Totally Unreadable

[Saul Goodman]

For some reason the New York Post predicts free agent signings.

It's time for The Post's annual Top 30 free-agent rankings and predictions.

Why 30? Because there are 30 teams.

That makes no ... that isn't ... why would ... hmmmm.

2. David Price, LHP

He loved playing for Joe Maddon in Tampa Bay.

Prediction: Cubs, eight years, $250 million.

Well, that's like 40 million more than anyone else has predicted, but ok, the Cubs get Price, that's not a bad choice.  Where does everyone else land?  28 teams to go!

7. Justin Upton, OF

He already has made more than $50 million, and he's only 28.

Prediction: Cubs, seven years, $161 million.

So much for the 30 players and 30 teams thing, huh.  Also: Upton?  Who definitely isn't a center fielder?  For seven years?  The Cubs?!  But that's not all...

22. Dexter Fowler, OF

They enjoyed a successful one-year trial, so...

Prediction: Cubs, four years, $50 million.

LOVE TO READ NEW YORK POST

[Quality Start Machine]

LOVE TO READ NEW YORK POST

Theo's not the only one getting creative.

[Eli]

For some reason the New York Post predicts free agent signings.

It's time for The Post's annual Top 30 free-agent rankings and predictions.

Why 30? Because there are 30 teams.

That makes no ... that isn't ... why would ... hmmmm.

2. David Price, LHP

He loved playing for Joe Maddon in Tampa Bay.

Prediction: Cubs, eight years, $250 million.

Well, that's like 40 million more than anyone else has predicted, but ok, the Cubs get Price, that's not a bad choice.  Where does everyone else land?  28 teams to go!

7. Justin Upton, OF

He already has made more than $50 million, and he's only 28.

Prediction: Cubs, seven years, $161 million.

So much for the 30 players and 30 teams thing, huh.  Also: Upton?  Who definitely isn't a center fielder?  For seven years?  The Cubs?!  But that's not all...

22. Dexter Fowler, OF

They enjoyed a successful one-year trial, so...

Prediction: Cubs, four years, $50 million.

LOVE TO READ NEW YORK POST

So, 8 years/$170 million for Jason Heyward and 7 years/$160 million for Justin Upton? Good talk.

[thehawk]

For some reason the New York Post predicts free agent signings.

It's time for The Post's annual Top 30 free-agent rankings and predictions.

Why 30? Because there are 30 teams.

That makes no ... that isn't ... why would ... hmmmm.

2. David Price, LHP

He loved playing for Joe Maddon in Tampa Bay.

Prediction: Cubs, eight years, $250 million.

Well, that's like 40 million more than anyone else has predicted, but ok, the Cubs get Price, that's not a bad choice.  Where does everyone else land?  28 teams to go!

7. Justin Upton, OF

He already has made more than $50 million, and he's only 28.

Prediction: Cubs, seven years, $161 million.

So much for the 30 players and 30 teams thing, huh.  Also: Upton?  Who definitely isn't a center fielder?  For seven years?  The Cubs?!  But that's not all...

22. Dexter Fowler, OF

They enjoyed a successful one-year trial, so...

Prediction: Cubs, four years, $50 million.

LOVE TO READ NEW YORK POST

With that mastery of mathematics, Phil Rogers should go write for the Post (please)

[Saul Goodman]

Brett would like you to appreciate just how much he personally cares about the well-being of Rick Renteria, a man he has never met.

I actually thought about Renteria a good bit this past season as he stayed out of the spotlight. I wondered what he was thinking. How he was feeling. How hard it may have been to watch this team that he led reasonably well for a season become a behemoth without him. Usually, by the time my vicarious sadness had reached a level where I started to put fingers to keys, the Cubs had hit another monster homer or won another walk-off game or done something delightfully silly, and I moved on.

[R-V]

Brett would like you to appreciate just how much he personally cares about the well-being of Rick Renteria, a man he has never met.

I actually thought about Renteria a good bit this past season as he stayed out of the spotlight. I wondered what he was thinking. How he was feeling. How hard it may have been to watch this team that he led reasonably well for a season become a behemoth without him. Usually, by the time my vicarious sadness had reached a level where I started to put fingers to keys, the Cubs had hit another monster homer or won another walk-off game or done something delightfully silly, and I moved on.

When does the court order mandating that you read every Bleacher Nation post expire?

[Quality Start Machine]

Brett would like you to appreciate just how much he personally cares about the well-being of Rick Renteria, a man he has never met.

I actually thought about Renteria a good bit this past season as he stayed out of the spotlight. I wondered what he was thinking. How he was feeling. How hard it may have been to watch this team that he led reasonably well for a season become a behemoth without him. Usually, by the time my vicarious sadness had reached a level where I started to put fingers to keys, the Cubs had hit another monster homer or won another walk-off game or done something delightfully silly, and I moved on.

I'm pretty sure even Renteria would admit the Cubs would be a different team had it been Renteria instead of Maddon running things.

[Saul Goodman]

Brett would like you to appreciate just how much he personally cares about the well-being of Rick Renteria, a man he has never met.

I actually thought about Renteria a good bit this past season as he stayed out of the spotlight. I wondered what he was thinking. How he was feeling. How hard it may have been to watch this team that he led reasonably well for a season become a behemoth without him. Usually, by the time my vicarious sadness had reached a level where I started to put fingers to keys, the Cubs had hit another monster homer or won another walk-off game or done something delightfully silly, and I moved on.

When does the court order mandating that you read every Bleacher Nation post expire?

Never. Lifetime sentence.

[Eli]

Brett would like you to appreciate just how much he personally cares about the well-being of Rick Renteria, a man he has never met.

I actually thought about Renteria a good bit this past season as he stayed out of the spotlight. I wondered what he was thinking. How he was feeling. How hard it may have been to watch this team that he led reasonably well for a season become a behemoth without him. Usually, by the time my vicarious sadness had reached a level where I started to put fingers to keys, the Cubs had hit another monster homer or won another walk-off game or done something delightfully silly, and I moved on.

When does the court order mandating that you read every Bleacher Nation post expire?

No kidding.

[Oleg]

Brett would like you to appreciate just how much he personally cares about the well-being of Rick Renteria, a man he has never met.

I actually thought about Renteria a good bit this past season as he stayed out of the spotlight. I wondered what he was thinking. How he was feeling. How hard it may have been to watch this team that he led reasonably well for a season become a behemoth without him. Usually, by the time my vicarious sadness had reached a level where I started to put fingers to keys, the Cubs had hit another monster homer or won another walk-off game or done something delightfully silly, and I moved on.

I'm pretty sure even Renteria would admit the Cubs would be a different team had it been Renteria instead of Maddon running things.

Do you think The Cubs would have promoted Russell or Schwarber so early if Renteria was manager?  I'm not sure what I'm getting at but that question popped into my head.

[Quality Start Machine]

Brett would like you to appreciate just how much he personally cares about the well-being of Rick Renteria, a man he has never met.

I actually thought about Renteria a good bit this past season as he stayed out of the spotlight. I wondered what he was thinking. How he was feeling. How hard it may have been to watch this team that he led reasonably well for a season become a behemoth without him. Usually, by the time my vicarious sadness had reached a level where I started to put fingers to keys, the Cubs had hit another monster homer or won another walk-off game or done something delightfully silly, and I moved on.

I'm pretty sure even Renteria would admit the Cubs would be a different team had it been Renteria instead of Maddon running things.

Do you think The Cubs would have promoted Russell or Schwarber so early if Renteria was manager?  I'm not sure what I'm getting at but that question popped into my head.

Everything this season came together perfectly, and changing a major ingredient in the recipe would have altered results. Can't see Jake Arrita doing a post-no-hitter presser in a onesie under Renteria. And don't get me wrong, I loved your doppelganger. But Maddon was the perfect man to bring this team through the chute.

[Shooter]

Brett would like you to appreciate just how much he personally cares about the well-being of Rick Renteria, a man he has never met.

I actually thought about Renteria a good bit this past season as he stayed out of the spotlight. I wondered what he was thinking. How he was feeling. How hard it may have been to watch this team that he led reasonably well for a season become a behemoth without him. Usually, by the time my vicarious sadness had reached a level where I started to put fingers to keys, the Cubs had hit another monster homer or won another walk-off game or done something delightfully silly, and I moved on.

Yes, the world was clamoring to hear from Rick Renteria.

[Tonker]

Brett would like you to appreciate just how much he personally cares about the well-being of Rick Renteria, a man he has never met.

I actually thought about Renteria a good bit this past season as he stayed out of the spotlight. I wondered what he was thinking. How he was feeling. How hard it may have been to watch this team that he led reasonably well for a season become a behemoth without him. Usually, by the time my vicarious sadness had reached a level where I started to put fingers to keys, the Cubs had hit another monster homer or won another walk-off game or done something delightfully silly, and I moved on.

I'm pretty sure even Renteria would admit the Cubs would be a different team had it been Renteria instead of Maddon running things.

Do you think The Cubs would have promoted Russell or Schwarber so early if Renteria was manager?  I'm not sure what I'm getting at but that question popped into my head.

Everything this season came together perfectly, and changing a major ingredient in the recipe would have altered results. Can't see Jake Arrita doing a post-no-hitter presser in a onesie under Renteria. And don't get me wrong, I loved your doppelganger. But Maddon was the perfect man to bring this team through the chute.

Do me a favour: fucking nobody loved Rick.  He's pure, distilled meh.  Even his Mum thinks he's pretty much an okay guy.

[Quality Start Machine]

Brett would like you to appreciate just how much he personally cares about the well-being of Rick Renteria, a man he has never met.

I actually thought about Renteria a good bit this past season as he stayed out of the spotlight. I wondered what he was thinking. How he was feeling. How hard it may have been to watch this team that he led reasonably well for a season become a behemoth without him. Usually, by the time my vicarious sadness had reached a level where I started to put fingers to keys, the Cubs had hit another monster homer or won another walk-off game or done something delightfully silly, and I moved on.

I'm pretty sure even Renteria would admit the Cubs would be a different team had it been Renteria instead of Maddon running things.

Do you think The Cubs would have promoted Russell or Schwarber so early if Renteria was manager?  I'm not sure what I'm getting at but that question popped into my head.

Everything this season came together perfectly, and changing a major ingredient in the recipe would have altered results. Can't see Jake Arrita doing a post-no-hitter presser in a onesie under Renteria. And don't get me wrong, I loved your doppelganger. But Maddon was the perfect man to bring this team through the chute.

Do me a favour: fucking nobody loved Rick.  He's pure, distilled meh.  Even his Mum thinks he's pretty much an okay guy.

He's lovable in a "sawed-off stoner who would give you the stained shirt off his back" way.

[R-V]

Matthew Trueblood ‏@MATrueblood  10 hours ago
If Cubs are spending any significant energy on Jake Arrieta this winter, I hope it's on gauging the trade market for him, not extending him.