Totally Unreadable

[CT III]

This will cheer you up Slak.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/football/bears/ct-spt-0818-haugh-bears-chicago--20110818,0,4384932.column

LEAVE OUR HAINEY ALONE MERTZ!

[Slaky]

This will cheer you up Slak.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/football/bears/ct-spt-0818-haugh-bears-chicago--20110818,0,4384932.column

LEAVE OUR HAINEY ALONE MERTZ!

Instead of the simple and sense-making Haniemania he types out "Caleb 'Hania'".

Are you fucking kidding me?

I really missed my calling. This "job" of his requires writing 15 word paragraphs. He must kick these things out in 10 minutes.

On the bright side, you know things are somewhat good when this, of all things, is the big story.

[SKO]

This will cheer you up Slak.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/football/bears/ct-spt-0818-haugh-bears-chicago--20110818,0,4384932.column

LEAVE OUR HAINEY ALONE MERTZ!

Instead of the simple and sense-making Haniemania he types out "Caleb 'Hania'".

Are you fucking kidding me?

I really missed my calling. This "job" of his requires writing 15 word paragraphs. He must kick these things out in 10 minutes.

On the bright side, you know things are somewhat good when this, of all things, is the big story.

I love that this city can't live without a quarterback controversy. Jay is entrenched, so we all have to argue over which guy will take over if the season is fucked anyway?

[Waco Kid]

This will cheer you up Slak.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/football/bears/ct-spt-0818-haugh-bears-chicago--20110818,0,4384932.column

LEAVE OUR HAINEY ALONE MERTZ!

Instead of the simple and sense-making Haniemania he types out "Caleb 'Hania'".

Are you fucking kidding me?

I really missed my calling. This "job" of his requires writing 15 word paragraphs. He must kick these things out in 10 minutes.

On the bright side, you know things are somewhat good when this, of all things, is the big story.

I love that this city can't live without a quarterback controversy. Jay is entrenched, so we all have to argue over which guy will take over if the season is fucked anyway?

This is just filler until a preseason loss. Then the full blown panic can begin.

[R-V]

This will cheer you up Slak.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/football/bears/ct-spt-0818-haugh-bears-chicago--20110818,0,4384932.column

LEAVE OUR HAINEY ALONE MERTZ!

Instead of the simple and sense-making Haniemania he types out "Caleb 'Hania'".

Are you fucking kidding me?

I really missed my calling. This "job" of his requires writing 15 word paragraphs. He must kick these things out in 10 minutes.

On the bright side, you know things are somewhat good when this, of all things, is the big story.

I love that this city can't live without a quarterback controversy. Jay is entrenched, so we all have to argue over which guy will take over if the season is fucked anyway?

The only thing worse than reading a David Haugh column is knowing that your backup QB is the desiccated remains of Todd Collins. I don't care if it's Hanie or Enderle. As long as Todd stays dead and gone.

[SKO]

This will cheer you up Slak.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/football/bears/ct-spt-0818-haugh-bears-chicago--20110818,0,4384932.column

LEAVE OUR HAINEY ALONE MERTZ!

Instead of the simple and sense-making Haniemania he types out "Caleb 'Hania'".

Are you fucking kidding me?

I really missed my calling. This "job" of his requires writing 15 word paragraphs. He must kick these things out in 10 minutes.

On the bright side, you know things are somewhat good when this, of all things, is the big story.

I love that this city can't live without a quarterback controversy. Jay is entrenched, so we all have to argue over which guy will take over if the season is fucked anyway?

The only thing worse than reading a David Haugh column is knowing that your backup QB is the desiccated remains of Todd Collins. I don't care if it's Hanie or Enderle. As long as Todd stays dead and gone.

David Haugh is so inconsistent on this it's hilarious, though. This is Haugh last year after Cutler's bad game against the Redskins:

I have doubts Martz can. Martz has made a career out of designing ways to make quarterbacks pile up big numbers. What he has done mostly with Cutler is enlarge his ego. End the bro-mance. A struggling, self-destructive quarterback doesn't need to hear how brilliant he is. He needs to be threatened with his job if he throws four picks again.

The praise Martz lavishes on Cutler is as embarrassing as it is enabling.

This is Haugh in that article:

Martz inherited Hanie but he has to stop inhibiting him. Keep doubting a quarterback and eventually his tentative play will prove a coach right. But throw support behind a guy through adversity and often that faith is rewarded.

Also:

But Hanie possesses a knack for making plays, a quality that turned him into Mr. August every training camp before this one. Those traits resurfaced Wednesday in a solid practice, the same instincts that carried Hanie in a playoff performance that apparently impressed everybody in Chicago but Martz.

Hanie threw three picks in that practice. John Mullin said he looked abysmal.

Schmuck.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

This will cheer you up Slak.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/football/bears/ct-spt-0818-haugh-bears-chicago--20110818,0,4384932.column

LEAVE OUR HAINEY ALONE MERTZ!

Instead of the simple and sense-making Haniemania he types out "Caleb 'Hania'".

Are you fucking kidding me?

I really missed my calling. This "job" of his requires writing 15 word paragraphs. He must kick these things out in 10 minutes.

On the bright side, you know things are somewhat good when this, of all things, is the big story.

I love that this city can't live without a quarterback controversy. Jay is entrenched, so we all have to argue over which guy will take over if the season is fucked anyway?

The only thing worse than reading a David Haugh column is knowing that your backup QB is the desiccated remains of Todd Collins. I don't care if it's Hanie or Enderle. As long as Todd stays dead and gone.

RV's not feeling the Todd Collia?

[SKO]

This will cheer you up Slak.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/football/bears/ct-spt-0818-haugh-bears-chicago--20110818,0,4384932.column

LEAVE OUR HAINEY ALONE MERTZ!

Instead of the simple and sense-making Haniemania he types out "Caleb 'Hania'".

Are you fucking kidding me?

I really missed my calling. This "job" of his requires writing 15 word paragraphs. He must kick these things out in 10 minutes.

On the bright side, you know things are somewhat good when this, of all things, is the big story.

I love that this city can't live without a quarterback controversy. Jay is entrenched, so we all have to argue over which guy will take over if the season is fucked anyway?

The only thing worse than reading a David Haugh column is knowing that your backup QB is the desiccated remains of Todd Collins. I don't care if it's Hanie or Enderle. As long as Todd stays dead and gone.

RV's not feeling the Todd Collia?

Todd Cholera. I know it gave me profuse "watery diarrhea and vomiting."

[Brownie]

This will cheer you up Slak.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/football/bears/ct-spt-0818-haugh-bears-chicago--20110818,0,4384932.column

LEAVE OUR HAINEY ALONE MERTZ!

Instead of the simple and sense-making Haniemania he types out "Caleb 'Hania'".

Are you fucking kidding me?

I really missed my calling. This "job" of his requires writing 15 word paragraphs. He must kick these things out in 10 minutes.

On the bright side, you know things are somewhat good when this, of all things, is the big story.

I love that this city can't live without a quarterback controversy. Jay is entrenched, so we all have to argue over which guy will take over if the season is fucked anyway?

The only thing worse than reading a David Haugh column is knowing that your backup QB is the desiccated remains of Todd Collins. I don't care if it's Hanie or Enderle. As long as Todd stays dead and gone.

RV's not feeling the Todd Collia?

Todd Cholera. I know it gave me profuse "watery diarrhea and vomiting."

I was going to laugh at it, but cholera isn't funny. Many Chicagoans suffered from it before they reversed the Chicago River. It caused almost as much suffering to Chicago as Todd Collins.

[SKO]

This will cheer you up Slak.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/football/bears/ct-spt-0818-haugh-bears-chicago--20110818,0,4384932.column

LEAVE OUR HAINEY ALONE MERTZ!

Instead of the simple and sense-making Haniemania he types out "Caleb 'Hania'".

Are you fucking kidding me?

I really missed my calling. This "job" of his requires writing 15 word paragraphs. He must kick these things out in 10 minutes.

On the bright side, you know things are somewhat good when this, of all things, is the big story.

I love that this city can't live without a quarterback controversy. Jay is entrenched, so we all have to argue over which guy will take over if the season is fucked anyway?

The only thing worse than reading a David Haugh column is knowing that your backup QB is the desiccated remains of Todd Collins. I don't care if it's Hanie or Enderle. As long as Todd stays dead and gone.

RV's not feeling the Todd Collia?

Todd Cholera. I know it gave me profuse "watery diarrhea and vomiting."

I was going to laugh at it, but cholera isn't funny. Many Chicagoans suffered from it before they reversed the Chicago River. It caused almost as much suffering to Chicago as Todd Collins.

I approve of this in so many ways.

[Wheezer]

Somehow, I didn't anticipate that reading this was going to lead back to ACB.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Somehow, I didn't anticipate that reading this was going to lead back to ACB.

Whoa.

[Wheezer]

Somehow, I didn't anticipate that reading this was going to lead back to ACB.

Whoa.

The giant-framed diplomas are a bit odd, even leaving out the postdoc part. I've been in that building, but I also didn't realize that the sculpture in front is entitled "Everything That Rises." It's a solid department, don't get me wrong.

[morpheus]

Somehow, I didn't anticipate that reading this was going to lead back to ACB.

Whoa.

The giant-framed diplomas are a bit odd, even leaving out the postdoc part. I've been in that building, but I also didn't realize that the sculpture in front is entitled "Everything That Rises." It's a solid department, don't get me wrong.

(||)

[Saul Goodman]

New ChicagoNOW, same old hilarity.