Desipio 2011 Fantasy Baseball Keeper League Smorgasborgasm

[JD]

How can you want to play in a league where someone kept Mike Napoli and Ryan Madsen? I'm not sure I even want to live in a world in which someone did that. What the fuck is wrong with you guys? Why am I asshurt about this?

You don't understand because you're a terrible fantasy baseball player.  You're butthurt because you're mad aboot that.  It's alright.  It's fake.  You being awful at it makes you cooler and manlier.

You talking trash to me is not going to make me sign up for one of your queer leagues. I hope you know that. And I know I'm a bad fantasy player. In order to be good you almost have to have players on your team that you can't fucking stand in real life. It aint that deep, brah.

I'm not talking trash.  I was stating a scientific fact.  You.  Arenotgood.  At fake baseball.


And I've never had a cardinal on my team and I've done just fine. 

If you put that on your resume and I was the hiring manager you'd definitely get a second look. (||)

Ok, I think that's the buttsex logo but I really don't know. Fill me in. Pun intended.

I've noticed him adding that smiley an awfully lot lately.  I don't know what it means, either.  If it's the buttsex logo, then does that mean he's flirting with me?  I'm flattered, Pex, but you're way too negative to get in these jorts.

[Internet Apex]

How can you want to play in a league where someone kept Mike Napoli and Ryan Madsen? I'm not sure I even want to live in a world in which someone did that. What the fuck is wrong with you guys? Why am I asshurt about this?

You don't understand because you're a terrible fantasy baseball player.  You're butthurt because you're mad aboot that.  It's alright.  It's fake.  You being awful at it makes you cooler and manlier.

You talking trash to me is not going to make me sign up for one of your queer leagues. I hope you know that. And I know I'm a bad fantasy player. In order to be good you almost have to have players on your team that you can't fucking stand in real life. It aint that deep, brah.

I'm not talking trash.  I was stating a scientific fact.  You.  Arenotgood.  At fake baseball.


And I've never had a cardinal on my team and I've done just fine.  

If you put that on your resume and I was the hiring manager you'd definitely get a second look. (||)

Ok, I think that's the buttsex logo but I really don't know. Fill me in. Pun intended.

I've noticed him adding that smiley an awfully lot lately.  I don't know what it means, either.  If it's the buttsex logo, then does that mean he's flirting with me?  I'm flattered, Pex, but you're way too negative to get in these jorts.

It's a picture of a "Pause." button. And it means: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Pause.

I know I'm negative on the interwebs. It's where I go to say all the hateful things that I don't want to say out loud. Do other people use the interwebs like this? Should I try to be more positive? I don't think I can. I mean the Packers are probably going to win the Super Bowl and I only have two emotions - rage and vomit. Sorry.

[JD]

How can you want to play in a league where someone kept Mike Napoli and Ryan Madsen? I'm not sure I even want to live in a world in which someone did that. What the fuck is wrong with you guys? Why am I asshurt about this?

You don't understand because you're a terrible fantasy baseball player.  You're butthurt because you're mad aboot that.  It's alright.  It's fake.  You being awful at it makes you cooler and manlier.

You talking trash to me is not going to make me sign up for one of your queer leagues. I hope you know that. And I know I'm a bad fantasy player. In order to be good you almost have to have players on your team that you can't fucking stand in real life. It aint that deep, brah.

I'm not talking trash.  I was stating a scientific fact.  You.  Arenotgood.  At fake baseball.


And I've never had a cardinal on my team and I've done just fine.  

If you put that on your resume and I was the hiring manager you'd definitely get a second look. (||)

Ok, I think that's the buttsex logo but I really don't know. Fill me in. Pun intended.

I've noticed him adding that smiley an awfully lot lately.  I don't know what it means, either.  If it's the buttsex logo, then does that mean he's flirting with me?  I'm flattered, Pex, but you're way too negative to get in these jorts.

It's a picture of a "Pause." button. And it means: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Pause.

I know I'm negative on the interwebs. It's where I go to say all the hateful things that I don't want to say out loud. Do other people use the interwebs like this? Should I try to be more positive? I don't think I can. I mean the Packers are probably going to win the Super Bowl and I only have two emotions - rage and vomit. Sorry.

I've never heard of that.  You win the intranets today.  And I don't mind if you're negative, but you'll never get me to chat you off on the facebook by being negative.

[Richard Chuggar]

Robinson Cano
David Price
Jered Weaver
Zack Greinke
Joe Nathan
Brett Gardner - pickup
Dave Holland - pickup
Corey Hart - pickup

[PenPho]

Robinson Cano
David Price
Jered Weaver
Zack Greinke
Joe Nathan
Brett Gardner - pickup
Dave Holland - pickup
Corey Hart - pickup

Can you put the rounds like everyone else did?

[Richard Chuggar]

Robinson Cano - 5
David Price - 7
Jered Weaver - 9
Zack Greinke - 10
Joe Nathan - 22
Brett Gardner - pickup - 13
Dave Holland - pickup - 12
Corey Hart - pickup - 11

Can you put the rounds like everyone else did?

I could

[PenPho]

Robinson Cano - 5
David Price - 7
Jered Weaver - 9
Zack Greinke - 10
Joe Nathan - 22
Brett Gardner - pickup - 13
Dave Holland - pickup - 12
Corey Hart - pickup - 20

Can you put the rounds like everyone else did?

I could

Hart was drafted in the 22nd, so you get him in the 20th.

[Richard Chuggar]

Robinson Cano - 5
David Price - 7
Jered Weaver - 9
Zack Greinke - 10
Joe Nathan - 22
Brett Gardner - pickup - 13
Dave Holland - pickup - 12
Corey Hart - pickup - 20

Can you put the rounds like everyone else did?

I could

Hart was drafted in the 22nd, so you get him in the 20th.

Even better

[JD]

Robinson Cano
David Price
Jered Weaver
Zack Greinke
Joe Nathan
Brett Gardner - pickup
Dave Holland - pickup
Corey Hart - pickup

The jazz bassist?

[PenPho]

Robinson Cano
David Price
Jered Weaver
Zack Greinke
Joe Nathan
Brett Gardner - pickup
Dave Holland - pickup
Corey Hart - pickup

The jazz bassist?

JD thinks you should have kept 14 middle relievers instead.

[JD]

Robinson Cano
David Price
Jered Weaver
Zack Greinke
Joe Nathan
Brett Gardner - pickup
Dave Holland - pickup
Corey Hart - pickup

The jazz bassist?

JD thinks you should have kept 14 middle relievers instead.

Holds are a category, right?  And you never know who'll end up closing, y'all...DANG!

[JD]

The league is up and the invites are out.  If you didn't get one, then the problem is with you.  You need to check a different email address.  It's there.  Trust me.

[Simmer]

Thanks for the invite.  Lets see if I get these keeper rules right.  If I screwed something up, just put me on blast and I'll fix it.

Round 3 -- Josh Hamilton
Round 4 -- Jose Valverde
Round 9 -- Carlos Beltran
Round 10 -- Mike Stanton
Round 11 -- Daniel Hudson
Round 12 -- Pedro Alvarez
Round 13 -- Clayton Richard
Round 14 -- Brian Matusz
Round 21 -- Wade Davis
Round 23 -- Barry Zito

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Thanks for the invite.  Lets see if I get these keeper rules right.  If I screwed something up, just put me on blast and I'll fix it.

Round 3 -- Josh Hamilton
Round 4 -- Jose Valverde
Round 9 -- Carlos Beltran
Round 10 -- Mike Stanton*
Round 11 -- Daniel Hudson*
Round 12 -- Pedro Alvarez*
Round 13 -- Clayton Richard
Round 14 -- Brian Matusz
Round 21 -- Wade Davis
Round 23 -- Barry Zito

Looks good to me.

(FA pickups *'d)

[Gilgamesh]

Jonathan Sanchez - 10th
Tyler Clippard - 18th
John Axford - Pickup
Carl Pavano - Pickup

4 keepers.

Yes, it was that good of a season last year.