Totally Unreadable

[SKO]

We talkin about sports in here? Good defensive teams? Anyone see the Bears are allowing 8.5 ppg their last four games? Lead the NFL at 13 ppg overall, which is actually 10.6 ppg taking away non-offensive TDs? 21 takeaways? 21 sacks? Best turnover differential in the NFL at +13? Best point differential at +84? You been seein this? You been readin this?

[Eli]

We talkin about sports in here? Good defensive teams? Anyone see the Bears are allowing 8.5 ppg their last four games? Lead the NFL at 13 ppg overall, which is actually 10.6 ppg taking away non-offensive TDs? 21 takeaways? 21 sacks? Best turnover differential in the NFL at +13? Best point differential at +84? You been seein this? You been readin this?

relax

[PenPho]

We talkin about sports in here? Good defensive teams? Anyone see the Bears are allowing 8.5 ppg their last four games? Lead the NFL at 13 ppg overall, which is actually 10.6 ppg taking away non-offensive TDs? 21 takeaways? 21 sacks? Best turnover differential in the NFL at +13? Best point differential at +84? You been seein this? You been readin this?

relax

Best defensive team through 6 games since the 2002 Bucs.

[SKO]

We talkin about sports in here? Good defensive teams? Anyone see the Bears are allowing 8.5 ppg their last four games? Lead the NFL at 13 ppg overall, which is actually 10.6 ppg taking away non-offensive TDs? 21 takeaways? 21 sacks? Best turnover differential in the NFL at +13? Best point differential at +84? You been seein this? You been readin this?

relax

Best defensive team through 6 games since the 2002 Bucs.

That's bonerific.

[Quality Start Machine]

We talkin about sports in here? Good defensive teams? Anyone see the Bears are allowing 8.5 ppg their last four games? Lead the NFL at 13 ppg overall, which is actually 10.6 ppg taking away non-offensive TDs? 21 takeaways? 21 sacks? Best turnover differential in the NFL at +13? Best point differential at +84? You been seein this? You been readin this?

relax

Best defensive team through 6 games since the 2002 Bucs.

It's about fucking time all 11 guys picked someone their guy and defended him.

UnPanked.

[Saul Goodman]

DISCLAIMER: THIS POST IS A JOKE SO DON'T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY

[Brownie]

Matt Spiegel's alias is Damon Buford?

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Read at your own peril, people.

Jay Cutler was directing a painless dissection of the St. Louis Rams last month at Soldier Field as the Cubs were saying a final goodbye to Kerry Wood.

Here's hoping someone sent Cutler a tape. The smirky quarterback could learn something.

As a sports figure, Wood was classic Chicago: a decent, hard-working, down-to-earth guy who carried himself the way we would like to think we would if we were blessed with a 98 mph fastball and breaking stuff so wicked it completely flummoxed a credible Houston Astros lineup in Wood's fifth major-league start as a 20-year-old.

By one measure, that 20-strikeout masterpiece was the worst thing that could have happened to Wood. It set an unattainably high bar for the rest of his career. Largely because of a succession of injuries, Wood is destined to be remembered for what might have been rather than for what was, save for that one shining moment in May 1998.

He won 80 games in a Cubs uniform, as many as Ken Holtzman and 45 fewer than Carlos Zambrano, neither of whom would be hailed as a franchise icon. He never pitched in a World Series — hardly an exclusive club of Cubs — and squandered one opportunity that pains him still.

After all that went terribly wrong in Game 6 of the 2003 National League Championship Series, the Cubs had another chance in Game 7, with Wood taking the mound before an adoring, deliriously supportive packed house at Wrigley Field.

He was at the peak of his powers, having won a career-best 14 games with a league-high 266 strikeouts in 211 innings. But he couldn't close the deal. The Florida Marlins cuffed him for seven runs in 52/3 innings and secured the NL pennant.

Wood's tearful ''I choked'' mea culpa in the postgame clubhouse evoked more sympathy than anger. And in any recounting of still another epic Cubs collapse,
Game 6 protagonists Steve Bartman, Alex Gonzalez and Dusty Baker emerge as the primary culprits.

Woody skates because we love the guy. Always did, always will. All those injuries might have derailed his run at greatness, but he never stopped trying to get there. He didn't go out of his way to court media favor, but simply by being approachable and honest, he created a good-guy persona that Cubs fans embraced.

Wood is a Texan by birth and background, but he has made himself a Chicagoan for life, and there's some benefit to that.

Cutler, were he so inclined, could be an even bigger deal. He plays the most important position on the most important team in the city, and he's acceptably good at it, if not great, with the Bears moving smoothly toward their second playoff trip in his four-year tenure.

Just as important, Cutler put to rest any doubts a self-styled tough town might have had about his own ''toughness'' by crawling out from under 308 pounds of angry Ndamukong Suh to finish the Bears' victory Monday against the Detroit Lions with bruised ribs.

What's not to like?

Well, there's Cutler's demeanor. He comes across as bored and indifferent on his best days, smug and condescending on his worst. He simply doesn't care what you or I or anybody else outside the Bears' locker room thinks of him and won't cooperate with a city that wants to love him.

Does it matter? No, except that it does. Fans aren't privy to the locker-room dynamic and form their perceptions of athletes through the prism of the media. Is that fair? Of course not, but a little civility helps a lot.

Dave Wannstedt probably bought himself an extra year or two as the Bears' coach by being a decent guy. Mark Buehrle, Steve Kerr, Jermaine Dye, Brian Campbell — they've moved on, but they always will be welcome here.

Frank Thomas could have owned the town during his run as the best hitter in baseball. He never chose to, opting for prickly, but he saw the light before it was too late. Watching him yuk it up as part of the White Sox' broadcast crew, it's easy to forget he was once an outcast from the organization.

Sammy Sosa remains in Cubs exile, paying the price for being an unethical, unrepentant diva.

This is not to suggest that Cutler morph into Jay Leno — oh, no, not that. Maybe he's being true to himself by remaining disdainfully above it all. But Chicago would like him better if he liked us back — or at least appeared to. We are, after all, an awfully soft touch for sports stars.

Especially if they're Bears.

[Eli]

Does it matter? No, except that it does. Fans aren't privy to the locker-room dynamic and form their perceptions of athletes through the prism of the media. Is that fair? Of course not, but a little civility helps a lot.

Great argument.

[leaves room for 700 words from SKO]

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Read at your own peril, people.

Game 6 protagonists Steve Bartman, Alex Gonzalez and Dusty Baker emerge as the primary culprits.

Today I learned that Dan McGrath doesn't know the meaning of "protagonist".

[SKO]

Does it matter? No, except that it does. Fans aren't privy to the locker-room dynamic and form their perceptions of athletes through the prism of the media. Is that fair? Of course not, but a little civility helps a lot.

Great argument.

[leaves room for 700 words from SKO]

700 words? You underestimate me. For health reasons I contracted out the task of criticizing the Jay Cutler critics this year. I'm going to try to stick to discussing the on-field Bears, since they're good and I want to enjoy it. That said, can anyone really care at this point? Whether they're right or wrong, can even the most devout Jay Cutler hater even care to read this stuff anymore? Nothing new has been said or added. It's just the same shit recycled time after time.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Also:

Dave Wannstedt probably bought himself an extra year or two as the Bears' coach by being a decent guy. Mark Buehrle, Steve Kerr, Jermaine Dye, Brian Campbell — they've moved on, but they always will be welcome here.

Brian Campbell? DAT OVERPAYED BUM?

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Also:

Dave Wannstedt probably bought himself an extra year or two as the Bears' coach by being a decent guy. Mark Buehrle, Steve Kerr, Jermaine Dye, Brian Campbell — they've moved on, but they always will be welcome here.

Brian Campbell? DAT OVERPAYED BUM?

The more I glance at that article the more I'm convinced it's the worst thing written in the history of human beings.

[Bort]

Read at your own peril, people.

Game 6 protagonists Steve Bartman, Alex Gonzalez and Dusty Baker emerge as the primary culprits.

Today I learned that Dan McGrath doesn't know the meaning of "protagonist".

Intrepid Reader Freelance Dramaturg: *snort*

[CT III]

Also:

Dave Wannstedt probably bought himself an extra year or two as the Bears' coach by being a decent guy. Mark Buehrle, Steve Kerr, Jermaine Dye, Brian Campbell — they've moved on, but they always will be welcome here.

Brian Campbell? DAT OVERPAYED BUM?

The more I glance at that article the more I'm convinced it's the worst thing written in the history of human beings.

We could use some more Dave Wannstedts around here.