Totally Unreadable

[CBStew]

He's mercifully buried behind a paywall these days, but if you're in the mood to read something idiotic today, grab a copy of the Trib's front section off of whoever is sleeping under it and read Dennis Byrne's latest tirade against the evils of today's culture and the decline and fall of the US Empire.

The short version?  Things were much more innocent when he was growing up in the 1940's and 50's (AND DON'T YOU SCOFF) when mass murder was the business of European governments and everything in the US was just fine.  No violence here.  No sir.  Certainly not.  Or at least none that he knew of.

Also, to those of you who post in Mom's Basement: IT WAS YOUR FAULT

Oh?

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2012-03-06/news/chi-william-heirens-dies-known-as-the-lipstick-killer-20120306_1_josephine-ross-william-heirens-parole-hearings

[morpheus]

He's mercifully buried behind a paywall these days, but if you're in the mood to read something idiotic today, grab a copy of the Trib's front section off of whoever is sleeping under it and read Dennis Byrne's latest tirade against the evils of today's culture and the decline and fall of the US Empire.

The short version?  Things were much more innocent when he was growing up in the 1940's and 50's (AND DON'T YOU SCOFF) when mass murder was the business of European governments and everything in the US was just fine.  No violence here.  No sir.  Certainly not.  Or at least none that he knew of.

Also, to those of you who post in Mom's Basement: IT WAS YOUR FAULT

No.  No, it wasn't.

[R-V]

He's mercifully buried behind a paywall these days, but if you're in the mood to read something idiotic today, grab a copy of the Trib's front section off of whoever is sleeping under it and read Dennis Byrne's latest tirade against the evils of today's culture and the decline and fall of the US Empire.

The short version?  Things were much more innocent when he was growing up in the 1940's and 50's (AND DON'T YOU SCOFF) when mass murder was the business of European governments and everything in the US was just fine.  No violence here.  No sir.  Certainly not.  Or at least none that he knew of.

Also, to those of you who post in Mom's Basement: IT WAS YOUR FAULT

No.  No, it wasn't.

morph is correct, it was actually Quentin Tarantino's fault. At least that's what Joe Scarborough told me.

[Eli]

He's mercifully buried behind a paywall these days, but if you're in the mood to read something idiotic today, grab a copy of the Trib's front section off of whoever is sleeping under it and read Dennis Byrne's latest tirade against the evils of today's culture and the decline and fall of the US Empire.

The short version?  Things were much more innocent when he was growing up in the 1940's and 50's (AND DON'T YOU SCOFF) when mass murder was the business of European governments and everything in the US was just fine.  No violence here.  No sir.  Certainly not.  Or at least none that he knew of.

Also, to those of you who post in Mom's Basement: IT WAS YOUR FAULT

No.  No, it wasn't.

I think it's all of the guns.

[CBStew]

Andy likes to publish and answer questions that Ms. Muskat deems to be unworthy of response.  Yet she did respond to this one,


"How does the bullpen look this year, because I think that was our weakness last year.
-- Keith S., Trussville, Ala."

Yep.  That sure was our weakness last season.  The other problem was that I was wearing my trusty Trussville truss too tight on my head and it constricted the blood flow to my brain. 

[Internet Apex]

Andy likes to publish and answer questions that Ms. Muskat deems to be unworthy of response.  Yet she did respond to this one,


"How does the bullpen look this year, because I think that was our weakness last year.
-- Keith S., Trussville, Ala."

Yep.  That sure was our weakness last season.  The other problem was that I was wearing my trusty Trussville truss too tight on my head and it constricted the blood flow to my brain. 

I think "we" had a lot of weaknesses last year. I for one can't resist a nice, plump jelly doughnut in the morning. I've tried. I can't do it.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Andy likes to publish and answer questions that Ms. Muskat deems to be unworthy of response.  Yet she did respond to this one,


"How does the bullpen look this year, because I think that was our weakness last year.
-- Keith S., Trussville, Ala."

Yep.  That sure was our weakness last season.  The other problem was that I was wearing my trusty Trussville truss too tight on my head and it constricted the blood flow to my brain. 

I think "we" had a lot of weaknesses last year. I for one can't resist a nice, plump jelly doughnut in the morning. I've tried. I can't do it.

Where's the old "For Chuck" thread when we need it?

[Chuck to Chuck]

Andy likes to publish and answer questions that Ms. Muskat deems to be unworthy of response.  Yet she did respond to this one,


"How does the bullpen look this year, because I think that was our weakness last year.
-- Keith S., Trussville, Ala."

Yep.  That sure was our weakness last season.  The other problem was that I was wearing my trusty Trussville truss too tight on my head and it constricted the blood flow to my brain. 

I think "we" had a lot of weaknesses last year. I for one can't resist a nice, plump jelly doughnut in the morning. I've tried. I can't do it.

Where's the old "For Chuck" thread when we need it?

Gone when last checked.

And I checked about 25 minutes ago.

[Eli]

Chuck on Twitter talking about the Oscars.

[Yeti]

http://espn.go.com/college-sports/story/_/id/9130997/sources-former-big-east-named-american-athletic-conference

It's not so much unreadable as there is some good CTbait:

The American Athletic Conference will be the third Division I conference with a variation of America or American in its name. The others: America East and Mid-American. There's also Conference USA, which, ironically, is the league where nine of the 12 teams in the American Athletic Conference came from.

[morpheus]

Oh, Gordo. http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2013/04/04/wittenmyer-cubs-going-about-rebuilding-all-wrong/

[Quality Start Machine]

Oh, Gordo. http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2013/04/04/wittenmyer-cubs-going-about-rebuilding-all-wrong/

Technically, he was on the radio.

[morpheus]

Oh, Gordo. http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2013/04/04/wittenmyer-cubs-going-about-rebuilding-all-wrong/

Technically, he was on the radio.

This is so awful it bears repeating.

[flannj]

Oh, Gordo. http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2013/04/04/wittenmyer-cubs-going-about-rebuilding-all-wrong/

Technically, he was on the radio.

This is so awful it bears repeating.

Dammit Morph.

[Brownie]

Oh, Gordo. http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2013/04/04/wittenmyer-cubs-going-about-rebuilding-all-wrong/

Technically, he was on the radio.

This is so awful it bears repeating.

Dammit Morph.

Witttenmeyer and Rogers. A Sun-Times/Tribune rivalry in the spirit of Siskel and Ebert. Except Siskel and Ebert could, you know, actually write, use facts and make somewhat informed opinions:

Phil Rogers on April 1, 2013.

Anthony Rizzo, arrow down – He compiled 76 spring plate appearances without a home run. That didn't seem to bother him, as he was working counts and taking walks all the way to the end of last weekend's series in Houston, but it's hard to ignore 65 at-bats without a homer for a guy who hit one every 16.3 at-bats last year.

Phil Rogers on April 2, 2013

For Rizzo, the moment wasn't too big. He even found a way to joke about how he had gone 48 at-bats in the Cactus League and another 17 with Team Italy without hitting a home run.

Never mind that he had hit one with the Italians on March 5. It came in an unofficial game against the A's and would require an Internet search to find. So Rizzo understood why his teammates "were chirping'' and calling him Campy, a reference to the slap-hitting Tony Campana, who stands more than half a foot shorter than Rizzo and weighs at least 75 pounds less.

Rather than bristle at questions about his underwhelming spring, he told those stories on himself. That might be the best sign of all for Epstein. He is looking to Rizzo to carry the legacy of the homegrown players that he, Hoyer, Jason McLeod and their co-workers chose and then developed to help the Red Sox win the 2007 World Series — guys such as Dustin Pedroia, Jonathan Papelbon, Jon Lester and Jacoby Ellsbury.

...
Rizzo isn't expected just to hit 25-plus home runs and drive in 90-plus runs every year. He's also the guy who is supposed to be a leader on future teams built around Starlin Castro, Welington Castillo (maybe) and kids like Javy Baez, Jorge Soler and Albertico Almora.

...

Piazza, who was Team Italy's hitting coach, praised Rizzo's "beautiful, very picturesque swing'' that he compared to the one Will Clark used to break the Cubs' hearts in the 1989 NLCS.

...

The Cubs have so far to go that you need the Hubble telescope to see from here to there. But it's nice knowing that Rizzo will play a leading role on the journey.