2011 - 20?? Bears Offseason(s) Thread

[Internet Apex]

THE BEARS SPECIAL TEAMS ARE IN CRISIS DAMMIT SAM HURDS IN A WALKING BOOT DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

DAT GUY AIN'T NO MIKE H...DAVE SANSABELTER MY FRENT.

DAT'S SANZENBASHNAGEL YA IDJIT!

I apologize.  After some contemplation, it's become clear to me that SANSABELTER is a completely awesome nickname.

Jamal "Barbados Slim" Mayers agrees.

Does SANSABELTER wear no belt and constantly drop his drawers to reveal a 14-inch penis? I'm guessing yeah.

[BBM]

THE BEARS SPECIAL TEAMS ARE IN CRISIS DAMMIT SAM HURDS IN A WALKING BOOT DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

DAT GUY AIN'T NO MIKE H...DAVE SANSABELTER MY FRENT.

DAT'S SANZENBASHNAGEL YA IDJIT!

I apologize.  After some contemplation, it's become clear to me that SANSABELTER is a completely awesome nickname.

Jamal "Barbados Slim" Mayers agrees.

Does SANSABELTER wear no belt and constantly drop his drawers to reveal a 14-inch penis? I'm guessing yeah.

of course not.  Dude is honkified.  He's not a member of the Peter North Stars with Mackey Sasser or Sopel

[BH]

Alex Brown is available.

[BH]

Bill Barnwell calls it like he sees it. Our Bearz have NO CHANCE the Bears won't suck this year. 

"The Bears rode an awesome, unsustainable, life-affirming year of luck to the NFC Championship Game last season. Nobody can take that away from them. But let's pick away at that record to reveal why they will be terrible in 2011."

"Best-case scenario: They stay relatively healthy on defense, the offensive line percolates and produces a league-average attack, and they sneak into the playoffs as a 10-6 wild card.

Worst-case scenario: Oh, boy. Remember the 2010 Cowboys? Follow that blueprint to a T."

[Internet Apex]

Bill Barnwell calls it like he sees it. Our Bearz have NO CHANCE the Bears won't suck this year.  

"The Bears rode an awesome, unsustainable, life-affirming year of luck to the NFC Championship Game last season. Nobody can take that away from them. But let's pick away at that record to reveal why they will be terrible in 2011."

"Best-case scenario: They stay relatively healthy on defense, the offensive line percolates and produces a league-average attack, and they sneak into the playoffs as a 10-6 wild card.

Worst-case scenario: Oh, boy. Remember the 2010 Cowboys? Follow that blueprint to a T."

How can we be friends if you keep trying to whoeverthefuckthatisroll me? And what word from Slezak?

[SKO]

What? No one else is excited about Brandon Meriweather just falling into the Bears' lap? If he can stay out of trouble he's an awesome safety.

[Slaky]

What? No one else is excited about Brandon Meriweather just falling into the Bears' lap? If he can stay out of trouble he's an awesome safety.

All I keep reading about is what a prick he is.

[Internet Apex]

What? No one else is excited about Brandon Meriweather just falling into the Bears' lap? If he can stay out of trouble he's an awesome safety.

I was waiting for you to tell me it was ok to be excited about it. Now I can let this thing breathe. BONAR WEATHER

[CBStew]

What? No one else is excited about Brandon Meriweather just falling into the Bears' lap? If he can stay out of trouble he's an awesome safety.

  Sounds like a character in Gone With the Wind.

[Internet Apex]

What? No one else is excited about Brandon Meriweather just falling into the Bears' lap? If he can stay out of trouble he's an awesome safety.

  Sounds like a character in Gone With the Wind.

Which one?

[R-V]

What? No one else is excited about Brandon Meriweather just falling into the Bears' lap? If he can stay out of trouble he's an awesome safety.

All I keep reading about is what a prick he is.

And that Belichick NEVER gets rid of someone who gets results, stupid chief.

[SKO]

What? No one else is excited about Brandon Meriweather just falling into the Bears' lap? If he can stay out of trouble he's an awesome safety.

All I keep reading about is what a prick he is.

And that Belichick NEVER gets rid of someone who gets results, stupid chief.

I don't care if he's a prick or not, and the Pats get rid of plenty of talented players. They usually don't suffer because they have depth behind them, but Belichick doesn't want to deal with anybody who he considers to be a problem. They got rid of Lawyer Milloy in 2002 and he's Still playing. Seymour's been productive with the Raiders. Deion Branch wasn't a terrible player, the Seahawks just blew while he was there. McGinest had some good years in Cleveland. Belichick lets go of good players, he just wins without them. Either way, at best Meriweather's a Pro Bowl safety who immediately strengthens the secondary. At worst he's one hell of an insurance plan if Major Wright doesn't pan out.

[SKO]

What? No one else is excited about Brandon Meriweather just falling into the Bears' lap? If he can stay out of trouble he's an awesome safety.

All I keep reading about is what a prick he is.

And that Belichick NEVER gets rid of someone who gets results, stupid chief.

I don't care if he's a prick or not, and the Pats get rid of plenty of talented players. They usually don't suffer because they have depth behind them, but Belichick doesn't want to deal with anybody who he considers to be a problem. They got rid of Lawyer Milloy in 2002 and he's Still playing. Seymour's been productive with the Raiders. Deion Branch wasn't a terrible player, the Seahawks just blew while he was there. McGinest had some good years in Cleveland. Belichick lets go of good players, he just wins without them. Either way, at best Meriweather's a Pro Bowl safety who immediately strengthens the secondary. At worst he's one hell of an insurance plan if Major Wright doesn't pan out.

Also, Asante Samuel. Ty Law (10 interceptions the year after he left the Pats). Have I made my point yet?

[CBStew]

What? No one else is excited about Brandon Meriweather just falling into the Bears' lap? If he can stay out of trouble he's an awesome safety.

  Sounds like a character in Gone With the Wind.

Which one?

In the opening scene when Mizz Scarlet is getting ready to eat Bah Be Cue with the Tarleton twins  (otherwise known as Clark Kent and his brother) I could have sworn that Brandon Mera-weatheh was mentioned.

[Internet Apex]

What? No one else is excited about Brandon Meriweather just falling into the Bears' lap? If he can stay out of trouble he's an awesome safety.

  Sounds like a character in Gone With the Wind.

Which one?

In the opening scene when Mizz Scarlet is getting ready to eat Bah Be Cue with the Tarleton twins  (otherwise known as Clark Kent and his brother) I could have sworn that Brandon Mera-weatheh was mentioned.

Did they say he was a prick?