Oleg's Upscale Fast Food Tour And Reviews

[Quality Start Machine]

People don't really travel to Arizona for the food.

Amen. Because if someone were dumb enough to do that, they'd be sorely disappointed. There's nothing there.

Which is why, earlier in this cesspool, I earnestly enquired as to WHERE a person is supposed to go eat to live up to Pen's arbitrary standards of dining. I have yet to receive an answer.

It appears this is all a ruse in order to mask Pen's ruthless hatred of our friend Oleg. I will not stand for this aggression.

I've been hated by better...

It's true. I can't stand you.

[CT III]

People don't really travel to Arizona for the food.

Amen. Because if someone were dumb enough to do that, they'd be sorely disappointed. There's nothing there.

Which is why, earlier in this cesspool, I earnestly enquired as to WHERE a person is supposed to go eat to live up to Pen's arbitrary standards of dining. I have yet to receive an answer.

It appears this is all a ruse in order to mask Pen's ruthless hatred of our friend Oleg. I will not stand for this aggression.

Pen only likes Olive Garden.

At least, I remember him talking about it all the time.

[Oleg]

People don't really travel to Arizona for the food.

Amen. Because if someone were dumb enough to do that, they'd be sorely disappointed. There's nothing there.

Which is why, earlier in this cesspool, I earnestly enquired as to WHERE a person is supposed to go eat to live up to Pen's arbitrary standards of dining. I have yet to receive an answer.

It appears this is all a ruse in order to mask Pen's ruthless hatred of our friend Oleg. I will not stand for this aggression.

I've been hated by better...

It's true. I can't stand you.

Like you're any better...

[Bort]

People don't really travel to Arizona for the food.

Amen. Because if someone were dumb enough to do that, they'd be sorely disappointed. There's nothing there.

Which is why, earlier in this cesspool, I earnestly enquired as to WHERE a person is supposed to go eat to live up to Pen's arbitrary standards of dining. I have yet to receive an answer.

It appears this is all a ruse in order to mask Pen's ruthless hatred of our friend Oleg. I will not stand for this aggression.

Pen only likes Olive Garden.

At least, I remember him talking about it all the time.

From what I remember, it's the only food within 15 miles of his tarpaper shack in the desert.

[Eli]

People don't really travel to Arizona for the food.

Amen. Because if someone were dumb enough to do that, they'd be sorely disappointed. There's nothing there.

Which is why, earlier in this cesspool, I earnestly enquired as to WHERE a person is supposed to go eat to live up to Pen's arbitrary standards of dining. I have yet to receive an answer.

It appears this is all a ruse in order to mask Pen's ruthless hatred of our friend Oleg. I will not stand for this aggression.

According to Chowhound, the five best eating establishments in the metropolitan Phoenix area are:

1. Taco Bell, 3101 East Thomas Road (I can vouch for this)
2. Del Taco, 1628 North 44th Street
3. Front Row Sports Grill, 401 East Jefferson Street
4. Hard Rock Cafe, 201 East Washington Street
5. Wendy's, 1727 West Glendale Avenue

[Slaky]

People don't really travel to Arizona for the food.

Amen. Because if someone were dumb enough to do that, they'd be sorely disappointed. There's nothing there.

Which is why, earlier in this cesspool, I earnestly enquired as to WHERE a person is supposed to go eat to live up to Pen's arbitrary standards of dining. I have yet to receive an answer.

It appears this is all a ruse in order to mask Pen's ruthless hatred of our friend Oleg. I will not stand for this aggression.

According to Chowhound, the five best eating establishments in the metropolitan Phoenix area are:

1. Taco Bell, 3101 East Thomas Road (I can vouch for this)
2. Del Taco, 1628 North 44th Street
3. Front Row Sports Grill, 401 East Jefferson Street
4. Hard Rock Cafe, 201 East Washington Street
5. Wendy's, 1727 West Glendale Avenue

That list is inaccurate. I distinctly remember seeing a P.F. Chang's somewhere on Camelback.

[Brownie]

People don't really travel to Arizona for the food.

Amen. Because if someone were dumb enough to do that, they'd be sorely disappointed. There's nothing there.

Which is why, earlier in this cesspool, I earnestly enquired as to WHERE a person is supposed to go eat to live up to Pen's arbitrary standards of dining. I have yet to receive an answer.

It appears this is all a ruse in order to mask Pen's ruthless hatred of our friend Oleg. I will not stand for this aggression.

According to Chowhound, the five best eating establishments in the metropolitan Phoenix area are:

1. Taco Bell, 3101 East Thomas Road (I can vouch for this)
2. Del Taco, 1628 North 44th Street
3. Front Row Sports Grill, 401 East Jefferson Street
4. Hard Rock Cafe, 201 East Washington Street
5. Wendy's, 1727 West Glendale Avenue

That list is inaccurate. I distinctly remember seeing a P.F. Chang's somewhere on Camelback.

There is a Cheesecake Factory at Bell Rd. and Scottsdale Rd.

[Internet Apex]

People don't really travel to Arizona for the food.

Amen. Because if someone were dumb enough to do that, they'd be sorely disappointed. There's nothing there.

Which is why, earlier in this cesspool, I earnestly enquired as to WHERE a person is supposed to go eat to live up to Pen's arbitrary standards of dining. I have yet to receive an answer.

It appears this is all a ruse in order to mask Pen's ruthless hatred of our friend Oleg. I will not stand for this aggression.

According to Chowhound, the five best eating establishments in the metropolitan Phoenix area are:

1. Taco Bell, 3101 East Thomas Road (I can vouch for this)
2. Del Taco, 1628 North 44th Street
3. Front Row Sports Grill, 401 East Jefferson Street
4. Hard Rock Cafe, 201 East Washington Street
5. Wendy's, 1727 West Glendale Avenue

That list is inaccurate. I distinctly remember seeing a P.F. Chang's somewhere on Camelback.

Intrepid Reader: Miss Val

Mmmmmmm.....

[Slaky]

People don't really travel to Arizona for the food.

Amen. Because if someone were dumb enough to do that, they'd be sorely disappointed. There's nothing there.

Which is why, earlier in this cesspool, I earnestly enquired as to WHERE a person is supposed to go eat to live up to Pen's arbitrary standards of dining. I have yet to receive an answer.

It appears this is all a ruse in order to mask Pen's ruthless hatred of our friend Oleg. I will not stand for this aggression.

According to Chowhound, the five best eating establishments in the metropolitan Phoenix area are:

1. Taco Bell, 3101 East Thomas Road (I can vouch for this)
2. Del Taco, 1628 North 44th Street
3. Front Row Sports Grill, 401 East Jefferson Street
4. Hard Rock Cafe, 201 East Washington Street
5. Wendy's, 1727 West Glendale Avenue

That list is inaccurate. I distinctly remember seeing a P.F. Chang's somewhere on Camelback.

Intrepid Reader: Miss Val

Mmmmmmm.....

Only four people even know who that is. I'm not one of them.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

People don't really travel to Arizona for the food.

Amen. Because if someone were dumb enough to do that, they'd be sorely disappointed. There's nothing there.

Which is why, earlier in this cesspool, I earnestly enquired as to WHERE a person is supposed to go eat to live up to Pen's arbitrary standards of dining. I have yet to receive an answer.

It appears this is all a ruse in order to mask Pen's ruthless hatred of our friend Oleg. I will not stand for this aggression.

According to Chowhound, the five best eating establishments in the metropolitan Phoenix area are:

1. Taco Bell, 3101 East Thomas Road (I can vouch for this)
2. Del Taco, 1628 North 44th Street
3. Front Row Sports Grill, 401 East Jefferson Street
4. Hard Rock Cafe, 201 East Washington Street
5. Wendy's, 1727 West Glendale Avenue

That list is inaccurate. I distinctly remember seeing a P.F. Chang's somewhere on Camelback.

Intrepid Reader: Miss Val

Mmmmmmm.....

Only four people even know who that is. I'm not one of them.

http://www.desipio.com/messageboard/index.php?action=profile;u=2761;sa=showPosts

Present relevance: she once told a story, completely unbidden, about giving her (now ex-) husband a hummer in a PF Chang's lav.

In California, if I'm not mistaken.

[Slaky]

People don't really travel to Arizona for the food.

Amen. Because if someone were dumb enough to do that, they'd be sorely disappointed. There's nothing there.

Which is why, earlier in this cesspool, I earnestly enquired as to WHERE a person is supposed to go eat to live up to Pen's arbitrary standards of dining. I have yet to receive an answer.

It appears this is all a ruse in order to mask Pen's ruthless hatred of our friend Oleg. I will not stand for this aggression.

According to Chowhound, the five best eating establishments in the metropolitan Phoenix area are:

1. Taco Bell, 3101 East Thomas Road (I can vouch for this)
2. Del Taco, 1628 North 44th Street
3. Front Row Sports Grill, 401 East Jefferson Street
4. Hard Rock Cafe, 201 East Washington Street
5. Wendy's, 1727 West Glendale Avenue

That list is inaccurate. I distinctly remember seeing a P.F. Chang's somewhere on Camelback.

Intrepid Reader: Miss Val

Mmmmmmm.....

Only four people even know who that is. I'm not one of them.

http://www.desipio.com/messageboard/index.php?action=profile;u=2761;sa=showPosts

Present relevance: she once told a story, completely unbidden, about giving her (now ex-) husband a hummer in a PF Chang's lav.

In California, if I'm not mistaken.

Good times... (uses misdirection and escapes through the fire exit)

[PenPho]

To be honest, I feel like Eli was kind of making fun of me.  I apologize for nothing, however.

No, I was attempting to give Pen a stroke as punishment for being such a wang about where people choose to eat meals.

The issue is not where people eat their meals.

Just don't eat at crappy places and then complain about the food.

Who complained about what?  In fact, both of my reviews so far have been pretty glowing.  I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with the language, Pen.

Now that I've put my head back together so it can explode again...a few things.

Frankly, my disappointment in this God-forsaken dessert is on me.  I should have known better than to spend any time in a place where PenWrong actually chose to live.

1. This doesn't exactly sound like a glowing review.

Which is why, earlier in this cesspool, I earnestly enquired as to WHERE a person is supposed to go eat to live up to Pen's arbitrary standards of dining. I have yet to receive an answer.
It appears this is all a ruse in order to mask Pen's ruthless hatred of our friend Oleg. I will not stand for this aggression.

2. I'm  not exactly sure where to start on this one - this is a city of over 4 million people, so the list of pretty good restaurants is awfully long.
If you'd like me to arbitrarily throw out a handful of names that won't mean anything to people, I'm happy to do so:
Barrio Cafe
Pizzeria Bianco
Spotted Donkey
Cibo
City Hall Steakhouse
Tarbell's
Arcadia Farms

3.

[Bort]

I assume this 4 million number is shored up by including coyotes, jackrabbits, and tumbleweeds on the census forms.

[R-V]

Frankly, my disappointment in this God-forsaken dessert is on me.  I should have known better than to spend any time in a place where PenWrong actually chose to live.

1. This doesn't exactly sound like a glowing review.

I think Oleg was trying to say that while its food doesn't necessarily suck, Arizona certainly does. Unless that isn't a typo and he was actually complaining about the milkshake he got at In N Out.

[flannj]

this is a city of over 4 million people

Rank    City                         Population
1.    New York, N.Y.         8,143,197
2.    Los Angeles, Calif.     3,844,829
3.    Chicago, Ill.              2,842,518
4.    Houston, Tex.           2,016,582
5.    Philadelphia, Pa.       1,463,281
6.    Phoenix, Ariz.           1,461,575
7.    San Antonio, Tex.     1,256,509
8.    San Diego, Calif.       1,255,540
9.    Dallas, Tex.              1,213,825
10.   San Jose, Calif.         912,332