Totally Unreadable

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I missed the Totally Unreadable catalyst (a post on FoxNews.com from some guy who waited until his wedding night to have sex), but this fisking by KSK is outstanding.

From the comments...

I like how Stephen Crowder, who by his own admission has ZERO personal experience with sexual relations outside of the one time he awkwardly engaged in missionary sex with his bride, feels confident enough to lecture the rest of us on how we've been doing it wrong for decades.

Fuck you, Stephen. If I'm taking cues from a Crowder, it sure as shit ain't you.

Suddenly, his wedding photo is *way* better.

[Internet Apex]

I wonder if the guy he plays tummy sticks with gave him any pointers on how to give it to his old lady on their special night.

[CBStew]

Headline in the Sun-Times sport section:

"Kirk Hinrich tweaks his groin"

Isn't anything private anymore?

[Internet Apex]

Headline in the Sun-Times sport section:

"Kirk Hinrich tweaks his groin"

Isn't anything private anymore?

Somehow that's news. I gotta say though that I admire the way GarPax has Thibs-proofed this roster so that no matter how grindy and scrappy and courageous they may seem, they're still going to be in the lottery - which is where they need to be so they can get D. Rose a second scorer.

[Slaky]

Headline in the Sun-Times sport section:

"Kirk Hinrich tweaks his groin"

Isn't anything private anymore?

Somehow that's news. I gotta say though that I admire the way GarPax has Thibs-proofed this roster so that no matter how grindy and scrappy and courageous they may seem, they're still going to be in the lottery - which is where they need to be so they can get D. Rose a second scorer.

Remind me of this when you look at the standings in January and they're somehow the 4 seed.

[Internet Apex]

Headline in the Sun-Times sport section:

"Kirk Hinrich tweaks his groin"

Isn't anything private anymore?

Somehow that's news. I gotta say though that I admire the way GarPax has Thibs-proofed this roster so that no matter how grindy and scrappy and courageous they may seem, they're still going to be in the lottery - which is where they need to be so they can get D. Rose a second scorer.

Remind me of this when you look at the standings in January and they're somehow the 4 seed.

No. You remind me. I insist.

[Eli]

Headline in the Sun-Times sport section:

"Kirk Hinrich tweaks his groin"

Isn't anything private anymore?

Somehow that's news. I gotta say though that I admire the way GarPax has Thibs-proofed this roster so that no matter how grindy and scrappy and courageous they may seem, they're still going to be in the lottery - which is where they need to be so they can get D. Rose a second scorer.

Remind me of this when you look at the standings in January and they're somehow the 4 seed.

Yeah, even with Rose out they shouldn't have a problem making the playoffs. Then ... WATCH OUT.*

*But not really.

[Internet Apex]

Headline in the Sun-Times sport section:

"Kirk Hinrich tweaks his groin"

Isn't anything private anymore?

Somehow that's news. I gotta say though that I admire the way GarPax has Thibs-proofed this roster so that no matter how grindy and scrappy and courageous they may seem, they're still going to be in the lottery - which is where they need to be so they can get D. Rose a second scorer.

Remind me of this when you look at the standings in January and they're somehow the 4 seed.

Yeah, even with Rose out they shouldn't have a problem making the playoffs. Then ... WATCH OUT.*

*But not really.

Just looking at the Eastern Conference, I think you're actually right about them making the playoffs.

1. Miami*
2. Boston*
3. Indiana*
4. Philadelphia
5. New York
6. Milwaukee
7. Brooklyn
8-15. Vomit

[BH]

Headline in the Sun-Times sport section:

"Kirk Hinrich tweaks his groin"

Isn't anything private anymore?

Somehow that's news. I gotta say though that I admire the way GarPax has Thibs-proofed this roster so that no matter how grindy and scrappy and courageous they may seem, they're still going to be in the lottery - which is where they need to be so they can get D. Rose a second scorer.

Remind me of this when you look at the standings in January and they're somehow the 4 seed.

Exactly. In the NBA you can win most nights just showing up, trying hard and actually playing defense, even against top teams.  Thibs is too smart on defense, even with scrubs, to finish lower than fifth or sixth i'm guessing.

[Internet Apex]

Headline in the Sun-Times sport section:

"Kirk Hinrich tweaks his groin"

Isn't anything private anymore?

Somehow that's news. I gotta say though that I admire the way GarPax has Thibs-proofed this roster so that no matter how grindy and scrappy and courageous they may seem, they're still going to be in the lottery - which is where they need to be so they can get D. Rose a second scorer.

Remind me of this when you look at the standings in January and they're somehow the 4 seed.

Exactly. In the NBA you can win most nights just showing up, trying hard and actually playing defense, even against top teams.  Thibs is too smart on defense, even with scrubs, to finish lower than fifth or sixth i'm guessing.

You do have to score every once in awhile. Who is going to lead this team offensively? Deng? If he's healthy? Which he's not. Boozer - good luck with that. He can make baskets when unguarded but are you running your offense through that? Rip will break down again. Hinrich? I don't see it. I think you guys are over-estimating what Thibs can do with a group that is even more bum-laden than last year's Rose-less collection. That said I'll imagine your best case scenario: These stiffs enjoy rude health, your formula for showing up, grinding out wins against shitty teams or teams coming off a rough trip or game etc can net like 30+ victories. Maybe you get Rose back in February or March and he's somewhat close to his former self. Grind out 41 wins, nab that elusive 7th seed and avoid Miami in the first round. Profit.

[Slaky]

Headline in the Sun-Times sport section:

"Kirk Hinrich tweaks his groin"

Isn't anything private anymore?

Somehow that's news. I gotta say though that I admire the way GarPax has Thibs-proofed this roster so that no matter how grindy and scrappy and courageous they may seem, they're still going to be in the lottery - which is where they need to be so they can get D. Rose a second scorer.

Remind me of this when you look at the standings in January and they're somehow the 4 seed.

Exactly. In the NBA you can win most nights just showing up, trying hard and actually playing defense, even against top teams.  Thibs is too smart on defense, even with scrubs, to finish lower than fifth or sixth i'm guessing.

You do have to score every once in awhile. Who is going to lead this team offensively? Deng? If he's healthy? Which he's not. Boozer - good luck with that. He can make baskets when unguarded but are you running your offense through that? Rip will break down again. Hinrich? I don't see it. I think you guys are over-estimating what Thibs can do with a group that is even more bum-laden than last year's Rose-less collection. That said I'll imagine your best case scenario: These stiffs enjoy rude health, your formula for showing up, grinding out wins against shitty teams or teams coming off a rough trip or game etc can net like 30+ victories. Maybe you get Rose back in February or March and he's somewhat close to his former self. Grind out 41 wins, nab that elusive 7th seed and avoid Miami in the first round. Profit.

No seriously - your sarcasm is more accurate than you think. That's probably exactly what's going to happen. I'm not championing it. I'd like to see them be bad. It won't happen.

[Internet Apex]

Headline in the Sun-Times sport section:

"Kirk Hinrich tweaks his groin"

Isn't anything private anymore?

Somehow that's news. I gotta say though that I admire the way GarPax has Thibs-proofed this roster so that no matter how grindy and scrappy and courageous they may seem, they're still going to be in the lottery - which is where they need to be so they can get D. Rose a second scorer.

Remind me of this when you look at the standings in January and they're somehow the 4 seed.

Exactly. In the NBA you can win most nights just showing up, trying hard and actually playing defense, even against top teams.  Thibs is too smart on defense, even with scrubs, to finish lower than fifth or sixth i'm guessing.

You do have to score every once in awhile. Who is going to lead this team offensively? Deng? If he's healthy? Which he's not. Boozer - good luck with that. He can make baskets when unguarded but are you running your offense through that? Rip will break down again. Hinrich? I don't see it. I think you guys are over-estimating what Thibs can do with a group that is even more bum-laden than last year's Rose-less collection. That said I'll imagine your best case scenario: These stiffs enjoy rude health, your formula for showing up, grinding out wins against shitty teams or teams coming off a rough trip or game etc can net like 30+ victories. Maybe you get Rose back in February or March and he's somewhat close to his former self. Grind out 41 wins, nab that elusive 7th seed and avoid Miami in the first round. Profit.

No seriously - your sarcasm is more accurate than you think. That's probably exactly what's going to happen. I'm not championing it. I'd like to see them be bad. It won't happen.

I'm sorry if it came off sarcastically. That's really the best I think they could hope for. I still haven't seen young teams like Cleveland and Washington in action and I have no idea how good Brooklyn or Milwaukee will be. A month or so into the season, we'll have a feel for who's who in the East. Get in where you fit in. But I'll be truly shocked if they finish higher than 7th.

[BH]

Headline in the Sun-Times sport section:

"Kirk Hinrich tweaks his groin"

Isn't anything private anymore?

Somehow that's news. I gotta say though that I admire the way GarPax has Thibs-proofed this roster so that no matter how grindy and scrappy and courageous they may seem, they're still going to be in the lottery - which is where they need to be so they can get D. Rose a second scorer.

Remind me of this when you look at the standings in January and they're somehow the 4 seed.

Exactly. In the NBA you can win most nights just showing up, trying hard and actually playing defense, even against top teams.  Thibs is too smart on defense, even with scrubs, to finish lower than fifth or sixth i'm guessing.

You do have to score every once in awhile. Who is going to lead this team offensively? Deng? If he's healthy? Which he's not. Boozer - good luck with that. He can make baskets when unguarded but are you running your offense through that? Rip will break down again. Hinrich? I don't see it. I think you guys are over-estimating what Thibs can do with a group that is even more bum-laden than last year's Rose-less collection. That said I'll imagine your best case scenario: These stiffs enjoy rude health, your formula for showing up, grinding out wins against shitty teams or teams coming off a rough trip or game etc can net like 30+ victories. Maybe you get Rose back in February or March and he's somewhat close to his former self. Grind out 41 wins, nab that elusive 7th seed and avoid Miami in the first round. Profit.

No seriously - your sarcasm is more accurate than you think. That's probably exactly what's going to happen. I'm not championing it. I'd like to see them be bad. It won't happen.

New York, Milwaukee and Brooklyn aren't great teams. Thibs will out coach all of them. Unfortunately.

[Internet Apex]

Headline in the Sun-Times sport section:

"Kirk Hinrich tweaks his groin"

Isn't anything private anymore?

Somehow that's news. I gotta say though that I admire the way GarPax has Thibs-proofed this roster so that no matter how grindy and scrappy and courageous they may seem, they're still going to be in the lottery - which is where they need to be so they can get D. Rose a second scorer.

Remind me of this when you look at the standings in January and they're somehow the 4 seed.

Exactly. In the NBA you can win most nights just showing up, trying hard and actually playing defense, even against top teams.  Thibs is too smart on defense, even with scrubs, to finish lower than fifth or sixth i'm guessing.

You do have to score every once in awhile. Who is going to lead this team offensively? Deng? If he's healthy? Which he's not. Boozer - good luck with that. He can make baskets when unguarded but are you running your offense through that? Rip will break down again. Hinrich? I don't see it. I think you guys are over-estimating what Thibs can do with a group that is even more bum-laden than last year's Rose-less collection. That said I'll imagine your best case scenario: These stiffs enjoy rude health, your formula for showing up, grinding out wins against shitty teams or teams coming off a rough trip or game etc can net like 30+ victories. Maybe you get Rose back in February or March and he's somewhat close to his former self. Grind out 41 wins, nab that elusive 7th seed and avoid Miami in the first round. Profit.

No seriously - your sarcasm is more accurate than you think. That's probably exactly what's going to happen. I'm not championing it. I'd like to see them be bad. It won't happen.

New York, Milwaukee and Brooklyn aren't great teams. Thibs will out coach all of them. Unfortunately.

You really believe in that dude, don't you?

[Slaky]

Headline in the Sun-Times sport section:

"Kirk Hinrich tweaks his groin"

Isn't anything private anymore?

Somehow that's news. I gotta say though that I admire the way GarPax has Thibs-proofed this roster so that no matter how grindy and scrappy and courageous they may seem, they're still going to be in the lottery - which is where they need to be so they can get D. Rose a second scorer.

Remind me of this when you look at the standings in January and they're somehow the 4 seed.

Exactly. In the NBA you can win most nights just showing up, trying hard and actually playing defense, even against top teams.  Thibs is too smart on defense, even with scrubs, to finish lower than fifth or sixth i'm guessing.

You do have to score every once in awhile. Who is going to lead this team offensively? Deng? If he's healthy? Which he's not. Boozer - good luck with that. He can make baskets when unguarded but are you running your offense through that? Rip will break down again. Hinrich? I don't see it. I think you guys are over-estimating what Thibs can do with a group that is even more bum-laden than last year's Rose-less collection. That said I'll imagine your best case scenario: These stiffs enjoy rude health, your formula for showing up, grinding out wins against shitty teams or teams coming off a rough trip or game etc can net like 30+ victories. Maybe you get Rose back in February or March and he's somewhat close to his former self. Grind out 41 wins, nab that elusive 7th seed and avoid Miami in the first round. Profit.

No seriously - your sarcasm is more accurate than you think. That's probably exactly what's going to happen. I'm not championing it. I'd like to see them be bad. It won't happen.

New York, Milwaukee and Brooklyn aren't great teams. Thibs will out coach all of them. Unfortunately.

You really believe in that dude, don't you?

His regular season record is hard to argue against. We'll see.