Totally Unreadable

[Saul Goodman]

This is quite possibly the biggest pile of sanctimonious horseshit I've read since the last time I read something by Rick Telander.

http://www.philly.com/philly/sports/eagles/20150128_Seahawks__Lynch_makes_a_mockery_of_Media_Day.html

There's lots of badness here, but I think this may be my favorite:

His teammates' defense of him is understandable; to them, Lynch is loyal in the locker room and ferocious on the field, fully worthy of his "Beast Mode" nickname.

Also, consider their general profile: These largely are very young men whose talent has afforded them shelter and structure most of their lives. They are people for whom "hard work" equates to lifting weights and running sprints; for whom "commitment" means adhering to a loose daily schedule that tells them when to wake, when to eat, when to think; for whom "adversity" means being .500 midway through a season and somehow making the playoffs.

They know little of the real world and its gravity.

These layabouts will never know the hard work that comes from typing on a keyboard to meet a deadline for a sports section.

Ever self-serving, Lynch was thrown a bag of Skittles candy, with whom he has an endorsement deal.

What has this world come to?

If he is allowed to act this way, nothing would prevent other players - all players - from acting this way.

Probably best to have him killed.

It was the height of hypocrisy. Lynch was afforded a priceless, 5-minute ad for Skittles and New Era caps.

No hypocrisy higher.

Beast Mode should be the MVP for simultaneously sparking hyperventilating hot takes and exposing the NFL for caring more about the integrity of silly media availabilities than DV victims. Team Marshawn all the way.

[CT III]

Lynch's boycott of the press is no different from boycotting a meeting, a practice or a game. What if he mailed it in at the Super Bowl the way he mailed it in on Media Day?

I'd say it's kind of different.

As expected, his antics stole the spotlight from other, less distasteful distractions.

I appreciate this guy devoting an entire column to how terrible it is that Marshawn Lynch stole the spotlight by not giving interviews. But I wonder what really important stuff got overshadowed?

Belichick waxed sentimental about his love for Jon Bon Jovi and all things Jovian (sorry, Jupiter). Tom Brady buys chocolate bars as a late-night 7-Eleven indulgence. Patriots running back LeGarrette Blount believes the Seahawks' defense is not made up of vampires:

"They're not immortal."

Oh.

Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski created a stir by reading aloud from an erotic novel that starred a fictional version of himself. The erotica was poorly done and, really, coincidental.

The news was that Gronk can read.

Oh.

Spritely divas Lipinski and Weir, former Olympic skaters working the fashion angle for NBC, showed up in fabulous outfits. He had on a scarlet jacket over a silk shirt with a gemstone necklace, crammed his feet into 4-inch wedge booties and wore more makeup than she did.

The biggest diva in Phoenix was Marshawn Lynch, and the worst sort of diva:

Fake.

Sick. Burn.

[Eli]

This is quite possibly the biggest pile of sanctimonious horseshit I've read since the last time I read something by Rick Telander.

http://www.philly.com/philly/sports/eagles/20150128_Seahawks__Lynch_makes_a_mockery_of_Media_Day.html

There's lots of badness here, but I think this may be my favorite:

His teammates' defense of him is understandable; to them, Lynch is loyal in the locker room and ferocious on the field, fully worthy of his "Beast Mode" nickname.

Also, consider their general profile: These largely are very young men whose talent has afforded them shelter and structure most of their lives. They are people for whom "hard work" equates to lifting weights and running sprints; for whom "commitment" means adhering to a loose daily schedule that tells them when to wake, when to eat, when to think; for whom "adversity" means being .500 midway through a season and somehow making the playoffs.

They know little of the real world and its gravity.

These layabouts will never know the hard work that comes from typing on a keyboard to meet a deadline for a sports section.

So yeah you guys get all kinds of injections and shit in order to hold your bodies together while you tear every muscle and ligament you have and also wreck your brains in weekly head-to-head collisions, but what do you know of hard work?

Also, I'm sure Lynch was completely sheltered from the real world while growing up in swanky Oakland, California.

T o me, that whole part was the dumbest thing in the article, by a wide margin. Borderline offensive, considering the upbringings of so many NFL players.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

This is quite possibly the biggest pile of sanctimonious horseshit I've read since the last time I read something by Rick Telander.

http://www.philly.com/philly/sports/eagles/20150128_Seahawks__Lynch_makes_a_mockery_of_Media_Day.html

There's lots of badness here, but I think this may be my favorite:

His teammates' defense of him is understandable; to them, Lynch is loyal in the locker room and ferocious on the field, fully worthy of his "Beast Mode" nickname.

Also, consider their general profile: These largely are very young men whose talent has afforded them shelter and structure most of their lives. They are people for whom "hard work" equates to lifting weights and running sprints; for whom "commitment" means adhering to a loose daily schedule that tells them when to wake, when to eat, when to think; for whom "adversity" means being .500 midway through a season and somehow making the playoffs.

They know little of the real world and its gravity.

These layabouts will never know the hard work that comes from typing on a keyboard to meet a deadline for a sports section.

So yeah you guys get all kinds of injections and shit in order to hold your bodies together while you tear every muscle and ligament you have and also wreck your brains in weekly head-to-head collisions, but what do you know of hard work?

Also, I'm sure Lynch was completely sheltered from the real world while growing up in swanky Oakland, California.

T o me, that whole part was the dumbest thing in the article, by a wide margin. Borderline offensive, considering the upbringings of so many NFL players.

White privilege is a helluva thing.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

This is quite possibly the biggest pile of sanctimonious horseshit I've read since the last time I read something by Rick Telander.

http://www.philly.com/philly/sports/eagles/20150128_Seahawks__Lynch_makes_a_mockery_of_Media_Day.html

There's lots of badness here, but I think this may be my favorite:

His teammates' defense of him is understandable; to them, Lynch is loyal in the locker room and ferocious on the field, fully worthy of his "Beast Mode" nickname.

Also, consider their general profile: These largely are very young men whose talent has afforded them shelter and structure most of their lives. They are people for whom "hard work" equates to lifting weights and running sprints; for whom "commitment" means adhering to a loose daily schedule that tells them when to wake, when to eat, when to think; for whom "adversity" means being .500 midway through a season and somehow making the playoffs.

They know little of the real world and its gravity.

These layabouts will never know the hard work that comes from typing on a keyboard to meet a deadline for a sports section.

So yeah you guys get all kinds of injections and shit in order to hold your bodies together while you tear every muscle and ligament you have and also wreck your brains in weekly head-to-head collisions, but what do you know of hard work?

Also, I'm sure Lynch was completely sheltered from the real world while growing up in swanky Oakland, California.

T o me, that whole part was the dumbest thing in the article, by a wide margin. Borderline offensive, considering the upbringings of so many NFL players.

White privilege is a helluva thing.

"Says you, pasty."

[Shooter]

Lynch's boycott of the press is no different from boycotting a meeting, a practice or a game. What if he mailed it in at the Super Bowl the way he mailed it in on Media Day?

I'd say it's kind of different.

As expected, his antics stole the spotlight from other, less distasteful distractions.

I appreciate this guy devoting an entire column to how terrible it is that Marshawn Lynch stole the spotlight by not giving interviews. But I wonder what really important stuff got overshadowed?

Belichick waxed sentimental about his love for Jon Bon Jovi and all things Jovian (sorry, Jupiter). Tom Brady buys chocolate bars as a late-night 7-Eleven indulgence. Patriots running back LeGarrette Blount believes the Seahawks' defense is not made up of vampires:

"They're not immortal."

Oh.

Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski created a stir by reading aloud from an erotic novel that starred a fictional version of himself. The erotica was poorly done and, really, coincidental.

The news was that Gronk can read.

Oh.

Spritely divas Lipinski and Weir, former Olympic skaters working the fashion angle for NBC, showed up in fabulous outfits. He had on a scarlet jacket over a silk shirt with a gemstone necklace, crammed his feet into 4-inch wedge booties and wore more makeup than she did.

The biggest diva in Phoenix was Marshawn Lynch, and the worst sort of diva:

Fake.

Sick. Burn.

This pretty much sums it up for me. The number of guys who have something interesting or insightful to say is nearly zero. Who the fuck cares if Marshawn Lynch chooses to actually say nothing, rather than spending 15 minutes answering questions but saying nothing more of substance than if he had kept quiet?

[Saul Goodman]

Remarkable restraint by Will Leitch here to not put the Cardinals first on every team's top three rival list.  Although the Cardinals do have the most mentions, more than the Yankees, of course.

[InternetApex]

Remarkable restraint by Will Leitch here to not put the Cardinals first on every team's top three rival list.  Although the Cardinals do have the most mentions, more than the Yankees, of course.

He also states that in his opinion, Cubs/Cards is the best rivalry in the game even though they've never met in the postseason.

[Slaky]

Remarkable restraint by Will Leitch here to not put the Cardinals first on every team's top three rival list.  Although the Cardinals do have the most mentions, more than the Yankees, of course.

He also states that in his opinion, Cubs/Cards is the best rivalry in the game even though they've never met in the postseason.

It's so fucking not the best rivalry in the game it's laughable. God this clown bothers me.

[CBStew]

Remarkable restraint by Will Leitch here to not put the Cardinals first on every team's top three rival list.  Although the Cardinals do have the most mentions, more than the Yankees, of course.

He also states that in his opinion, Cubs/Cards is the best rivalry in the game even though they've never met in the postseason.

It's so fucking not the best rivalry in the game it's laughable. God this clown bothers me.

For those of us who were breathing in 1969, we will always despise the Mets.  If we were still breathing in 2004 the Padres replaced the Mets.  But if you get a chance, drop in at AT&T Park in San Francisco when the Cubs are in town.  It is almost as intense as the Giants/Dodgers rivalry.

[InternetApex]

Remarkable restraint by Will Leitch here to not put the Cardinals first on every team's top three rival list.  Although the Cardinals do have the most mentions, more than the Yankees, of course.

He also states that in his opinion, Cubs/Cards is the best rivalry in the game even though they've never met in the postseason.

It's so fucking not the best rivalry in the game it's laughable. God this clown bothers me.

For those of us who were breathing in 1969, we will always despise the Mets.  If we were still breathing in 2004 1984 the Padres replaced the Mets.  But if you get a chance, drop in at AT&T Park in San Francisco when the Cubs are in town.  It is almost as intense as the Giants/Dodgers rivalry.

Unless I missed something'd.

At some point in time, Cubs fans could hate every team in the NL except - maybe the Rockies. I don't know if they've ever hurt us.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Remarkable restraint by Will Leitch here to not put the Cardinals first on every team's top three rival list.  Although the Cardinals do have the most mentions, more than the Yankees, of course.

He also states that in his opinion, Cubs/Cards is the best rivalry in the game even though they've never met in the postseason.

It's so fucking not the best rivalry in the game it's laughable. God this clown bothers me.

For those of us who were breathing in 1969, we will always despise the Mets.  If we were still breathing in 2004 1984 the Padres replaced the Mets.  But if you get a chance, drop in at AT&T Park in San Francisco when the Cubs are in town.  It is almost as intense as the Giants/Dodgers rivalry.

Unless I missed something'd.

At some point in time, Cubs fans could hate every team in the NL except - maybe the Rockies. I don't know if they've ever hurt us.

Vinny Castilla fueled my butthurt pretty good in the nineties and early aughts.

[Canadouche]

Remarkable restraint by Will Leitch here to not put the Cardinals first on every team's top three rival list.  Although the Cardinals do have the most mentions, more than the Yankees, of course.

He also states that in his opinion, Cubs/Cards is the best rivalry in the game even though they've never met in the postseason.

It's so fucking not the best rivalry in the game it's laughable. God this clown bothers me.

For those of us who were breathing in 1969, we will always despise the Mets.  If we were still breathing in 2004 1984 the Padres replaced the Mets.  But if you get a chance, drop in at AT&T Park in San Francisco when the Cubs are in town.  It is almost as intense as the Giants/Dodgers rivalry.

Unless I missed something'd.

At some point in time, Cubs fans could hate every team in the NL except - maybe the Rockies. I don't know if they've ever hurt us.

Fuck Colorado. Don Baylor was successful enough in Colorado that it segued into a Cubs managerial job.

[InternetApex]

Remarkable restraint by Will Leitch here to not put the Cardinals first on every team's top three rival list.  Although the Cardinals do have the most mentions, more than the Yankees, of course.

He also states that in his opinion, Cubs/Cards is the best rivalry in the game even though they've never met in the postseason.

It's so fucking not the best rivalry in the game it's laughable. God this clown bothers me.

For those of us who were breathing in 1969, we will always despise the Mets.  If we were still breathing in 2004 1984 the Padres replaced the Mets.  But if you get a chance, drop in at AT&T Park in San Francisco when the Cubs are in town.  It is almost as intense as the Giants/Dodgers rivalry.

Unless I missed something'd.

At some point in time, Cubs fans could hate every team in the NL except - maybe the Rockies. I don't know if they've ever hurt us.

Fuck Colorado. Don Baylor was successful enough in Colorado that it segued into a Cubs managerial job.

That's a reach. I'm ambivalent on the Rockies. I don't have much issue with the Nationals either, other than their manager being a pud.

[CBStew]

Remarkable restraint by Will Leitch here to not put the Cardinals first on every team's top three rival list.  Although the Cardinals do have the most mentions, more than the Yankees, of course.

He also states that in his opinion, Cubs/Cards is the best rivalry in the game even though they've never met in the postseason.

It's so fucking not the best rivalry in the game it's laughable. God this clown bothers me.

For those of us who were breathing in 1969, we will always despise the Mets.  If we were still breathing in 2004 1984 the Padres replaced the Mets.  But if you get a chance, drop in at AT&T Park in San Francisco when the Cubs are in town.  It is almost as intense as the Giants/Dodgers rivalry.

Unless I missed something'd.

At some point in time, Cubs fans could hate every team in the NL except - maybe the Rockies. I don't know if they've ever hurt us.

Fuck Colorado. Don Baylor was successful enough in Colorado that it segued into a Cubs managerial job.

That's a reach. I'm ambivalent on the Rockies. I don't have much issue with the Nationals either, other than their manager being a pud.

As long as we are identifying bad guys, I have issues with the Tigers, the Yankees, and the Red Sox