Totally Unreadable

[Internet Apex]

From St. Louis Today as seen on Deadspin:

"We're spoiled, really. Watching postseason baseball and experiencing the thrills and the triumphs of October is no longer a privilege in St. Louis. It is a way of life, a part of the cityscape, and a cherished tradition that rarely fails to raise spirits and cause hearts to flutter.


This is St. Louis, the best baseball town in America. This is the home of the Cardinals, an iconic franchise that stands above most others that have occupied a place in our national pastime."

We should nuke them like in Return of the Living Dead.

Without even looking that's gotta be Leitch, no?

Oh, good. I definitely hate the Cardinals again.

I can't wait until they do one about Heat fans.

It's been done. Heat fans fall into the Yankee/Cowboy fan category of being awful, knowing they're awful and failing to give a single shit.

[PenFoe]

I think their defense will stop sucking once they get Miller and Bailey back. Also, I refuse to acknowledge the Chiefs are good because that means Hub Arkush was kind of right about something.

Bullshit, he was right about nothing.  He picked the team to go the Super Bowl last year and they went 2-14.  All it took for his "prediction" to look good this year was the complete replacement of the coaching staff, front office and quarterback.  Which makes this pretty much a completely different team.

I concede Hub Arkush NOTHING.

Exactly. It's an entirely different organization this year. If anything, it makes Hub look more ridiculous. Which is cool.

The Chiefs are stacked with young defensive talent, which is comforting since Phil Emery helped to draft most of it. I just fear they actually think Alex Smith is a long-term solution, and that could lead them to wasting a great team in true Chiefs fashion with a couple fo early playoff outs.

You fear this because why?  Are you actually a Chiefs fan?  Do you want to see the long-suffering fanbase finally get its due?  

I need some more information here.

[SKO]

I think their defense will stop sucking once they get Miller and Bailey back. Also, I refuse to acknowledge the Chiefs are good because that means Hub Arkush was kind of right about something.

Bullshit, he was right about nothing.  He picked the team to go the Super Bowl last year and they went 2-14.  All it took for his "prediction" to look good this year was the complete replacement of the coaching staff, front office and quarterback.  Which makes this pretty much a completely different team.

I concede Hub Arkush NOTHING.

Exactly. It's an entirely different organization this year. If anything, it makes Hub look more ridiculous. Which is cool.

The Chiefs are stacked with young defensive talent, which is comforting since Phil Emery helped to draft most of it. I just fear they actually think Alex Smith is a long-term solution, and that could lead them to wasting a great team in true Chiefs fashion with a couple fo early playoff outs.

You fear this because why?  Are you actually a Chiefs fan?  Do you want to see the long-suffering fanbase finally get its due?  

I need some more information here.

Pretty much. I know lots of Chiefs fans, living in Bugtussle as I do, and they're easily, in my opinion, one of the least hateable fanbases, and they've had to see their team lose about 700 playoff games, rough estimate, because their previous 49ers Backup QBs-come-franchise-saviors let them down. I think they deserve a break.

[SKO]

Plus Philly fans are the fucking worst and Andy Reid eventually winning a Superbowl in KC would give me a chuckle at their expense.

[Internet Apex]

I think their defense will stop sucking once they get Miller and Bailey back. Also, I refuse to acknowledge the Chiefs are good because that means Hub Arkush was kind of right about something.

Bullshit, he was right about nothing.  He picked the team to go the Super Bowl last year and they went 2-14.  All it took for his "prediction" to look good this year was the complete replacement of the coaching staff, front office and quarterback.  Which makes this pretty much a completely different team.

I concede Hub Arkush NOTHING.

Exactly. It's an entirely different organization this year. If anything, it makes Hub look more ridiculous. Which is cool.

The Chiefs are stacked with young defensive talent, which is comforting since Phil Emery helped to draft most of it. I just fear they actually think Alex Smith is a long-term solution, and that could lead them to wasting a great team in true Chiefs fashion with a couple fo early playoff outs.

You fear this because why?  Are you actually a Chiefs fan?  Do you want to see the long-suffering fanbase finally get its due?  

I need some more information here.

Pretty much. I know lots of Chiefs fans, living in Bugtussle as I do, and they're easily, in my opinion, one of the least hateable fanbases, and they've had to see their team lose about 700 playoff games, rough estimate, because their previous 49ers Backup QBs-come-franchise-saviors let them down. I think they deserve a break.

This makes sense. I know two Chiefs fans and I've met a handful more. They're actually all pretty good fans. I'm not gay for Andy Reid though. Not in the least. I'm with you on the Philly hate but I associate him with them and Vick.

[Brownie]

From St. Louis Today as seen on Deadspin:

"We're spoiled, really. Watching postseason baseball and experiencing the thrills and the triumphs of October is no longer a privilege in St. Louis. It is a way of life, a part of the cityscape, and a cherished tradition that rarely fails to raise spirits and cause hearts to flutter.


This is St. Louis, the best baseball town in America. This is the home of the Cardinals, an iconic franchise that stands above most others that have occupied a place in our national pastime."

We should nuke them like in Return of the Living Dead.

Without even looking that's gotta be Leitch, no?

Oh, good. I definitely hate the Cardinals again.

I can't wait until they do one about Heat fans.

It's been done. Heat fans fall into the Yankee/Cowboy fan category of being awful, knowing they're awful and failing to give a single shit.

Heat fans are like Marlins fans except the Marlins are Satanic child-eaters whose owner needs to catch a rare flesh-eating venereal disease before he dies in a slow-burning fire. And Apex's existence as a Heat fan means there are at least twice as many Heat fans as Marlins fans.

The Heat is none of that. Pat Riley, yeah, he can eat a bag of Kentucky dicks. But who cares? It's the NBA. It starts when we're still worried about football, and it ends just before the All-Star Break. It's great basketball, but before I can allow myself to get too butthurt about the Heat, I can reminisce about Michael Jordan, who got the better of Patrick Ewing every chance he got. In fact, Patrick Ewing probably made his son go to IU in gratitude for the great DAN DAKICH brilliantly executing the great BOB KNIGHT'S gameplan on Michael Jordan, thereby eliminating the opportunity for Jordan to deny Ewing once more.

Cowboy fans and Yankees fans are insufferable pricks who know it. I can respect that. Packers fans and Cardinals fans are a special breed and can hopefully see each other in their special place in Hell.

[R-V]

I think their defense will stop sucking once they get Miller and Bailey back. Also, I refuse to acknowledge the Chiefs are good because that means Hub Arkush was kind of right about something.

Bullshit, he was right about nothing.  He picked the team to go the Super Bowl last year and they went 2-14.  All it took for his "prediction" to look good this year was the complete replacement of the coaching staff, front office and quarterback.  Which makes this pretty much a completely different team.

I concede Hub Arkush NOTHING.

Exactly. It's an entirely different organization this year. If anything, it makes Hub look more ridiculous. Which is cool.

All great points, thanks guys. Feeling good knowing that I can go back to full-throttled mocking of Hub and his stupid face.

[Brownie]

I think their defense will stop sucking once they get Miller and Bailey back. Also, I refuse to acknowledge the Chiefs are good because that means Hub Arkush was kind of right about something.

Bullshit, he was right about nothing.  He picked the team to go the Super Bowl last year and they went 2-14.  All it took for his "prediction" to look good this year was the complete replacement of the coaching staff, front office and quarterback.  Which makes this pretty much a completely different team.

I concede Hub Arkush NOTHING.

Exactly. It's an entirely different organization this year. If anything, it makes Hub look more ridiculous. Which is cool.

The Chiefs are stacked with young defensive talent, which is comforting since Phil Emery helped to draft most of it. I just fear they actually think Alex Smith is a long-term solution, and that could lead them to wasting a great team in true Chiefs fashion with a couple fo early playoff outs.

You fear this because why?  Are you actually a Chiefs fan?  Do you want to see the long-suffering fanbase finally get its due?  

I need some more information here.

Pretty much. I know lots of Chiefs fans, living in Bugtussle as I do, and they're easily, in my opinion, one of the least hateable fanbases, and they've had to see their team lose about 700 playoff games, rough estimate, because their previous 49ers Backup QBs-come-franchise-saviors let them down. I think they deserve a break.

This makes sense. I know two Chiefs fans and I've met a handful more. They're actually all pretty good fans. I'm not gay for Andy Reid though. Not in the least. I'm with you on the Philly hate but I associate him with them and Vick.

\

Hank Stram and Lamar Hunt were kind of the balls as a coach and an owner, though.

[Brownie]

I think their defense will stop sucking once they get Miller and Bailey back. Also, I refuse to acknowledge the Chiefs are good because that means Hub Arkush was kind of right about something.

Bullshit, he was right about nothing.  He picked the team to go the Super Bowl last year and they went 2-14.  All it took for his "prediction" to look good this year was the complete replacement of the coaching staff, front office and quarterback.  Which makes this pretty much a completely different team.

I concede Hub Arkush NOTHING.

Exactly. It's an entirely different organization this year. If anything, it makes Hub look more ridiculous. Which is cool.

All great points, thanks guys. Feeling good knowing that I can go back to full-throttled mocking of Hub and his stupid face.

Best yet, Hub won't be able to write about how he was kind of right in his weekly news magazine.

[Internet Apex]

From St. Louis Today as seen on Deadspin:

"We're spoiled, really. Watching postseason baseball and experiencing the thrills and the triumphs of October is no longer a privilege in St. Louis. It is a way of life, a part of the cityscape, and a cherished tradition that rarely fails to raise spirits and cause hearts to flutter.


This is St. Louis, the best baseball town in America. This is the home of the Cardinals, an iconic franchise that stands above most others that have occupied a place in our national pastime."

We should nuke them like in Return of the Living Dead.

Without even looking that's gotta be Leitch, no?

Oh, good. I definitely hate the Cardinals again.

I can't wait until they do one about Heat fans.

It's been done. Heat fans fall into the Yankee/Cowboy fan category of being awful, knowing they're awful and failing to give a single shit.

Heat fans are like Marlins fans except the Marlins are Satanic child-eaters whose owner needs to catch a rare flesh-eating venereal disease before he dies in a slow-burning fire. And Apex's existence as a Heat fan means there are at least twice as many Heat fans as Marlins fans.

The Heat is none of that. Pat Riley, yeah, he can eat a bag of Kentucky dicks. But who cares? It's the NBA. It starts when we're still worried about football, and it ends just before the All-Star Break. It's great basketball, but before I can allow myself to get too butthurt about the Heat, I can reminisce about Michael Jordan, who got the better of Patrick Ewing every chance he got. In fact, Patrick Ewing probably made his son go to IU in gratitude for the great DAN DAKICH brilliantly executing the great BOB KNIGHT'S gameplan on Michael Jordan, thereby eliminating the opportunity for Jordan to deny Ewing once more.

Cowboy fans and Yankees fans are insufferable pricks who know it. I can respect that. Packers fans and Cardinals fans are a special breed and can hopefully see each other in their special place in Hell.

I think it's funny the way people laud the defense played on Jordan by the GRITTY Dan Dakich in that game. Knight had his guys sag off of Jordan and dare him to shoot jumpers before His Airness had developed that part of his game. That was smart but Jesus Christ it's not like he did some kind of yeomen work on the guy. Jordan fouled out with 13 points in 26 minutes. I guess he hadn't developed that famous diplomatic immunity yet either. 

[Internet Apex]

I think their defense will stop sucking once they get Miller and Bailey back. Also, I refuse to acknowledge the Chiefs are good because that means Hub Arkush was kind of right about something.

Bullshit, he was right about nothing.  He picked the team to go the Super Bowl last year and they went 2-14.  All it took for his "prediction" to look good this year was the complete replacement of the coaching staff, front office and quarterback.  Which makes this pretty much a completely different team.

I concede Hub Arkush NOTHING.

Exactly. It's an entirely different organization this year. If anything, it makes Hub look more ridiculous. Which is cool.

The Chiefs are stacked with young defensive talent, which is comforting since Phil Emery helped to draft most of it. I just fear they actually think Alex Smith is a long-term solution, and that could lead them to wasting a great team in true Chiefs fashion with a couple fo early playoff outs.

You fear this because why?  Are you actually a Chiefs fan?  Do you want to see the long-suffering fanbase finally get its due?  

I need some more information here.

Pretty much. I know lots of Chiefs fans, living in Bugtussle as I do, and they're easily, in my opinion, one of the least hateable fanbases, and they've had to see their team lose about 700 playoff games, rough estimate, because their previous 49ers Backup QBs-come-franchise-saviors let them down. I think they deserve a break.

This makes sense. I know two Chiefs fans and I've met a handful more. They're actually all pretty good fans. I'm not gay for Andy Reid though. Not in the least. I'm with you on the Philly hate but I associate him with them and Vick.

\

Hank Stram and Lamar Hunt were kind of the balls as a coach and an owner, though.

Len Dawson and Kyle Orton stopped by on their ways to Canton as well. Orton was in a Winnebago I think. 

[Eli]

I think their defense will stop sucking once they get Miller and Bailey back. Also, I refuse to acknowledge the Chiefs are good because that means Hub Arkush was kind of right about something.

Bullshit, he was right about nothing.  He picked the team to go the Super Bowl last year and they went 2-14.  All it took for his "prediction" to look good this year was the complete replacement of the coaching staff, front office and quarterback.  Which makes this pretty much a completely different team.

I concede Hub Arkush NOTHING.

Exactly. It's an entirely different organization this year. If anything, it makes Hub look more ridiculous. Which is cool.

The Chiefs are stacked with young defensive talent, which is comforting since Phil Emery helped to draft most of it. I just fear they actually think Alex Smith is a long-term solution, and that could lead them to wasting a great team in true Chiefs fashion with a couple fo early playoff outs.

You fear this because why?  Are you actually a Chiefs fan?  Do you want to see the long-suffering fanbase finally get its due?  

I need some more information here.

Pretty much. I know lots of Chiefs fans, living in Bugtussle as I do, and they're easily, in my opinion, one of the least hateable fanbases, and they've had to see their team lose about 700 playoff games, rough estimate, because their previous 49ers Backup QBs-come-franchise-saviors let them down. I think they deserve a break.

This makes sense. I know two Chiefs fans and I've met a handful more. They're actually all pretty good fans. I'm not gay for Andy Reid though. Not in the least. I'm with you on the Philly hate but I associate him with them and Vick.

I like Chiefs fans. Which is weird, because a lot of them are KU fans, who are the absolute worst.

[Internet Apex]

After the first goddamned possession.

Fuck you, Chuck.

I still kind of agree with Chuck

The Bears have a mediocre defense, but the team overall is not "shitty".

And they're certainly not "shitty" just because an offense that's averaging over 28 points per game failed to convert once off a turnover.

I hate Bears fans. They were down 6 freaking defensive starters by the end of the game tonight and we're mad that they only won by 6. Our quarterback is putting up top ten numbers and easily destroying franchise records and we bitch because some drives stalled and they got fucked by a lame grounding call on what was clearly a screen. The offense is averaging 28 PPG and over 370 YPG but they don't score for whole quarters sometimes so they suck. I hate Bears fans. We don't deserve a Superbowl team if we ever get one.

28.7 PPG/369.2 YPG against teams who've otherwise given up a collective 22.9 PPG/346.6 YPG to their non-Bears opponents. The latter being conveniently close to league average.

In their first six games of a brand new offense, with four new starters on the offensive line, two of which are rookies.

It really doesn't matter if the Bears meet some arbitrary definition of "mediocre" or "elite" - if they get in the playoffs, is there really anyone outside of Denver that they'd be significantly overmatched by? Is anyone outside of Denver elite? This league is a crapshoot. Win ugly, get in the playoffs, and see wha hai.

The glass is half-full on offense. They're a couple of botched plays away from being very good. There's potential to get better and they just might. The glass is half-empty on defense. They're old, they're injured and there is no help on the way. Next year's draft is the earliest we'll likely see any improvement there. They're a middle-of-the pack NFL team just like 28 other NFL teams. That's what football is now and probably will be before the sport is outlawed or the economy collapses and soccer is the only sport anybody can afford to play.

[PenFoe]

I think their defense will stop sucking once they get Miller and Bailey back. Also, I refuse to acknowledge the Chiefs are good because that means Hub Arkush was kind of right about something.

Bullshit, he was right about nothing.  He picked the team to go the Super Bowl last year and they went 2-14.  All it took for his "prediction" to look good this year was the complete replacement of the coaching staff, front office and quarterback.  Which makes this pretty much a completely different team.

I concede Hub Arkush NOTHING.

Exactly. It's an entirely different organization this year. If anything, it makes Hub look more ridiculous. Which is cool.

The Chiefs are stacked with young defensive talent, which is comforting since Phil Emery helped to draft most of it. I just fear they actually think Alex Smith is a long-term solution, and that could lead them to wasting a great team in true Chiefs fashion with a couple fo early playoff outs.

You fear this because why?  Are you actually a Chiefs fan?  Do you want to see the long-suffering fanbase finally get its due?  

I need some more information here.

Pretty much. I know lots of Chiefs fans, living in Bugtussle as I do, and they're easily, in my opinion, one of the least hateable fanbases, and they've had to see their team lose about 700 playoff games, rough estimate, because their previous 49ers Backup QBs-come-franchise-saviors let them down. I think they deserve a break.

This makes sense. I know two Chiefs fans and I've met a handful more. They're actually all pretty good fans. I'm not gay for Andy Reid though. Not in the least. I'm with you on the Philly hate but I associate him with them and Vick.

I like Chiefs fans. Which is weird, because a lot of them are KU fans, who are the absolute worst.

There feels like a whole lot of sincerity going on here what with liking other fanbases.

I, for one, am not comfortable with any of it.

[SKO]

I think their defense will stop sucking once they get Miller and Bailey back. Also, I refuse to acknowledge the Chiefs are good because that means Hub Arkush was kind of right about something.

Bullshit, he was right about nothing.  He picked the team to go the Super Bowl last year and they went 2-14.  All it took for his "prediction" to look good this year was the complete replacement of the coaching staff, front office and quarterback.  Which makes this pretty much a completely different team.

I concede Hub Arkush NOTHING.

Exactly. It's an entirely different organization this year. If anything, it makes Hub look more ridiculous. Which is cool.

The Chiefs are stacked with young defensive talent, which is comforting since Phil Emery helped to draft most of it. I just fear they actually think Alex Smith is a long-term solution, and that could lead them to wasting a great team in true Chiefs fashion with a couple fo early playoff outs.

You fear this because why?  Are you actually a Chiefs fan?  Do you want to see the long-suffering fanbase finally get its due?  

I need some more information here.

Pretty much. I know lots of Chiefs fans, living in Bugtussle as I do, and they're easily, in my opinion, one of the least hateable fanbases, and they've had to see their team lose about 700 playoff games, rough estimate, because their previous 49ers Backup QBs-come-franchise-saviors let them down. I think they deserve a break.

This makes sense. I know two Chiefs fans and I've met a handful more. They're actually all pretty good fans. I'm not gay for Andy Reid though. Not in the least. I'm with you on the Philly hate but I associate him with them and Vick.

I like Chiefs fans. Which is weird, because a lot of them are KU fans, who are the absolute worst.

And a handful of them are Cardinals fans, which is just intolerable. But generally your average Chiefs/Royals fan is an acceptable human being. Which is more than I'll grant Bears fans at this point.