Totally Unreadable

[Eli]

I really wish I had TWEETED THAT about my predicted headline for Gordo's recap, because I swear to God I said to my wife he was going to use this exact headline:

http://chicago.suntimes.com/baseball/7/71/501638/0h-155-million-cubs-new-ace-jon-lester-fall-cards-opener

0-for-$155 million: Cubs, new ace Jon Lester fall to Cards in opener

Of course, the Cubs aren't going to go 0-162.

But after nearly four months of buildup and more than three hours of the stuff that counts, they're 0h-for-155 million.

What is 0-for-$155 million even supposed to mean?

[SKO]

I really wish I had TWEETED THAT about my predicted headline for Gordo's recap, because I swear to God I said to my wife he was going to use this exact headline:

http://chicago.suntimes.com/baseball/7/71/501638/0h-155-million-cubs-new-ace-jon-lester-fall-cards-opener

0-for-$155 million: Cubs, new ace Jon Lester fall to Cards in opener

Of course, the Cubs aren't going to go 0-162.

But after nearly four months of buildup and more than three hours of the stuff that counts, they're 0h-for-155 million.

What is 0-for-$155 million even supposed to mean?

It means the Cubs spent too much on the elite free agent pitcher that Gordo said they were too cheap and broke to sign anyway, stupid.

Also, if I remember my lessons from the Paul Sullivan School of Ace-Defining from the days when he went after Carlos Zambrano every week, Opening Day starts count as "big games" and the kind of games aces are supposed to win, so by failing at this, Lester gets disqualified from ace status, thereby making the Cubs $155 million investment a total loss.

[ChuckD]

I really wish I had TWEETED THAT about my predicted headline for Gordo's recap, because I swear to God I said to my wife he was going to use this exact headline:

http://chicago.suntimes.com/baseball/7/71/501638/0h-155-million-cubs-new-ace-jon-lester-fall-cards-opener

0-for-$155 million: Cubs, new ace Jon Lester fall to Cards in opener

Of course, the Cubs aren't going to go 0-162.

But after nearly four months of buildup and more than three hours of the stuff that counts, they're 0h-for-155 million.

What is 0-for-$155 million even supposed to mean?

It means they're batting $.000. But if they get a hit in their next AB, they'll be batting $.000000006.

[R-V]

I really wish I had TWEETED THAT about my predicted headline for Gordo's recap, because I swear to God I said to my wife he was going to use this exact headline:

http://chicago.suntimes.com/baseball/7/71/501638/0h-155-million-cubs-new-ace-jon-lester-fall-cards-opener

0-for-$155 million: Cubs, new ace Jon Lester fall to Cards in opener

Of course, the Cubs aren't going to go 0-162.

But after nearly four months of buildup and more than three hours of the stuff that counts, they're 0h-for-155 million.

What is 0-for-$155 million even supposed to mean?

It means they're batting $.000. But if they get a hit in their next AB, they'll be batting $.000000006.

Every time Lester pitches, he's nearly 100 percent of the way to not being able to throw the ball to first base. Absolutely staggering.

[Quality Start Machine]

I really wish I had TWEETED THAT about my predicted headline for Gordo's recap, because I swear to God I said to my wife he was going to use this exact headline:

http://chicago.suntimes.com/baseball/7/71/501638/0h-155-million-cubs-new-ace-jon-lester-fall-cards-opener

0-for-$155 million: Cubs, new ace Jon Lester fall to Cards in opener

Of course, the Cubs aren't going to go 0-162.

But after nearly four months of buildup and more than three hours of the stuff that counts, they're 0h-for-155 million.

What is 0-for-$155 million even supposed to mean?

It means they're batting $.000. But if they get a hit in their next AB, they'll be batting $.000000006.

Every time Lester pitches, he's nearly 100 percent of the way to not being able to throw the ball to first base. Absolutely staggering.

Just wait until SKO's friend's daughter meets Lester.

[SKO]

I really wish I had TWEETED THAT about my predicted headline for Gordo's recap, because I swear to God I said to my wife he was going to use this exact headline:

http://chicago.suntimes.com/baseball/7/71/501638/0h-155-million-cubs-new-ace-jon-lester-fall-cards-opener

0-for-$155 million: Cubs, new ace Jon Lester fall to Cards in opener

Of course, the Cubs aren't going to go 0-162.

But after nearly four months of buildup and more than three hours of the stuff that counts, they're 0h-for-155 million.

What is 0-for-$155 million even supposed to mean?

It means they're batting $.000. But if they get a hit in their next AB, they'll be batting $.000000006.

Every time Lester pitches, he's nearly 100 percent of the way to not being able to throw the ball to first base. Absolutely staggering.

Just wait until SKO's friend's daughter meets Lester.

I am really, really confused by what you mean by this and I'm scared to ask.

[Quality Start Machine]

I really wish I had TWEETED THAT about my predicted headline for Gordo's recap, because I swear to God I said to my wife he was going to use this exact headline:

http://chicago.suntimes.com/baseball/7/71/501638/0h-155-million-cubs-new-ace-jon-lester-fall-cards-opener

0-for-$155 million: Cubs, new ace Jon Lester fall to Cards in opener

Of course, the Cubs aren't going to go 0-162.

But after nearly four months of buildup and more than three hours of the stuff that counts, they're 0h-for-155 million.

What is 0-for-$155 million even supposed to mean?

It means they're batting $.000. But if they get a hit in their next AB, they'll be batting $.000000006.

Every time Lester pitches, he's nearly 100 percent of the way to not being able to throw the ball to first base. Absolutely staggering.

Just wait until SKO's friend's daughter meets Lester.

I am really, really confused by what you mean by this and I'm scared to ask.

Just thread bleed...besides, from the sound of it, your friend would immediately anoint Jon Lester the Greatest Pitcher of All Time if she make make it about her kid.

[Saul Goodman]

I really wish I had TWEETED THAT about my predicted headline for Gordo's recap, because I swear to God I said to my wife he was going to use this exact headline:

http://chicago.suntimes.com/baseball/7/71/501638/0h-155-million-cubs-new-ace-jon-lester-fall-cards-opener

0-for-$155 million: Cubs, new ace Jon Lester fall to Cards in opener

Of course, the Cubs aren't going to go 0-162.

But after nearly four months of buildup and more than three hours of the stuff that counts, they're 0h-for-155 million.

What is 0-for-$155 million even supposed to mean?

It means they're batting $.000. But if they get a hit in their next AB, they'll be batting $.000000006.

Every time Lester pitches, he's nearly 100 percent of the way to not being able to throw the ball to first base. Absolutely staggering.

Just wait until SKO's friend's daughter meets Lester.

I am really, really confused by what you mean by this and I'm scared to ask.

Just thread bleed...besides, from the sound of it, your friend would immediately anoint Jon Lester the Greatest Pitcher of All Time if she make make it about her kid.

The whole make make?

[SKO]

I really wish I had TWEETED THAT about my predicted headline for Gordo's recap, because I swear to God I said to my wife he was going to use this exact headline:

http://chicago.suntimes.com/baseball/7/71/501638/0h-155-million-cubs-new-ace-jon-lester-fall-cards-opener

0-for-$155 million: Cubs, new ace Jon Lester fall to Cards in opener

Of course, the Cubs aren't going to go 0-162.

But after nearly four months of buildup and more than three hours of the stuff that counts, they're 0h-for-155 million.

What is 0-for-$155 million even supposed to mean?

It means they're batting $.000. But if they get a hit in their next AB, they'll be batting $.000000006.

Every time Lester pitches, he's nearly 100 percent of the way to not being able to throw the ball to first base. Absolutely staggering.

Just wait until SKO's friend's daughter meets Lester.

I am really, really confused by what you mean by this and I'm scared to ask.

Just thread bleed...besides, from the sound of it, your friend would immediately anoint Jon Lester the Greatest Pitcher of All Time if she make make it about her kid.

Why are you the way you are

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Anyone else think Bo Ryan still looks like he was just missed by the '83 Caddy two days ago on U.S. 41 south of Green Bay?

[SKO]

Anyone else think Bo Ryan still looks like he was just missed by the '83 Caddy two days ago on U.S. 41 south of Green Bay?

I hope thousands of years from now that quote is the last remnant of the English language and scientists remain as in awe of it as we are.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Anyone else think Bo Ryan still looks like he was just missed by the '83 Caddy two days ago on U.S. 41 south of Green Bay?

I hope thousands of years from now that quote is the last remnant of the English language and scientists remain as in awe of it as we are.

I still point to that day as one of the 5 greatest in Desipio History.  Peak commentary.

[Saul Goodman]

Anyone else think Bo Ryan still looks like he was just missed by the '83 Caddy two days ago on U.S. 41 south of Green Bay?

I hope thousands of years from now that quote is the last remnant of the English language and scientists remain as in awe of it as we are.

I still point to that day as one of the 5 greatest in Desipio History.  Peak commentary.

Where's the 30-for-30, ESPN?

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Anyone else think Bo Ryan still looks like he was just missed by the '83 Caddy two days ago on U.S. 41 south of Green Bay?

I hope thousands of years from now that quote is the last remnant of the English language and scientists remain as in awe of it as we are.

I still point to that day as one of the 5 greatest in Desipio History.  Peak commentary.

Where's the 30-for-30, ESPN?

http://www.desipio.com/messageboard/index.php?topic=7745.msg271661#msg271661

[ChuckD]

Anyone else think Bo Ryan still looks like he was just missed by the '83 Caddy two days ago on U.S. 41 south of Green Bay?

I hope thousands of years from now that quote is the last remnant of the English language and scientists remain as in awe of it as we are.

I still point to that day as one of the 5 greatest in Desipio History.  Peak commentary.

Where's the 30-for-30, ESPN?

http://www.desipio.com/messageboard/index.php?topic=7745.msg271661#msg271661

That was 10+ years ago. Jesus...

On a related note, I can't figure this out:

Fans lined up for many hours to buy the hot new video game "Halo 2." The game is pretty wild, if you're able to get Tara Reid to flash, you get an obscene call from Bill O'Reilly and Martha Stewart goes to prison.

And I still laugh that, of the teams on his "Seven teams most likely to underachieve" list, BC simultaneously picked four of them for the Final Four and the #1 most likely to underachieve team to win the title.