let me stay.

You'll at least help me change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

I can also use some help changing smoke detector batteries...

I'm pretty sure it's needless to say but you (Tonker not Fork) are more than welcome on my couch or air mattress.  Strangley, I'm pretty sure Fork is much more convenient for the L but I do live around the corner from Rosa's.  And, when the Cubs make it to the WS, I'm pretty sure no one is going to be expecting me at work anyway.

Let's wait and see if your accommodations are up to King Tonker's exacting standards.  If you're lucky, you'll make the cut.

Also, if you could buy a car seat for Tonk as well, that would be great.

I'm also gonna need someone to go ahead and sort out a disposable credit card for me, too.

[Tonker]

Casa Nova is at your complete disposal.

Whoa, just snuck in there under the CTA bar, huh?

Cheers, old friend.  You're on the list and, subject to the forthcoming lottery, could well the lucky recipient of a visit from me!  What a time to be alive, eh?

The L is a half block from my house, man.

For someone beseeching the benevolence & hospitality of his Internet friends, Tonker sure is rather shot-cally.

So all of a sudden I'm supposed to be all nice, and friendly, and kind and shit, just because I want something?  You guys would smell that a fucking mile away.

We just figured after two world wars, you'd be happy with any American assistance.

Except for your comparison to be valid you'd need to be charging me huge amounts to let me stay.

You'll at least help me change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

I can also use some help changing smoke detector batteries...

I'm pretty sure it's needless to say but you (Tonker not Fork) are more than welcome on my couch or air mattress.  Strangley, I'm pretty sure Fork is much more convenient for the L but I do live around the corner from Rosa's.  And, when the Cubs make it to the WS, I'm pretty sure no one is going to be expecting me at work anyway.

Don't forget that we stayed round that way before we came out to Menver last year, and really, really liked it there.  I'll book you in for a couple of nights on a provisional basis, you lucky thing.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Casa Nova is at your complete disposal.

Whoa, just snuck in there under the CTA bar, huh?

Cheers, old friend.  You're on the list and, subject to the forthcoming lottery, could well the lucky recipient of a visit from me!  What a time to be alive, eh?

The L is a half block from my house, man.

For someone beseeching the benevolence & hospitality of his Internet friends, Tonker sure is rather shot-cally.

So all of a sudden I'm supposed to be all nice, and friendly, and kind and shit, just because I want something?  You guys would smell that a fucking mile away.

We just figured after two world wars, you'd be happy with any American assistance.

Except for your comparison to be valid you'd need to be charging me huge amounts to let me stay.

You'll at least help me change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

I can also use some help changing smoke detector batteries...

I'm pretty sure it's needless to say but you (Tonker not Fork) are more than welcome on my couch or air mattress.  Strangley, I'm pretty sure Fork is much more convenient for the L but I do live around the corner from Rosa's.  And, when the Cubs make it to the WS, I'm pretty sure no one is going to be expecting me at work anyway.

Let's wait and see if your accommodations are up to King Tonker's exacting standards.  If you're lucky, you'll make the cut.

Also, if you could buy a car seat for Tonk as well, that would be great.

I'm also gonna need someone to go ahead and sort out a disposable credit card for me, too.

Someone call?

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Casa Nova is at your complete disposal.

Whoa, just snuck in there under the CTA bar, huh?

Cheers, old friend.  You're on the list and, subject to the forthcoming lottery, could well the lucky recipient of a visit from me!  What a time to be alive, eh?

The L is a half block from my house, man.

For someone beseeching the benevolence & hospitality of his Internet friends, Tonker sure is rather shot-cally.

So all of a sudden I'm supposed to be all nice, and friendly, and kind and shit, just because I want something?  You guys would smell that a fucking mile away.

We just figured after two world wars, you'd be happy with any American assistance.

Except for your comparison to be valid you'd need to be charging me huge amounts to let me stay.

You'll at least help me change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

I can also use some help changing smoke detector batteries...

I'm pretty sure it's needless to say but you (Tonker not Fork) are more than welcome on my couch or air mattress.  Strangley, I'm pretty sure Fork is much more convenient for the L but I do live around the corner from Rosa's.  And, when the Cubs make it to the WS, I'm pretty sure no one is going to be expecting me at work anyway.

Let's wait and see if your accommodations are up to King Tonker's exacting standards.  If you're lucky, you'll make the cut.

Also, if you could buy a car seat for Tonk as well, that would be great.

RV's waiting for the latest SkyMall to hit the presses so he can get the most expensive one on the market.

[Tonker]

Casa Nova is at your complete disposal.

Whoa, just snuck in there under the CTA bar, huh?

Cheers, old friend.  You're on the list and, subject to the forthcoming lottery, could well the lucky recipient of a visit from me!  What a time to be alive, eh?

The L is a half block from my house, man.

For someone beseeching the benevolence & hospitality of his Internet friends, Tonker sure is rather shot-cally.

So all of a sudden I'm supposed to be all nice, and friendly, and kind and shit, just because I want something?  You guys would smell that a fucking mile away.

We just figured after two world wars, you'd be happy with any American assistance.

Except for your comparison to be valid you'd need to be charging me huge amounts to let me stay.

You'll at least help me change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

I can also use some help changing smoke detector batteries...

I'm pretty sure it's needless to say but you (Tonker not Fork) are more than welcome on my couch or air mattress.  Strangley, I'm pretty sure Fork is much more convenient for the L but I do live around the corner from Rosa's.  And, when the Cubs make it to the WS, I'm pretty sure no one is going to be expecting me at work anyway.

Let's wait and see if your accommodations are up to King Tonker's exacting standards.  If you're lucky, you'll make the cut.

Also, if you could buy a car seat for Tonk as well, that would be great.

I'm also gonna need someone to go ahead and sort out a disposable credit card for me, too.

Someone call?

I actually think I'll manage without this time, but thanks, buddy.  I thought you'd moved jobs, though?

[morpheus]

Casa Nova is at your complete disposal.

Whoa, just snuck in there under the CTA bar, huh?

Cheers, old friend.  You're on the list and, subject to the forthcoming lottery, could well the lucky recipient of a visit from me!  What a time to be alive, eh?

The L is a half block from my house, man.

For someone beseeching the benevolence & hospitality of his Internet friends, Tonker sure is rather shot-cally.

So all of a sudden I'm supposed to be all nice, and friendly, and kind and shit, just because I want something?  You guys would smell that a fucking mile away.

We just figured after two world wars, you'd be happy with any American assistance.

Except for your comparison to be valid you'd need to be charging me huge amounts to let me stay.

You'll at least help me change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

I can also use some help changing smoke detector batteries...

I'm pretty sure it's needless to say but you (Tonker not Fork) are more than welcome on my couch or air mattress.  Strangley, I'm pretty sure Fork is much more convenient for the L but I do live around the corner from Rosa's.  And, when the Cubs make it to the WS, I'm pretty sure no one is going to be expecting me at work anyway.

Let's wait and see if your accommodations are up to King Tonker's exacting standards.  If you're lucky, you'll make the cut.

I'm optimistic that it won't be as fucking hot as it was last time I crashed on Oleg's couch, which can only be a good thing.  Christ, that was a long night.

Well, with your legs completely off of the couch it must have been hard to sleep.

[R-V]

Casa Nova is at your complete disposal.

Whoa, just snuck in there under the CTA bar, huh?

Cheers, old friend.  You're on the list and, subject to the forthcoming lottery, could well the lucky recipient of a visit from me!  What a time to be alive, eh?

The L is a half block from my house, man.

For someone beseeching the benevolence & hospitality of his Internet friends, Tonker sure is rather shot-cally.

So all of a sudden I'm supposed to be all nice, and friendly, and kind and shit, just because I want something?  You guys would smell that a fucking mile away.

We just figured after two world wars, you'd be happy with any American assistance.

Except for your comparison to be valid you'd need to be charging me huge amounts to let me stay.

You'll at least help me change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

I can also use some help changing smoke detector batteries...

I'm pretty sure it's needless to say but you (Tonker not Fork) are more than welcome on my couch or air mattress.  Strangley, I'm pretty sure Fork is much more convenient for the L but I do live around the corner from Rosa's.  And, when the Cubs make it to the WS, I'm pretty sure no one is going to be expecting me at work anyway.

Let's wait and see if your accommodations are up to King Tonker's exacting standards.  If you're lucky, you'll make the cut.

Also, if you could buy a car seat for Tonk as well, that would be great.

RV's waiting for the latest SkyMall to hit the presses so he can get the most expensive one on the market.

If I'm headed out for a long weekend with the kids, I usually go with a low-cost option like this one so I don't feel bad about throwing it away at the airport.

[Tonker]

Casa Nova is at your complete disposal.

Whoa, just snuck in there under the CTA bar, huh?

Cheers, old friend.  You're on the list and, subject to the forthcoming lottery, could well the lucky recipient of a visit from me!  What a time to be alive, eh?

The L is a half block from my house, man.

For someone beseeching the benevolence & hospitality of his Internet friends, Tonker sure is rather shot-cally.

So all of a sudden I'm supposed to be all nice, and friendly, and kind and shit, just because I want something?  You guys would smell that a fucking mile away.

We just figured after two world wars, you'd be happy with any American assistance.

Except for your comparison to be valid you'd need to be charging me huge amounts to let me stay.

You'll at least help me change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

I can also use some help changing smoke detector batteries...

I'm pretty sure it's needless to say but you (Tonker not Fork) are more than welcome on my couch or air mattress.  Strangley, I'm pretty sure Fork is much more convenient for the L but I do live around the corner from Rosa's.  And, when the Cubs make it to the WS, I'm pretty sure no one is going to be expecting me at work anyway.

Let's wait and see if your accommodations are up to King Tonker's exacting standards.  If you're lucky, you'll make the cut.

Also, if you could buy a car seat for Tonk as well, that would be great.

RV's waiting for the latest SkyMall to hit the presses so he can get the most expensive one on the market.

If I'm headed out for a long weekend with the kids, I usually go with a low-cost option like this one so I don't feel bad about throwing it away at the airport.

Shitty death.  Do you think they do those in adult sizes?

[Wheezer]

So, wait, is this gonna hai?